Dean's Bloody Mary

Sam was sitting in the hospital chair that he had been sitting in for the last two days, just watching his brother breathe. He was lost in thought when Bobby walked through the door.

"How is he?"

"Holding his own, he's lost a hell of a lot of blood though, his blood pressure was low but they think they got him in time. All we need now is for him to wake up." Sam looked at Bobby. "Did you take care of it?"

"It's cleaned, no one'll ever know either of you were there. Quite a set up she had in that cellar, must have been her dad that did that, place to lock things up in." Bobby dug in his pocket. "I found this by the way." Bobby held up Dean's amulet. Sam noted that he had taken the time to clean it.

"Thanks Bobby. " Sam took his pocket knife and slit the knot off of it, standing he slipped the amulet under the tubes, round Dean's neck and tied a new knot in the leather thong. He lifted Dean's top and slipped it inside, safe against his skin. "He would have been hurt to lose this."

Sam looked at Bobby. "What about you know? ….Grace?"

"Sleeping in the cemetery, I buried her with her dad. Seemed the least I could do in the circumstances."

"Oh." Sam leant on his brother's bed.

A thought that had been troubling him surfaced again. It was something that he had dreamed about the last two nights as he had heard Dean's words again in his head. "I swore that it wouldn't happen again." A picture came to Sam. His brother and him were lying on the warehouse floor surrounded by smashed mirrors and Sam realised that Dean's eyes were bleeding too. What did you do Dean?

"Bobby can I ask you something?"

Sam's face was so serious that Bobby could almost hear the 'oh-oh' in his head.

"What is it kid?"

Bobby you've known our family for a long time, Dean said something, before he passed out, and I was wondering if you knew what he meant."

Bobby sat down next to Sam; his face had a guarded look. "What'd he say?"

"Bobby has Dean killed someone before? Before Grace?"

Bobby hesitated before he spoke, dropped his eyes, and Sam knew he had his answer.

"Why'd you ask that?"

"When he shot Grace, he said he'd swore it wouldn't happen again. Do you know what he was talking about?

Sam knew from the look on Bobby's face that he did.

"What happened, what did he do Bobby?"

Bobby looked at Dean and sighed. He sat forward in the chair, resting his arms on his knees. "He'll probably kill me for this but it's not like it matters now."

"You were at school Sam, and your dad and Dean had been out on a hunt. John had been hurt so Dean took him back to the car while he did the salt and burn.

A guy had driven by and then stopped, seems the stupid idjit tried to mug your daddy. He was high on something and musta thought he was an old man on his own. Your daddy got him down but then he pulled a knife on him, cut John up real good too. Your dad was going down when he heard the shout and knew it was your brother.

He said the guy grabbed him and turned him round to face Dean, using him as a shield. He put the knife to John's throat and had started to cut when the guy's face just exploded.

Your daddy told me later that it was the best damn kill shot he'd ever seen, although I know he never told your brother that. Dean was still a good bit off and running almost full tilt when he took the shot and he still got him almost right between the eyes. Dean's instinct was to protect his dad and John didn't even think that Dean's had thought about what he was doing until it was done. A couple of inches out though and it would have been your daddy's face they would have been scraping up. John says that there was no doubt in his mind that the guy had intended to kill him and that Dean saved his life.

Dean was in state when they got to mine though, I don't think he slept for over a week, it ate him up inside, knowing Dean probably still does. John was worried, he made Dean sit down though and talk about it, and you know how hard that is. He was worried that after everything that your brother has seen and done it would harden him somehow to the fact that he had taken a life, I mean your dad knows what that's like from being a marine. Last talk they had about it though your brother swore to John that it wouldn't happen again. They never spoke about it again."

"Me personally, I think it pushed your brother the other way, made him care more not less. Maybe that's why on a hunt if he can't save someone it kills him too a little. "

"Why did I never know about this?"

"Well you know your family. It's not like you all don't keep secrets Sammy. And anyhow, how do you bring something like that up in a conversation Sam, how are you, by the way I shot someone dead! Your brother just didn't want you to know, hell he's never spoke about it to John or me since then, far as I know. Just another thing he's got bottled up inside him" Bobby lifted his cap and scratched at his hair. "Your brother's complicated."

Sam looked round at Bobby, thinking that that was the understatement of the year. "He scares me sometimes, you know."

"What? Your brother would protect you with his life and you're scared of him?"

"No, no, Bobby. Not scared of him, scared for him. He always puts himself last, never seems to care what happens to him. He takes way too many risks where I'm concerned, his need to protect me, it clouds his judgement, I'm afraid…. I'm afraid it'll get him killed someday. Hell, it almost did already."

Sam took his brother's hand in his, feeling the need for a connection, for the comfort that only his brother brought to him.

Another thought that had been troubling Sam since Dean had stabbed his leg pushed its way forward bringing with it another picture into Sam's head. His brother and him together in the cabin after rescuing their 'dad'. Dean talking to him, his voice low, his face serious. "I mean, for you or dad, the things I'm willing to do or kill; its just it scares me sometimes."

Bobby's voice pulled him back. "Dean would do anything for you, you know that don't you?"

He looked over at Bobby and smiled a wry smile. "Yeah, Bobby I guess I do. I guess he's proved that. I guess that, after Dad, that's what I'm really afraid of."

Bobby stood and put his hand on Sam's shoulder. "He'll be alright, he will, Dean's always alright." Bobby walked over to the door and turned.

"At least, he is as long as he's got you."