A/N: I want to give a massive shoutout to Molomar! It makes my day to read your thoughts on what's going on in the story, and I'll see what I can do to meet the request of yours in the future! I hope everyone (esp you my dood :)) enjoys this chapter. I'd also like to apologize for taking waaay longer than my usual time to update, I've been dealing with a change of major at my university, tests and research papers, and some mental health issues, which my friends took me out on the town in response to plus some other issues with some medication I've been taking and this chapter has been a total bitch to get just right. I spent a ton of time writing from Hachiman's point of view but this chapter really feels like an awesome time for Yui (who I have taken a few non storybreaking liberties with) to shine. Depending on feedback for the angles I'm working in this chapter the story will probably go one of two different ways, with that said I hope y'all enjoy!

Also! I might also make a Spotify playlist for this fic, if anybody feels like they'd be into listening to something like that feel free to let me know and I'll make it happen.

EDIT: also a huge shoutout to smilingsamurai for that awesome PM and review!

Chapter Six: Something Genuine

Yui Yuigahama stood in front of her home, just released from her optional Saturday classes. She was in the process of, putting it mildly, freaking out. Hachiman had seemed so not himself when they had last spoke in the club. He had not only said more than four words back to back, but he had cried with her and Yukino. It was weird, to say the least. She unlocked the door and stepped in her home, kicked her shoes off. Her mother was gone, at work. She was a nurse, and the two of them lived together in a relatively nice apartment.

Her mother and father were not together, they hadn't been for several years at this point. She had a younger brother, too. His name was Yuuto. He was a year and a half younger than she. Yuuto moved to live with his father after a court case three years ago, and then drifted out of contact with his mother and Yui herself. When she last saw him, Yuuto was thin and ornery, with unkempt raven black hair and fiery brown eyes. He had lied about her, and on the day he left he barely gave her a look over his shoulder before stepping into his father's car.

Yui shook herself out of her reverie; grabbed a kettle and filled it with water and set it on her stove to boil it. She had never been much of a tea drinker before the Volunteers Club, but she found herself growing a taste for the beverage Yukino often prepared for her and Hachiman. The taste reminded her of them, of her friends. Friends who were real and who actually cared about her. So she liked it.

She grabbed a mug, set it on the counter and noticed a folded note her mother had left her on the counter.

Yui, my darling,

Tonight's the big night! You and Hikigaya are finally going on your date!
I know that you must be feeling worried after how the last few days have been,
but I promise things will be okay. I know you feel hurt and upset after
what he said at the ramen shack, and that you're afraid for him with
how unusual he's been acting, but give him patience and kindness.
He is coming into his own now, after so many years ignoring his own
opportunities to grow. He may have said hurtful things, but in the end
he is still human and he is willing to change for you. Seek to
understand him, and you too will be understood in time.

Love,
Your mother

P.S. don't forget protection! I hope nothing happens but if it
does, it never hurts to be safe!

A handful of condoms flopped out of the bottom of the folded papers, much to Yui's dismay. Her cheeks flushed at the mere thought of it! And the idea ofher mother thinking of her and a boy together like... that... Gross! And it wasn't a date at all, was it?

The kettle whistled, and with a jump she ran to pour her tea. Her mother's advice was still decent she decided. She left for her room, bringing her mug with her.

Maybe she really should be looking to support Hachiman through what he was going through instead of taking what he was saying personally. She should try to understand him, and to be there for him. Was that what he wanted? Would that mean she could at least hold onto his friendship? Would that help them move beyond the tenuous peace they had adopted? These things were a mystery - he was a mystery.

Yui shoved thoughts of the boy out of her head, she wanted to at least try to relax for a while. She pulled her phone from her pocked, sipped at her tea, and started looking through the festival's web page. It had architecture from all over the world built in lights, a carnival, a planetarium made of lights, novelty American foods like... deep fried Oreos? That sounded positively disgusting! She had to try them!

Her phone alarm chimed - it was time to get ready for the festival. Yui pushed off from her bed and headed toward her closet.

Hachiman had been waiting at the train station for about four minutes when Yui arrived, in dark jeans with a band tee and a coat. She waved at the boy and he nodded at her. She awkwardly ran toward him and he slouched even further into the piece of wall he was leaning on.

"Yahallo Hikki," she smiled and waved at him, and came to an awkward stop, tripping over her own feet and tumbling toward the boy.

"Y-" he choked on his words, Yui had stuck her arms out to break her fall, and so her body had collided with his.

She had him pinned against the wall, now. They were flush together, his head tilted down at just the right angle to smell the conditioner she used. He yelped in surprise - or at least tried to. His lips were pressed to the redhead's forehead. He felt color flood to his cheeks as the girl yelped and pulled away from him. She squealed and backed away from him.

Stupid, her conscience chided her, you do not even know how to walk correctly!

"I-I'm sorry," she stammered, looking down at the floor. Her face burned, and she wished desperately to disappear.

Hachiman was silent, save for a huff and a breath he took before walking away. They quietly shuffled into the train. Neither of them were entirely ready to have a conversation at that moment. A few stops had gone by with silence between them; that was how he was she reminded herself, trying to sooth her damaged nerves. He wasn't the kind of person to really make conversation with anyone.

Was he always this distant?

"S-so... Hikki," her voice sounded so small in her ears.

Do better idiot! Or else you'll ruin the entire night.

She reached for another topic, laughed nervously and stuttered, "What do you w-want to do when we get there? There's a carnival and rides and all kinds of lights and stuff!"

He was still quiet. Lost in thought, maybe? Her stomach growled. She may not have remembered to eat that day.

"Do you mind if we start with food? I might be feeling a little bit hungry. We should try fried oreos, they're an American snack the festival is offering and it sounds so yummy!"

He nodded and murmured distantly.

You're running around in circles for someone who doesn't even care that much! Just look at him, why did he even fight for this, show you everything he did on Friday... He just wanted to get your hopes up, didn't he?

He doesn't even care, does he?

"Oh come on," she whined, trying anything to get a hold of him, "it seems like it's so different it's at least worth trying!"

He sighed heavily, "That sounds disgusting..."

She forced herself to smile wider, "Buuuut! You'll still try them with me won't you, Hikki?"

"Fine."

Well, that was something at least...

Remember, she thought inward, happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts.

The silence returned, but even after getting him to talk to her, it didn't feel any less awkward. Soon enough, their stop had come.

"Okay, Hikki! It's just a short walk from here, follow me. I have the directions on my phone," she had stood, and he remained sitting. Still daydreaming.

She waved a hand in front of his face, "Hikki?"

"Hmm?" He looked up from the window he was absently staring out of, "oh... Uh, sorry."

He stood up and they walked in silence. It had never felt so crushing to her before, the deep conversation Hachiman was known for. The sun was beginning to set, and the sky seemed colder than usual. A stiff wind blew against their faces, and they kept walking. Yui didn't speak, and the boy was looking away. Still in thought over whatever it was he had been mulling over. Whatever it was it had to be important, every gear in his head seemed to be turning full speed.

Neon lights, once single blots of colors began to separate and distinguish themselves. The green of a neon Christmas tree, the rainbow lights on the Ferris wheel...

The gold on the Eiffel Tower. Gold, like when she had confessed to him. Gold, the color of their ambiguous intimacy, their mystery dance that had been abandoned days ago.

He had called her selfish for wanting to make other people happy, called it stupid and impossible, and said she would never be enough to make someone miserable at their core happy.

That one had stuck. Because what was he if not miserable? Ignoring or otherwise denying it maybe, but anyone who looked at him could plainly see it. The way he pushed everyone away from him, the ways he would always hurt the people around him - hurt himself - to get results, how broken he had looked when he tried to open up. Yui was never angry at him for giving her the advice he had, even if the words had been painful. She was hurting for him because of what he said. Because meant that he didn't believe that someone who was miserable could be helped by the people around them.

He didn't believe in himself, in getting better. When she heard that, it became too painful, too familiar to be around him.

His quiet voice broke her monologue, "So... Oreos first?"

She looked at him and smiled, "Yes, please! My stomach is so empty!"

He nodded. The line for the festival was relatively short, they had made it before the bulk of the crowd. Silence settled again.

The lights cast Hachiman's face in a myriad of color, but did not seem to strike his body. His jaw was cast in reds and greens, light from the Christmas decorations that were just ahead of them. His lips and nose were cast in blues, and his eyes reflected the gold star on the Christmas tree. His eyes were focused on the star, and Yui followed his gaze to it.

"It's pretty," she breathed, "I really love Christmas decorations, don't you?"

"Yeah," he spoke quietly.

"Is the star your favorite part?"

"I guess."

Somewhere in the darkness below them, Yui's hand twitched to reach for his. The attendant at the ticket booth gestured for them to head up to the counter. The two bought their tickets and entered.

Wordlessly, Hachiman set off for one of the snack booths. Yui followed.

"Hello there! What can I get for you two?" The cashier smiled warmly.

Yui stepped forward, "Can we try the fried Oreos?"

"Absolutely! One order of fried Oreos? Will that be everything for you tonight?"

She nodded and quietly paid. A few moments later, in a small cardboard tray, came three breaded cookies with a light dusting of powdered sugar. She offered one to Hachiman first, then tentatively took a nibble from one herself. It was... actually not that bad? A bit rich maybe, but otherwise decent.

She swallowed a bite, "What do you think about them?"

"A bith shwee, buh guh," his speech was slightly muffled - he was talking with his mouth full.

"I think they aren't half bad," she smiled, breaking the third cookie in half and offering it to him. He took it.

They kept walking in silence. They had come to the architecture section. They had just passed the Leaning Tower of Pisa, the Coliseum, the Taj Mahal, other famous buildings all recreated in neon lights.

The Oreos had long since been finished by this point, and still he made no move to talk to her or even act like she was there. To a stranger, it may well have looked like the two of them were only coincidentally walking side by side, not that they knew each other.

They had come to the Eiffel Tower.

Still, there was silence. It was getting to be overwhelming. She couldn't understand it, he seemed so much further away than the last time they had spoke. It felt like a betrayal for him to fight so hard for this to happen only to push himself further away. It was starting to be unbearable, to just go along with it.

This wasn't the way tonight was supposed to go.

She remembered what her mother told her in the letter - seek to understand him.

Yui stopped, stood in front of the dour young man, dug her feet into the ground, and finally filled the silence with something that meant something.

"I don't understand! You fought to be here, begged! You opened up to me, to Yukino! And now that you got what you wanted is it suddenly too much to even try connect to me again? You've barely been here, I didn't want to come here but I did even after you hurt me! Hurt yourself! And yo-you... You seemed like you wanted to get better, be better... I swallowed my hurt after everything you've said, everything you've done! And I came with you! But I just don't understand it. What are you thinking about? I can't see it... Why are you so far away?"

"What do you want?" She wasn't looking at him now.

He was frozen. Silent. His chest was heaving and his eyes looked like those of a suffocating animal. A fish out of water.

She was starting to cry now, eyes cast to the floor.

"I-i-if it's because I-I-I... ran int," she sucked in a heavy, ragged, breath, "to yo-u, I said I wa-wa-was so-rry!"

He still said nothing.

How could he be so cold?

"Y-y-you sai-id tha-that you d-di-didn't wan-t to hu-hurt m-me any-anymore. Pl-please say," another heavy gasp, "s-s-something."

He drew a shuddering breath. Brown eyes turned lightly pinked from shed tears looked up to meet his face. The sobbing girl quieted marginally.

The Eiffel tower, monochrome, bathed the two in golden light.

His eyes began to shimmer in fear, in grief, in hope.

"I... I - what I want... I've never wanted empty words or friendship, or even mutual understanding or companionship. I don't want anything like that... Nothing like that. I don't care about being understood! I just want to understand. Understand, know, and rest easy in that knowledge. To have some peace of mind. I want to know people inside and out because I am terrified of being in the dark, of being alone. And I know, I know that wanting it because I'm afraid is a self-indulgent, egotistic, despicable, and arrogant wish! I feel sick to my stomach knowing I want something so disgusting..."

He paused and gasped for air, tears began to trickle down his face. Yui stood just further than arm's length away from him. Silent tears ran down her face as she watched him gather himself together.

"But... But if it's even possible, at all! To share that desire - if it's even possible for two people to burden one another - freely - with that repulsive self gratification... I know that it's o-out of my reach. But even so-" he took another breath and cleared his throat. His voice was thick with emotion, "even so... I-I just want something... Genuine."

Yui's eyes widened with realization. She took a step closer to him, but he did not come any closer. He was openly crying, and his head was hung low. He didn't even see her coming to him. Hadn't even been able to fathom the idea of someone breaking through to him and pulling him out from the place he had been trapped in.

She had to show him.

Yui took another step forward. Another. And another. She was so close to him now, she could smell... cologne? He did care. He cared enough to put in effort, that was proof! In all the time she had known him, he had never owned cologne. He even said so before, and did so proudly. He had bought that cologne for tonight. She had thought he didn't care at all, and he had completely broken that conception. He cared, cared so much. But he didn't understand any of the ways to express it.

A pair of arms wrapped around Hachiman's sides. A hand guided his hanging head to a soft shoulder, caressed and stroked his hair as his tears intensified. She was crying happy tears now.

"I'm here, Hikki. You have me. Understand me. Take me. Let me understand you..." She sniffled, stifled a sob as she tangled her fingers in his hair, squeezed him tightly to her, "please take me."

His arms finally came up from his sides, wrapped around her as tightly as she had wrapped around him. He held onto her with shaking hands, hands that barely touched her despite how tightly he squeezed.

He was afraid. Afraid that if he touched her, she would turn to dust and disappear. He was so used to being alone that even now, he was afraid of it.

She understood. She finally understood.

"I want to be here, I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me to Hikki." She was cupping his face now, both of them had begun to come down, they were no longer crying.

He voice was a heady rasp in her ear, "Then don't go. Please."

Their foreheads were pressed together now, their eyes closed. He ran his hands along her back, left one there and brought the other to gently touch her cheeks. She leaned into the touch. What happened next was not entirely clear to either of them. But it didn't matter.

The lips of Hachiman Hikigaya met those of Yui Yuigahama, and the two of them were bathed in golden lights, drunk on one another.

A/N: It turned out a lot shorter than I was hoping, but this chapter has seriously given me the WORST writer's block of my life. There are so many different takes and tries I ran through it looked like I was beginning to run out of options, and I honestly considered scrapping this fic for a moment. But! I found the story again, and here we are. I finally have a battle plan for this fanfic, I think.

Thank you so much, to everybody. For waiting for this, for reading, for reviewing, for following, for favoriting, for PMing me asking me to keep going. Each and every one of you have been on my mind as I grit my teeth and tried to find the story again. I hope all of you have a wonderful day or night, no matter where you are.