Donatello -
I hardly hear the door to my room open, but all of a sudden there she is, standing there, looking at me. Her face is pink and flushed, her eyes wet and red from crying. My heart aches for her in that moment, and aches for me. For us.
"Your brothers need you." She says softly, looking down at her nails, painted in her customary clear polish. I wonder briefly how or why I remember that.
"Is something going on out there?" The thought enters my head suddenly, making me stand quickly, my heart racing.
She puts her hand up to stop me. "No. No." She repeats, looking at me tiredly. "I mean, they need you." She looked back at the door. "Things are falling apart quickly, Don. Your family is..." She shakes her head, then she looks down, bringing her hands up to her face. "Things are falling apart." She gets out, repeating herself, and I realize that she is crying again. "They need you." She repeats again, but I feel my face becoming hard.
"And we need real doctors and real medicines, and all things that being us don't afford." I say harshly, but instantly regret it, seeing the look on her face as she looks back up at me.
Her eyes are wet and pink, but mostly, and what gets to me, is how... disappointed she looks.
"He is your father, Don." She says, disapprovingly. "And all you're doing is lamenting what you think is your burden. Like you are looking for a reason to feel sorry for yourself, and you are using him. You are punishing him for it!" She cried out, and each word punched through my chest like a dagger. She turns away from me, and I have to fight to not reach out for her. I run a hand over my head, sinking down onto my bed.
April
It is painfully quiet in the room for almost five minutes. Or it could have been one minute; the seconds alone seemed to last an eternity. I cannot believe I have said these things to him... him of all of them. I can't believe I thought he deserved them. Or that he did.
"I'm sorry." His voice breaks the silence, small and quiet, and so... young. Lost.
My resolve breaks instantly, and I go to him. Wrapping my arms around him, he immediately pulls me to him. His arms, containing muscles capable of so much strength, hold me gently. I take a deep, shuddering breath, inhaling his unique scent that I have grown to know above all others. And love.
I get it, though.. He's so lost, so unsure of what to do that it scares him. I understand it; I am a scientist by nature. I'm not sure what I'd do in his position. I'm sure very few individuals are faced with such a tough situation as they are. I do not envy them.
I take his hand, and he looks at me. My heart skips a beat as our eyes lock. I pull him to his feet, leading him back out with the others. They need each other right now.
Men. Always needing to be told what to do.
Raphael
I run my hand over my head, frustrated. I don't know what to do. April and Don are in his room doing God knows what... Mike's flipping through the channels of the tv at record pace, and Leo...
I look around the room another moment. Leo... isn't here. Great. He went all invisible on us. My blood begins to boil at that.
The door to Don's room opens more, and they come out, April leadin' him by the hand. I grit my teeth.
"Something needs to be done here." April says, and I see her squeeze Don's hand as she does. "We all need to get together and..."
"If ya hadn't notice," I break in, losing my resolve. "Leo went MIA on us... Nice for him to take off when we need him."
"Yeah, isn't that your job?" Mike mutters.
Donatello
I didn't hear what Mike said, but obviously Raph did. A split second after the words left his mouth, faster than I've ever seen before, Raph was over the back of the couch and then they were both on the floor. April gasped, and even I started at the sight. Raph was on top of Mike, pushing him against the ground. He raised a hand, and brought it down swiftly, but Mike was faster, getting over his shock and blocking the hit.
I ran over, grabbing Raph by the arms, pulling him backwards and off of Mike. I barely had time to react when he swung at me, and he caught my cheek; though not at full blast.
Thank goodness.
April ran over then, but didn't head for Mike or I. She went straight for Raph, slapping him hard across the face. It was enough for us all to stop dead in our tracks, and a rushing noise took over my ears. It was a good minute or so before I realized that she was screaming.
"...ever, ever see you do that again! What is wrong with you?" She went on, her face red. I'd never seen her like this before. Raph was sitting back on the ground staring at her, a hand over his face where the imprint of her hand was fast turning pink.
Mike was frozen in his place as well; you could tell he was stuck between saying something or letting her ream him out for a bit longer. His goodness won out, though, and he was behind her a moment later, grabbing her gently to him, whispering in her ear, rubbing her hair to calm her.
I walk up to Raph, silently putting a hand out to help him up. He took it, almost pulling me down with how fast he got up.
"Leo's gone." He says to me, and I nod. "We need to find him."
I sigh, looking at April. We have to move, and soon. Walking up to her, I take her hands in mine. They are hot with her upset, and I squeeze them comfortingly. "We have to find Leo." I say, almost apologetically. She nods, understanding, and says softly, "I'll wait here, if he comes back." She's so sad looking still, that before I can stop myself I lean forward and press my lips against her forehead.
Michaelangelo -
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Raph tense up, clenching his fists. He's already on the edge, and judging by his earlier reaction, we do not want to push him. I clear my throat, and everyone looks at me.
"It's getting late..." I get out, and Raph grabs up his cell, jamming it into his belt.
"He better hope I don't find him first." He mutters, heading towards the door. I move towards the door, too. I don't want Raph getting too far ahead of us.
Plus, I am kinda concerned if he does find Leo before we do. I look back at Don, who follows us, leaving April behind.
Donatello -
Despite Mike's apprehensions, we split up not long after heading out. Besides the time of night it was, and moving quickly later, it was cold in the sewers.
And I don't think any of us wanted to leave April alone for long.
Just in case.
Sighing heavily, I look down yet another passage. It feels as if we've been searching for hours, and maybe it has been. My phone goes off, making me jump.
"Get back home." Mike intones, then hangs up. I blink at my phone a moment before turning and rushing back.
When I finally get back home and through the door, my heart felt ready to burst through my chest. I open the door and my first sight is Mike sitting on the couch next to a blanket covered Leo. I rush to his side. "What's wrong?" My hand immediately goes to Leo's forehead. His skin is cold. Too cold.
"Found him... a ways down." Mike says, avoiding my gaze. He's leaving things out, but I don't have time to worry about that now.
"Leo?" I call to him softly, but he, too, won't look at me. I sigh heavily. Raph was standing at the edge of the room, arms crossed in his customary agitated position.
"This is a great little 'family chat'." He said lowly. "We waste all this time lookin' for Leo; goin' all over kingdom come... And he won't talk!"
Mike went to say something, but I shook my head slowly.
"I just..." Raph began pacing. Never a good sign. "What should we do here? Where do we go?" He ran a hand over his head roughly. "Where the hell did you go?" He turned on Leo suddenly, screaming less than an inch from his face.
"Stop it, Raph!" I speak up finally, my voice louder than even I expected it. "Go grab some blankets." I order. Leo is so cold, we have to warm him. I bend down to look him in the eye, grabbing his hand in an attempt to gauge his temperature and feel for his pulse. It's racing, and I look up at Mike.
"He's been like this the whole time?" I ask, and he nods seriously. "I think he's going into shock, Mike."
His eyes widen, and I take a deep breath.
"He'll be ok, if we can just get him warm..."
Michaelangelo -
As if on cue, Raph showed up right then with some blankets. He unceremoniously tossed them at Don, who said nothing, and wrapped them around our brother. April arrived then with a warm cup of tea, and Don smiled gratefully at her. I hadn't even seen her leave the room.
It is quiet for a few moments as we get Leo wrapped in warming blankets. April stands with her arms crossed, watching us.
"I just think... at times like these, you should be sticking together..." April mutters, looking down. "Not fighting. Like this."
Raph looks up like she hit him again. "Real nice to be told how to react to something you have no experience with..." He shot back, and her eyes flash. It reminds me, somehow, of him. Don notices, too, and we catch each other's eyes. He looks worried.
"You're right, Raph." She says back, louder this time. "I don't. My father died years ago." Her voice wavers, and she continues. "But Splinter has been like a father to me since I met you guys... And this hurts me as much as..." She breaks off. "As much as it should hurt you."
In an instant, he is on his feet. "How dare you tell me how I am feeling!" She winces, but keeps an unwavering gaze on him. He advances on her, and she backs up a step. "You don't know what it's like, no matter how much you wanna pretend to sympathise."
Donnie took a step towards them, ready to open his mouth, but April beat him to it.
"I am not pretending!" She shrieked.
"Don't give me that shit, April." Raph raged. "You got no idea what it's like anymore, 'cause you get to go up to your perfect life away from here and forget. We don't get to do that."
His face was more angry than I'd seen him in a long time. I figured, maybe he was letting off some steam about... well, just everything.
"My life..." April began slowly. "Is not perfect."
"Yer a goddamn spoiled princess up there in yer apartment, away from all this." He seethed. I can't imagine why he hadn't taken off already, but he seemed almost intent on... hurting her.
Time for me to speak up.
Raphael -
My breath left my body in deep gasps. My heart was racing, and my hands clenched into fists so deep, I'm sure my nails cut into my flesh. I'd never been this angry and April. I wasn't really sure why I was... But I was.
"This isn't the time." Mike put his hands on Leo's shoulders, and I felt another wave of anger run through me. How could he just... shut us out like this right now? I hated him for it.
I also hated myself for realizing that I needed him. Right now.
Jesus, no. I shut my eyes tightly against everyone; fighting the burning in my eyes. Everything was swirling in my head, jumbling up inside me. Splinter, Leo... Mike... April and Don... and how freakin' hurt April looked when I yelled at her.
My shoulders slumped and I felt like I was going to bust. I wanted to scream; to let it all out. But I knew that would frighten Sensei. Shaking, I fell to my knees. I could feel hotness hit my cheeks.
I was so intent on keeping my eyes shut, so no one could see me... My weakness... I almost jumped outta my skin when I felt someone put their arms around me.
Donatello -
Raph hit the ground, and I think we all jumped a bit. I was a little relieved, though. I was more than a little nervous as to his and April's... disagreement.
April... was shaking like a leaf. I wanted to go to her, but a sudden movement in the corner of my eye stopped me.
Leo... had moved from the couch and was kneeling next to Raph, wrapping an arm around him, the blanket enveloping them both. A lump hits my throat suddenly. I'm reminded suddenly of being little and sitting together with my brothers. We'd huddle on one of the beds together and wrap our blankets around us to stay warm in the winters, or to comfort another after a bad dream, or even to just... be with each other. It was always so safe, so... innocent and blissfully unaware. The thought of how that time once was, and the crushing weight of reality was enough to make my breath catch, and my hand moved to my chest.
Without my knowing it, I find myself kneeling also, my own arms moving around my brothers, and when I feel a hand gripping my wrist, I look up. Mike's watery eyes meet mine, and I knew he was thinking the same thing. Those nights we were small, we used each other for warmth and safety. Our father was but a room away back then. It never crossed our minds that he wouldn't be. Now... Things are changing, and soon... We will be really, and truly...
Alone.