Note: The quote is from "Attack" by System of a Down.
Chapter 7
If we fall, we all fall
And we fall alone
Castiel sat perched on the edge of the bed, Dean by his side. They gathered the angel had graduated from words and sent out images, which Castiel was unable to cope with. The former angel seemed spooked, so Dean placed a hand on his shoulder, grounding him, reassuring him.
"Can you tell us what you saw?" Dean ventured.
Sam had gone back to his laptop, readying to hunt down a location as Castiel revealed it. He sat turned towards the ex-angel, watching with concern.
"Death… so much death. They will come together with love and comfort in their hearts and he will murder them".
"Where? What did the place look like?"
"It was an arena, with space for thousands upon thousands. There are walls of glass, and flags stand outside". Castiel frowned, seeming to sift through images in his mind. "Look for white snow tipped trees… no, blossom, not snow. They're in lines, all around… and it stands by a lake of salt".
That last piece of info gave it away. "Salt Lake City. Sammy?"
"On it". Sam started tapping away at his keyboard.
It didn't take long for him to pull up a likely location. "This looks like the one, Temple Arena. It's glass fronted, there are the flags, and it has trees too. Let's see what they've got coming up in 'Events'… Ah, 'Faith for the Fallen' looks like there's some inter-faith cooperation going on. All the denominations are gathering together to praise the Lord, thank him for sending his children to earth, and pray for guidance".
"And our angel is going to barbeque them all… So when is it?"
"Tomorrow".
"You're kidding? We've hardly got anything of today left!"
"It'll only take a few hours to drive over there. We can do it".
On thinking it over Dean gave in to his brother's optimism. "I suppose… it's not like we haven't flown by the seat of our pants before. Cas-"
"I'm coming". The former angel cut across Dean.
"I wasn't going to ask you to sit on the bench. I was just going to ask if you'll be okay facing this guy".
"Oh… I believe so. He has not intentionally harmed me; on the contrary, he seems to be requesting my aid. I think I will be safe enough".
"You might find that changes when you roll up with a gun and the Winchesters in tow".
"Nevertheless, I'm coming".
"Okay then, let's lock and load".
-oOo-
Although it was 'tomorrow' it was still dark when they arrived at the arena. They had a good few hours before people would start coming in for the event. Most were probably still in bed. The car park was near empty at least.
The three retrieved their weapons from the trunk and made their way towards the arena. Its glass front reflected the city's lights giving the impression of a wall covered in fireflies. They would have to look around for a loose window… but before they got any further somebody stepped in to block their path.
"Jophiel?" Dean asked, confused.
"You know him?" Sam looked across at his brother.
"Yeah, this is the grocery store angel…" He still had his apron and name tag on 'My name is Joe, how may I help you?' Dean directed his next question at Jophiel. "What the hell are you doing here? I thought you didn't want to leave your 'Aunt'?"
'Aunt' was said with judicious use of air quotes… and then Dean noticed the angel had red rimmed eyes.
"I can't let you enter. Castiel, you are welcome, but the Winchesters are not".
Castiel stepped forwards, defiant. "They go where I go".
"I can't let them enter". He said again, despondently.
"What happened Jophiel?" Dean approached, standing side by side with Castiel. This was not the manner of a righteous angel, firm in their belief, and ready to smite in a second. This was a cowed spirit, saying what he had been told to.
It took a moment for Jophiel to speak again. He looked at the three of them warily, as if scared a thunder bolt might strike him down. "He found me… he asked me to join him, and I refused. He did not accept my answer as graciously as you did".
"What did he do? Is Ivy okay?" Dean asked guardedly.
"No… She is ash, along with her shop, and my sanctuary".
"I'm sorry to hear that… but what are you doing here? He burnt everything down and you just went along and followed him?" Dean couldn't help but ask in a rather incredulous manner.
"Where else was I supposed to go? Who else was I supposed to follow?" Jophiel's eyes were suddenly angry.
"Well, how about fighting back? You don't just fall in with the guy who murdered the only woman to show you any kindness… And you don't follow anyone; you make your own way in the world!"
"How? I was not as lucky as Castiel to fall with the Winchesters by my side…"
Dean sighed. "Okay, look, we'll help you. Come with us, and we'll see you right. For now it's best you stay out of this, just go sit in the car, Sam will take you".
"Over here". Sam held his arm out, indicating where they'd parked the Impala.
"Sam, we'll look down the West side for a way to get in, see you inside".
But Jophiel held back before following Sam to the car. "There are two more of my brothers in there. Nuriel will be happy to leave… Sachiel may not be".
"Okay, we can deal with that… and it's a big place, where's head honcho going to be?"
"Look below the arena. He seemed to like lurking down there".
"Thanks Jophiel, we'll see you real soon".
-oOo-
By the time Sam joined Dean and Castiel they had managed to break in. The three followed long corridors, looking for a way to the basement. There were no signs… the general public wouldn't need to know how to get down there. Eventually Dean pushed open a door onto the main arena. It brought them out half way up the bottom tier of seats. Dean pointed down to a tunnel that led out onto the floor. It looked like the place was used for sporting events too, and that's where the teams would emerge. It was a step closer to the basement anyhow.
They made their way down. A stage had been set up on the arena floor, microphones and lights stood dormant, waiting for their big moment. Dean looked up at the surrounding seats. There were so many the audience must look like ants to the performers… He imagined himself as a rock star, belting out raw vocals to the scream of guitars and thrumming bass. So this must be what it was like for Metallica… except they had roaring crowds singing along, not empty seats and a quiet arena. You could hear a pin drop...
Castiel pulled on Dean's arm, breaking his reverie and hurrying him along.
"Okay, dude, I'm coming…"
"Not fast enough". The former angel huffed.
After making their way down the tunnel the three of them switched on flash lights and started trying doors. Some were clearly signposted… changing rooms… dressing rooms… Others were more mundane, like closets filled with cleaning supplies. They came across an area where some building work was going on. Tools and machinery sat lying around while tarps hung, still in the dead air. There was a large hole in the ground, fenced off with warning signs. Of course, that wouldn't stop Dean. He pulled them out of the way and peered over the edge.
"Hey, over here! Looks like they're putting in some new stairs or something…"
While there was a hole down to the next floor the stairs had yet to go in. The materials were stacked to one side.
Castiel came to join Dean at the mouth of the hole. They shone their flash lights around, finding more tarps and building paraphernalia. It looked to be quite a drop.
"If we-"
Dean didn't get to finish, somebody shoved him hard in the back. They got Castiel as well, judging by the way he was propelled forwards at Dean's side. Their arms wheeled through the air, seeking purchase and finding none as they spun into the black depths.
They hit with a thud, tarps breaking their fall only slightly… Flash lights flickered, strobing weak light across the wall, and Dean's vision whirled.
"I think I found the basement…" He managed weakly before passing out.
-oOo-
Somebody patted his cheek.
"Wake up, please… you have to wake up".
Dean cracked his eyes open to find a concerned blue pair staring down into his own.
"Cas?" He managed to croak. Then as his vision started to coalesce Dean noticed this pair of blue eyes had dirty blonde hair… but Castiel was the only other to fall down with him.
Confused Dean struggled to snake a hand out to one side. It hit something solid. He tilted his head to find Castiel's messy black hair and tightly shut eyes beside him. So who was…?
Then Jophiel's words came back to Dean… There are two more of my brothers in there… The angels. Shit.
Dean fought to get up, and was surprised to find the angel's hands helping him.
"Careful… you had quite a fall".
"Not as bad as yours... Which one are you then?" The swimming world and Dean's swimming thoughts were righting themselves at last.
Dean noticed Castiel at his side, beginning to stir. And Sam, a little further away. Whoever pushed them must have tossed Sam in afterwards. A spark of anger lit up Dean's heart.
"My name is Nuriel".
"And who pushed us down? Jerkiel?" Dean scowled.
"No… that was Sachiel". Of course Dean's snark flew right over the angel's head. "He is not entirely enamoured with humanity".
"You said it…"
As Castiel's eyes opened he let out a groan, and Nuriel's gentle hand flew to his cheek. "Brother… I am so sorry to see you so broken".
"I wish you'd all stop feeling so sorry for him. He might be less than you are, but at least he still fights. He doesn't roll over for the next angel with a plan and a Lucifer complex".
Dean huffed as Nuriel looked at him with hurt eyes.
"Sammy? You awake?" Dean scooted over to his brother and helped him up.
"The angel… watch out…" Sam muttered muzzily.
"Yeah, we already got there Sammy. Catch up". Dean gave him a pat on the arm and then tried to heft his brother to his feet.
Above them lights flickered on with a hum.
Nuriel had helped Castiel up, they both looked to the lights, one with horror, one with confusion.
"You have to hurry, we are out of time! They are coming!" Nuriel near enough shouted at the brothers.
Dean's face drained of all colour. "How long were we out? The event's starting already?"
"Yes, people are coming in to take their seats. You have to stop him".
"We have to get these people out. Sam, get this place evacuated, pull an alarm… do whatever you have to. Nuriel, can you go with him, get him up top?"
"Yes, but it is highly likely that Sachiel will try to stop us".
"Then you stop him, there's two of you. Are you an angel or a mouse for God's sake? Sam, if this guy can't be reasoned with don't hesitate to shoot. We've got thousands of people flooding into this place right now, we can't afford for an ass clown angel to mess things up. Me and Cas will go after Douchiel".
"Are you sure you can handle it? He's meant to be stronger than all others…" Sam frowned with concern.
"Don't worry. There are two of us too, we can take him". Dean gave his brother a cocky grin and wished him luck before they went their separate ways.
-oOo-
The basement was a lot less intimidating with the lights on. They weren't that powerful, and they were spaced apart leaving shadows between, but they were enough.
Dean and Castiel had their guns out as they stalked down the concrete corridor with purpose. Until the corridor came to an end and split left and right in opposite directions…
"Shit… this is like every horror movie cliché you could ask for. But we have to split, we haven't got time… Wait, I know, I'll call you. We can be with each other apart on the phone, if that makes sense… Anyway, any problems and we'll know straight away".
Dean dialled Castiel's number. The former angel picked up.
"Hello Dean".
"Yeah… you don't need to say that, I'm right here".
"Oh… okay". He took the phone away from his ear.
"Just stay on the line, tell me what you see, and I'll do the same. If you find him don't do anything, just watch him. I'll come over and we'll tackle the guy together. You take left, and I'll take right. Stay safe".
Dean clapped Castiel on the shoulder and went on his way. A light flickered ominously in the distance. Dean took a deep breath and told himself Castiel would be fine. If he entertained that little seed of doubt he would find himself flying back down that corridor before he could stop himself.
After walking a short way Dean raised the phone to his ear and spoke in a hushed tone. "Testing, testing, one, two, three… You hear me Cas?"
"Yes". The former angel's voice crackled down the line. It was a bit faint with them being so far down.
"Good, so nothing to report so far…"
"I'm looking in a storage room. There is a rat investigating a discarded coffee cup… now it's running away. It went under a crate".
"The storage room rat adventures are thrilling Cas, but I don't really need to know all of that…"
"Okay".
The line went quiet for a while, Dean worried.
"That isn't to say you should stop talking altogether. Look, here's an example. I'm heading for a bathroom…" Dean pushed the door open to reveal a rather grotty affair. This clearly wasn't where the main stars went. "All clear".
"Why would the angel hide in a bathroom?"
"I don't know Cas, because it's the last place he would expect us to look for him?"
"I don't think he's hiding… I think he's waiting".
"You're probably right. Cocky dick angels don't need to hide do they?"
"I'm…" Castiel's voice faded out. "… dead bird".
"What Cas? I lost you for a second".
"I said I looked in another storage room, and there was a dead bird".
"How on earth did a dead bird get down there?"
"It was a canary, in a cage, with its eyes open… they looked a bit wrong".
"Oh… probably a prop, stuffed by a taxidermist". Dean made a little sound of disgust.
"Why do humans do that?"
"I don't know… it's probably people wanting to hold on to their beloved pets or something… It's creepy".
"It doesn't make sense, why would you stuff an empty vessel for display when the soul has long departed? I hold affection for you Dean, but as an angel I would never have kept your vessel after death and stuffed it to put on show".
"Well, that's great to hear, and also very creepy. Do me a favour and don't ever say that to me again… So animals have souls too huh?"
"Of course, humans are basically animals, highly evolved ones but animals all the same".
"Okay… we'll have to chat later, I'm going quiet for a minute".
Up ahead Dean had noticed a room with its lights on. There was a window looking in, and so he crept up as quietly as he could. It was a large space with soft mats on the floor… possibly some sort of rehearsal room, though his view was partially blocked by stacks of staging. Dean put his hand to the door and opened it slowly, not wanting to give himself away… Chances are he would find nothing but rats in here, but it was better to be safe than sorry.
Sure enough Dean found the room to be empty, although there was a doorway at the back that seemed to lead through to more storage space. Beyond the doorway another light flickered, abruptly dying and returning to life. Dean raised his gun and made his way over. He hurried across the mats, the open space made him feel exposed, but at least they muffled his footsteps. A musty scent hung in the air; it was the sort of staleness a room gathers with disuse. Dean guessed it had been a long time since any rehearsing had been done down here. He pointed his gun around the corner, and made his way further along on finding it clear. The space opened out to a room with more staging around the walls, dripping pipes overhead, and a man kneeling, facing the wall. His hands were clasped in front of him, and Dean could hear him talking under his breath. The broken bracelets of handcuffs hung from each wrist. The man wore a bright orange prison jumpsuit and his dark, lank hair, was softly curled with neglect.
Dean backed off into the rehearsal room and put the phone to his ear. "Cas? I found him. Cas, can you hear me?"
There was no response, Dean looked at his phone and cursed at finding his reception non-existent. He tried dialling Castiel again with no luck. Hopefully the former angel would come looking for him…
Dean started waving his phone around, hoping it would pick something up. He moved back to the door leading out on to the corridor, and mercifully a bar of signal lit up. Dean punched in Castiel's number and relief flooded through him as it started to ring.
"Cas you son of a bitch, pick up". Dean hissed.
And then he gasped at feeling a knife thrust into his stomach. At the same moment he was grabbed from behind. The angel pushed in against him, one hand on the blade, and one hand pulling Dean's head back.
"You were told not to come". The angel whispered harshly into Dean's ear.
-oOo-
Dean found himself dragged through to the back room. The angel dropped him unceremoniously on the hard ground. Pain lanced from the knife embedded in his flesh. He tried not to cry out… not to show weakness… The angel frisked him over for weapons and tossed them to one side with little thought. The knife had been left stuck in Dean… and the angel was close enough to strike at. Dean's hand went to pull the knife out… he didn't worry about bleeding to death; he could get medical attention before dying. Probably. His only thought was for taking this son of a bitch out and stopping him from burning them all to a crisp.
The angel simply batted his hand away as he checked around Dean's boots for more weapons. "Leave it".
Instinctively Dean's hand went back to the knife. This time the angel grabbed Dean's wrist and wrenched it. Something cracked in Dean's arm and he couldn't help but cry out.
"I said leave it".
"Why? Why not let me just bleed out and die now?" Dean managed to growl out.
Dean began to regret his defiance as the angel slid over to kneel by his face. The angel peered down, taking Dean apart with his eyes. They were as blue as Castiel's, but cold, hard, and bloodshot. It left Dean feeling vulnerable… a mouse caught between the unforgiving paws of a cat.
"Suffering". The angel replied simply.
"What do you mean? Why are you doing this? Any of this?"
"Suffering… it is an art to humanity". The angel took a firm grip around Dean's broken arm and squeezed. He waited for the scream to end before continuing. "I had not experienced pain before falling. I have experienced a great deal since… Do you know what it is to be alone Dean Winchester? I suspect you have no idea what it is to be alone, truly alone, so that your every breath is like a scream in your ears. On waking I found myself alone in a junkyard. I have never been so alone… from the moment of our creation we are connected to Heaven, to our brothers and sisters. I awoke to silence amid the detritus of humanity. And then the silence was broken by a savage bark. A man set his dogs on me, and so my first shaking steps on this world were more harried and violent. They bit me when I stumbled. But I found men more savage than any animal…"
The angel got to his feet and circled around Dean. "I fell at the feet of the first human I came across. He took me in, but offered cruelty, not kindness. He beat me…" The angel gave a hefty kick to Dean's ribs. "He burnt me with cigarettes…" A finger reached forwards to scorch Dean's skin. "And then his friends paid a visit and did so much more…"
He came to rest where he started, kneeling by Dean's head. Dean flinched, expecting a blow, but none came… the angel just stared at him. "I don't know how long I was there, but I was saved. Their door was kicked down and in came men with suits and guns… They restrained me and sedated me, and eventually I came to regret being saved. I suppose they were curious, but curiosity breeds the worst kind of savagery. We were cut open, tested on, and patched up, to start again the next day. The rooms echoed with the screams of my brothers and sisters. In the isolation of my cage I scraped back enough awareness to concentrate… and I found I could communicate with my kin. Like wasted skills my powers came back to me, and so I visited their own savagery upon them. God created humanity, you started out so perfect, and you have become this… Not even the beasts of this world have sunk so low. Why am I doing this? Because you don't deserve to live. Lucifer was right, and we have been cast down as he was cast down… so I will arise to take his place".
Dean fought against the pain radiating through his body to give an answer. "These people are innocent, they don't deserve to die!"
"God condemns you all as sinners for daring to be born. If he can condemn humanity, so can I".
Dean's voice grew quieter. "You must still have some faith in him… to be praying back there. I saw you".
The angel scowled. "I would not waste my time on God. I was praying to Metatron. Showing him how we suffer… He wanted stories, and so he will be given stories to weep over".
"You're not going to win here, you know that right? Sam and Cas are still out there, they're going to stop you".
"Your brother poses as much of a threat as you do. And my brother would be wise to join me…"
"He won't, I'm telling you that now". Dean growled through gritted teeth.
"What other cause will he follow when you are dead and gone? Castiel is a murderer at heart. Do not be fooled by his single minded affection for you… He has killed many in Heaven and on earth".
"That wasn't him".
"Oh it was, it was more him than you know. After all, how long have you known Castiel? To you it is years, to him it is but the blink of an eye. You should have seen him in Egypt…" A small smile graced the angel's lips. "I don't quite understand why he is so attached to you… Your rescue was an order, nothing more. Yet he was so proud to have carried it out. You know he shouted 'Dean Winchester is saved' so loud we all heard it, even the fallen".
The angel ripped open Dean's shirt at the arm. "He was so excited he even marked you".
His hand covered the scar Castiel had burnt into Dean's skin. "When you die, and it will be soon, you will die as mine".
A searing pain cut across Dean's arm as the angel started to burn his own handprint over Castiel's.
The click of a gun cocking echoed around the concrete walls. "He belongs to no one".
Dean could have cried with relief at seeing Castiel, standing strong with his gun aimed and ready.
"Step away from Dean and give me your name". He ordered.
"My name? Do you not see me Castiel? I stand before you plain as day…" The angel took a moment, and then he looked at Castiel as all the others had done. As if he was peeling away all the layers of skin and bone with his sight. "Oh my brother… so that is why you didn't respond to my call. Metatron has left you blind. He will pay, for you and for all of us. Once we have taken this world and returned to power we will tear him down and take your grace back, this I promise you… He is but one angel hiding behind the walls of Heaven. Now hiding is his forte, but he cannot hide forever. I have a mind to use the forces of hell too - they once belonged to Lucifer and may fall in with us… Together we can assault the gates of Heaven, and one way or another Metatron will fall. Will you join me brother?"
Castiel stood firm. "Give me your name angel".
"Auriel, now what do you say?"
"I will not join you Auriel. I would rather see you dead than walk in Lucifer's footsteps beside you".
"Why? What is it about humanity that you hold so dear? These creatures are filled with hate; they inflict suffering on each other and the world, even in our father's name. This world that has been given to them… they do not deserve it, they are not worthy of paradise!"
"You are wrong brother… they are not all alike. There is pain and suffering, but there is courage also. There is hope and the will to change in their hearts". Castiel looked at his brother with pleading eyes. "… and I am one of them. They are my people now".
"No Castiel, you were not born to die. You have been crippled, but we will restore you".
Dean focussed through the agony enough to see Castiel waver. For a moment he wondered if the temptation of grace would sway the ex-angel. He wondered if the pull of grace would be stronger than the pull of humanity... of himself.
"I am human". Castiel still stood strong.
"I think you have walked amongst them for too long brother… you are no more human than God is. Look at you - that face you're wearing, that body you're occupying. It belongs to somebody else. What is his name?"
Dean could see the former angel's jaw clench, but he gave no answer.
"What is his name Castiel?" Auriel asked again and was met with silence.
"I asked you a question! Will you not have the decency to answer?" The angel suddenly roared.
"Jimmy" Castiel let the name reluctantly escape his lips with a small voice.
"And this Jimmy, did he have a wife? Children? Did he have a job? A life that you took from him? Tell me all about Jimmy; I would like to know his story".
Again the former angel said nothing; he just gave Auriel a wrathful glare.
"Tell me about Jimmy or I will pull the knife from Dean's gut and we can reminisce while his blood paints the floor red".
Castiel was quick to answer. "Jimmy had a wife, her name was Amelia, and his daughter was Claire. He made a living selling ad time for radio. He was a good man, and he was happy… until an angel asked him to prove his faith".
"So you see, Jimmy is the human. Maybe he's still scratching away in there somewhere. You were too blind to see me - maybe you are deaf to his cries too. But that is his flesh you wear, that is not your face you see in the mirror each morning… You are not human, and they will never be your people".
"You're wrong… he took my wings… took my grace… there is nothing angelic left in me. I am mortal".
"Do you dare deny yourself? Do you still pretend to be human? You are an angel of the Lord. You are Castiel, angel of Thursday!"
"I am human!" Castiel shouted, although he sounded as if he was trying to convince himself as much as Auriel. "Now step away from Dean or I will shoot you!"
"Will you now? How good is your aim with that primitive human weapon?"
"Good enough". Dean could see Castiel's face drawn with intense focus.
"Are you sure about that? How much are you willing to risk?"
Dean felt rough hands on him then. They hauled him to his feet and agony wracked his frame. The world around him blurred as he screamed, he thought he heard somebody shout his name… When his senses righted Dean found himself being held tightly against the angel.
"You have a choice Castiel. Shoot me and risk shooting him. Or put the gun down". Auriel's fist twisted in Dean's hair as he held the hunter up.
"Take the shot" Dean's weak voice ground out. The angel gave his head a violent shake.
Castiel looked at Dean with such concern. His gun was still held aloft, unwavering, but the hesitation was in his eyes.
Dean tried again. "Take the shot Cas, he's going to kill us all anyway".
The former angel gave a small shake of the head.
"Interesting how you will put this human's life above all others… even your own". Auriel spoke as if he were a scientist discussing a specimen he was studying. Then his voice turned hard. "Make your choice Castiel".
Dean was willing him to do it. His life was in the balance either way… he might already be dead with the knife still embedded in his middle. And if Castiel put the gun down there was no chance Auriel would let them all walk away from this…
Castiel raised the gun and then Auriel raised a hand. He clicked his fingers and the lights went out with a sudden shattering sound.
"Without your angelic sight you are blind brother… will you put the gun down now?"
The darkness seemed to rush in and press against Dean, but it changed nothing. "Take the goddamn shot Cas!"
He couldn't see Castiel, and there was no sound from the former angel. He didn't answer. Dean felt he was moments from faltering and giving in… take the shot, taketheshot, taketheshottaketheshot… he directed his stream of thoughts at the ex-angel. All he could hear was the harsh breath of Auriel against his ear.
"Castiel". The angel said his name in a sing song voice that gave a horrible creeping sensation along Dean's skin. "Decision time… The longer you delay, the more I pull your human apart".
Dean felt the knife in his gut twist. A scream tore from his throat. And suddenly all hesitation evaporated. BANG.
He was punched in the chest… no, through the chest, and into the body behind. They fell. He couldn't breathe. Then the pain hit after the shock cleared a path. He could hardly think… only sensations registered… hurt, overwhelming hurt… warm liquid gushing… footsteps hurried over, he felt himself being pulled clear and then BANG. BANG. BANG. Shots echoed around the room, they bounced off the walls and crashed into him. He was deaf, he was blind, and he was dying. Hands pushed down on his chest, fingers pressed at his forehead… I can't heal you Dean, I can't heal, I can't… a desperate voice on a loop. He was dying. His last thought was of Sam and Castiel. He was dying, and all he wanted to do was tell them it would be okay. But his lips wouldn't move, and the feeling of hands clutching at his face faded away. This was it. They would be okay.