Hello, dear readers. I apologize for my lack of updating. I just recently got internet in my new apartment, and final exams are creeping up on me. I'll try to update when I can, so thank you for your patience. Lyrics are mine unless otherwise indicated.
Merlin couldn't even hear himself think over the screams of the crowd. Along Avalon had done a bang-up job getting the audience pumped.
"Good evening!" Gwaine yelled into the mic, "Are you having a good time?"
The crowd roared as a response.
Merlin sat down behind the drums and adjusted the microphone so it was closer to his mouth.
"Give it up for Along Avalon," he practically ordered them. The audience obeyed by screaming their heads off. When Merlin Emrys requested something, legions of fangirls and boys alike obeyed.
"They are fantastic," Freya added, earning a few hoots from the crowd, as well as a man screaming 'I BLOODY LOVE YOU, FREYA'. Freya grinned at that, and Lancelot rolled his eyes as discreetly as possible.
"Are you ready?" Will spoke into the microphone, ignoring the scowl forming on Lancelot's face. He'd tease him later. Right now they had a concert to get on with.
More cheering.
Merlin started the countdown by hitting his drumsticks together before the opening strains of 'Castle by the Sea' started emanating from the guitars, bass, and keys.
"Washed up on the sand, open my eyes and see a castle by the sea/can't believe it's real or know how to feel/it was our destiny to live…" Merlin's voice trailed off.
"Could see your soul in my mind/but you left me high, you left me dry/my knees were weak, my eyes were blind/I should've known I'd get left behind," Freya's voice joined his, and the boys added back up vocals.
"The castle by the sea was our destiny/me and you, you and me/you'd be a queen and I'd be a king," Lancelot's voice, a low rumble, became stronger as Merlin's voice faded away, "or a white knight waiting 'neath a tower with a ring/I'd climb the walls just to see your face/knowing my place was"
"With you," Freya and Lancelot sang together in hushed tones before Merlin took up the majority of the lyrics.
"Hand intertwined with yours/we ventured over mountains and valleys and we settled for the sea/but death took you away from me/my love, my life, my reason to be/buried beneath the castle by the sea."
"Now you haunt my dreams/you roam the halls/I promise you I won't go far/I wait and wait for my time to come/to join you in the waters/I'll run," Lancelot sang into the microphone, fingers strumming the bass strings.
"I'll run to you, right into your arms/the water pouring over your face and your lungs/'neath the deck it's not so bad/icy cold and hands so warm/we'll find our castle in the sea after all…"
Freya sang, and then Merlin's voice joined hers.
Once the song ended, the crowd could hardly contain themselves. I LOVE YOUs and WILL YOU MARRY MEs were heard interjected with the screams and shouts, and actual tears of the fans who had been moved by the song.
"This one's called 'Princess of Thieves'," Will said into the microphone.
"Act like a lady, hold your tongue/a match will never be made if you act so young," Freya sang in that soft, high voice of hers, "You'll be a lady of a castle, a princess of the keep/they promised me a lord husband and castle to hold/but I've always been a bit too bold"
"The bell tolled in the night/for she had escaped her doom/by shimmying out a window and leaving her room/her lady mother screamed, her lord father chuckled/his girl was a princess alright, the princess of thieves/for she'd taken her gold/she'd taken her jewels/she'd sold them all and used them all to buy a horse, some armour, and a sword," Merlin sang with a little chuckle. This was a lighter, more upbeat song, which was necessary after the sombre opening song.
"I fought my way through the woods/warding off pirates/and crooks/and the lord, he came after me, trying to put me in my place/I stuck the lance through his heart and left him a handkerchief of lace/I stole his bag of gold/and gave it to the poor to hold/ the princess of thieves they called me/wouldn't mother be so proud?"
The song went on, regaling the audience with the exploits of the princess of thieves who stole from the rich and gave to the poor peasants and pirates. She sailed the high seas and captained a ship, for she was the princess of thieves.
"How are you feeling?" Gwaine asked while Merlin and Freya took drinks of water between songs.
Roars and cheers, per usual.
"I don't think they're feeling well," Will shook his head.
"A bit more enthusiasm, please," Lancelot requested, earning more applause and 'woos'.
"This one's called 'Not Goodbye'," Merlin said quietly, and the crowd instantly quieted.
"Sing along if you know the words," Freya encouraged.
"Red, orange, yellow, the leaves beneath our feet/the water rushes in the creek/a gloved hand in mine/and a smile on your face/so close I could count the freckles…/I held you tight and kissed you once/you looked away, then held my hand/but it was long ago/and we said goodbye/gone with the autumn/gone on with our lives," Merlin sang.
"But it was not goodbye, you're in my heart/I won't forget love from the start," Merlin beamed upon hearing the audience sing along. Sometimes the pain was worth it, if it meant it could resonate with others. At least, that's the reasoning he told himself whenever he was struggling to write how he felt.
"Now and then I think of you/the red of your hair/the yellow of the sun/the orange of that hideous jumper you insisted upon/but the memories fade and I can't recall/were we apart in the winter or the fall?/We said farewell in our secluded spot/where no one could find us/we were leaving home/tell me, do you still think of…no, forget it, I'd rather not know/because I said farewell, but you said goodbye/it wasn't meant to be the end, why didn't you try/to fix this, the distance between us?/was I not enough?
"I know I was not attentive/I was not brilliant or witty or clever like the others/I could only hold your hand/as you drifted away from me/like a twig in the river/so eagerly/it was not goodbye/but it was the end/a new beginning for us both/at the end of the day it's for the best/because you loved me not/and me, I knew not how to love/just children, we were playing at being grown-up…"
Their set went on with more of their songs from both albums. Merlin was still always surprised and enthused when the audience started singing along, or banging their heads to Gwaine's guitar solos or Will's piano solos.
They went into 'Haunted', a song from their second album, and the crowd remained still as Merlin sang.
"A ghost that follows me/through the corridors/see you in an empty room/and I'm haunted/by your ghost, by your smile, by the perfume you wore/and I'm haunted by your spirit, darling/You didn't realize the mess you made/with broken bottles and empty hearts/You let me go, and so I left you/but you're a ghost that follows me/wherever I go/I see your face/no matter where or when/please, my dear, my darlin'/why'd you have to go/and leave such a mess/picking up the pieces of what's left of my heart/don't know if I can put it back together now that we're apart/oh let's go back to the start/before we fell out of love/out of time/you haunt me in my dreams/haunt me when I'm awake/please just leave me be/I can't take the strain/or any more of this pain/love, you've haunted me for too long/my love, stop haunting me…"
The crowd burst into applause, having been silent the entire time Merlin was singing. It had just been him standing in front of the microphone, Freya on her acoustic guitar and Will on the keyboards. Merlin smiled faintly at the reaction and moved back to his drum kit. That was the one song that seemed to take the most of his energy.
They ended with 'Remember Me', a song off of their second album which had proven to be a crowd pleaser.
Freya's voice was perfect for the song—sweet and a bit melancholy. It was sort of the other side of 'Castle by the Sea' from the first album. While the two characters were reunited in Castle, in Remember Me the lost boy never returns to his drowned love. Maybe their second album had been a bit of a downer, as a few reviews had said.
"In the water I wait/and centuries pass/do you remember me or do I remain in the past?"
"The pale girl with dark hair, hollow eyes and empty smile/the broken girl who fell from the castle's seaside tower/she's lost and he won't be found," Merlin's voice joined hers.
"Love, it's never easy/you didn't stay but did you remember me…"
Once the song was finished, Merlin hit the drumsticks against the cymbals quickly.
"Thank you Aberdeen!" Gwaine shouted into microphone.
"You've been a wonderful audience!" Freya yelled enthusiastically.
"We hope to see you again tomorrow," Lancelot added politely.
"And goodnight!" Will stood from the keyboard, shouting, pumping his fists into the air.
"Have a safe drive home and goodnight!" Merlin added finally, listening to the screams.
He'd never get used to that: the screams and the adoring fans and the sold-out concert halls. It was madness, pure madness. But that was his life and he'd take it. He smiled, standing up. He waved his arm in farewell, and held up the drumsticks. Gwaine was blowing kisses towards the audience, and Will was pushing him aside, waving and flashing the peace sign at them. Lancelot waved, a bit shyly, and Freya waved both her hands to the audience, a bit child-like.
Merlin nearly collided with Morgana as he walked backstage. He was sweaty and tired and his throat was sore. His hands grabbed her arms to steady her and her fingers clutched at his shoulders to keep her balance.
"Hey," she said, "you guys were amazing."
"Thanks," he sounded breathless. Morgana chalked it up to having just sung his arse off.
She let go of his shirt and Merlin noticed she'd shed the long-sleeved top in favour of a purple tank top. Merlin let go of her bare elbows and he coughed uncomfortably. The last time he'd touched her things had gotten incredibly awkward, and he blamed himself.
"You guys were really fantastic, too," Merlin said after a moment of silence.
"Thanks," she looked down and bit her lip.
"I need to go get changed," Merlin said, "see you around?"
"Yeah. I'll just be in my room," Morgana offered a strained smile.
Merlin nodded and walked away. Morgana nearly banged her head against the wall. She was acting like a silly fan. She wasn't a fan. She was a serious musician who also happened to be stunned at the sheer amount of talent one man could possess.
She had never seen Last Dragonlord perform, at least, not live. She had watched them from home on the telly when they performed at the Brit Awards two years ago, but that was it.
When they were done with their set, Morgause and Nimueh had retreated to their respective rooms to relax and unwind as they had a sound check for the following morning. Morgana found herself lingering backstage, watching in awe and appreciation. Arthur had also been lurking behind the stage, watching nervously.
"Why are you so anxious?" Morgana had asked her old childhood friend.
"I'm always anxious when they're performing," Arthur had informed her, not even sparing a second glance.
Morgana's eyes hand followed his gaze and found that he was staring right at Merlin, whose arms moved wildly, his hair was a tangled mess of waves, and he was singing into the microphone as if he wasn't aware there even was an audience.
"I worry about him sometimes," Arthur had said finally, after the song had finished, "he gets so lost in the music or writing I think he forgets he needs to eat and sleep like a normal person."
"I can understand that," Morgana had told him.
"You two are a lot alike," Arthur had pursed his lips, "stubborn and incredibly driven. I still don't know why you two don't want to duet."
"Maybe we're too similar for that to work," Morgana had shrugged half-apologetically and continued to watch the performance.
She had shivered when Merlin sang 'Haunted'. She didn't know what or who it was about, but she had shivered and she had felt her eyes water of their own accord. It was the simplicity of the guitar, the keys, and Merlin's pained voice. Who broke Merlin Emrys? It was a mystery, she supposed.
Morgana placed her pillow over her face and screamed. She'd stripped herself of her performance clothes and had taken a shower. She wore a fluffy white robe, and a towel wrapped around her hair.
She had been on such a rush before, what with the performing, but now she was on her way back down. She was a bit buzzed on the high right until Merlin had crashed into her. Or she had crashed into him, depending on the perspective. She'd only wanted to get out of there before he realised she'd been watching them. Him. She didn't understand why she felt ridiculous every time she talked to him. She ended up rambling endlessly, as if an attempt to make him stay longer and talk with her—because he would. He was too damn polite to leave anyone mid-conversation.
She got off of her bed and rummaged through her overnight bag (she had left her stuff in the tour bus and didn't see why she should unpack for one night—they'd be leaving straight after their performance tomorrow) and pulled out a pair of cotton shorts and a tank top. She disrobed and put on her pyjamas. It was cold in Scotland, but her room was so warm and her shower had left her cheeks flushed and red.
It was nearing midnight and she was sure Morgause and Nimueh were already asleep. The Last Dragonlord members were bound to be winding down and drifting off to sleep, too. Putting out so much energy in such a short time frame was draining.
She didn't want to talk to her band mates right now, anyway. Nimueh had made an off-hand remark of the photo spread Morgana and Merlin had done as pretty damn hot, raised brow and all-knowing smirk in place. Morgause had narrowed her eyes and said something about needing to focus on their craft, then music, their livelihood. Alvarr was a misstep that Morgana had escaped from with relatively little consequence in the public eye. Morgana was even a bit better regarded since people felt bad she got dumped (cheated on), since thanks to a certain newspaper the masses knew the truth.
A relationship with Merlin, and inevitable breakup, would ruin them both. Sides would be taken. Uther would pitch a fit. She'd be accused of breaking the heart of the most sensitive, wonderfully polite man on the planet.
Morgana made a face. She didn't want a relationship with him anyway. Morgause was just going off on one of her big sister lectures.
Morgana grabbed the key to her room and slipped on her sandals. Maybe she'd be able to go to sleep after wandering the empty halls. Both bands were on the same floor of the hotel as not to disturb the other guests, and no one outside of the label even knew where they were staying. She didn't have to worry about paparazzi or anything. For the most part the press were respectful of them when they were on tour.
She walked from one end of the corridor to the other, then back again. She sighed and went to her room to pick up a pack of cigarettes and walked over to the window. She lit her cigarette and opened the window, leaning out. The cool evening air hit her and it only served to wake her more instead of getting her to sleep.
She looked around the dark nothing that seemed to encircle the area, save for some street lights and stray cars. She titled her head to find Merlin sitting in a window sill a few windows away, his window wide open. A cigarette dangled from thin fingers and he blew smoke out into the air. His head turned slowly, as if he sensed someone watching him. His lips quirked into a tiny, nearly imperceptible smile.
"Can't sleep."
He didn't even have to ask. He knew.
"Yeah," Morgana leaned a bit further out the window, "You too?"
"Always after a gig," Merlin answered.
Morgana moved back into the room, and Merlin frowned slightly, thinking she had disappeared. Instead she sat on the windowsill to face him, despite him being two windows away.
She brought a knee to her chest, leaving her other leg dangling off the edge.
They sat in their windows silently, smoking. The night was quiet and the air was cold. Morgana looked at Merlin curiously. He looked tired, like he had that night at the club, like Arthur had said. Maybe he was right to worry. She never thought Arthur could care so much about another human being. Before tonight she would've chalked it up to being about work. She would've been wrong. Merlin seemed to inspire devotion from everyone, especially Arthur. Maybe Merlin didn't show it as much as his manager, but he seemed devoted to Arthur as much as Arthur was to him. It must be nice to have such a close friend…many close friends. Morgana really only had Gwen. Lovely, perfect Gwen.
Merlin looked over at her and raised his brow upon finding her staring. She shook her head, about to ask him if he wanted to go for a walk outside.
"Want to come over?" Merlin asked suddenly. Even he looked surprised at the question.
That wasn't exactly what she had in mind, but she nodded.
"Room 407," Merlin said.
She knocked softly on the door and Merlin opened it. He was wearing sweatpants and a plain black tee shirt. He was wearing socks, and his hair looked a bit damp and curly.
"Hey," he greeted, though they spoke just two minutes ago.
"Merlin," Morgana nodded, brushing past him.
Huh. Their rooms looked the same. For once hers was tidy, and she suspected Merlin was always organized and clean. She looked at him and he had bags under his eyes that hadn't seemed to be there earlier that day.
A notebook was left on the bedside table with a pen. He had been writing, she realised. Of course, the notebook had been shut closed and she couldn't even guess what he was thinking.
"What helps you sleep when you're on such a high or excitement for the next performance?" she asked quietly, settling herself down on his bed.
Merlin leaned against the closed door, "I don't sleep."
She snorted. It was an option, but not exactly the best one.
He ran a hand through his hair. How was he supposed to be friends with her when she was so confusing and maddening and according to Arthur, too much like him? The only friends he had were from his younger days, and Lancelot and Arthur, but they'd known each other for years.
"I tried writing some more. It's not clicking," she said after a few moments of silence.
She glanced up at Merlin, who remained by the door. Her own hair was in tangles from her shower, Merlin's the same.
"I'd offer my assistance, but I've got writer's block…and I know you don't like showing people your songs," Merlin said, looking at his feet.
She was on his bed, legs crisscrossed. He didn't want her to be in his bed. Nope, not at all. No attraction towards her whatsoever. That magazine thing was a fluke, no matter how much Freya liked to tease. He didn't notice the curve of her chest under her shirt. Nope, not at all.
"How?" Morgana looked at him curiously.
"MTV interview from last year," he said, looking a bit embarrassed, "I didn't want to upset any of you since we're on tour, so I did my homework."
Morgana's eyes widened and she bit back a strangled word of admiration. She'd been wrong, so wrong. She'd just assumed he was a snob, but he wasn't. Not really.
"That sounds really weird. Sorry," Merlin added sheepishly.
"It's not weird at all," Morgana said, still staring at him, "I should've done the same."
"We got off on the wrong foot, didn't we?" Merlin asked with a smile that could only be described as self-deprecating. She knew the look well. She'd said much the same at Gwaine's party, and she was regretting her foul attitude. He seemingly regretted his cool civility, too.
Except she couldn't exactly call his hands on her leg cool. His touch had been so incredibly warm.
Morgana wondered why he wouldn't move from the door; she was the one imposing on him. They'd be out of there tomorrow night, tucked away in their own tour buses. The tour was maddeningly boring outside of actually performing. Morgause was wonderful, and Nimueh was kind to her, but the two of them were the friends. She still felt like the little sister tagging along on the big kids' adventures.
"We got past it," Morgana shrugged, "you guys really were great."
"Likewise," Merlin said.
Morgana shook her head, "Those were your fans, yours and Freya's and Will's and Lancelot's and Gwaine's."
"The screaming would insinuate otherwise," Merlin snorted.
"They were there for you, for you all," Morgana said, correcting herself. Screaming. Insinuate. She was making something out of nothing.
"Well tomorrow night, they'll be there for you," Merlin leaned his head back against the door.
She smiled and looked down.
"I'll never get used to that," she looked up at him.
"Me neither," he sighed and ran his hand through his hair.
What else could they talk about? Merlin remained by the door and she wondered if he was merely tolerating her for the sake of the tour and since he was just about the politest person she'd met in her entire life. She'd always wonder if her presence was welcome or if he was enduring her out of some sort of discipline his parents had instilled in him.
"I'm going to go see if I can get some sleep," Morgana said, feeling as if she'd overstayed her welcome.
She stood from his bed and walked over to the door. She opened her mouth to say something else, about getting her notebook and showing him what she had, then decided against it.
"Goodnight, Merlin," she said as he opened the door for her.
"I think you mean good morning," he half-smiled.
"Yeah, good morning," she bit her lip and made her way back to her room. That was becoming a thing, bidding each other farewell in the morning.
Please review and let me know what you think. I really appreciate it.