Chapter 6

I have to breathe deeply in and out a few times before I'm able to talk again.
"Power of love?" I ask.
Arthur nods.
"Yes, that's what the charm is called."
I feel how my cheeks are becoming even more red.
"Y-yes. A charm. It's a charm. Of course it is," I say awkwardly.
I feel so stupid. Of course he didn't meant he was in love with me or something like that. It's just what the charm is called. Arthur looks at me with prying eyes. I deliberately don't look at them.
"It's late. We should go to sleep" I say.
I wish he would stop staring at me like that. It makes me feel really uncomfortable.
"Y-you… don't mind sleeping in the same bed as me right? If you do then I can just-"
"It's okay," he says without letting me finish my sentence.
Without saying another word he goes under the blanket. When I have calmed myself down enough I go and lie next to him. My bed isn't really big so I can feel some parts of his body against mine. I can feel the adrenalin flowing in my veins. It doesn't matter how strong my desires become, I won't make them reality. Arthur can feel that something is wrong with me.
"Are you all right?" he asks.
It's too much. I must go away from him before I do something stupid.
"I'm fine. I will just sleep on the couch so you have more space," I say while I rise from the bed.
Suddenly Arthur clings to my arm.
"No! Don't! Please don't leave me alone!" he says with tears in his eyes.
Shocked about his expressive reaction I can only stare at him and then slowly wipe his tears away.
"Don't cry. I will stay by your side then," I say.
Arthur nods and lets go of my arm.
"But why don't you want me to leave?" I ask.
"Because… I feel a bit safer when I'm with you," he almost whispers.
I giggle inside. Safer? You should know my dear, that that isn't the case.
"Well then. I guess you left me no choice," I say while I lay down again.
I can still feel the adrenalin, but I think I will be able to handle it.
"Hey… Alfred?" Arthur asks.
"Yes?" I say.
"What were you to me?" he asks.
"W-what do you mean?" I say confused.
"I mean… You knew my name without me telling it so I though you knew me already when I was alive. What were you to me back then?"
I don't think I can answer that. It's too painful to talk about 'Arthur when he was still alive'. Just too painful. Arthur notices how I struggle with the question. He starts suggesting some answers.
"Like we were neighbors or we were acquaintances or we were friends or we were…" while he pauses he starts looking down; "lovers. You know, something like that."
Suddenly my body feels frozen. I don't have to try to hold my tears in, there are none left.
"We were… just friends," I say.
Desperately Arthur looks at me.
"Just friends?" he repeats.
It hurts really much to say it out loud, even thinking of it hurts, but it's the truth and I won't lie about it.
"Yes, just friends," I say again.
Somehow Arthur looks a bit disappointed.
"Is there something wrong?" I ask.
"No, not at all. I just thought that… I was your lover in the past because the me now seems really dear to you," Arthur says with a sad expression on his face.
For the last time I let my lips form the painful words.
"We weren't loves, but you are dear to me indeed," I say.
Just now I thought I saw happiness in Arthurs eyes. It wasn't in his eyes for long, but I would swear I saw it sparkle. Arthur puts his arms around me. I gasp shocked for air, I didn't saw that coming.
"Thank you…" he whispers.
No, thank you…

I slowly open my eyes. Bright light is shining through the white curtains. I sit up, rub the sleep out of my eyes and then stretch my arms. I take my glasses from the nightstand and put them on. I happily look down on the little Angel who's laying next to me. He's still sleeping. His chest is slowly going up and down and his head, which looks even more angelic now, is laying so peacefully on the white cushion. I could stare for hours at him when he's like this. He just looks so… adorable. I could take him in my arms and squeeze him together. The only thing the stops me doing it is the fact that he won't appreciate it so much. But I shouldn't complain. Even if he doesn't want me to squeeze him, even if he doesn't remember me, I still have him by my side, and that is all that matters to me. I carefully come out of the bed so I won't wake up Arthur. I tiptoe as silently as I can out of my room and open and close the door as soft as possible.
When I come in the living room I'm surprised to see Matthew sitting at the dining table. He normally isn't up this early. He must have heard me come in because he stops reading the newspaper and looks up at me.
"Good morning," he says.
"Morning," I say.
I walk to the kitchen and make some breakfast for myself. Just a bowl of cornflakes with milk and some coffee, not anything special. When I'm done making my breakfast I go sit down next to Matthew and start eating. Matthew amused looks at my breakfast.
"No eggs, bacon and toast today?" he asks.
I shrug my shoulders.
"You know I'm too lazy to make that every morning," I say.
Matthew giggles. Maybe it's a bit weird to think this of someone you see as your brother but I find it terribly cute when he giggles like that.
"Just kidding. Just kidding" he says.
I nod and eat the rest of my breakfast. Matthew keeps staring at me. What is it with all these people these days.
"Something wrong?" I asks.
Matthew shakes his head.
"No nothing. You just seem really happy today. Did you meet someone?"
I almost choke in my coffee. Matthew smiles at me with a curious look. By almost choking in my coffee I just admit that thatis the case. I clear my throat before answering his question.
"No not really," I lie.
"Don't lie to me. You can tell me. That's what brothers are for right?"
"No really, there is nothing."
I look away from Matthew so him can't see my red face.
"That must be such a lucky girl to have you be all ashamed like that by me wanting you to tell me about her."
"Wait… what?" I say confused.
"That the girl you're in love with is one of the luckiest in the world" Matthew answers.
"G-girl?" I ask.
Matthew surprised looks at me but then his expression changes again to the curious one before.
"Oh, so you're in love with a boy then. Is that why you won't tell me? You know I have no problems with you loving a boy, don't you?"
I'm too confused to say something back. My face is now even more red.
"W-well… I…"
Matthew lays his finger on my lips to shut them.
"We will talk about this later, but now I have to go," he says.
Before I'm able to ask him where he is going, he already left.