AN: I received relatively many reviews in such a short period of time. I thank you all for sticking to this story. It's really fun writing it!
I'm using a short break in studying to add another chapter to this. I hope you'll enjoy, and please make sure to review (thus I can know how do you like the story). Enjoy!
P.S. I still don't have a spell check, and I don't like to submit my work to any beta reader, so please, don't mind my mistakes.
Unloved
Chapter 7: Memories Carved in the Floor
How stupid it was, his desire for Byakuya to never find what he had been looking for for over three years. Renji hoped that once, when his beloved found his happiness, he would have the piece of that happiness as well. He was happy when his lover was happy. It was a simple logic, a formula for unselfish love.
It was ten in the morning the next day when he came to Ukitake to check on the reincarnation. He found her drinking tea with the captain.
The older man was sitting opposite her, with the ever present friendly smile on his face. Renji loved this good-natured man like he would love his own father. It was still odd for him, and he couldn't still comprehend some parts of their conversation from last night, and the fact that he actually knew everything about his relationship with the captain of the 6th division.
How could Byakuya ever say such thing to Renji, as:" I wanted to protect you"? Renji could understand that much, that Byakuya needed somebody else to say such a thing to him. But still, it wouldn't harm if they talked, only once, at least. Thus, he hated Ukitake for being involved in their affairs.
He bowed. The girl, who looked like Rukia in every detail, inclined her head to return the greeting.
"My name is Abarai Renji." he said, his movements full of respect, and his voice ever so polite. He had surpassed the hatred he had been feeling last night, for the girl had done nothing bad to him. "I found you, together with my captain."
She raised her short eyebrow, as if examining him. Ukitake showed him to sit.
"For that, I owe you so much, Abarai-sama." she said, her words somewhat calculated, adding a proper suffix to his name. He found she exaggerated. "My name is Asahina Fumiko" she said.
"I'm pleased to meet you, Fumiko-san." he said in a gentle voice. "Please address me by my given name. You don't need to add a suffix to it." he could already imagine her saying:' Byakuya-sama'. Why would she call him with such hight honorific as well?
She nodded in apology and they resumed drinking tea in silence.
"Fumiko-san, how do you feel today? Could you explain us what happened yesterday?" Ukitake asked.
"I'm much better, thanks. As you may presume, the Hollow attacked me, but I managed to escape."
Both men nodded in understanding. The silence went on for about ten minutes, and then Renji decided to break it. He was so anxious to deliver her to Byakuya, to see his reaction. To see whether he would be rejected or accepted. He wanted to do it personally, to introduce them. To see all of that. To feed his pain. To be able to let go and forget once and for all.
"Fumiko-san, you can repay by coming with me to a certain noble house. I want to introduce you to a certain shinigami."
She looked at Ukitake in question, saw another nodding. But Ukitake never meant that Renji would go straight to the point.
"It would be very beneficial for you, Fumiko-san. You said yourself that you didnt have anywhere to go. We found you a potential home in a noble house of Kuchiki clan."
"Really? But I'm nobody important."
"You may become, who knows?" Ukitake said. "Besides, the house is almost empty and lonely. In that house live the heir's elders, but it's as if they don't exist."
"I see" she said.
"It would be a great accomodation for you." Ukitake said. Fumiko smiled.
"In that case, who am I to object? I owe you, anyway." she said.
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Every now and then, on their way to Byakuya's mansion, Renji would look at Fumiko from the corner of his eye, noting that she looked so collected, as if she was unaware that he was practically 'selling' her to the Kuchiki clan. He pitied her for her naivety. He was afraid that, just like Hisana, she could not reciprocate Byakuya's love. He was afraid of a possible disappointment from his former captain's side; he hoped that Fumiko knew what was going on, so that they wouldn't have any misunderstandings. He sincerely hoped that she would meet Byakuya's expectations.
There was no reason for otherwise, she shared with Hisana reiatsu and looks. Memories were not needed, and the name Fumiko...He hoped that Buyakuya wouldn't mind.
They were greeted at the front gate and they immediately carried on. Renji saw confusion and a slight sign of terror in the eyes of servants, whispering carefully about Hisana's comeback. He knew that this woouldn't be kept a secret anymore. It was the matter of days before the entire Seireitei found out about it.
He encouraged Fumiko to go forward, until they met a man of extraordinary beauty, kenseikan in his longish, dark hair, face indifferent. Yet Renji knew Byakuya was taken aback by what he was looking at and what he was feeling, that familiar reiatsu.
Byakuya had felt restlesness withing his servants' souls. He had looked at his elders, and then exited to see for himself, a miracle that he had been waiting to happen for three long years. He had been surprised to feel Renji's reiatsu as well. His elders had frowned at the feeling of Renji's presence.
Renji glanced at Fumiko, who, for the first time, seemed to be bewildered.
'She must be impressed by his beauty' he thought.
He bowed.
"Kuchiki Byakuya-sama, may I present you Asahina Fumiko-san, an acquaintance of mine." Fumiko bowed as well, and Byakuya returned the greeting. When he thought better, Renji had never addressed to him that way. It had always been either 'Captain Kuchiki', or 'Captain', or, in their recent history, 'Byakuya'. Of course, he could not hope for the latter, but he hadn't expected such hight honorific from Renji. Why did he bother with that, anyway? Hisana was there.
They were sitting in the very same room that made both men recall important events in their lives: Hisana's death, Renji's and Byakuya's lovemaking, morning routines of drinking tea in silence, pointless conversations, plans for division's activities etc. Renji shrugged at the thought. He had informed Byakuya of Fumiko's whereabouts until Captain Ukitake and he had found her. Byakuya had nodded in understanding, and tactlessly asked Fumiko if she would like to stay with him (until she fould an accomodation of her own).
'He's in such a hurry to get married' Renji thought. 'Still I don't blame him if he will be happy in that marriage.'
Constantly forgetting about his heart, Renji kept being cheerful throughtout their encounter. Fumiko had gone to see her new chambers and the two of them left alone for the first time in about two months.
"I worry about Rukia" Renji said. "In her condition, I think that she needn't know about the reincarnation of her sister. Can you keep it a secret until she gives birth to your nephew?" the interaction between the two could be considered normal, since they had never been relaxed around each other. In a way, they had always been formal to one another.
"I will do my best, Renji. But I cannot promise." At this, Renji frowned. Still, it was the kind of answer he had expected to hear. "How are you?" Byakuya asked out of the blue.
Renji lowered his head. If only he could run his fingers through Byakuya's hair. But what was the point when it was one-sided love?Nothing made sense.
"I'm fine. People are getting used to me as their new lieutenant. Slowly, but still..." he said, swirling his tea in his bowl. "And the students were so excited when they saw my bankai. It made me proud of my time being in 11th squad. I learned a lot back then."
"Was it the time when you learned your bankai?"
"Yes"
"I see"
"I wanted to surpass you back then. Only now do I realize how much I was childish."
"There is nothing childish in your wants, Renji."
'Oh really? What if I want you to be mine again? Isn't it impossible; therefore childish of me to want it?' he thought.
Renji didn't say a word more. It appeared that Byakuya was struggling to relax the redhead as much as possible.
"I hope Fumiko-san met your expectations." he said in a flat, indifferent tone, still staring at his tea. Byakuya nodded, but said nothing.
'On the very same floor, so much seed spilled.' he thought. 'Yours and mine.' he took a sip of his tea. There were no gloves on his aristocratic hands. 'Kisses exchanged...'
"I'm really looking forward to the baby" Renji decided to change a subject. "You?" he broke Byakuya's train of thoughts.
"Of course." he said. "He or she will have everything he or she needs."
"People don't need only material things, Captain." Renji remarked. It appeared like a normal conversation between a captain and subordinate. "They need love" he added.
"He or she will have as much love as they need." Byakuya corrected himself.
The tension increased. Byakuya recalled of their first nights together, clumsy, sloppy lovemaking; both men hadn't been sure how to do it with a man. It had appeared so comical, in the nights of despair, when Byakuya had first felt fear of losing the redhead, to be so clumsy.
They had never talked about their time being together.
Renji nodded. "I hope so." he took a sip of his tea. 'During our first several times, there was a bit of blood on this floor. From both sides. It had been so painful, that we found the joy within the pain.' the redhead thought.
"I hope that we can stay on good terms, Renji." Byakuya said.
"Of course we can" Renji smiled. "But don't expect miracles." he stood up, leaving his bowl beside his feet. "It's time for me to go. Be good to Fumiko-san. She's a nice girl." He bowed, ready to leave.
"Renji." he turned. Byakuya was still sitting, never looking at his former lieutenant. "Thank you." The redhead just nodded and left.
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Byakuya had never expected from Renji to be the one to find Hisana's reincarnation. He appreciated him more for this extraordinary deed. To surpass anger, disappointment, bitterness...and to be fair enough to bring her to him...He treasured it so much. Renji was indeed an extraordinary person.
He caressed the wooden floor delicately, the floor that held so many memories. Pineapple-like ponytail was bouncing as its owner was heading to the exit. The ponytail Byakuya found incredibly cute. The red hair, when untied, used to fall all over its owner's face, shoulders, and back, making Renji look like a wild beast, enraged and dangerous. Exotic tattoos all over his muscular body...'Sweat on the floor and tea session with him afterwards...So many important decisions made while limbs entangled....Or his body simply beside me, him sleeping peacefully, back to back...Whatever...' the Kuchiki heir sighed.
"Byakuya-sama..." a voice said, the same one Hisana had...the same 'Byakuya-sama'...
He stood up and bowed, still in amusement. But she possessed neither memories of his late wife, nor her name. His heart ached, as they started their walk through his enormous garden. It still felt like it was Hisana, next to him, like before, and he forgot about everything, giving in. It was once in a lifetime to have your previous life back...As if nothing was there to mar it.
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TBC...?