Doofenshmirtz Holiday Pet Peeves Chapter 7: Easter, a phineas and ferb fanfic

Disclaimer: Phineas and Ferb is property of Dan Povenmire, Jeff 'Swampy' Marsh & Disney. Story elements from Scott Peterson.

Welcome back to DHPP (that's Doofenshmirtz Holiday Pet Peeves by the way) and after filling up on the holiday spirit while away with my family, I bring you the seventh instalment. If you're wondering about the 'Scott Peterson' bit, part of this story comes from his 'The Easter Eggs-travaganza'. While it was good, I thought I'd fix it up. This story is a sequel of sorts and flashes back to that story which I've adapted slightly while remaining faithful to the source material. I thought that I could tie this DHPP to that story instead of completely ignoring it. That being said, don't get too comfortable.

If you enjoyed this and want to see more like it, feel free to review or, if you're lazy or just can't be bothered, at least follow it.

It was another beautiful day in Danville as the sun rose on what seemed to be the perfect Easter day. Phineas and his friends were sat under the tree in the backyard, sharing the Easter eggs they had found with each other when Linda and Laurence appeared from the house with Candace in tow, each dressed in their fanciest outfits.

"See you later boys, we're off to the antiques store for the annual Easter Sale-a-palooza" said Laurence as he waved goodbye to the boys and their friends.

"See you later, dad. Same time?" asked Phineas.

"Same time" replied his dad.

"Explain to me two things; why do I have to do this again and why do I need to wear this?" asked Candace in frustration.

"Because you were so good at it last time. Bye boys!" said Linda as she too waved goodbye.

"Bye mom!" replied Phineas. As their parents and Candace left, Phineas and the gang returned to their Easter eggs.

"So, what should we do today?" asked Isabella.

"Well, we could always…" began Baljeet.

"I already told ya, we aint going to the Danville Easter Pageant!" exclaimed Buford.

"Hey guys? Remember when we put on that high-octane, rock and roll, Easter 'Eggs-travaganza?"

"Oh yeah, I had almost forgot about that. That was so fun" said Isabella adoringly as she gazed at Phineas.

"I say we do it again, but this time bigger, better… um…"

"More eggs?" added Ferb.

"Yeah, come on guys Perry can help us set up. Hey, where is Perry?"

No-one had noticed but Perry had slipped away again. He had made his way to Danville Park where, after rooting around in the bushes, he found an Easter egg. He simply opened up the top of the egg and jumped inside, the top of the Easter egg closing as he did. As soon as the top closed, the bushes were pushed apart by local 'Ball pit Kid', Balthazar Horowitz, who proceeded to pick the egg up and continue searching for more eggs with the rest of the kids in Danville. At a nearby lake, Agent D and his partner were waiting on their last of their clutch of eggs to hatch. The egg in the nest began to twitch and shiver and before long, it hatched. The two ducks looked on, stunned as Perry tipped his hat and jumped out of the nest and into the lake. As he left, Agent D began to quack angrily at his partner who responded in kind. Perry swam deep into the lake and towards a large rock formation. As he approached, a small light appeared on the rock and shot a laser at Perry. Perry kept swimming as the laser scanned the code on his fedora. As Perry, who was inches away, picked up the pace a small door opened up on the rock formation, one that Perry promptly swam towards. He entered the rock formation, which served as Agent D's lair, and closed the secret door before heading inside. After heading down three elevators, four corridors and two security checks, he entered Agent D's mission room where Major Monogram appeared on the huge monitor.

"Ah, Agent D, welcome. It seems that Dr Bloodpudding is working on a…" Major Monogram stopped as he looked up from his piece of paper to see Perry sitting in agent D's chair. "Um… Carl, why is Agent P here?" he asked Carl, hiding his face with his sheet of paper.

"Don't you remember, sir? Agent P's lair is being prepped for fumigation" explained Carl, off camera.

"Oh… oh right. Sorry 'bout that Agent P. I totally forgot. We would get it done sooner but the only Agents we have on site are, um… pests. You know, the rats, the cockroaches, the owls…" he looked down and saw Perry giving him a stern look. "What? Trust me, owls will become a problem in the future…"

"Sir, remember 'Animal Sensitivity'?" pleaded Carl. Major Monogram became wide eyed as he looked at Perry who seemed to be taking offense.

"Oh… um… Doofenshmirtz! Go stop him!" blurted Major Monogram quickly before ducking underneath the camera. Perry rolled his eyes and walked out of the room to stop Doof. "Is… is he gone?" asked Major Monogram, still hiding. Carl walked over and looked through the camera.

"Yep. Well I say you did a fine job of insulting the fumigation team"

"Yes… well, tell them to take a shower sometime. I can smell them from here" complained Major Monogram, who stood up and brushed himself off.

"Sir, that's you" replied Carl, bluntly. Major Monogram lifted his arm and took a quick sniff of his armpit.

"Yeah, I probably deserved that" he said, walking off camera to go and shower.

Perry made his way up to Doof's apartment and kicked down the door to reveal the room totally dark. Perry adjusted his fedora and slowly walked inside. Only some lights on Doof's machinery was lit giving an eerie feel to the room. As Perry heard movement to his left, he was too late to react to Doof's trap. As the lights suddenly turned back on, Doof pulled a lever on the floor, causing a mechanical arm holding an Easter basket to slam down, trapping Perry in a special Easter egg.

"Ah, Perry the Platypus, how expected, and by expected I mean 'Egg-spected' of course because it's Easter; the most 'eggs-travagant' holiday of the year" said Doof as he made his way over to Perry. "Ooh I'm sooo 'egg-cited'!" Perry gave him a look as if to say he had heard these 'jokes' before. "Okay, one more. Oh, Perry the Platypus, you look 'egg-hausted'; I should run you an 'egg-stra' warm bath… with a selection of bath salts." Doof stopped as he saw the confused look on Perry's face. "What? Weren't you 'egg-ucated'? Oh yeah baby, I'm on a roll!" he said jumping in glee. "I see you've noticed you're trapped in a giant Easter basket? Yeah, I know I used that last year but, I really think I hit the nail with the hammer, or however that saying goes, with last year's Easter scheme." He stopped again after seeing Perry still confused.

"What? Are you telling me you don't remember last year? The Easter basket trap, my Easter bunny costume, my humiliating defeat at the hands of a cannon ? You don't remember any of that?" Perry shook his head, smiling. "And I thought I knew you, okay, I'm willing to go through it all so long as you get me an Easter egg and not one of those cheap store brand eggs, the popular ones. Deal?" Perry shook his head in response and Doof sat down next to him. "Okay, so like a year ago, you busted through my roof but before you could move, I had activated my trap, confining you to your Easter basket prison and I said…"

"Happy Easter, Perry the Platypus!" Doof cried as he pulled a lever on the floor. Before Perry could react, he was trapped in an Easter basket. "Today, Perry the Platypus, I have a very special scheme so there's no time for a backstory" said Doof as he dragged a cardboard box over. As he opened it, Perry chattered to him, causing him to stop. "Okay fine, but I'm gonna be a bit behind. So, while looking through a book of mythology entitled 'Once upon a time: Fairy tales for kids and mad scientists'." Perry looked at him in disbelief. "I know I'm not a 'mad' scientist but it was on sale, don't judge me" he said, holding up the aforementioned book. "Anyway, I learned of an 'Easter Bunny', a mutated man-rabbit-thing that hides chocolate eggs for kids to find. I don't know why you love him so much, I mean hiding chocolate eggs in the middle of spring? Anyway, the real issue is that this guy is lounging around for 364 days of the year but today, without fail, he shows up and you love him for it. This year however, I'm going to dress like him and take his place before he shows up. As the Easter Bunny, I'll easily gain access to City hall and, then, the TRI-STATE AREA!" Doof then dug in his box and pulled out a pink, fussy, bunny costume as Perry looked on, slightly scared, slightly amused.

"Ah man, all this backstory is making me parched. Do you want a soda, Perry the Platypus?" asked Doof as he moistened his mouth. As Perry fumbled around in his trap, he managed to pull out his wallet. "Oh, oh no, this is my treat, Perry the Platypus. I… I feel like I owe you. Not… sure why… Anyway, I'll be right back. Be right back everybody! Seriously, don't go to another tab! Really. Just… just… bear with me. I know it's gonna be boring without me on your screen but, we can't have everything, right?"

...

"…and so anyway, I said what about my needs and so she… Oh, what… your back? Man, where were you? You didn't click on another tab, did you? It's okay, you can tell me if you did. I'm sorry, wh…" Before Doof could continue, Perry chattered, knocking him out of his monologue. "Wha… what? Who am I talking to? Th… those guys" said Doof pointing to his laptop where numerous members of L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N were watching. "I'm really surprised you didn't see that until now. Oh, I never asked, how are you guys?"

"The only reason I'm here is because you hacked my computer and I don't know how to work this thing" complained Rodney.

"I'm not talking to you! I'm talking to them" said Doof, pointing out of their view.

"Who?"

"Them! They're reading this!"

"I'm… not seeing it" added Dr Diminutive.

"Ugh… Them!" said Doof as he spun the laptop around to face a bunch of kids reading 'Once upon a time: Fairy tales for kids and mad scientists'. Perry chattered towards Doof again, once again turning his attention back to his story. "O… okay… enough fourth wall teasing… I get it. Anyway, continuing, I was on my way to city hall with you and you made that "digga digga digga digga" sound you do and so I said…"

"I know, you wouldn't think of it in this weather but this is actually pretty comfortable" replied Doof walking down the street in his bunny costume, holding the Easter basket trap in his hands, with Perry still trapped in it. Doof was marching proudly towards city hall, not noticing the increasing number of kids following him. Doof soon reached the steps of city hall. He took one last look at the Tri-State Area as soon he would become its ruler. He turned around and placed his foot on the first step leading to City Hall's doors. As he did he was soon surrounded by kids. Some wanted eggs, others wanted an autograph. One little girl even wanted to see him hop. As Doof was distracted by the sheer number of kids surrounding him, Perry used all his strength and cracked the Easter egg he was trapped in, in half. "I think I underestimated the demands of being a bunny… on Easter" Doof groaned. Meanwhile, as the top of city hall, a certain someone had his own demands to make.

"Okay, okay now… here, have an egg" said Doof pulling out an egg from his basket. As the kids began to gang up on him, Doof, in panic, threw the basket away to the side of City Hall. The kids soon followed it and Doof was left alone once more. "Ah, thank the Easter Bunny that's over. Now to walk into city hall, look my brother straight in the eye and… Wait… I just realised that this scheme is really far-fetched. I mean, more far-fetched than usual." As Doof rubbed his head and began to think how this would help with his Tri-State Area domination, he ascended the staircase. As he was deep in thought, he bumped right into Buford who didn't move an inch. "Oh sorry abou… wait… don't I know you?" he asked.

"No, but I know you" replied Buford before grabbing Doof's costume. "You're coming with me." Buford then, effortlessly, dragged Doof over to Phineas' back yard. At first, Doof struggled to escape his grip but after being dragged for over 20 minutes, he just gave up. As the two approached the backyard, a huge crowd came into view all rocking out to the sound of Jeremy and the Incidentals, who were up on stage. As Buford took Doof around the back of the stage, Candace arrived wearing a summery blue dress with yellow flowers on it.

"Ooh, this is sooo bustworthy!" she yelled, marvelling at the crowd, the noise and the one weird guy on stilts. As she pulled out her phone to call her mom, she noticed Jeremy on stage. "Damn, come on Candace, you can wait" she said to herself as she waited until Jeremy clear of the bust-zone. Backstage, Buford had stood Doof behind the stage curtains.

"Wait for your cue, fuzz ball. I'm going to get a snow cone" stated Buford, letting go of Doof's costume. As he stomped off, Doof immediately began to dust himself off.

"I'm trying to be a maniacal leader, not some lame kiddie entertainer!" complained Doof, who was adjusting his costume, in particular, one bent ear. "I'm out of here!" But, before he could leave, Perry dropped down from the rafters. "Perry the platypus, you escaped again!?" Doof yelled in shock, not noticing that Perry escaped a while ago. Before he could react, Perry swung down on a rope and knocked down Doof with a swinging kick. As the two fought backstage, Candace made her way on stage. As Phineas and Ferb was about to announce a very special guest, Candace interrupted them.

"If Jeremy's done playing, then I'm sending mom a picture of you guys at this crazy festival in our backyard. Then you'll both be busted!" yelled Candace, pulling out her phone once more. Just a few feet behind them, concealed by a curtain, Doof and Perry were still locked in epic combat. As Doof would throw punches at Perry, his bunny costume made it exceedingly difficult to maneuverer and so Perry would dodge every one. Just as Doof missed another punch, Perry jumped up and delivered another kick, the momentum of which knocked him back right into the barrel of a cannon filled with confetti.

"Oh, this can't be good" Doof groaned.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," Phineas began on the microphone, "give it up for our special guest; the Easter Bunny!" As the curtains began to open, Perry lit a match and lit the fuse on the cannon. Candace brought up the camera application on her phone and was waiting for a clear shot of Phineas, Ferb and the festival.

"Wait… wait, no Perry the Platypus! No!" yelled Doof as the cannon soon fired, spraying the crowd with confetti and launching Doof high over the festival. As he flew over their heads, all the kids cheered. Candace, startled by the bang of the cannon, accidently snapped a photo but not before her phone left her hands and lost itself within the crowd.

At the Antiques store, Linda and Laurence were standing idly and staring at the door, waiting for their first customer of the day, and they had been open for hours. As Linda started to drift off to sleep, her phone began to bleep, waking her up. As she opened her phone, she saw she had gotten a message from Candace. As she opened it she saw a picture was attached. It was a picture of Doof as the Easter Bunny, flying into the air.

"Well, it sure looks like Candace is having a good Easter" she remarked.

"Yes, but it seems that our store isn't. I suppose there's no reason to stay open without any customers" added Laurence.

"You know, I think this would have gone a lot better with an –inator" remarked Doof as he flew across the Danville skyline. Unknown to him, Phineas and his friends had gotten everyone to follow him across town.

"Is that everything done?" asked Laurence.

"Yep, I guess we can see what the kids are up to" said Linda who had just finished making sure that the shop was ready to close. The two walked outside and, just as Laurence was about to close the doors, he spotted a crowd heading towards the store.

"Phineas? Ferb?" questioned Laurence as he saw them heading the crowd.

"We're following the flying Easter Bunny!" yelled Phineas, pointing towards the roof where Doof was about to land.

"Oh, he fly's now? Oh well… good for him" Laurence remarked. "Linda, can you check on the fine chap while I get the store ready again?"

"Sure dear" she replied before heading inside to get to the roof.

"If you would all just give us a few moments, we'll be open again shortly!" announced Laurence to the crowd before heading inside. As Linda made her way to the roof, she saw the 'Easter Bunny' lying down and rubbing his head. She soon rushed over.

"Are… are you okay?" she said moving in front of him.

"So… so many… children" said Doof, shivering.

"Yes I know, they can be a handful…"

"No… so many children… to make happy. I love it!" shouted Doof enthusiastically as he shot up and ran down to the shop floor to bring Easter cheer.

" … I doubt you even care, but you know how long it took me to remember who I was? Huh? Two months! You know, those two months they said I was 'Away on business? Yeah, that was a lie. Sorry. It's a good thing I ran into Vanessa, you know, while I still thought I was the Easter Bunny. I might have lost it for real if she didn't persuade Charlene to refer me to a psychologist… among other things…" As Perry, L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N and the group of school kids looked on; Doof stood up and corrected his posture in an attempt to seem mighty. "Anyway so, to summarise, this year there will not be any bullies, there will not be any cannon and there will definitely not be any Perry the Platypus! I will rule the Tri-State Area and all the citizens of Danville will soon tremble at my feet!" As he was about to use his signature maniacal laugh, he looked over to the cardboard box next to him, the Easter Bunny costume sticking out. "My… huge… pink… bunny feet" he said in realisation that, he would rule but as a giant pink bunny.

"Hmm… there's something I'm missing here, isn't there…" began Doof as he felt that something was off. As he looked all around the room, he couldn't see anything odd but he could feel it. It was like something was coming, something all too familiar. As he turned back to Perry, he failed to notice that Perry was now leaning up against the outside of the basket, waiting for Doof to catch on. "Do you have any ideas, Perry the Platypus?" Doof asked. Perry sighed and proceeded to leap towards Doof to deliver a flying kick, sending Doof straight into the barrel of cannon.

"Wait... wait, who put this here!? Where did this even come from!?" exclaimed Doof in horror as he looked towards Perry who had a huge smile on his face. "No, no stay back Perry the Platypus! No, not again!"

"Hey guys, I've figured out how to get off this thing! Just try 'Ctrl,Alt,Del'" exclaimed Rodney.

"Yeah sure just… let me watch this first" replied Dr Diminutive as he watched Perry approach the cannon. Multiple other L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N members agreed with him and all sat and watched eagerly for Doof's impending foiling.

"Hmm… I could patent that" stated Rodney, no-one heard him though as Perry pulled out a match box, lit one and proceeded to light the fuse.

"What is it with me and cannons" remarked Doof as Perry flipped the cannon up towards the sky before it fired, sending Doof straight through the ceiling. As Perry looked up in triumph, the school kids and the L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N members began to applaud and cheer. Perry smiled, in slight embarrassment and tipped his hat before calling his hover transport to take him back to the O.W.C.A to report back. As Perry flew back, so did Doof, back down to DEI. As he fell back through the hole in the roof, he fell through, head first but got stuck around his waist, keeping his arms trapped.

"Good going, Heinz!" remarked Rodney as the other members of L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N laughed in sheer joy.

"Yeah, shut up Rodney!" yelled Doof back before all the L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N members disappeared from the screen. "Ugh, I can tell this is going to go viral" remarked Doof as the front opened.

"Hey, Dad I'm… Dad?" said Vanessa, looking at first the cannon and then her dad, stuck in the hole in the wall. "Platypus?"

"Platypus" he replied bluntly.

"Yeah well, thank for looking after the kids for me. I know I was supposed to be training but I had to go out and get those shoes"

"Yeah, don't mention it honey" replied Doof, sounding worn-out for the day.

"So, how did you like it with my dad?" said Vanessa, dropping her shopping bags down on the table.

"Boring" replied the youngest kid.

"Terrible" replied the youngest kid's sister.

"Mind numbing" replied the oldest.

"Oh, until that Platypus in the hat beat him up!" shouted the youngest kid's sister. The other kids exclaimed in agreement.

"Why do I need to do this all the time? Be bested by a Platypus. It's not a job… and I don't believe in 'destiny'. Can't I just get one holiday off!? Hmm… if there was only some way to effectively stop every holiday at once. Hmm... Wait… Oh… oh oh oh, that's good! Why didn't I think of that before!?" In his excitement, he managed to dislodge himself from the hole and dropped, ungraciously, to the floor. However that didn't faze him one bit. "Oh, enjoy this victory, Perry the Platypus for soon; I will be the one having … the last… laugh?" Is that how you say it?"

"Dad, I'm not getting caught up in another one of your schemes" said Vanessa, taking out her new shoes from her bag.

"Are you sure? It's a good one!" he squealed in excitement.

"I'm sure" she replied with a smile.

"I think that's enough eggs for me. I don't want to take them all" remarked Balthazar as he put his last egg in his basket. As he made his way back to his parents, one of his eggs started shaking. As he saw it, he began to grow excited. The Easter Bunny usually placed chocolate eggs but, this time; there was a real Easter egg. He ran into the bushes to hide it from the other kids and watched attentively, as his egg 'hatched' into… whatever comes from Easter eggs. The egg shook more and more and more until finally it opened. However, nothing broke its way free, the top of the egg simply opened. Just as Balthazar was going to look inside, Perry popped his head out to see Balthazar looking at him, confused. "A Platypus? Did the Easter Bunny mix up a chocolate egg for your e… Wait a minute…. Don't I know you?" Perry replied with placing his finger over his lips and shushing him before giving him an Easter egg he took from Doof's before leaving. "Huh… weird" Balthazar said out loud before gladly accepting the egg and returning to his parents.

"That was awesome! I can't believe we got Love Handel to play!" squealed Isabella as she walked with Phineas and the gang toward the Antiques shop.

"Yeah well, they did owe us a favour" replied Phineas.

"Exactly how many favours do those guys owe you again?" asked Buford sarcastically.

"Well, I think I made a great Easter Bunny" proudly stated Baljeet.

"Yeah, good thing Ferb had that spare costume lying around" replied Phineas, while Ferb responded by giving Baljeet a thumbs up.

"I still say I should have been the Easter Bunny!" shouted Buford.

"You know who was a great Easter Bunny, that guy from last year" remarked Phineas.

"Yeah, did anyone get his name?" asked Isabella to be met with a series of blank faces. "Buford? How did you not get his name? You're the one who got him"

"Let's just say not many words were used in retrieving him" Buford said, looking proud of himself. As Isabella was going to continue arguing with Buford, all of them stopped as they saw Candace running towards them.

"Wait…you're here!?" she asked loudly.

"Uh… last time I checked, yeah"

"So I missed it!?" she asked, slightly quieter.

"The concert? Yes, sorry you could not be there Candace" replied Baljeet.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" she yelled, dropping on her knees and waving her fists in the air.

"How dramatic" Buford remarked as Candace began to sob. As Candace was wrapped up in her melodramatic moment, Perry scuttled from the bushes and towards Phineas, nudging him gently on the leg.

"Oh, there you are Perry. And how was your day?" asked Phineas to which Perry chattered in response. "Yeah, it's been a pretty good day but I can't wait for summer. It's right around the corner and I bet it's going to be the most exciting, rockin' and explosive summer yet!" As the gang rushed off to the Antiques store, Perry couldn't feel that bit un-nerved. Something was going to happen, he felt it. He didn't know what but, soon, something big was going to go down.

Remember when I said "Don't get comfortable"? Yeah, well don't as, next time; Doof and Perry battle for the fate of summer and the fate of Doofenshmirtz Holiday Pet Peeves in the gripping finale of 'DHPP: Summer... lasts forever?', coming soon to a screen near you!