After ending his call with Bobby, Castiel sat at the cheap motel desk and opened his laptop. Bobby had given him a lead on another case in Sundance, Wyoming. He googled Sundance, a small town located near Devil's Tower.
Ironic location for a possible demon infestation, he thought wryly. Castiel researched the town until his attention began to wander back to his conversation with Bobby.
Bobby was right about one thing, he thought. Running into the Winchesters was bound to happen again if he continued hunting in this part of the country. He had considered working on one of the coasts but the thought of being surrounded by millions of people was something he could not tolerate. He now needed the freedom of wide open spaces to feel safe, finding the sweeping expanse of the road a comfort.
Castiel considered Bobby's advice that he should tell the Winchesters what had happened the night of the eclipse. He had hesitated at the suggestion, still unsure if he could deal with the memories.
As thoughts of that night began to flood his mind, sweat beaded his forehead and he was pulled into the vortex of his memories …
A maelstrom of emotions swept through Castiel, swirls of colors and sounds assaulted his senses, the swiftly flowing memories of the other souls overwhelming him. He could taste the fear of the desperate; hear the pleas of the frightened inside him. The screams for help, for mercy competed with the sibilant whisper of the souls who craved control and power.
He had fought to maintain control, to preserve his thoughts and memories against the onslaught of millions of desperate souls. Yet even as he struggled he could sense the souls' attempts to absorb his thoughts and twist his memories. Cut off from his angelic and human family he felt more alone than he ever had, vulnerable now to the influences of the souls of Purgatory.
The last straw, his last tether to hope had been Balthazar appearance which caused an ache in his heart; here was his true brother, his ally, and his friend. Yet he had become a Judas, betraying him, working with the Winchesters to stop him. Did no one have faith in him? Why couldn't his friend trust him? Hurt and betrayal overwhelming him, the loss of Balthazar's friendship and trust devastating, Castiel instinctively reacted. Cas wept with regret for his actions.
We will never hurt you. You saved us. You released us. The voices continued whispering promises of family, of love, of acceptance to Castiel, while twisting his views of his family. He tried hard not to listen, to give in to temptation; but now all alone, darkness flowed through him. Every thought amplified and every memory influenced, Castiel began to transform.
The sudden appearance of Crowley and Raphael caused a surge of hunger; not for sex or food, but for the first time he felt a desire for power. The moment that he snapped his fingers and destroyed Raphael, he felt a surge of elation. Trapped inside his own mind, Cas felt no joy in destroying his brother.
It filled him with a sense of strength, and for the first time, a sense of pride. His plan had worked; he had defeated Raphael and prevented the Apocalypse from being started again. Alone, abandoned and betrayed, he managed to defeat Raphael and outfox the King of Hell, thought Castiel smugly. Cas only felt loneliness.
Castiel looked into Dean's eyes and coldly told him that he was not his family, that he had no family. With words intent on causing pain, he mocked Dean, telling him that he while he had "doubted me, had fought against me, I had been right all along." Cas felt shame at the bitter words.
The sudden pain of the angel blade caused the souls inside him to shriek in pain and in ecstasy. He felt himself being pushed aside, pushed down and pulled apart by the reactions to the assault. He became a mere echo of himself inside the swarming souls while another declared himself to be a better God. Cas felt lost.
Castiel could see Dean and Bobby through the eyes of the other souls. He could see the fear in Dean's green eyes, the acceptance of death in Bobby Singer's eyes. Cas screamed with frustration.
He continued to struggle against the restraints that prevented him from helping his friend and comrade. He continued to fight against the fetters holding him; until he saw Sam. For the first time, Cas became enraged.
He remembered telling Lucifer that he wouldn't let the archangel take Sam. He remembered calling Sam his friend.
He remembered dying to give Dean a chance to reach Sam. He remembered trying to save Sam from Hell.
He remembered breaking the walls in Sam's mind and promising to save him.
He could not, would not, break his promise to Sam. A promise made was a promise he kept.
With the last of his strength, Cas gathered his will and wrestled control from the others.
With a thought, he rendered Dean, Sam, and Bobby unconscious, unwilling to risk another angel blade to the back or a shot gun blast to the heart, fearing it would break the tenuous hold he had on the souls. Gently brushing Sam's hair off his forehead, he touched Sam and healed him of his time in the cage.
"I am sorry Sam, I truly meant you no harm," Castiel whispered to the unconscious hunter. With his promise now kept, he decided on his next course of action and disappeared.