Hey everyone, sorry for the LONG hiatus, but I'm back. From this chapter there we'll be some time jumps. In this one is a jump of about a year, the moment of the graduation of Alistair, Jane, Madison, Mason and Spencer.
Moreover, this story is about to end, three more chapters and it will be done. But fear not! The ending that I have planned (done) will be something that has everyone happy.
I will always be with you
Since the beginning of the week the letters that dictate our future have begun to arrive, those which say if we will be able to leave one of the most boring places in the face of Earth; the ones that says if we will be able to give a much bigger step in our lives.
I look at the remaining letters in the coffee table in the house of the McCarthy's, the one which corresponds to Madison, a simple envelope with a stamp from California, and the two that are mine; one sent from Massachusetts and other one from New York.
"C'mon Madi, open it!" Madison pounces on the paper, she opens it with great delicacy and her eyes travels on the paper. They stop in the middle and her smile widens, her eyes gets moisten and she begins to hyperventilate.
"Yes, I did it! California, here I come!" Mason extends his arms and wraps her in a squeezing hug. He releases her and I hug her too, I'm really happy for her. And she will be considerably far away from me and her brother, I'll be free from my new friend Madison McCarthy.
"It's your turn, Spens".
For the enthusiasm that Madison's good news provokes in me I tear a part from the paper, but when I unfold it and start reading it I stop feeling guilty for doing so. Rejected. I will not attend New York University with Mason.
I crump the paper and throw it to the burning fireplace, I collapse in the couch and slip so much that I almost hit the floor. I knew that I had to improve my grades more, become the first of the class for them to accept me without any objection, make lots of extracurricular activities for them to not hesitate to accept me for even a single minute.
However, I breathe a sigh of relief and a slight laugh accompanies it. I don't know what the hell I was thinking for wanting to study medicine… though I remember, I wanted the prestige, and the complete acceptance from dad, for walking randomly with a white coat, boasting of all the things I learned in my years of school and the many lives that I could have saved.
No, definitely no.
In short that's not the life that I want. Furthermore, its medicine, one of the most complicated and exhausting careers worldwide, I would have to stop doing so many of my favorite activities and spend every day with my head buried in books and laboratories.
"So? Where did your future pushed you?" Madison asks, smiling and happy to know that she earned her place at the University of California.
"Madison, he didn't make it…" Mace responds, the tone of his voice is so low that he almost seems embarrassed by the fact that I can't join him in the new history that would begin in New York, the two of us and Alistair.
I can't believe he managed to get into NYADA, Kurt said that this Carmen Tibideaux was a soulless witch, and that she will destroy Alistair so much that he wouldn't be able to recognize his own name.
"Yeah, I didn't make it" I say, feeling that I run out of air. I see Mason, shrugging and walking around the room.
"Well, you haven't opened the other envelope yet" she says, biting the nail of her index finger.
I look at the letter that is on the small table, for each second that I contemplate it, it seems to become larger and that a strange glow emanates from it; it's mocking of me like the stupid swan in the front door when Madison slams it on my face every time I'm here after midnight.
If the New York University didn't accept me, in which universe I can think that Harvard is going to do it? I mean, is Harvard, the college with the highest demand in all departments and schools that it can offer, the prestige that it has is so much that I'm sure I was rejected when they didn't even opened my application. I'm not material for that school, or for any other.
I stretch my hand and take the envelope, I watch it and roll it in my hands over and over again. This is it, this damn piece of paper is going to get me out of here, by hook or by crook. But… it will also going to split me from Al and Mace… perhaps forever.
Mason seems to hear my thoughts, he stops his stressful movements and sits beside me, taking my hand tightly and giving me a warm and sincere smile, as if he was saying that everything will be fine. Will it be?
"I'm not sure…" I say, leaning completely in the couch and releasing the air in a sigh.
"Oh, screw it" Madison exclaims, taking the envelope from my hand and opening it incredibly gently. "I'll handle it, the stress is killing me".
She gives it a quick look, her eyes widens when she reaches the middle and frowns, pursing her lips. She settles in the couch, crossing one leg over the other and her expression hardens. I cover my face with one of the cushions of the couch, Mace trace circles with his thumb in my hand and now I'm about to cry.
I'll stay in Lima. I'll stay to seek employment in any convenience store, or scrubbing the floors of the school or a library, I'll work removing trash from the streets or painting houses, selling real estate; I'll do anything that dad decides to impose to me, because that was the deal. If I couldn't go to any school I would have to find a job, whatever that I found.
"Don't tell me that…" Mace says, and his voice fading with every word says it all. I understand he realizes that his boyfriend is an idiot, a loser, and that I will not accomplish anything beyond the community college, if luck decides to smile at me.
"Yeah…" I move the cushion from my face, Madison looks up and begins to jump in her place, and the white smile doesn't take long to appear. "You did it! Harvard accepted your application!".
I get up like a spring, I remove the paper from her hands while she pats my shoulders and screams like a rat, like the ones with which certainly I will work in the future. Harvard. Athletic scholarship. Psychology. Accepted. ACCEPTED.
A nervous laugh comes out of my throat, my hands shake and I start to mourn with joy. Jane would be happy to know the good news, if she wasn't busy at a family dinner to celebrate that she gets into Michigan University. She will be an amazing vet.
Mason gets up without a word, he climbs up the stairs so slowly that I can almost hear him asking me to follow him. Madison stares at a point in a space, something that she does when her inner psychic voice, the one that sometimes chats with Mason, is telling her something.
"Mace is sad" she says, without looking up from the space. "He wants you to go up".
Immaculately I put the letter in the envelope and leave it on the table, now it's the most valuable thing that I can have. I climb two steps at a time to hasten my way up, the door of his room is ajar. I open it and close it behind me.
"Did I do something wrong?" I ask, ashamed. I stand leaning against the door as I see him shaking and clenching his fists. "I thought you'd be happy because…".
"Of course you didn't do anything wrong, and I'm very happy for you. No, I'm proud of you, Harvard really is almost impossible".
I move forward to erase the distance between us, I put my hands on his waist and slid them until I can link them on his stomach. His body shakes per second that my hands move down his body, but he agrees and places his hands over mine.
"Then what happens?" I whisper against his neck.
"New York, Massachusetts" he sighs and moves his head backwards, so he can kiss my cheek and whisper against it. "They're very different places, the distance between them is huge… I don't think…".
I kiss him. My head moves and my lips meet his, he sighs and puts one of his hands behind my head, the other one firmly grasps my arm and his body arches a bit, making my hips to clash with his. I contract my toes to keep from moaning on his face.
"Everything will be fine Mason, that's for sure" I whisper against his lips, without opening my eyes.
"Spens, you really don't realize that we're going to be in different places?".
"Yes, I'm fully aware of it" he moves his head to avoid twisting his neck, and I take advantage of that motion to leave light kisses on the back of his neck. "Do you really think I want to lose all of this? Loosing you?".
I put my chin on his shoulder, he leans his head on mine and I'm the one who starts humming the lullaby he usually sings when we're in the same position, or when one of us is moody or sad.
"I will always be with you, one way or another I'll fix the fact that we're in different places" I rub my cheek against his and he laughs under his breath. "So I promise you that I will do my best, I'll give all of what I'm able so that my grades worth that they transfer me and that I can be with you in a nearby place. I promise".
I kiss him on the neck and he sighs reluctantly, I kiss him more times and it seems to lift his mood, because he laughs a little and shrugs while he tries to kiss me on the cheek.
"You're not going to get rid of me that easy" I assure him.
"You're not the one that…".
He releases my hands and I lift his shirt, I slip them inside and he gives such a high jump that he almost falls on my feet. His skin is so soft and has an aroma so delicious that my hands comes quickly to his chest, beginning to stroke it and the speed of his heart beat increases, the babbling doesn't slow to appear.
"What would you say… if we…?" with every pause I kiss him along the neck. I came to his ear and I capture his earlobe between my teeth, I exhale and he drops a sigh mixed with a moan. "You know, we take this to…".
I take his shirt hems and when they're about to leave fully exposed his abdomen he places his hands over mine and stops the shirt in that place. Finally he turns on his heels and his third leg is the first thing that strikes me.
"N-no… Spens… I…" I look down and when he realizes what I'm looking at he blushes wildly, pushing me by the arms and covering his face with both hands. "I'm not ready…".
"That's okay" I say, removing his hands from his cheeks and entwining them with mine. «I mustn't grumble, I mustn't grumble, I mustn't grumble». "Also, Madison is downstairs".
"Yeah… I don't think I want her to hear me moaning…".
The door of his room opens, we stand side by side firmly, as firm as if we belong to the army or something of that sort of thing. I'm relief to see the silver eyes and long hair of Alistair in the doorframe. His hair has grown so much that it almost reaches half of his back.
"Were you about to start the movie night without me?" Alistair crosses his arms and inflates his cheeks. "That's not fair".
"Of course not, Al" Mace says, gritting his teeth and glaring at him. I give him a nudge in the ribs. "We were about to begin".
"Perfect, because I brought some snacks".
"Great, the three of us could be down, and we can tell Madison that she's invited" I say, trying to lighten the mood.
"I think that's a great idea. I'll tell her".
He leaves the room with a smile, closing the door behind him. Mason stands in front of me, taking me by the head and pulling me, making the kiss that he gives me aggressive and violent, but something totally enjoyable.
"I love you, Spens…" he moves away and caresses my cheek.
"Me t…" «You can't answer that like that!». "I love you too, Mace".
He kisses me on the cheek, he takes my hand and we go down to the living room, the only thing that brightens the room is the fire in the fireplace and the brightness of the flat screen on the wall.
I drop into the couch, Mason puts his head on my lap and hugs my leg, I start playing with his hair while Alistair puts his head on my shoulder and I lean mine on his. Madison doesn't avoid looking at me, rolling her eyes and swallowing hard, devouring the bowl of popcorn in the single armchair.
The first film showing is Titanic, I roll my eyes and move my head back, Al hugs my left arm and sighs. I close my eyes and replay the movie in my head for the twentieth time. It's Mason's favorite movie, and since Alistair joined us we watch it almost every week that we can do our movie marathon.
My body starts to feel lighter, my breathing encompasses and I don't want to open my eyes. I guess it will not kill me if I fall asleep a couple of minutes, after all I'm about to memorize all the dialogues and scenes.
The togas and berets of the characteristic McKinley's scarlet red color, the parents and relatives of those who are going to graduate in the rows of the auditorium, friends and students from the classes and clubs, all gathered to celebrate another big step in the life of every student who has the privilege of this: graduation from high school.
After an emotional speech from the now principal Will Schuester about the journey that represented for him bringing the arts to schools, all the conflicts and obstacles that Sue tried to stand in his way but he could step over them, the people he met during the generations of the choir he could manage, the songs he played and all the emotions they brought, the good wishes for our future life and success in our careers, it's time for the delivery of the diplomas.
Many people, me included, wipe away the tears that those words brought afloat, because he's right, and all that is reflected in McKinley being now a school for the arts.
The principal Schuester, the new title that he portrays, and it sounds weird, begins to say the names of people whom I don't have the faintest idea of who they are. Mason's hand squeezes mine harder each time the places are being left empty.
The worst part comes later, when we have our diplomas and have made our final celebration as the graduating class, when Myron has finished giving his speeches and words of encouragement, along with the jackets that he drafted himself as gifts.
"Mason and Madison McCarthy" says the new principal.
I nudge him in the ribs, he smiles and stands up, now holding hands with Madison and walking to the podium, where Will gives them their diplomas. They hug and lift them up, one more victory.
I hate having to leave almost immediately that this is over, but the letter of Harvard says that I have to fix some problems with the scholarship I applied for, along with the hosting and schedules. Mace knows I have to go, the shirt that he soaked yesterday in tears knows, but that's something that any kind of cosmic force could reverse.
I would have liked to accompany Mason and see that great city, everything that that suburb can offer to him, know where he will live together with Alistair, know the new needs and fears of both of them. It will be a very strange future for all of us.
"Spencer Porter".
I get up and walk to the podium, I squeeze the hand of principal Schuester while he hands me the diploma, I put it up and see my parents standing, clapping, and screaming with tears rolling from their eyes. Out of the corner of my eye I see Mason, doing exactly the same as them.
I stand between Mason and Madison, he doesn't take even two seconds to give me his right hand. Alistair takes my left hand and smiles at me, I restrain myself to not kiss them at this very moment, if I do then our parents would have the trauma of a lifetime.
"Ladies and gentlemen" says Mr. Shue, delivering the final diploma to a girl of who I don't know her name. "I present to you the William McKinley High class of 2016!".
The screams of exhilaration become totally deafening. The berets are the first to be thrown into the air, followed by our shouts of enthusiasm and happiness, tears of all of us and the group hugs.
Jane, Alistair, Mace, Madison and I walk in a circle away from the rest of the people, we have the warmest hug that any of us has received in our lives. It hurts to be separated from them so soon, I really want to go to the party that Jane is going to give, I wanted to spend with them a few more hours before we all had to go in different ways… that maybe, and I hope that doesn't happen, are never again going to find.
I'm going to miss all of this, standing on a stage, singing ballads, pop songs, rock, Broadway style that Rachel and Kurt loves, original songs; reflect my feelings in all the performances.
I'll miss my high school life.
"So" he says, looking at his feet and kicking a few pebbles. "Is this now our goodbye?".
"Don't say that" I reply, settling the boxes to have more space for the others. "Consider it a 'see you in the weekend when you're already settled in New York'".
He hands me another box, I wink and give him a kiss on the cheek, just as I did with the other seven boxes he has given me. He sighs and smiles, then turns away, like if he doesn't wanted me to be away.
"It's gonna be very weird being in such a big city with no one that I know next to me".
"You'll have Alistair" I say, he arches an eyebrow and inflates his cheeks.
"Again, it's gonna be very weird being in such a big city with no one that I know next to me".
I laugh under my breath, I put the last box in the car and shut the trunk. Immediately I do it he slips his arms around my waist, entwining his hands in my stomach and giving me a kiss in the middle of my shoulders.
"Miss me as much as I'm gonna do it" he fights to keep his voice for cracking. I push his hands for a moment and I can turn on my heels, letting his hands stay on my waist.
"I already am".
He pounces on me, placing his lips on mine in an incredibly sudden move that I have to hold him by the shoulders so that I don't fall, I can't remember they were so broad.
My unconscious makes me to cross my hands behind his neck and pull him closer to me, exchanging the position we normally take. His tongue caresses my lower lip and the battle for dominance, which tends to take my breath away, it's taking place in my mouth, pushing all my sanity and self-control away.
"I really don't want you to go…" he murmurs on my lips.
"I know… but I have to…".
I get in the car and close the door in fast movements, I down the window and his hand quickly takes my free hand.
"I'll see you in a couple of days" I say, looking straight ahead. I force myself to not look into his eyes, those eyes that express all the sadness that he's experiencing from inside. "I love you, Mason. You can't imagine how much" I give up a second and look at him, he blushes and lows his gaze.
"I love you too, Spencer. Almost as much or more than you".
Before starting a cheesy fight about who loves who more, which I wouldn't want to end in a lifetime, I start the engine and keep looking straight ahead.
"Drive carefully".
"As always" I begin to step on the gas, he kisses me one last time on the cheek and his hand still grips me so hard until the movement of the car prevents us to continue with our touch. I don't want to leave him here.
I drive a few meters and I finally look in the rearview mirror, I see him sitting on the sidewalk, his legs closer to his body and placing his head on them. I hold my urge to step on the break, step on the reverse and just don't be away from him.
Mason has become something completely vital for me, thinking that I will not see him so often compresses my chest and makes my hands sweat. I'm anxious about what might happen in the time of moves, settle into our new schools, and meet the arounds… meet new people. I shake my head and step on the accelerator.
I'm not running from Mason, I'm accelerating and moving forward so we can both get out of here and we can start new lives elsewhere, always by the hand of the other, like I promised to him and Alistair. I will not change my mind…
Because I love him, and I'll fix this.