Disclaimer: Disclaimer: Sadly, I own nothing associated with Marvel, Captain America, the Avengers, etc. Only original characters and ideas are mine.
AN: Quick note: I won't be updating next week, as I'll be out of town and without access to a computer. I will post as soon as I can when I get back. In the meantime, please enjoy the chapter, and don't forget to review. Thanks!
Chapter 7: A Safe House:
The sun was just rising when I woke up, tucked up snuggly in one of the bunk beds in the plane. Beside me, Steve sipped a cup of coffee and chewed on something out of my view, his eyes focused on the floor as he apparently forced himself to eat and drink.
All around the plane, the rest of the group were at various stages of having a morning meal, though everyone was sipping coffee, which filled the confined space with its rich, aromatic scent. Bruce was eating a cup of instant oatmeal with sliced bananas; Tony was popping dried fruits and trail mix, while Natasha and Thor munched on breakfast sandwiches. Barton was still piloting, but with a to-go thermos of instant soup in a cup holder beside him.
Obviously, the sleeping pills I'd put in everyone's tea had worn off. They were only good for about five or six hours, at most, so it was no surprise when everyone had gotten up so early. Though, I figured Natasha had possibly built up a tolerance for that sort of thing, and I had no idea what Asgardian physiology was like, so who knew what time Thor had woken up.
When Steve noticed I was awake, he finished off his food and put his coffee aside so that he could hand me a cup of hot chocolate and a sandwich with eggs and bacon on it. The sandwiches were a staple always kept on the planes, since I couldn't stand the thought of my friends trying to subsist on granola or protein bars.
I accepted my food with a weak smile for my husband, and began eating. The food was heavy and hearty, but since I hadn't eaten in some time, I welcomed it. The hot cocoa gave me a bit of a sugar boost that cleared away the last bits of drowsiness that still lingered.
"Thanks for the sleep drugs, Adena; I really needed it," Tony said out of the blue, his mouth full of food as he winked at me. "Natasha told me about your special mix to the tea."
I sighed. "I just wanted you guys to try and get a little shut-eye. You certainly needed it."
Natasha gave a sympathetic smile at my guilt-ridden face. "Don't worry, we don't blame you," she assured me. "I didn't sleep well, but thanks to you, I did sleep a little."
"Indeed," Thor stated. "My rest was far from quiet, but I am grateful to have at least had it."
Bruce finished off his oatmeal, tossed the container into the trash, and came to sit by me on the lower bunk bed I occupied. "Tranquilizers don't really work well on me, but I'm glad you thought to give me one anyway. I appreciate it."
Steve didn't say anything, but then, I hadn't tried to drug him, which we knew would have been useless. He did give me a smile, though, which was enough to assure me that he'd also slept, at least a bit, and had probably been the one to tuck me into bed.
"Better finish your food soon," Barton called back suddenly. "We're almost there."
"Almost where?" I asked, looking over at Steve, who shrugged.
"We've been asking him that for an hour, and he just won't say," he replied, scowling in the direction of our pilot.
Well, if we were going to land soon, I didn't want to have a hot beverage in my hand!
I polished off my meal, and after Bruce returned to his seat, Steve slid in beside me and put an arm around my shoulder. Pulling me close, he put his nose against my ear and sighed –that was the signal something was wrong with him, and I knew what it had to be.
Turning my head so that my words reached only his ears, I whispered, "What did she make you see?"
Steve's arm tightened around my waist, and I knew the answer. He'd been shown the thing the scared him most, and that was the fear of losing me. Words were a bit useless at this point; I simply snuggled close, pressed a kiss to his lips, and leaned my head against his shoulder, the two of us remaining that way until we felt the plane begin to descend.
About half an hour later, we touched down in a large field attached to a big farmhouse.
Puzzled, we stayed quiet as we followed Barton out of the plane and along a path that led to the house. The whole walk, Barton supported Natasha with one arm, while Steve and I looked as though we were glued to each other's side.
As we approached the house, I couldn't help but look around at the idyllic sight. The house was a quaint faded yellow (or really aged white), at least two levels (with a possible attic at the top), and a wrap-around porch. It looked as though it belonged in a lemonade commercial, or a scene from The Wizard of Oz.
Barton led us through a swinging screen door, calling out, "Honey? I'm home!"
A woman with long dark hair appeared from another room, a surprised and puzzled look on her face when she saw us all standing in her house. I quickly noticed that she was pregnant, and even though Tony was insisting that she had to be an agent of some kind, it was clear from the way she acted that this woman had to be Barton's girlfriend or wife.
"Everyone," Barton said to all of us, "This is Laura."
She gave us an awkward wave and a smile. "I know all of your names."
Above came the rapid footsteps of several pairs of feet racing for the stairs. Barton looked up with a smile and gave us an apologetic warning of, "Incoming," as two young kids appeared; a boy and a younger girl.
"Daddy!" cried the little girl as she was swept up into her father's arms.
"These are…smaller agents," Tony tried to reason out loud, as though he could make that true.
"Did you bring Auntie Nat?" the girl eagerly asked her dad as she looked up at him with wide eyes.
"Why don't you hug her and find out?" Natasha replied, sweeping up the eager girl into her arms.
Steve shifted uncomfortably on his feet as he apologized for barging in on the unsuspecting family.
"Yeah, we would have called, but we were busy having no idea that you existed," Tony sarcastically remarked, crossing his arms and clearly looking offended at having not been let in on his team member's secret.
While the others appeared to be trying to process the fact that Clint Barton, the oh-so-quiet Hawkeye, was married with kids, I watched the couple with a bit of envy. How had they managed to stay under the radar when Steve and I had to fight for privacy?
"Yeah, Fury set this up for me when I joined," Barton replied, his arms around his wife and son. "He kept it off of SHIELD's files. I'd like to keep it that way."
I, meanwhile, was kicking myself. Why hadn't I thought of that? I could have asked Fury to not put my marriage to Steve on the agency's files, so why hadn't I?
'Because you had no idea that SHIELD would fall,' I reasoned to myself. 'You didn't know about HYDRA, or any of that stuff. You thought that Fury would do everything possible to keep you and Steve safe, and to a point, he did.'
It was too late to change any of that now. People knew about me and Steve, and there was nothing to do but get used to it. Maybe, someday, it would calm down and we could try and live a bit of a normal life, but with the way things were going, it probably wouldn't be for a while.
"Hey, sweetie," Natasha was saying to Laura as she gave her a hug. "I've missed you." She looked at her friend's belly with a smile. "How's little Natasha doing?"
"She is…" Laura gave a small apologetic smile, "Nathaniel."
Natasha looked surprised before pouting a little as she bent towards the large bump. "Traitor," she whispered, though she clearly didn't look too upset.
Behind me, I heard heavy footsteps as one of the team headed outside. Turning, I caught Thor and Steve stepping out onto the porch, but didn't follow; it looked like a 'guys moment,' so I decided to stay where I was and get to know Barton's family better.
While Natasha, who was clearly familiar with the house, immediately went upstairs after greeting the family, Laura sent the children outside before turning her attention towards me, a welcoming smile on her face as she came to greet me.
"Mrs. Rogers?" she said, taking and shaking my hand. "I'm thrilled to finally meet you. Clint talks about you and Captain Rogers all the time."
I returned her smile. "Thanks. Your husband really is a great guy to be around."
She motioned towards the stairs. "Do you want to get cleaned up? I think, between what Nat has stored here and my own closet, we can get you cleaned up and find you something clean and comfortable to wear."
Excited at the prospect of a shower, I was more than willing to follow, but only after I was sure that everyone was accounted for and getting their own need seen to. I also wanted to wait for Steve, since I had no idea why he was outside with Thor.
When Steve came back in alone, I was surprised, but not as much as I was by his troubled expression. He wouldn't tell me what was wrong, but when I mentioned a shower and some clean clothes, he brightened up a little.
Laura led the remaining members of the group upstairs, and explained that there were three options we could use to clean up: a shower in the master bedroom suite, another in a guest bathroom, and one small bathtub tucked away in a back corner. Tony and Bruce took the guest bathroom, while Natasha claimed the bathtub. Laura was kind enough to let Steve and I have the master bath, and after picking out some clothing items for the others, she gave us permission to raid the closets for whatever fit us before heading to visit the rest of the group.
Left to our own devices, Steve and I stood in the middle of a large bedroom that wasn't ours, the silence awkward as we looked at one another, unsure as to who should break the quiet first. Finally, just as I was about to force myself to say something, Steve reached out and grabbed me, pulling me tightly into his arms as he pressed an urgent, passionate kiss to my lips.
Surprised, I stiffened, but didn't struggle, which only encouraged him. A minute later, I was swept up into my husband's arms and being carried into the bathroom, Steve kicking the door shut behind us.
"I saw you die," Steve whispered an hour later as he held me. "That was the vision playing in my head."
The two of us currently stood in the center of the bedroom again, only this time we were cleaned up and dressed in some clothes borrowed from our hosts' closets.
During our time in the bathroom, Steve hadn't said a word; he hadn't needed to. I knew that he had desperately needed me, and that need had been building since we'd left Africa. Now that his anxieties had been calmed, he was ready to talk about what had happened with the Maximoffs.
My arms around his neck, I murmured into his ear, "I know. Every time something bad happened to me, I could see the fear in your face. When you got onto the plane in Africa, I knew that's what you had to have seen."
I felt him take a deep breath. "I don't think I could bear it if something happened to you," he whispered, his voice tense as he held me.
"And I can't promise that nothing will," I replied. "Things happen; we both know that. The best we can do is try to move forward, have hope that things will turn out for the best, and have the courage and strength to see it all through."
He sighed again and nodded. "I know."
A loud knock on the closed door drew our attention, as did the voice coming through it. "Come on, Cap!" Tony called. "They need wood for the fireplace, and you and I got the job!"
This time, we both sighed as we slowly pulled back from one another. Steve gave me one last kiss before heading outside, and I was prevented from following by Laura coming and asking if I could help entertain the kids while she talked to Clint. I agreed, and headed downstairs, where my two charges were waiting.
Using the kids as a distraction was a brilliant plan. Granted, Laura mostly likely really did need someone to keep an eye on her little ones, but it was a way of hitting two birds with one stone.
As I entered the kitchen, the kids rushed up to me, introducing themselves to me as Cooper and Lila. Both had their mother's looks, their father's easy humor, and the blessed innocence, curiosity, and eagerness of children living a normal life on a farm.
Cooper was at that awkward age that teetered between childhood and teenage years, but he seemed to be clinging to childhood a bit longer. Energetic and cheerful, he loved showing me his report cards, artwork, and all sorts of things from his school. From the abundant amount of facts that poured from him, it was clear he was one smart kid.
Lila was a sweetheart, with large brown eyes that made me want to say 'aww' whenever I looked into them. She was full of questions about me, Steve, and the other Avengers, and as I brushed and redid her hair, I was more than happy to answer, though I was careful about what I said. Lila was only a kid, after all, and there were lots of things she really didn't need to know.
After a while, Clint came down and called for Cooper to join him outside to help with a project of some kind. Laura came into the kitchen, and when she saw her daughter in my lap, coloring in one of Lila's favorite coloring books, she smiled.
"Care for a cup of tea?" she offered. "It looks like you could use one."
I accepted, and smiled as Lila asked which color I wanted her to use on the flowers. I told her to surprise me, and laughed as she colored each petal a different color, making for a very psychedelic picture. When Laura came to set my tea down, she saw the picture and laughed.
"Very nice, sweetie," she told her daughter. "Why don't you go upstairs and add it to the ones you want to show Auntie Nat?"
Lila gave me one last hug before grabbing the various coloring books and papers she'd been working on and vanishing upstairs, leaving us adults to ourselves. For a moment, things were quiet as Laura and I loaded milk and sugar into our tea, followed by us taking tentative sips and awkwardly avoiding eye contact.
Finally, Laura looked at me and smiled. "You know, Clint told me a lot about you and Captain Rogers. I've always wondered what you'd be like –the only other woman in the world married to an Avenger."
Chuckling, I sat back in my chair, the tea cup warm and comforting in my hands. "Oh, I'm nothing special, though Steve would argue otherwise. I was just an ordinary girl who got swept up by unusual people to do an unusual job. One thing led to another, and the next thing I knew, I was in love and married to Steve. Life had been one big adventure since the day I met him."
"I'll bet," Laura agreed. "I can't imagine how difficult it must be, though, living in the spotlight like you do. I know I couldn't do it."
I couldn't help but sigh. "It is pretty hard. Things weren't so bad when Nick Fury was looking out for us, but ever since the events in Washington D.C. last year, it's gotten harder to lead a normal life. Tony helps when he can, but walking around with security guards hovering over you just makes things worse. All we can do is put up with it and go on with our lives."
Looking at the table, I noticed that Lila had left one of her pictures behind, one of a very odd-shaped whale, or an elephant. "They're great kids. Cooper is quite smart, and Lila is just adorable." I glanced at her belly and grinned. "I'm sure little Nathaniel is going to turn out just as great as his older siblings."
Laura chuckled and rubbed her bulging stomach. "Well, I'm not looking forward to being outnumbered, but I do count us blessed."
She snuck a glance at me. "Have you and the Captain ever thought about kids?"
Now that was a question, one which had no clear answer.
The topic of children wasn't one that popped up often in my marriage to Steve. We were always too busy; first with Steve's work for SHIELD, then with the whole agency toppling, leaving us unprotected and Steve unemployed. After that, there had been our search for Bucky, and now with the Avengers doing their heroics around the world, the idea of kids never really popped up.
Deep inside, I knew that Steve and I both thought about having them. Steve would be a great dad, and I could just picture him tossing a little boy or girl up into the air, the two of them laughing and having a wonderful time.
But what would we do after we had a baby? Once this whole thing with Ultron was over, Steve would certainly go back to saving the world, leaving me behind with an infant. I didn't want to raise a child by myself, like Laura was doing –I wanted Steve to play a part in our child's life. Oh, he would try and be there, but how often would he be allowed to take a break from saving the world to spend time with me and our child? If he quit being Captain America, he would be viewed as being selfish by the public; if he didn't, the time he spent with us would, at best, be minimal.
'He'd have to choose between our family, and being Captain America. He would have to pick either his own life, or the lives of everyone he could possibly save.'
It was an impossible choice, and one I wasn't sure Steve would be able to make. Would he choose a family over the greater good? I know that would tear him in two –he was a noble, good-hearted man, and being selfish wasn't in his nature.
On the other hand, I knew that Steve loved me more than anything in the world, and that he would literally rip the world apart to save me and keep me safe. And if we had children, I had no doubt that he would do the exact same thing for them.
"Complicated, huh?" Laura asked, an understanding smile on her face. "I'm glad Clint and I didn't wait. I support his 'Avenging,' but when I look at the others that make up the team, they're all basically gods among men. I know that they need someone like Clint, and you, to keep them grounded and human, and I know the world needs heroes, but our children also need a father."
Her words made me realize something I'd ultimately forgotten. Steve really was more than a normal man: he had that scientific serum in him. If we had children, would they turn out like him, or like me? Would I give birth to a future Captain America, or a completely normal child who might resent being unable to follow in their father's footsteps?
My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of small feet rushing downstairs, and I soon found myself with Lila back in my lap, a large, pink plastic box in her hands that rattled when it shifted.
"What have you got there?" I asked as she began unlatching the top.
"Hair stuff!" she cheerfully told me when the lid popped open, revealing dozens of hair accessories.
Uh, oh; apparently I was in for a makeover.
Wiping some sweat from his brow, Steve headed inside. Tony had gone off into the barn to fix a broken tractor, leaving Steve to finish chopping wood for the stove. It didn't bother him, though; he'd needed time to think.
Inside his head, he was struggling to process the idea of Clint Barton having a family and a quaint, quiet house far away from the troubles of the world. It was everything Steve had wanted all his life, tied up in a neat package, and it belonged to someone else.
Well, that was a bit unfair. Steve did (in his opinion) have the best woman in the world as his wife. Adena had stayed with him through thick and thin, supporting him all through that disaster in Washington and with Bucky. She had agreed with the idea of re-assembling the Avengers, knowing that he would be putting his life in danger time and again.
But it was the normal life that Steve craved, for him and Adena. A nice house someplace safe, where they could go settle down and, some day, start a family. It was something Steve had always wanted, and when he'd met Peggy Carter, he'd imagined that sort of life for them after the War.
And yet, on closer thought, he knew that it wouldn't have happened, not with Peggy. She had worked long and hard to become an agent for her government, and it had taken time for him to realize, after emerging in this century, that she would never have given all that up easily. Peggy had loved being an agent, and she had been good at it; as much as she might love Steve, she'd never have given up her job without a fight. There would have been endless arguments between them, with Steve asking her to try and be a normal wife and mother, and Peggy telling him that being an agent was part of who she was -a part that she had no intention of tossing aside.
In Adena, Steve had a wife who loved him more than anything in the world, and would do anything to make sure that he was happy, whether or not it made her happy. She did everything she could to help his fellow Avengers and him when they were in battle, and would stay up well into the early morning hours, making sure they were in good health after a fight.
But having someone he considered the perfect match for him was only half of his dream. When would he be able to achieve the other? He wanted to see little girls and boys running around a house in the suburbs, with him and Adena keeping a sharp eye on the kids as they played in the yard.
Sighing, Steve finished chopping and headed inside, the sound of a little girl's laughter drawing him to the kitchen. There, he found Adena with Clint's daughter in her lap; their hair was pulled into braids and ponytails, decorated with various hair clips and ties. Laura Barton looked on in amusement as she prepared dinner, apparently comfortable with this complete stranger looking after her child.
The sight of Adena with a little girl in her lap made Steve's breath catch in his throat. Maybe, once this whole mess was over, they would have a very long talk about their future.
AN: Review?