A Tangled Web

McCoy grinned, stepping out of the shower and wrapping himself around the towel wrapped around Jessy. Spending the night together and having time for a little fun in the morning was a rare treat, although they'd managed it a little more often now that Jim had become distracted by a different shiny object.

"You sure I'm not going to wind up having to patch Jim up, darlin'?" Len asked nuzzling wet hair that smelled deliciously of oranges and ginger.

The door chimed. "Hey, Bones are you in there?"

"Dammit he's supposed to be talking to the Chief," Jessy whispered.

Bones rolled his eyes at her in the mirror. When had Jim Kirk ever followed directions? He wrapped a towel around his waist and stepped out, carefully closing the bathroom door. "I just got out of the shower Jim and unless you'd like to be re-vaccinated for Melvaran Mud Flea virus you'll stay on the other side of that door until I come out with some clothes on!"

"Jeez, Bones, when did you get all bashful?" Jim tossed back. But at least he didn't override the lock to let himself in.

McCoy threw his clothes on in moments – it was one of those skills you mastered as a ship's surgeon – before striding through the door with an appropriately annoyed expression. "I got all bashful the last time you popped my door open while I was dressing and three ensigns got an eyeful. You may be an exhibitionist, Jim, but I'm not."

Jim gave him a sly grin. "I think you've just gotten shy now that I'm in your fan club."

"If I had a fan club, Jim, and if you were in it, I wouldn't get shy; I'd get a restraining order."

The truth was that until recently he'd been a bit tickled by the fact that a good part of the crew, including Jim, seemed to think the coven was his fan club. Unfortunately that happy circumstance had taken a strange turn a few weeks ago when Jim had insinuated himself as a sort of 'honorary warlock'. God only knew what the rumor mill was making of that - McCoy certainly didn't want to, although the smirk Chapel wore every time Jim dropped by sickbay gave him a pretty good idea.

"Aw, you know you love me." Jim batted his eyelashes at him.

Bones scowled. "I may get a restraining order anyway."

"Then it's just as well you're not joining me for breakfast," Jim laughed.

McCoy widened his eyes at him. "Then why the Sam Hill did you just roust me outta my quarters?"

"Be-cause," Jim said, widening his own eyes. "You are going to have breakfast with the Chief and make sure he doesn't drop by our table and over hear anything."

"Right." Bones rolled his eyes as they entered the mess. In a classic example of no good deed going unpunished, the shiny object distracting Jim from dogging McCoy's private life was Sam's.

The coven had all come back from their spa day thoughtful but extremely tight-lipped about what they were thinking. It seemed that somewhere in the middle of drinks shared in a hot tub Giotto's friend Marshall had sounded like she had more than strictly friendly feelings toward him, but the coven couldn't decide what if anything to do with the information. That had changed when Sam had gotten a bit withdrawn after someone had contacted him about his late wife – not that he'd actually talked to anyone about it, but Jim had found out because the damn kid had decided to 'check on him'. And then McCoy had found out because Giotto had nearly strangled the intruder breaking into his quarters before realizing it was his Captain. (If hypos weren't so much easier, Bones would have been the next in line to throttle Jim for being an idiot).

Not long after the coven had collectively decided that giving 'Pop' a subtle nudge or two in potentially the right direction was worth a shot. Len hadn't necessarily disagreed with that, but Jim had somehow caught wind of the project and jumped in with both feet. Now Bones couldn't help wondering how long it was going to take before Jim managed to get choked again.

"Relax, Bones, he doesn't suspect a thing. And don't worry, I'm not usurping your fan club. When I'm over there, I'm practically an honorary chick." Jim gave him a cheeky grin and continued in a high falsetto. "You know you really do have a cute little ass."

"Oh God," Bones glanced heavenward. He might yet become the next senior officer to wring Jim's neck, but right now taking a tray of food and heading toward the back of the room seemed like the better part of valor.

Giotto was in his usual spot – back to the far wall, both doors in easy line of sight. It always struck McCoy as a little paranoid, but Sam insisted that a little paranoia was a healthy trait in Security Chief.

"Hey, Sam, mind some company?"

"Have a seat, Doc." Giotto nodded to a seat not quite in front of him. "So what's the coven up to today?"

"Considering how wrong I was last time, I wouldn't even hazard a guess." And it'd be just about worth my life to actually tell you.

Sam glanced over to where Jessy had just joined the rest of the group and hid a smile behind a sip of coffee. "Planning movie night I'd say."

McCoy nearly did a double take. If he hadn't seen Giotto's psi rating on his med file, he'd suspect the man could read minds. On the other hand, he did have a clear view of most of their faces. "Are you reading lips Sam?"

"Not at this distance," Sam chuckled. "But the Captain isn't exactly the king of subtle. I'm hoping I steered him toward action/adventure. If they go with a romantic comedy it's going to be hard not to laugh before we get through the title sequence."

Well, Jessy had figured that he'd probably caught on by now. McCoy shook his head. "You're completely onto them, aren't you?"

"Security Chief, remember?" Giotto grinned. "And I'm going to be really disappointed if Jessy hasn't figured that out by now."

"Yeah, she has, but she figures there must be a reason you haven't shut them down." McCoy shrugged. He certainly was not going to say that she was hoping it was because Sam was using the situation to work up to making a move on Denise.

"Good, because I normally wouldn't tolerant this sort of thing. However, unlike the last time, the Captain hasn't been climbing the walls during a mapping mission," Sam pursed his lips slightly. "And you were worried about what would happen once Jessy really got to know him. It seems like they're becoming pretty good friends working on this little project."

It was an effort not to let his jaw drop. The coven had been trying to get Sam and Denise together for close to two months and practically the whole time they'd been playing along in order to smooth a problem in Len's relationship with Jessy? Talk about wheels within wheels. "You're kidding."

"You have to admit that by now she should certainly have a pretty good idea of Kirk's concept of boundaries." Sam gave him a sympathetic smile. "Look, Starfleet is tough on relationships and keeping one under wraps on a ship can only work for so long. At some point you have to decide either that there's a fair chance it's going to work and you might as well come out about it or that it won't and you might as well end it quietly and amicably."

"I, um," McCoy was suddenly uncomfortably reminded of being asked what his intentions were toward someone's daughter. "I guess I have to admit that if she can put up with Jim, I'm left having to face the question of whether I think she can put up with me."

Sam held up a hand. "I wasn't asking which way that was going with the two of you, although I'd say that if she managed to get you up to snuff on combat training, she's able to put up with a lot. But you should consider discussing it with her, because I'm not putting up with this," he nodded toward the group conspiring a few tables over, "for too much longer."

"Okay," McCoy shook his head trying to clear a mental case of whiplash. "I don't think I've ever heard of a nicer double-cross, but -"

"Look, I'm not giving in on refusing to be called 'Pop', but I do want Jessy to be happy." Sam grinned a little. "Besides Denise enjoys a good conspiracy, so it's been kind of fun."

Which is another reason you should be using this thing to take a shot at being happy too, you ornery old goat. McCoy bit his tongue. If Sam hadn't taken that step by now there had to be a reason, but he couldn't help feeling like he was in the middle of some odd father-daughter version of the Gift of the Magi. And Jim was in it too - calling him off might not be as easy as Sam thought.

"I guess I should think about how to tell Jim," Bones sighed. The kid would be even more impossible if he figured it out on his own.

"You've probably got a little more time. There's at least one more major distraction likely to come up before he gets back to puzzling over what's going on in your life." Sam leaned back, watching the other table. "How do you think Kirk would do at officiating a wedding?"

This time McCoy's jaw did drop. The story of how Giotto had caught Pike flatfooted with that request was pretty well known. Surely...

"Oh, that's good, Doc," he laughed. "If the Captain's expression turns out to be anything like yours, I'm going to have to make sure someone gets a picture."

"Dammit, Sam, just how long have you and Denise not needed fixing up?"

Sam raised his eyebrows. "I don't recall saying anything at all about me, or Denise for that matter. There are several couples on this ship and you and Jessy aren't the only ones flying cloaked." He glanced at his PADD and stood to leave. "Well, I've got sims to run. Don't tell Kirk. It would be a shame to spoil the surprise."

"Wait, what-"

"Oh, one other thing," Giotto paused thoughtfully. "There's a recipe for Andalucian paella I've been trying to get out of Julia's aunt since we were both cadets. I'd appreciate it if you could try to drop a hint that that might be the way to my heart." He winked and walked away.

McCoy just stared after him. Being able to run gambits was part of the job description, but the conniving old fox had more stuff up his sleeve that a whole convention full of magicians ...or maybe it was more smoke and mirrors... Len was trying to untangle the threads when Jim dropped into the chair beside him.

"You look like you're onto something Bones," Jim cracked a conspiratorial grin. "What have you got?"

Bones looked into blue eyes twinkling with anticipation. What to say? Sam and Denise are both completely onto to you but have been letting this whole thing run for half a dozen reasons (most of which I am definitely not telling you), but one of them may or may not be that they're already together and they (or someone else) may or may not surprise the hell the out of you pretty soon - oh and by the way, was there ever a lecture on how a Captain performs a wedding ceremony in any of those command classes you took?

Nah. Not only was he not sure of anything right now, but if there was one thing he'd learned during his generally disastrous relationship history it was to avoid getting on the wrong side of someone a woman looked up to. That went double when the person in question (a) was trying to help you and (b) could kill you.

Bones shrugged. "I don't know that it's much help, Jim, but it sounds like he's got a soft spot for someone who can make a good paella."

AN: At this point the story has to interact a bit with the one it spun off from, but I hope I've done a reasonable job of providing enough pieces for it to stand alone. The proverb says that tangled webs are a problem when you first practice deception, but Giotto's been a Security Chief for years, so he's had time to get good at it.

Wedding bells in the next chapter...

Please r&r (or send paella)