I own none of the characters of Bones
"This mark here on the frontal bone could possibly be cause of death but I'm not sure what it is." Bones commented to Cam as she examined the skull.
"What do you need to determine what it is?" Cam asked her.
"Time." Bones snapped.
"I can give you that." Cam told her walking away.
Once she was alone Bones continued her examination of the skull. Over the past month everyone at the lab has been walking on eggshells around her. She was introverted, she rarely spoke to her coworkers and when she did she was usually snapping at them.
"Dr. Brennan, I brought you the…" Wendell said walking up behind her and for the first time in her career, Bones dropped the skull she was examining and it shattered into a ton of pieces.
"God dammit look what you made me do." Bones shouted at her intern.
"I'm so sorry Dr. Brennan. I didn't mean to…Here I'll reconstruct the skull." He stuttered nervously.
"No you won't. I'll do it."
"It's my fault so I'll take care of it."
"I said I'll do it." She yelled. "You've already done enough damage and I can't afford any more screw ups. Now get the hell off my platform and let me fix this." Wendell quietly slunk off the platform and disappeared from the lab. Angela who watched the entire scene unfold stormed up the stairs.
"What the hell was that?" Angela asked her friend.
"I beg your pardon."
"There was no reason to yell at Wendell like that. He didn't drop the skull Bren. You did."
"This is none of your concern Angela. Just because you are sleeping with one of my interns does not give you the right to interfere with how I run my lab." Tears filled Angela's eyes.
"That's uncalled for Bren." Angela turned around and walked away from her friend before she said something that couldn't be taken back.
--
"You have to help her." Angela announced walking into Booth's office.
"Huh?" Booth looked up from his paperwork with a blank expression on his face.
"You have to do something."
"There is nothing I can do. She won't let me in. What happened?"
"She's being a total bitch, which after what she went through she has every right to be but I can't take much more of it. She's just being plain mean." Angela collapsed on a chair in front of Booth's desk and tears rolled down her cheeks.
"What happened?" He repeated
"Well today she was examining a skull and Wendell came up to her. She must not have heard him and it scared her and she dropped the skull and it shattered."
"Bones dropped a skull?"
"Yes and then she blamed Wendell for it. He offered to reconstruct it but she wouldn't let him. When I confronted her about the way she treated him she said some really hurtful things to me." Angela took a deep breath. "It's not Bren anymore Booth. My best friend is gone."
"What do you want me to do?"
"Get off your ass and get her back." Angela yelled. "Fight for her."
"She doesn't want me." He yelled back, his own tears falling. "She has refused my help and kicked me out of her life. I've tried Ange but I can't help her."
"Since when do you give up so easily?"
"Do you think this has been easy for me? Sitting on the sidelines, watching as the woman I love fall apart before my eyes. She's pushing me away. She's told me that she doesn't love me, that she doesn't want me in her life so what the hell am I supposed to do Angela because if you have the answer I would sure as hell love to hear it." He snapped, rather loudly at her.
"I don't know Booth but I'm worried about her. I don't think that she is getting much, if any sleep at all and she's drinking a lot. The few times she has let me hang with her she is putting away alcohol like its water. I'm scared for her Booth…so scared." Angela put her face in her hands and sobbed. Booth pushed away from his desk, walked over and sat next to Angela and put an arm around her.
"I don't know what to do Ange. I've tried everything I can think of and she won't let me in."
"Can you try again, please? If she'll let anyone in it will be you."
"Of course I will. You know that I would do anything for Bones. I'll finish up some paperwork and I'll come by the lab." Angela leaned over and hugged her friend.
"I'll see you soon."
An hour later Booth walked into the lab, a place that he hasn't spent a lot of time in during the last month. When she first told him that she hated him he continued to come to the lab as he always did but she ignored him unless she had information for a case. Since she refused therapy she still wasn't allowed out in the field so she was just consulting in the lab. Eventually he stopped coming around unless there was information on a case. He stood back and watched her work and for a minute everything was like it was before the kidnapping but only for a short minute. Taking a deep breath he swiped his card and walked up the platform steps.
"Hey Bones." She lifted her head and looked at him.
"What are you doing here?"
"I was wondering if there was any new information on the case."
"Have I called you with any information?" He shook his head. "Then there is no new news."
"Okay then well do you want to go grab something to eat?" Over the past month Booth had noticed that she had lost a lot of weight. Her blue lab coat that used to fit her very nicely now just hung off of her body.
"I'm in the middle of reconstructing this skull. Does it look like I can stop what I'm doing and go grab something to eat?" Bones snapped.
"I can go pick up some Thai and bring it back so you wouldn't have to leave."
"I'm not hungry."
"You need to eat Bones."
"I know that I need to eat and when I get hungry I will eat. Now do you need anything else or can I get back to work?"
"Go back to work and call me if you learn anything." She didn't respond. She just turned back to her skull, away from him.
Booth left the platform but he did not leave the lab. He wanted to hang around and observe her for awhile and see what he could learn. Silencing his phone he found a spot that he could sit and watch Bones work and she wouldn't see him and since it was the end of the day most of the lab techs have left for the day so he knew his hiding place was safe. He felt like a peeping Tom but he felt she had left him with no other choice. She wasn't letting him or anyone else for that matter help her and before he could determine what needed to be done or how he could help her he needed to see for himself how bad things really were.
The first hour proved to be relatively boring. He watched as she glued the skull back together. Just when he thought that he was going to die from boredom he saw her place the skull on the cold metal table and retreat to her office. From his hiding spot he had and great view of her office and he assumed that when she reached for her purse that she was preparing to leave for the day but it wasn't the case. He watched as she reached into her purse, pull a bottle of pills out, swallow a couple and then she returned to platform.
"Okay." Booth thought to himself. "Maybe she started seeing a therapist and she's on an antidepressant. Maybe she is taking the steps on her on to get help but why wouldn't she tell me or Angela. Why is hiding it form us, from me? God dammit Bones, why won't you let me in?" He seriously considered sneaking into her office and seeing what was in the pill bottle but he restrained himself. He refused to stoop to the level of snooping through her purse, no matter how much he wanted to.
For the next couple of hours Booth stayed at the lab, watching Bones reconstruct the skull. When the skull was back in one piece he assumed that she would leave for the night but she didn't, she continued to examine it looking for cause of death. Finally, when he couldn't sit still anymore he decided to call it a night. He figured that there was nothing else that he could learn by spying on her.
"Agent Booth, it's been a long time. How are you?" The security guard Nathan asked Booth as walked past the security desk.
"I'm good Nate. How are Carrie and the new baby?"
"Carrie is great. She is really adjusting to motherhood and Lexie is amazing. Little girls are truly gifts from God don't you think?"
"I wouldn't know. I just have a son and he is pretty great himself." Nathan laughed.
"Working on a case with Dr. Brennan tonight?"
"Something like that. Can I ask you something Nate?"
"Shoot."
"How late did Dr. Brennan work last night?" Nate pulled his clipboard out and flipped a couple of pages.
"She actually signed out at 5:30 this morning."
"And when did she sign back in?"
"8:03."
"What about the past couple of nights? When did she sign out?" More page flipping.
"All week Dr. Brennan has signed out between 5 and 5:30 and she has returned about 8 every morning."
"Thanks Nate. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Have a good night Agent Booth."
"You too Nate."
As Booth walked out of The Jeffersonian he was more worried about Bones then he was when he walked in. Even though he didn't know it Nathan confirmed for him that Bones has not been sleeping, there was no way that she could be and he had no idea how she was making it through her days on no sleep. Climbing into his SUV he knew exactly what he had to do.
--
It was 6:15AM when the elevator doors opened to the floor of Bones' apartment building. As she stepped off of the elevator she immediately noticed the figure standing at the end of the hall in front of her apartment. The figure was wearing a black leather jacket, jeans and a baseball cap. Even though his back was facing her she could tell by body type that he was a male. In one swift movement Bones reached into her purse and pulled out the gun she bought for protection.
"The stairs are to your left." Bones spoke to the stranger. "If you just turn and walk to the stairs without trying anything I will not shoot you." Even though her heart was pounding, her hand was perfectly still. The stranger began to turn towards her. "I said just go to the stairs. Don't turn and look at me." He didn't listen. He continued to turn towards her. Her eyes were filled with tears so the stranger before her became blurred but when he was facing her she didn't hesitate. She pulled the trigger.
"Jesus Bones." Booth yelped, leaping out of the way of the bullet. "What the hell are you thinking?"
"Booth?"
"Put the damn gun away and get over here." She quickly put the safety on the gun and just as she returned it to her purse a few of her neighbors opened their doors. "Don't worry folks." Booth pulled out his badge. "FBI here. I've got everything under control here. Sorry to disturb you." The neighbor's doors slowly closed. "Come on Bones. Let's get inside."
"What are you doing here?" She snapped as she dug through her purse for her keys.
"What the hell are you doing with a gun?"
"It's for protection." Her hands were shaking so bad she couldn't find her keys. She almost shot her partner. Booth reached out in an attempt to help her but she jerked away from him, dropping her purse on the floor in the process. "God dammit. Now look what you did." She fumed.
They both bent down to pick up the items that had fallen out. At the same time they both reached for the pill bottle but Booth got to it first. "Booth give that to me." She demanded nervously.
"What the hell is this?" Booth asked her after he read the label.
"Give me the damn bottle." She yelled.
"Bones keep your voice down." Booth grabbed her keys, stood and unlocked the door. "Come on inside and you can continue to yell at me." Grabbing her purse she stormed passed him with a glare and he followed her inside.
"Why are you here so early?"
"Why do you have a prescription for Ritalin?"
"I asked you to leave me alone. Why can't you do that?"
"I can't leave you alone because I love you and I'm worried sick about you."
"There is no need to worry about me. I'm fine."
"No you're not Bones. You have a gun for protection and you're shooting at people. You didn't know it was me standing by your door and you shot at me. What if I was your super checking something? You could have killed him. You can't go around shooting men who are around you. You're becoming a danger to yourself and other people Bones."
"I wasn't shooting to kill. I just wanted to scare him…or you away."
"You're not eating. You're drinking a lot. You are as thin as a rail. You're a nervous wreck. You jump at the littlest sounds. You're mean and nasty to your friends who love you and now you are taking Ritalin. I'm really worried about you Bones." When she saw tears in his eyes she had to turn away from him.
"You just don't understand." Bones whispered softly.
"I'm trying to. I want to. Will you help me understand?" Booth's tears fell down his cheeks.
When Bones didn't answer Booth went and sat on her couch while Bones went into the kitchen to start some coffee. The silence in the apartment was deafening. Their relationship had never been like this. They had always been able to talk, in any situation but not anymore. After ten agonizingly long minutes Bones returned to the living room, handed Booth a cup of hot coffee and then sat beside him on the couch. From the corner of his eye he saw that her hand was shaking as she held her own cup. He wanted to talk but he decided to wait to see if she would make the first move.
"I can't sleep." She finally whispered when he returned to the living room after refilling his coffee.
"What about the sleeping pills that the doctor at the hospital gave you? Aren't they working?"
"Let me rephrase. I can sleep. I'm just afraid to sleep so therefore I don't."
"When was the last time you really slept?"
"It's been a few days." Booth just gave her a look. "Okay maybe closer to a week."
"How have you been able to stay awake? Coffee only works for so long."
"I've been getting espresso shots in my coffee, I've been drinking caffeine drinks and that's where the Ritalin comes in. In most adults it acts as a stimulant and it has helped me stay awake."
"How did you get it? Don't you have to have an attention problem to get it?"
"In children yes and it's not something that's normally prescribed in adults. I went to a new doctor and convinced him that I had been on Ritalin for years and I needed it to function. I can be very convincing when I want to be."
"I know you can." He reached for her hand and she let him take it. "What you're doing, the coffee, the caffeine drinks, the pills; Bones it's not healthy."
"I don't know what else to do." She admitted softly.
"Bones why are you afraid to sleep?" He whispered softly and she looked at him with tears rolling down her face.
"My nightmares. They are so bad and they seem so real. Every time I fall asleep I'm back in that horrible shack and those men…those men are…and sometimes it's not just them."
"What do you mean?"
"Sometimes…sometimes in those nightmares it's you that's…"
"Oh my God Bones I would never hurt you."
"Not while I'm awake but you do in my dreams." She was sobbing softly now and she let Booth pull her to his chest.
"Bones, honey you have to get help. You can't continue to live like this. I'm scared for you. I want you to be happy again. I want to see you smile again."
"I don't think I can ever be happy again."
"You can try. Won't you try Bones? Don't you want to be able to sleep without having nightmares?" She nodded into his chest. "Will you talk to someone?"
"I'll talk to you."
"I can't help you but I'll be with you every step of the way, even if it's just sitting in the waiting room but I'll be there. Will you do it?"
"Not Sweets. I can't."
"I call him and get him to recommend someone who specializes in what you went through. Is that okay?"
"I…I'm scared."
"I know you are. Can I make the call?"
"You'll be there?"
"Every step of the way."
"You can make the call."
Not caring that he would probably be waking Sweets up he pulled out his phone and called their therapist. To his surprise Sweets sounded as if he was awake. Booth quickly told Sweets what he needed and he agreed to make a few calls and pull a few strings to get Bones in with the best therapist in the city today. He promised to text Booth with the appointment information. After hanging up with Sweets Booth called Cam and told her that Bones would not be in the lab today.
"Why did you that? I am perfectly capable of working until my appointment." Bones snapped when Booth hung up the phone.
"You need to sleep."
"Booth…I can't. I really can't."
"Yes you can. What if about if I'm here with you, right next to you? If you have a nightmare I'll try and wake you before it gets too bad but if I can't I'll be there when you wake up reminding you that you are safe."
"I'm so tired."
"I know sweetheart. Come on." She pulled away from his chest, he stood and with their hands still linked they walked to her bedroom. He turned the bed down and then he turned to her and saw that she was shaking. He couldn't believe how scared she was to go to sleep. "Bones I'm going to be right here." She nodded and then slowly climbed into bed under the covers.
"Where are you going?" She asked bolting up when he walked away from her bed.
"I'm going to bring a chair over next to your bed."
"Will you sit on the bed next to me? I would feel better knowing that you were…"
"Sure thing Bones." Walking over to the other side of the bed he kicked off his shoes and climbed in next to her. He arranged some pillows so he was half sitting, half lying beside her on top of the blankets. "You can lay down now." Surprising the hell out of him, she followed his directions but she laid her head on his abdomen and wrapped an arm around his waist. Feeling awkward and not knowing what else to do with his arm that was closest to her he wrapped it around her upper back. "Sleep well my sweet Bones." He whispered.
--
"Hey Bones wake up." He said softly, gently shaking her. She had been asleep for close to five hours. Quite a few times she had started whimpering but he always woke her before it turned into a full fledged nightmare.
"Booth?" She mumbled opening her sleep heavy eyes.
"Yeah it's me. How did you sleep?" She pulled herself out of his embrace and sat up.
"I didn't have any nightmares that I remember. Did I?"
"You started to cry but I woke you up before it got bad."
"Thank you. I have forgotten what it felt like to actually sleep."
"Anytime. That's what friends are for." She smiled shyly at him. "You're appointment is in an hour and a half. Why don't you grab a shower and then we'll go grab something to eat."
"I'm not hungry."
"Well I am." Flashing her a smile he got out of bed and she followed suit. "I'll be in the living room if you need anything."
"Booth." She called when he got to the bedroom door.
"Yeah?"
"Thanks…for everything."
"You are very welcome."
Forty five minutes later Bones came out into the living room looking refreshed from her shower and nap. She put make up on, something she hadn't done in weeks and her hair was down around her shoulders instead of pulled back off of her neck.
"You look nice, real pretty." Booth told her and he smiled when he saw a blush cover her cheeks.
"Thanks."
"So are you ready to go?"
"I suppose." Booth helped her into her coat and they walked in silence to his SUV. "So do you know anything about the therapist that I'm seeing?" She asked softly once they were on the road.
"Not much. Her name is Dr. Olivia Thompson."
"It's a woman?"
"Yeah. I thought that you would feel more comfortable talking about what happened to you with a woman and she is the best in her field, like you are."
"What field is that?"
"The field of helping rape victims deal with the rape and move on with their lives."
"What if I can't move on with my life Booth? What if being scared and having nightmares is my life now?" Booth parked in front of the diner and turned in his seat to face Bones.
"You can get past this Bones but it's not going to be easy. You're not going to walk out of your session today back to your normal self and your normal life. It's going to be a long road ahead and a lot of hard work. Are you ready for that?"
"I can't do it…by myself." She admitted.
"You don't have to do it by yourself. I'm here if you'll let me."
"Can we go inside now?" She said, clearing ending the conversation.
"Yeah we can go in."
They headed into the diner to their regular table. Besides pie, breakfast food in general is Booth's favorite food and thankfully the diner served breakfast all day so he was able to order both of his favorites. After a slight argument Bones finally ordered a bowl of soup although she insisted that she wasn't hungry.
"Why?" Bones suddenly asked.
"Huh?" Booth swallowed the bite of waffle that he had just taken. "Why what?"
"Why are you willing to help me after I told you that I hated you and wanted you out of my life?"
"You don't want to know."
"If I didn't want to know I wouldn't have asked."
"My reason is selfish." He told her honestly.
"Tell me."
"Eat half of your soup first."
"You're blackmailing me?"
"I sure the hell am. Now you know how it feels." She glared weakly at him but the blackmail worked. She began to eat her soup.
"Okay now tell me why you want to help me?" Bones requested when she was halfway through with her soup.
"Well there are two reasons actually." She looked at him, waiting for him to continue. "The first reason is I love you Bones. I love you as a partner, a friend and as the woman who I want to spend the rest of my life with and I want my partner, my friend and that woman to be happy again."
"That doesn't sound selfish Booth."
"That's not the selfish reason Bones."
"What is the selfish reason?"
"I want you to be happy again because I want a chance to explore what we started before you left. I want to know what we could be together. I want to know how good we can be together. I want to know if I'm the man who can truly make you happy because I know that you are the woman that makes me truly happy." When he saw a look of agony cross over her face he wanted to kick himself. His gut told him not to tell her but she asked and he couldn't lie to her.
"I need some air." She blurted out and bolted from the table.
"Dammit." Booth threw some cash on the table and followed her outside. "Bones…I…" He found her pacing next to his SUV.
"Can we just go?"
"Yeah sure." I unlocked the door and she jumped in and they drove in silence to the therapist's office. "We're here."
"I realize that."
"Are you ready?"
"No. I need a few minutes. Do I have time?" Booth looked at his watch and then nodded. "Would you like to be alone because I can wait outside?"
"Please stay." She requested.
"I'm not going anywhere."
"Thank you." She began to pick at an invisible piece of lint on her pants. "What if I can't give you what you want after this is all said and done?" Bones finally whispered.
"What are you talking about?"
"I don't think that I will ever be able to be intimate again. The thought of having sexual intercourse again makes me physically sick. I think that you should find someone that can satisfy your biological urges." Booth sighed and reached for her hand.
"Bones when we made love it was the most spectacular experience of my life. We were amazing in bed together but more importantly we are amazing together out of bed and if the only thing that we can have is our friendship and partnership then that's enough for me and right now I'm not interested in finding someone to satisfy my biological needs. My first, most important priority is helping you get better."
"Booth…"
"No Bones. I'm done talking about it. Now come on. You don't want to be late for your appointment."
--
"Dr. Temperance Brennan?" Booth and Bones looked up and saw a young woman, about the same age as Bones standing in the doorway.
"Yes. That's me." Bones said standing up.
"Hello. I'm Olivia Thompson. It's a pleasure to meet you."
"It's nice to meet you as well Dr. Thompson."
"Oh please. Call me Olivia." The young doctor gave Bones an encouraging smile. "Are you ready to come back and talk Dr. Brennan?"
"You can call me Temperance." Booth could tell she was stalling.
"Okay Temperance. Would you like to come back now?"
"I…uhhh…Can Booth come with me?" Booth looked at Bones in surprise. He really didn't want to go with her, hear what happened to her in great detail but if she wanted him with her then he wouldn't hesitate to be with her.
"If that's what you want then it's fine with me." Bones turned to Booth and he immediately jumped up and the three of them walked in together. Once Booth and Bones were settled on together on the couch Bones reached over and clutched Booth's hand tightly.
"You look uncomfortable Temperance. Do you not want to be here?" Olivia began.
"I mean no disrespect but I don't believe in psychology and honestly I don't want to be here but Booth wants me to give it a try so here I am."
"Do you always do what Booth wants you to do?" A smile escaped Bones' mouth.
"No I don't."
"Then why are you here?" Bones took a minute before she answered.
"Because this time I agree with Booth. I can't get better on my own and I need help."
"Was that hard for you to admit?"
"Very. I'm used to helping myself."
"Well I hope that I will be able to help you."
"I hope so too."
"What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a forensic anthropologist that consults with the F.B.I. on murder cases when the bodies are too decomposed to be identified or cause of death determined. Booth and I are partners."
"Do you enjoy your job Temperance?"
"If you would have asked me that question six months ago I would have said that I love my job but now I'm not sure how to answer that. I don't feel the same way about it anymore. I feel like I've lost my passion."
"Why do you think that you have lost your passion?"
"It's because of my passion that I am in my current state of mind. It was my love of ancient Bones that made me take that trip."
"I spoke with Dr. Sweets and he told me what happened to you during your trip and I promise Temperance that we will deal with it but it's going to take time. Right now, today I want to deal with any major issues that first and foremost in your life right now, whatever they may be."
"Okay."
"So what issues can we discuss?" Olivia asked her patient softly. Bones looked at Booth with fear in her eyes.
"It's okay Bones. You can trust Olivia and I'm right here next to you."
Taking a deep breath Bones took the first step in her recovery and she told her therapist of her nightmares with her friend and partner beside her, as he always is.