For a moment, Akko stood closed out of her own room, at a complete loss for words, unable or unwilling to process what had just happened.
Her hand balled into a fist, and she slammed on the door, as hard and noisily as she could, without a single care whether it bothered their dorm neighbors.
"Sucy!" She yelled. "You can't just lock me out of my own room!"
Inside, Sucy indifferently called back. "Go away."
"I'm not lying about this, Sucy! There's some sort of spirit in my head and you missed it! You…you need to check again! I need you to check again!"
"If whatever this is supposed to be is so important, then go ask someone else to double check my work. I'm not in the mood."
"No! It needs to be you! And I already told you why! Just open the door and-!"
The door suddenly swung open, and Akko fell forward. She caught herself on her feet before she could hit the floor, perhaps due less to luck and more to practice from her mind constantly being on high alert for danger.
Sucy stood once again in the doorway, with a glare on her face and a vial in her hand. "Fine, do you really want me to check again?" She said, making little effort to hide her annoyance. "Here. I'll check again. Don't blame me if this doesn't do anything."
Never breaking eye contact with the other girl, Sucy turned the vial upside down, and a strange blue liquid splashed down right on top of Akko's shoes. The concoction bubbled, and it fizzed, until it simply dissipated entirely from sight.
If the potion had done anything, it was not immediately obvious.
Akko leveled Sucy with a flat look. "What was that supposed to do?"
"That," Sucy said, "was a purification potion. If there was a spirit, it would've just been violently reacted, and if it was a weaker one, likely would've exorcised itself from your body. But since it did nothing, then there must be nothing."
"I…" Akko growled. "No, I know there's something!"
"Oh, for the love of…" Sucy rolled her eyes. "How many more tests do you want me to do before you get it through your head? Why are you so insistent on being cursed?"
"Because it's in there!" Akko yelled. "You must've cast the spell wrong, or…or maybe there's something wrong with your potion! You need to listen to me on this, okay?!"
Sucy barely reacted beyond a slight narrowing of her eyes. But as soon as the statement left Akko's mouth, it suddenly tasted bitter.
Was this her talking? Or was this the curse once more? The very same one making her doubt her friends, imagining them doing such cruel, twisted things they would never do? She didn't believe Sucy was right, but how much of that was her own logic, and how much of that was the effects of the fears plaguing her at night, worming its way into her head?
Akko hid behind her hands with a frustrated groan. She really didn't know. She couldn't even be sure who she was anymore.
"…Sucy, it's not that I don't believe you. But I…I can't sleep until I get this fixed. Just…please. I don't know what else to do."
A softer, more sympathetic emotion flashed across Sucy's face, one that couldn't be completely hidden under her quickly assumed mask of indifference. In the end, the best Sucy could muster was a sigh.
"You had a nightmare, Akko. What exactly do you expect me to do here?"
"Well, I dunno…" Akko wrung her hands together. "Maybe…you could come with me? We…I'm sure if we work together, we can beat what's running around inside my head, and everything will go back to normal. You're not too busy, are you?"
"I'm working." Sucy said. "Or at least I'm trying to. I still have an exam left, and I still have to make sure these mushrooms grow correctly, and on top of that, now I have to rework this stupid potion for…for a personal project. The point being, I'm busy."
Whatever remaining energy Akko had was gone in an instant. She didn't feel angry. Nor did she feel like crying anymore. She just felt empty.
Busy. Just like Diana and Ursula had been.
She looked around the hall, noticing a few other doors had cracked open, and who knows how many pairs of curious eyes were trying to see the source of all the yelling. She couldn't bring herself to voice her thoughts, too sure that if she did, she'd say something that sounded more blaming than Sucy deserved to hear. So Akko just hung her head and decided to stay silent.
"…Look." Sucy shifted on her feet. "If you don't mind being quiet, you can wait in here for Lotte to get back and she can check." After a moment's thought, and a begrudging groan, Sucy added, "…or I could maybe…come with you to check with Diana."
Akko shook her head mechanically. "No. You don't have to do that. I didn't mean to doubt you, Sucy." Her voice was uncharacteristically quiet. "I'll…stop bugging you."
Trying her best to ignore the eyes on her, Akko dragged her feet away from the room, and gave a half-hearted wave of her fingers for a goodbye.
Just before she closed the door again, Sucy glanced over her shoulder. "…It was a nightmare, Akko. Sometimes these things just happen."
Akko wasn't sure if she wanted to believe her or not. She wasn't sure what to believe anymore. She trudged her way to the stairs, wondering what in the world her next move was supposed to be now. As she went by, the door to the Green Team's room creaked open, and Jasminka toed out into the hall to greet her.
"Akko?" Jasminka asked. "Are you okay?"
"…It's nothing."
"It just sounded a little scary out here. We wanted to make sure you were alright."
Jasminka gestured to the inside of her room, opening the door wide for her, and Constanze shot her a concerned look from her bed.
Akko found her eyes wandering. "…Where's Amanda?"
The machine in Constanze's lap unfolded itself and spoke up in its creator's place. "Amanda departed with Diana and Hannah last night!" The Stanbot stated. "They did not specify when they'll return."
Dozens of conflicting thoughts cropped up in Akko's head. About Diana not being here. About Amanda not being here. She winced, trying in vain to block them out. She must not have been as discrete as she hoped she was being, as Jasminka took her by the hand and led her right into the room, out of sight from the rest of the hall's prying eyes.
"Akko appears to be close to malfunctioning." Constanze's Stanbot said. "Miss Constanze believes you should come in and recuperate."
Constanze nodded with an affirmative grunt, and Jasminka, in turn, went to her desk and offered her a small bag of treats and a reassuring smile.
"Do you want some candy? I know how you like the sour ones."
Akko couldn't even manage to look her in the eye. She silently flopped down on Amanda's bunk, staring at the wall with her back to the rest of the room.
She didn't notice the look Jasminka and Constanze gave each other, but she did feel Jasminka's hand resting on her shoulder.
"You've been really quiet lately. Did something happen?"
"…I don't know anymore."
"You can always tell us! We'll keep it completely secret. It won't even have to leave this room." Jasminka made a show of crossing her heart.
The Stanbot hopped up from Constanze's lap and found its way to its usual spot on her head. "Miss Constanze is excellent at secrets, as she still cannot properly speak!"
Constanze narrowed her eyes at the Stanbot, but didn't actually bother to deny what it said either.
To the Green Team's dismay, Akko hadn't even shifted. She was lying as motionless as she had been when she first laid down.
"Do you know what I do whenever I feel homesick?" Jasminka said. "I like to take my wand and make a little snow! It's so fluffy and soft, and it always reminds me of where I grew up. Do you have anything like that?"
Akko merely stared at the wall.
"Miss Constanze would like to know if you wish to visit the lab." Constanze's Stanbot offered. "We could use assistance in painting a few machines, and Akko is very good at reaching the taller portions! Would this help Akko feel better?"
When Akko failed to respond, Jasminka let out a small hum, and sat down at her desk. "Well, if you just want to lay down in here, me and Constanze don't mind. If you promise it will help you feel better, then we promise we'll stay right here, and we won't make you say anything you don't want to. Deal?"
Akko rolled over just enough to give Jasminka a small smile. "I really don't deserve you guys…"
"Don't be silly, Akko." Jasminka smiled, mistaking the statement for a simple platitude. "What are friends for?"
Akko didn't say anything back, returning her attention to the blank wall.
True to their word, Jasminka and Constanze decided to leave her be, but it was apparent they were ever so slightly uncomfortable, and she really couldn't blame them. Even when she actually slept, she never rested. Her mind had been awake for days on end, and her body was bruised and felt like it was on the edge of collapse.
She had been fighting this whole time, and she had nothing to show for it but an awkward silence and a stupid argument with someone she loved. Her eyelids felt heavy, and her head even heavier.
She sunk into the pillow, and when the calling of sleep came for her once more, she didn't have the motivation to fight it anymore.
When she inevitably found herself snapped out of sleep and placed somewhere else, she was neither surprised or curious. The first thing she noted was that she was now in heels. And a dress that felt much stiffer than it had the first time.
She was at the Hanbridge Manor, back when Paul Hanbridge had been throwing a party to celebrate something or other about Andrew's inspiring success. She couldn't see Lotte or Sucy anywhere, much less Andrew or anyone else she actually recognized.
Akko slunk to a corner of the room, doing her best to avoid eye contract. She knew she should at least try to psyche herself up, get ready for another long night of struggle and panic. But she couldn't do it, not tonight, and not again.
Right now, there was only one thing her heart was longing out for. She was slightly less afraid of what would happen if she kept avoiding Diana than she was if Diana actually saw her like this, so she knew she needed to stay the course. But that didn't mean she didn't want to see-
She heard a soft gasp from next to her. And suddenly, there she was. Standing radiantly in her emerald blue dress, her pointed heels and her silk gloves, her beautiful blonde hair and the lightest blush on the pale of her cheeks.
"Diana…?"
Akko's heart seized.
This was it. This was the nightmare she had been dreading. This was what the curse was going to torture her with tonight. She wanted to move, but her legs were frozen. She could only watch helplessly as Diana's lips parted.
"Oh Akko, I've been looking everywhere for you." Diana let out a sigh of relief, daintily laying a hand on her chest. "I apologize for running off so suddenly, but I've found you at last."
Akko couldn't do anything but swallow.
"Why do you look so pale? I realize I've been cold to you in the past, but I assure you, I would never treat you so poorly again. I just wish to spend time with you more, that's all."
"W-wait…" Akko narrowed her eyes. "You…you mean that?"
"Of course I do." Diana giggled. "I meant what I said in the hall. I do truly love you, Atsuko Kagari."
"You're…you're not…going to yell at me?"
"Yell at you?" Diana shook her head. "Oh Akko…haven't you been listening? I care about you more than any other. Why in the world would I ever yell at you?"
Akko winced. Of course Diana wouldn't. Of course a Diana stung by a Cupid Bee wouldn't. How many times was she going to make this mistake? How long until she seriously hurt someone's feelings like this?
"You're right." Akko choked out. "I know you wouldn't actually do that. None of you would be that mean on purpose. I know you're all really nice friends. I know you…y-you wouldn't…it's not…not your fault…it's…"
She trailed off, and her knees simply crumpled underneath her as she hung her head in her hands. Diana could only step back and watch as Akko let out a long, frustrated, moan.
"…I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..."
Diana murmured in confusion, but that was the only hesitation she afforded herself. She knelt down to her level, and with a small cough to get her attention, offered a gloved hand to the girl on her knees.
"…Akko, would you like to step outside for a moment?"
She found herself being led by the hand out to the privacy of the balcony, guilt and exhaustion burning through her chest. But Diana didn't say anything on the way there. She didn't say anything at all, until she let Akko lean herself against the railing and was satisfied that the girl had sure footing once more.
Akko slumped over the banister, looking more at the stars than the kind girl next to her.
"Akko…" Diana started in a soft tone. "You know…I can't help you if you won't let me. Tell me what's wrong."
"…I wasn't even invited to this party, you know. I just snuck in, because…" Akko shrugged. "I don't even know. I just didn't like Hannah and Barbara saying I couldn't, so I just did it."
"Is that truly what's bothering you?"
"…No. Not really." She admitted, before turning to look Diana in the eye. "Why…are you being so much nicer to me than all the other dream people? Every time I turn around, it's some new horrible thing. What makes you…still act like you?"
"I'm afraid I don't quite understand what you mean." Diana said. "But I do know, I could never be cold to you Akko. You're one of the most special, most beautiful, and most energetic people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting."
"…You're just saying that because of the bee." Akko said, turning her view back to the stars. "We don't even really know each other yet."
"But I know what my heart says, Akko. And it yearns for you."
Akko squinted. "Yearns for…?"
"For you, Akko, and no one else. And it breaks to see you in such a state. So please, tell me what I may do to help you. Anything."
The truth was, Diana was still the last person she wanted to see her like this. But as she gazed over the banister, her eyes glazing over the dozens of almost nondescript people she didn't know or recognize, Akko was reminded that this, all of this, was not the real world.
The consequences of the real world didn't apply here, and once she awoke, no one would know what she said. The real Diana wasn't here.
It wasn't much. But it gave her the confidence to speak that she couldn't find anywhere else.
"…I just don't know what to do anymore." She finally let out. "I've been doing everything I can to fix this, but it just keeps getting worse and worse. I don't want to keep thinking about my friends doing these things, but I can't stop it and I'm…I'm scared that if they find out the kind of things I've been dreaming about…they'll be…disappointed, in me."
Akko braved a look to Diana, but the Cavendish's face was completely devoid of whatever judgment she might've been expecting.
"May I ask…why do you believe they'd be disappointed? Didn't you say yourself that they're good people?"
"They are." Akko said. "That's why I'm scared what will happen if they find out. I…I can't stop the dreams, but they're still my memories that are getting twisted. And it's not fair to them."
"Perhaps." Diana said, placing a finger to her chin. "But what makes you think they'd be disappointed, if you know they care about you?"
"I…" Akko swallowed, almost intimidated to even try to say this to her. "So…I have this…friend. And they're really important to me. And the last time I really got to talk with her, my friend said that…nothing made her happier than seeing me smile."
She briefly expected Diana to say something to that, but once again, all she did was wait silently for her to finish. But Akko couldn't meet her eyes anymore. Her chin sunk to the banister and she hid her face beneath her arms.
The breath Akko let out shook as it past her quivering lips. "…But I don't…feel like smiling right now. And I know she's busy with a lot of stuff. And I don't want her to see me like this, because if she does, I feel like she's gonna be really disappointed…"
Diana looked down at her. "Forgive me if this sounds callous, but don't you think you're twisting her words?"
"Yes." Akko muttered. "I know I am. I know I'm being really stupid. But...even if she wouldn't be mad at me for being like this, I don't want what's happening to everyone else in my dreams to happen to her. I'm…I can't handle anything else going wrong."
"Do you expect things to go wrong?"
"No, I don't want things to go wrong, but they always do. I keep trying and trying, but I'm running out of things to try because nothing works. And I've tried everything I can think of but it just always goes wrong so how am I supposed to feel? What am I supposed to do?!"
Akko's grip tightened around the banister. Her face grew hot
"I wanna fix this, alright? I wanna be a good witch who can do things right. I want to get better. I want to be a good friend. I want Diana to be proud of me. I want…I w-want..."
Akko sniffled. And the first tears finally broke through.
"I just wanted to go home…" She admitted. "I love Luna Nova…a-and I love my friends. But I wanna go home…"
She pinched her eyes shut, trying to stop herself from breaking down even further, but the tears kept breaking through. Diana merely laid a hand on her back, and gently encouraged her to let it out.
"Sshh, Akko." Diana whispered. "It's okay."
She rubbed at her eyes, as the tears slid down her cheeks. "I don't wanna keep messing up…I-I don't wanna keep seeing every time I screwed up every night. I don't wanna keep...keep letting everyone down, b-but I keep doing it over and over. I just wanted a break. I just wanted to go home…"
And Akko, unable to do anything else, simply sobbed.
She couldn't say how long they sat there, Diana petting her back as all the pent-up frustrations of the past week finally caught up to her. All Akko knew anymore was that it took her longer than she wanted for her eyes to finally clear up enough to see.
She didn't used to mind people seeing her cry. Nowadays, it did nothing but leave a heavy feeling in her stomach. She hated feeling so sick, so useless around her. She hated how much everything hurt, how nothing seemed to work.
Still slumped against the banister, she did her best to hug her arms closer, and to stifle her hiccups. She wasn't sure why she was surprised Diana had stuck around. She knew it was just a memory, and that this memory was infected with the Cupid Bee, but nonetheless…
Something about the security of it, the assurance that this Diana loved her, hopelessly and unconditionally, made it all the easier.
Diana, who had only made gentle reassuring noises this entire time, was the one to finally break the silence. "I…I can't do anything to bring you home, Akko."
"I know." She sniffed. "T-there's no Ley Lines over there, a-and even if there was, I can't even…"
She didn't even want to say the word right now.
"May I ask you something, Akko?" Diana said. "Why are you so focused on your failures?"
Akko's brows furrowed. She wasn't sure. Wasn't sure why she did, why she shouldn't, or why the question bothered her at all.
When she looked up, Diana explained. "It hasn't always been as easy as you'd like it to be. But you've accomplished more than a lot. More than many can claim to. Aren't you proud of that?"
"I am…" Akko said. "...I think."
"Why do you answer it like that? I've seen you so confident, so utterly sure of your own strengths. And I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but you've impressed even me on more than one occasion."
Akko let out a dry chuckle. "You know, you actually told me that before…"
Diana blinked. "Have I?"
Akko didn't bother to explain what she meant. "But back then, I just…knew. I knew I had the Shiny Rod, and I knew I was gonna be as great as Shiny Chariot one day. But now the Shiny Rod is gone, and Chariot…she's probably the nicest person I ever met, but she's…just a person now. She makes mistakes, just like me. She didn't…used to be like that."
"Be that as it may…you still accomplished all of that, haven't you? Perhaps you may not have the Rod anymore, but that doesn't change what you've accomplished, does it?"
Akko, shakily, pushed herself upwards from the banister. "No…I…guess it doesn't…"
"Perhaps you are struggling now, but was the Shiny Rod the only reason you ever succeeded?"
When Akko finally found the strength to look to Diana's eyes once more, she was greeted with a light smile spread across the Cavendish girl's cheeks.
"I don't believe you needed me to tell you any of this, Akko." She told her. "You already decided who you were meant to be once. And you found a way to believe in that dream once. Why should these dreams be different?"
"Diana…"
Maybe it was just the Cupid Bee speaking. Maybe it was Akko's own mind filling in the blanks. But at the moment, it didn't seem to matter.
Diana smiled, soft, sweetly, and unapologetically full of adoration. The gentle upturning of her lips and the tender gaze in her lidded eyes took the weight boring down in Akko's chest and lifted it away ever so slightly.
Because she knew, Diana loved her.
No matter how badly she was handling this, no matter how homesick and exhausted she was, the Diana of this memory loved her anyways, and always would. Diana loved her.
Diana could only let out a gasp when Akko wrapped her arms around her shoulders and pulled her into a tight hug. Akko knew it was still going to be quite a few months until Diana was comfortable with physical contact, but she was too grateful not to.
"Thank you, Diana…" She mumbled into her shoulder.
"Y-yes." She said, with two taps on Akko's back. "Well. Anytime I may be of some assistance to you, I suppose."
Akko didn't fully pull away from the hug, still keeping her hands on the taller girl's shoulders. Diana glanced at her hands, and managed a small smile.
"You do seem to be in better spirits now, aren't you?"
Akko was barely listening. She was too focused on how long it had been since she had been able to talk to Diana without having to worry about something. Without it having to be about something.
She had missed it, more than she had been willing to admit. And she didn't know how long it would be until she could get back to this place in the real world.
Diana froze, completely unsure of how to react at first, but gradually her hand drifted upwards to the nape of Akko's neck, and Akko took it as a sign to deepen the kiss.
And when Akko pulled away, a small smile finally found its way to her cheeks.
Diana's own cheeks, however, were flushed completely scarlet. As soon as Akko pulled away, Diana fluttered backwards and caught herself on the banister, her other hand over her heart. From the wide-eyed expression, it was evident the already lovesick Cavendish had virtually short-circuited.
"A-Akko…" Diana said breathlessly. "I…that was so…unexpected…"
Akko bashfully scratched the back of her head. "Oh, heh, sorry. I guess I kinda forgot we're not…a thing yet. That doesn't happen for about a year. I didn't mean to…"
"I…" Diana gasped. "…I'm not truly opposed to performing such…intimate actions, but…I did not believe you to be quite so forward. It's…not unwelcome, it's merely so…my goodness."
Diana hadn't even reacted like this to their actual first kiss. Despite herself, Akko felt a tinge of pride, and just slightly more amusement.
"I didn't mean to embarrass you like that."
"What?" Diana quickly straightened herself out. "No! N-no, I'm not…embarrassed. I'm merely…somewhat surprised, that's all. Though, if nothing else, I, ah, believe some preamble would be appreciated, should you ever wish to perform such things again."
Akko's smile began to spread wider. "…You still get really formal, huh?"
"N-no." Diana said, after loudly clearing her throat. "What do you mean formal? I'm sure I haven't the faintest idea what you mean. Is this not how I always speak? Surely, I've always practiced proper diction."
Feeling fuller than she had in days, Akko leaned back against the banister, more upright than she had been before. "Heh, you know this vision or whatever it's supposed to be has actually been kinda nice! Usually by now something horrible happens or-"
"Akko!"
A man's voice called out to her, and Andrew Hanbridge ran out onto the balcony.
"Oh, right. I kinda forgot he got stung too."
"Akko, wait!" Andrew offered her his hand. "I've finally found you again, my love! Please, give me a chance to tell you my true feelings! My heart yearns for yours!"
She knew for a fact Andrew was going to be really embarrassed about this by the time the Noir Rod launched. She actually felt a little embarrassed for him.
"Ahaha, this is…" Akko scratched the back of her head. "Well, this is a bit awkward, but I…"
Diana stepped in front of her before she could say another word, and scoffed at the blushing boy. "Tch. As if I would let you besmirch her honor. I know your family's dismissive views on witchcraft. You don't deserve someone such as her!"
Andrew glared. "And the failing house of Cavendish does? Someone as wonderful as Akko should be treated like a princess, not disgraced with your family's petty squabbles!"
"How dare you!" Diana gasped, scandalized. "Akko, don't listen to this foolish boy! He doesn't know what he's talking about!"
"Guys…" Akko felt the heat rise up her cheeks.
"She's the one who doesn't know what she's talking about! Akko, my heartsweet, run away with me. You've shown me Luna Nova, now let me show you my world!"
Akko took one look at Diana, and then another one at Andrew. Her lips quivered. Her knees shook. Until finally…
She snorted. And a loud, unabashed laugh escaped her throat. She almost doubled over, clutching her stomach. Andrew and Diana went right back to a petty, lovesick argument, which Akko couldn't even catch most of, beyond excessively long worded digs and antiquated insults.
She really had no idea why this dream turned out so much nicer than the others. Maybe she simply stumbled into a happy accident for once. She still didn't know how no one could tell her anything about this spirit that was plaguing her. The truth was, she still didn't know how she was going to fix this at all.
But she looked upwards to the stars, almost instinctually spotting the Big Dipper hanging in the night sky, and she reached upwards, imagining she could grab it.
And Akko awoke to found herself back in bed, now only reaching up to touch the bottom of Jasminka's bunk.
"You're awake?" Constanze's Stanbot called out from the opposite bed. "Are you functioning normally again?"
Akko swung her legs over the side of the bed with a small smile. "No. Probably not."
"You were asleep for almost an hour and a half." Jasminka told her. "Did your nap help you feel better?"
"Yeah. I think it did. Thanks for everything, you guys."
Jasminka and Constanze could only exchange another look as Akko strode from the room.
She didn't have the answers, and she wasn't exactly sure she even understood the clues. But she wasn't going to just sit by and react to whatever this spirit threw at her, night after night. The next time the dream came, she wasn't going to run, and she wasn't going to fight.
The next time she fell asleep, she was going to succeed.
A.N. Next time, "Breaking the Dragon's Pact" We're finally gonna catch back up with Diana, Amanda, and Hannah, and see what Croix has been up to! To say nothing of what all this means for Akko herself and whatever dream she has next!