A Friday in Late July
The case from Winter Harbor was concluded. Harm did the best he could. There was no plea bargaining and his clients were going to suffer the consequences. He and Mac did not speak to each other since the day they got back. Everything was shuttled through their seconds.
With the exception of Mac, Harm was light and easy and nice to everyone. His outward appearance was happy and confident, but it was clear that his heart was no longer into it. Mac was the polar opposite. She has a sour expression on her face at all times and he was never seen without a smile.
Before the whole Winter Harbor mess, Mac met Jake Dawson from NCIS. He was one of the expert witnesses she interviewed when she was working on the Munoz case. When she didn't call him with a date to testify, he called her for a date for dinner. He was young, handsome, sexy as hell and he clearly liked her. It was nice to be noticed by a man – someone other than Harm. Mac had dinner with him a couple of times – to discuss that case and the new one from Winter Harbor. Near the end of the trial, Mac caught Harm talking to him. It was clear that they were not discussing the case and Mac assumed they were discussing her. She was not impressed. She saw them shake hands, Jake asked Harm one more question to which she thought she heard him reply 'go for it.' She was not happy with either Harm or Jake, but in true Mac form did not confront either one of them.
Immediately after that, Jake asked her away for the weekend. Mac panicked. She was not prepared to go that far, not yet. As nice as this guy was, he was still a stranger to her and she was still unsure if she accepted his invitations to prove to herself and anyone else that may have been paying attention that she was still a desirable woman or if she really liked him. Needless to say she turned Jake down for the weekend rendezvous. Instead they made plans to stay in town and take in a play or a game of some sort. Those plans got cancelled too.
The Next DayMac hadn't been feeling well and found herself very tearful for no apparent reason. There were other times when she was angry and frustrated and had no idea why or the reason did not warrant her level of reaction. She had snapped at Jennifer on more than one occasion that week and ripped a new one in the newest Gunny to be assigned to JAG. Bud and Sturgis gave her a wide berth. Jake had called again to see if she had changed her mind about the weekend. She stood and looked out the window as she again told him that she felt it was too soon for something like that. She was trying to be honest, but she was actually being brutal and mean.
Over by the side of the building, out of sight of anyone who was not in an upstairs window, were Harm and Jennifer Coates. They were clearly in a very serious discussion. Jennifer was upset and her arms were flailing making her points. Harm was nearly as animated trying to get her to calm down. After a moment or two of watching them, she saw Harm escort her to his car and put her in the passenger seat. He climbed in on the driver's side and just before pulling out, she was able to see that Harm pressed Jen's hand affectionately. From the angle she had, she clearly saw their two hands in her lap.
A shot of RAGE went through her. A rage that she didn't even know existed. How dare he? How dare he ruin his career like that? How dare he do that with Jennifer Coates? That was unacceptable and inexcusable – she was like a sister, a daughter to him. Irrational thoughts flashed through her mind, maybe he and Jennifer were having an affair all along, which was why he asked her to room with Mattie. Maybe it started after Mattie had left. Did Jennifer really move out or was that just a ploy to take suspicion off of them? Maybe it had been going on since Christmas along with all the other women he was 'dating.' Were they laughing at her? Did Harm and Jennifer Coates talk about her? Maybe he told her everything. He would pay for this. He would pay through the nose.
The first object of her anger was Jake. She cancelled all plans with him and told him that he was pushing too hard for too much too soon. It was not pretty. A few other people suffered from her ire, but they were enlisted and had no other alternative than to take it. Her rage had not subsided by time Harm returned. She was unable (not that she tried that hard) to convince herself that her assumptions were ridiculous.
"Just what the hell do you think you are doing?" She demanded from his open door.
He was in no mood to deal with her. "Go away, Mac."
"This isn't going away, Rabb." She lowered her voice. "Fraternizing with an enlisted female … a woman that looked up to you as a role model, a brother, a father figure." She could not read his expression. "That is a career ender."
"What the hell are you talking about?" He was really in no mood for her and could really understand what she was talking about.
"Coates."
Harm looked out to the bullpen. People had looked up when she said Jennifer's name. He pulled her into his office and closed the door. The blinds were already half closed.
"What are you talking about?"
"I know everything." She stated though she knew in her head she actually knew nothing – at least nothing that would stand up in court.
"Whatever it is you THINK you know, you're wrong?" He said clearly.
"Do you have any scruples, or are you morally bankrupt … do I even know you?"
"Apparently not." He said flatly. "So why don't we leave it at that?"
"I saw you two." She announced. "I saw you."
"I don't know what you saw." He shook his head. "But I can tell you this … neither do you."
"This is WRONG." She stated.
"This isn't about Jennifer, Mac. This is about you and me. You're pissed at me for moving on and you are pissed at yourself for thinking that I wouldn't."
The fire in her eyes should have set him ablaze. "Don't flatter yourself Rabb. This is misconduct and if the general -."
He cut her off. "Are you going to report this … this … this fantasy of yours?" He leaned in. "Go ahead … I dare you … try to ruin my career – but you are the one that is going to look desperate and foolish in the end. … I have done nothing wrong."
She shook her head. "You keep saying that as if it were true."
"It is true."
"From your point of view."
"From yours, I have never done anything right – at least not with you."
"You got that right."
"Mac, I have done nothing but love and care about you."
She turned away from him.
"I have put my LIFE …" He raised his voice to get her to turn back. "… and my career on the line for you countless times. I stood by you when you pushed me away, when you went to other men and I took your friendship when that was all you were willing to give."
She shook her head. There were so many issues with his ridiculous belief of his behavior over the past several years that she didn't know where to begin. She was speechless.
He drove the final nail home. "And I waited."
"Waited?" She was shocked as his assessment. "Waited for what?"
"I waited for you … I waited for you to look my way." He shrugged. "But you never did. It was never right; it was never enough. I was never going to be enough for you. I was forced to move on."
"MOVE ON?" She shrieked. "You call the night of the SecNav's ball 'moving on'?"
"What do you want from me, Mac?"
"I want us to start speaking the same language. I want you to stop jerking me around. I want to be treated with respect. I want -." She didn't get a chance to finish.
This time the knock came from Creswell himself. "Colonel, my office." He stepped back and waited for her to exit Harm's office. "Commander, don't go anywhere, you're next."
"Yes, sir."
Some minutes later, Harm saw as Mac exited Creswell's office, went to hers, retrieved her stuff and exited the building. She never looked in Harm's direction – or anyone else's for that matter.
Harm was immediately summoned to Creswell's office. He stood at attention.
"There is some … animosity going on between the colonel and yourself."
Harm did not feel the need to acknowledge that.
"I won't tolerate it any longer." Creswell finished.
Harm did not respond.
"I don't want to know the nature of it, it is not my business. You are both fine officers and have handled yourselves - up until now – professionally – with a few glaring exceptions." He sighed. "But as you were quick to point out in the Winter Harbor mess, that the Navy has some responsibility." Creswell looked directly at him. "Commander, I am transferring you to San Diego."
"Sir?"
"This is not a punishment and nothing will appear in your personnel jacket or in the colonel's. There is a need for a JAG out there, as you well know."
"Why me sir?"
"Honestly? The colonel is too valuable to me here in Washington." He could not contain a smile that came across his face. What he did not say was that he wanted to stick it to the base CO in San Diego – an old rival of his. "This will actually fast track you for captain, if you play your cards right."
"Permission to speak freely?"
Creswell rarely – if ever – gave that authorization. "Go ahead."
"Sir, do you really feel that I am the correct person for this position or are you just trying to get rid of me?" Harm wanted to know if this were just a case of promoting him to a position that he was sure to fail at in order to move him out altogether. Could this be the first step that would ultimate end his career?
"Commander if I were trying to get rid of you, you would be going to Iceland or Alaska."
"I have had little or no command experience, sir."
"You will rise to the challenge."
"Thank you for you confidence." Harm didn't mean that; he was still unclear of the general motives.
"You have the rest of the day to clean out your desk pass off your pending cases to Turner and you will report to San Diego a week from Monday."
"Yes, sir."
"Your written orders will be given to you by end of day."
"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. It has been an experience serving under your command."
"Don't be confused, Rabb … your ass still belongs to me … we will just have 3000 miles between us. Step out of line, and you will feel my boot up your butt."
Harm smiled. "Yes, sir."
"Dismissed."
"Aye Aye."
Harm had no idea what to make of all of that. Should he be angry with Mac or should he thank her. He was getting a great assignment in a place he once called home. He would be close to his mother, he would be on his way to getting his captain's bars (something that would have alluded him had he stayed in Washington) and he would never again have to deal with scraping ice and snow off his car.
However, he was losing a life that he had carved out for himself in Washington. He had friends, girlfriends and he liked working so close to the action. There was Mattie to consider, but he would of course come back to see her and she would come see him. He would miss Bud and Harriet and the kids, but they would stay in contact as much as they possibly good. Sturgis and he had become better friends and would be easy for them to pick up where they left off. As for Coates, she would be OK. The deal earlier was something silly –Harm offered to help her buy a car. What she was ranting about when Mac saw them was how unfair it was that car dealers treated women like total idiots. It was innocent.
The biggest change of course would be not seeing Mac everyday. At that point, however, he had to believe that was for the best. Their one night had ruined anything they had. He had hoped it would bring them closer, but he was wrong. It actually had ruined everything. He should have known. He still did not regret that night, he still had hopes that with the passage of time they would find their way back to friendship. It would be tempered by distance, made safe by the e-mail and phone line medium, but they would speak again. He had to have faith in that.
Or not … and to hell with Sarah MacKenzie. She did this to him … to them. She was the one that had asked him to back off, to move on, to act professionally. She was the one who couldn't do it. Ever since that night she had been more WOMAN SCORNED than MARINE. That was new for Harm.
Screw it. He chose to look at the upside. In the end it didn't matter … he was gone – so why not make the most of it. Why leave stuff undone. That would be the end of them. If they could not make a friendship work in the same office, they had no chance in hell of making a long distance relationship be worth the effort. It was over. Finally over. How sad that after ten years, it had to end that way. They had to know Creswell was no Chegwidden. He would not tolerate the Rabb/MacKenzie (aka Punch and Judy) show. They knew it, but the stakes had been raised without them looking. Harm decided to focus on what he gained rather than what he was losing and accepting what he never had to begin with. It was time to really cut his losses, pack up and start again some place new.