Disclaimer - All rights belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and the creators of TDI. No profit is being made in the making of the fanfiction. This alternate-universe episode of TDI contains stunts performed by written teens. Please don't try any of this at home. And if my OCs wander into your story, give them a bop on the nose and send them back here.
The Kobold Necromancer's Warning - By the sixth chapter of this story, I have more reviews than my "Love Ain't Easy, It's Ezzy" story has. That story was sixteen chapters. I'm not sure how I feel about that. \insert rim-shot here\
Yeah, this came out much sooner. I felt guilty for making you all wait so long, but I'm leaving this one with a cliff-hanger! (Almost literally.)
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Chapter 7 - We Find This Car Alarming
(Janitor's Closet - At the hotel!)
Chris Maclean - "As fun as it would be to see all our racers waking up, some of our racers covered up the cameras in the hotel rooms. Oh well, should have hid them better. Still, we got some shots of those waking up in their cars and their hotel rooms! And they're awesome! Hate and love, and more love!"
(Team 2 - Alfred, Bridgette, Crystal, DJ, Gwen, Trent; six seater)
DJ woke first of the six seater group. He yawned and stretched, then looked around at his sleeping teammates.
Crystal was curled up in the back against the other side from him, letting out fluttering sighs as she slept. Bridgette was against the passenger door, using her blue hoodie as a pillow. Trent was asleep at the wheel, with Gwen resting on his side; DJ couldn't help but smile at this.
Taking a quick look at his cell phone, he clapped his hands loudly. "Hey guys, it's 7:02! We can get going any time now!"
Grumbles and sighs came from the rising teenagers. Bridgette put her hoodie back on and stepped outside to stretch. Gwen gave her fingers a wet lick, then put her hair back.
"Ugh, I hate mornings," she grumbled, arching her back. Shaking her head, she looked over at Trent, who was also waking up slowly. A feeling of guilt hit her, and she bit her lip.
"Um, Trent?" she said, slowly. "I'm... really sorry I was so crabby yesterday."
"Aw, that's okay," he said, patting her shoulder.
"I'm just... a really, really bad side seat driver. I'll sit in the back this time."
"Hmm, maybe I'll join you then."
Gwen blushed, and that cute, pink tint to her pale face turned on Trent. He held her in his arms and kissed her, and she kissed back; in the back, Crystal and DJ were silently cheering.
Bridgette walked over to the trunk and poked Alfred a couple times. "Hey, wake up, American man," she teased as he stirred. She rested her arm on the trunk lid. "It's time for us to start going!"
He opened his eyes to see Bridgette looking down at him. "Ah, I do like waking up to a nice sight," he said.
Bridgette quirked an eyebrow, and quickly changed the subject; she never understood it when guys flirted with her. "So, did you sleep well?"
"I'll let you know when I wake up."
He started to sit up, and Bridgette started to move out of his way. In the process, she accidentally lowered the trunk and hit him on the head with it.
"Oh God! I'm so sorry," she exclaimed as he rubbed his head.
"Wow... that felt good," he said as he got out, a big smile on his face. "I'm awake now!"
As Bridgette wrung her hands and continued to apologize, Alfred walked over to the front of the car. He waved at Gwen and Trent, who were still kissing. "Pop the hood, I just wanna check some things."
Trent acknowledged, and Alfred immediately started looking around. Bridgette walked over and asked, "You know about cars?"
"Dad taught me quite a bit, he's a mechanic," Alfred said as he checked the oil. "So I can actually look in here and know what would be bad."
"Is something bad?"
"Nah, it's all good, I just wanted to make sure, since we don't know this car that much," he admitted, "but we are low on wiper fluid."
"Can't have that, now can we?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.
He smirked at her as he closed the hood. "You're a funny dudette, Lindsay."
Bridgette blinked, and started to say, "Wait, what did you call m-"
"Are we good?" Trent asked, coming out of car. The others did too, stretching their legs.
"I'm pretty sure we are," Alfred said. "We'll just have to stop somewhere for breakfast, since the hotel won't let us in."
"Sounds good," Crystal said, smacking her lips. "Who's driving?"
"Oh me, me, me," Alfred chanted, jumping up and raising his arm. He looked around, and noticed Bridgette was looking at him funny. "What?"
"You called me 'Lindsay'."
"What? Isn't that your name?"
"Nope."
"But," Alfred, who knew how bad it was to get a girl's name wrong, was tapping his fingers together nervously, "Howard said your name was Lindsay."
"Well, he probably doesn't know the contestants that well yet," she said, then smirked and extended her hand. "I'm Bridgette, nice to meet you."
He shook her hand, then scratched the back of his head. "I'm... sorry for the mix-up. I don't know how it happened."
"I think I do," Gwen said with a roll of her eyes. "No offense though, Bridgette. Alfred, did you ask Howard who the 'really hot blond' is?"
"Not in those exact words, but yeah."
Gwen sighed. "Typical boy, Howard. Distracted by boobs."
"Which one is Lindsay?" Alfred asked. Crystal, standing in the back, pantomimed having large breasts. "Oh."
"Well, we probably shouldn't be standing around," DJ said. "Let's get some breakfast, and gas for the car, and be on our way."
"Sounds fine," Trent said. "DJ, Gwen, and I will be in the back this time. Alfred's driving. You do know how to drive, right Alfred?"
The wicked grin on Alfred's face did not comfort any of them.
(Janitor's Closet, Post Race Recordings)
Trent - "Turns out he can drive, and rather sensibly too. Guess having a mechanic for a dad teaches you proper driving skills."
Gwen - "I personally think Bridgette is a lot better looking than Lindsay. And it's mostly because Lindsay's eyes radiate 'dumbness'."
Bridgette - "I always find it a bit weird when guys flirt with me. With Lindsay, yes, but not me. Alfred's an okay guy, but am I really his type?"
Alfred - "I'm from California, baby. I knew a lot of gals like Lindsay and Bridgette, and between model lookalikes and surfer girls, the latter is so much more fun to hang out with. Plus, they like to go to the beach to hang out, not the mall. That's a tip, boys, write it down."
DJ - "One would think sitting in the back with a couple would be annoying, but Gwen and Trent are much more modest. And still as fun to watch." \He chuckles, then suddenly looks guilty.\ "Um, not that I do watch! Honest!"
Crystal - \tapping her lips in thought\ "Alfridgette... no, just Alfridge." \She giggles.\ "Thinking of fanon names is bloody fun. And the wonderful thing about Bridgette is that she's a compatible lady. 'Course, I'm just an over-the-top romantic, I'm sure I don't want to bore you with love." \She mimes swooning and giggles.\
(Team 8 - Belinda, Courtney, Daisy, Geoff, Joel; Hummer)
Courtney woke up when the six seater started up. She bat her eyes, and stretched. Despite how much she didn't like this car, she was still able to get a good sleep in it. She looked around at her teammates, and froze when she saw two of them.
Daisy was curled up on Joel, who had a protective hand on her shoulder, and the two looked quite comfortable. Courtney reacted in the way a responsible, mature, educated, and sophisticated, yet still teenaged girl, person would: she let out a scream of "EWWWW!"
Her teammates woke with starts, Geoff muttering, "Did I fall asleep in the pizza again?" as he got up. Soon he and Belinda were looking at Daisy and Joel.
"What?" Daisy grumbled as she looked at their accusing stares. "He was comfy, and I don't sleep in cars very well."
"You were cuddling him," Courtney shouted accusingly.
"I didn't mind in the least," Joel said, grinning.
"It was just basic snuggling for a good night sleep, it didn't mean anything," Daisy said simply. "He's nice."
"Except that you could say you slept with him," Geoff said, chuckling. Glares from Courtney and Daisy made him stop.
"I wouldn't worry about this," Belinda said as she cracked her neck. "Joel and Daisy might be friends, but I don't see them dating just because of a little cuddling."
"Thank you, Belinda," Daisy exclaimed.
"Plus, I know you two are interested in different people."
Daisy and Joel exchanged glances.
(Janitor's Closet, Post Race Recordings)
Joel - "By the fire maidens of Outer Space, how does she know that? I never told anyone!"
Daisy - \crossing her arms\ "Look, I'm normally a flirty girl! How does she know which guy I like here most?"
Belinda - "I'm just good, is all." \She winks at the camera.\
"Well, enough talk about sleeping together," Courtney said, then blushed. "I mean, sleeping on each other. I mean! Sleep with each other! No! I mean-"
"We get the point," Daisy grumbled. "The question is, who's driving this time? Because I nominate me!"
"Actually," Joel rose his hand, "I was wondering if I could tinker with the insides of this baby."
"Joel, we don't have time for you to play around with the car," Courtney said. "If you haven't noticed, we're not doing so hot! The jeep's team got here before we did!"
"Hey, as long as he doesn't make it blow up, I'm cool with it, bra," Geoff said.
"Will we time-travel if we get up to eighty-eight miles an hour?" Belinda joked.
Joel simply grinned, and twirled a wrench in his hand. "Trust me on this one."
(Janitor's Closet, Post Race Recordings)
Courtney - "It was a long shot, but in the end, I decided to trust Joel. Sure he blows up stuff and doesn't wear clean clothes which looks very unprofessional, but the guy is brilliant. He teleported in the first day here! I'm no science geek, but I'm pretty sure that's hard to do."
Geoff - "So um... who do Joel and Daisy like?"
(Team 3 - Ezekiel, Heather, Valerie, Zachary; hybrid)
Heather woke up, snug tight in Ezekiel's arms. She couldn't help but smile, and nuzzle his chest. It hadn't been the first time she had woken up in his arms, but every time felt special to her. [1]
The queen bee and the prairie boy had to share a bed, since the hotel had given them a room with only three beds. Despite the comments from Valerie and Zachary, she really didn't mind. Even though she had the funny feeling they were being watched elsewhere...
After he and the other two woke up, they ate breakfast in the hotel's cafeteria. Not much was said, except for Zachary's inappropriate comment of, "So, how far did you get, Zeke?"
Ezekiel, still with a bad concept of slang, didn't get this at all. The two girls did, and both shot him angry glares.
When they got to the car, it came time to debate who would drive. "Look, I'll be honest," Valerie said, "it is a really nice car to drive, I just don't like driving it."
"We were lucky this hotel had an electric charger for hybrids and electric cars, eh," Ezekiel said with a chuckle. "Cars running on electricity, never thought I'd see that."
"I just know I did my share of driving for the first half of yesterday," Zachary muttered. "And I don't want to do any more."
"Okay, Zachary," Valerie said, "then I think-"
"And don't try to talk me into doing more," he added. "I ain't no damn chauffeur."
"Okay, Zachary," she repeated, getting irked now. "So then-"
"So typical of you white people, wanting the black man to drive! I ain't no Morgan Freeman, and you ain't Miss-"
"Okay, Zachary," Valerie and Heather shouted. The pink-wearing politician rubbed her temples, then looked at Ezekiel, who seemed rather confused by this argument.
"Do you want to drive, Ezekiel?" she asked.
"My best experience is the tractor back home, eh..."
"Perfect. You drive."
"Actually," Heather said, stepping forward, "I was planning to drive."
"You?"
"Have a problem with that?"
Valerie looked to the side, then shrugged. "Sure, whatever. If you want to take a cruise in this purple machine, fine."
Ezekiel watched the exchange between his girlfriend and Valerie, getting more nervous. Zachary was also getting a little worried, because where he came from, girls getting worked out usually led up to violent fights.
When they were all in the car, and Heather was backing it up, Valerie called to the queen bee from the back. "Be sure to drive carefully," she said haughtily, "though this car is good on turns-"
She was cut off when Heather stomped on the gas pedal, and the hybrid rocketed forward. The three passengers screamed and gripped their seats.
"I've always wanted to do this," Heather shouted as the car shot forward like a bullet.
"Slow down," Valerie shrieked. "Slow down, slowdown slowdown slowdown-damnit-slowdown!!"
Zachary screamed as well. "Are we going mach one? Ahhhh!"
Ezekiel said nothing, he looked over at his girlfriend as he gripped his seat. She had the most determined grin on her face that he had ever seen.
A police car was watching the road that the hybrid was on. The two police officers, Officer Realbox and Officer Christmas, were rather bored with their daily watch of the road. When the hybrid raced by, a purple blur, it practically woke them up.
"What the hell was that?" Realbox exclaimed, straightening his hat.
"I dunno, but it was going over eighty," Christmas shouted. "Quick, after it!"
The police car went after the purple hybrid, but they were so far behind them, they soon lost them. Christmas sighed, and shook her head. "People these days, outrunning the cops. What's the world coming to?"
"Beats me."
"So, what was the license number?" Christmas asked as she pulled out her notepad. She was surprised when Realbox glared at her.
"I thought you were going to get the license number," he grumbled.
"No, you were supposed to get the license number!"
"No I wasn't, you hoser!"
"You were! You were, you were, you were!"
(Janitor's Closet, Post Race Recordings)
Heather - "I figured Valerie would ask Zachary to throw the challenge, or ask Ezekiel, who's only experience is driving one of the slowest vehicles on the planet. So I took matters into my own hands."
Valerie - "Heather drives like a maniac! Who'd've thunk?" \She shrugs, and sighs.\ "Bad planning, on my part."
Zachary - "Damn. I hate to say it, but if I knew I could drive like that, I'd love to be riding dirty." \He starts grunting out a certain song.\
Ezekiel - "I wonder what was wrong with Heather back there, eh. She was so calm that morning, so calm when talking..."
\He nervously taps his fingers together.\ "Are girls supposed to be this big a mystery to me still?"
(Team 4 - Clive, Katie, Noah, Sadie; race car)
The racing car team had four beds in their room, so there wasn't anything fun to film when they woke up. Breakfast was also normal, except that Clive was eating a lot of bacon and cinnamon buns.
"Any reason you're packing it away like Owen?" Noah asked him.
"If I'm going to die during the second part of this death race," he muttered with his mouth half full, "I'm going to enjoy the best of breakfast first!"
"You aren't going to die, silly," Sadie giggled.
"Fine, before I'm scarred for life!"
When they finished, they headed out to their car. Clive's body locked up, a paralyzing fear to not enter that car again. Sadie had to push him towards it, while Katie and Noah debated who would drive.
"C'mon, Noah, you know you don't have the killer urge for fast driving," Katie teased. "Besides, this isn't mountain range, it's wide open and mostly straight forward! It'll be perfect for racing!"
"No offense, my dear, but I really just want to arrive in one piece. If we need to... um, floor it," he said with a small shiver, fearing the idea, "I believe I can do it."
"Well okay, but I get to sit up with you," Katie said, grinning. "That way," she dropped her voice so only Noah could hear her, "Sadie can sit with Clive in the back."
"I know you're eager to hook her up this season," Noah remarked, "but with the emo?"
"You were doing all right with him on the way here."
"We were bonding out of fear, Katie."
"Details. Let's just let them have fun back there."
Noah rolled his eyes, then the four boarded up in the car. Sadie was holding Clive's hand, because the emo was trembling hard upon entering the car. Noah took off, slow and steady, obeying the speed limit.
"See, Katie?" he said. "Perfectly fine. We can just obey the limit, and we'll be fi-"
A police siren began to wail, and Noah locked up. He immediately panicked. "Oh no no no," he muttered. "I cannot get a ticket this soon in my life!"
"I thought you were obeying the speed limit?" Katie asked, also fretting.
"I was! Oh crap, damn, hell," he cursed, then looked around. "Katie, Sadie, emo boy, hold onto something."
"Okay," Sadie said cheerfully, wrapping her arms around Clive.
"Wait, what?" Clive asked. "What are you planning on doin-"
Noah stomped on the gas pedal, and the car barreled forward. Katie and Sadie let out squeals of excitement. "Yes yes yes," Katie shouted, pumping her fists in the air. "That's the way to do it, Noah!"
"I take back driving under the speed limit," Noah yelled, an insatiable grin on his face, "this is the best! YEEEEHAW!"
"Mommeeeeeeee," Clive screamed, clinging to Sadie; the larger BFFFL smiled and held him close, but it did very little to comfort him.
The police siren actually was ahead of them, chasing after a purple hybrid. The race car rocketed past it, and the two officers were astonished. After that, a jeep barreled past, as did a pink beetle, and a silver Hummer.
"Damn it all," Officer Christmas exclaimed. "Everyone's gone mad! There must be a chase going on right now! Didn't you say you knew where the chase scene was?
"What?!" Realbox snapped at her. "No, you said you knew where the chase scene was!"
"I never! I never!"
"You said it!"
(Janitor's Closet, Post Race Recordings)
Noah - "Total Drama may be a big pain in my neck at times, what with all those rumors that I'm gay, the early vote off first season, and the painful electrocuting last season, but hell, it does let me have a little fun too." \He grins wickedly.\ "When I buy my own car, I'm gonna get me one with the highest top speed available."
Katie & Sadie - Katie - "Oh that was so much fun, wasn't it?"
Sadie - "Totally fun!"
Katie - "Say, how did things go with you and Clive back there? Did you two do anything after the race?"
Sadie - "Actually, I didn't see him after he ran off..."
Clive - \He is as pale as humanly possible. He opens his mouth to speak, then whimpers and faints.\
(Team 9 - Anita, Cody, Harold, Rodney; jeep)
Anita woke up before the boys did. Rodney, right next to her, was sleeping peacefully. She gently smoothed out his brown hair, a rare glimpse at it since he didn't sleep with his helmet on.
The jeep team's room only had three beds, and despite all teenage urges, Anita suggested that the only boy without hormones (Rodney) would share a bed with her. It was either that, or Cody and Harold share a bed.
"Oh no no no," Cody had begged. "I get enough teasing about Noah cuddling me when I was asleep, I don't need Harold smooching my ear at night."
"Idiot! I wouldn't do that, GOSH!"
When they woke up, had breakfast, and had climbed into the jeep (with Anita driving), Rodney stretched out in the back. "I really like this car, don't you?" he asked Cody, who was sitting next to him.
"Hmm?" Cody wasn't listening. He was too busy watching Anita from behind, watching her ebony hair whipping in the wind. She was making small talk with Harold, talking about things one could consider nerdy (video games, electronics, fantasy novels). Strange as it was, even listening to her talk about such things with another guy was turning Cody on.
"Cody?" Rodney called out, louder this time. "Are you okay?"
"What? Yeah, I'm fine, kid."
"You've been staring at the back of Anita's head for some time now," he said, then looked at said head. "Is there something caught in her hair?"
"No."
"Then why are you staring at-"
Cody clapped his hand over Rodney's mouth. "Um, dude," he whispered, "do me a favor. Don't broadcast how I'm looking at her."
"Why?" the prodigy child asked.
"Because I don't want her to know."
"Why?"
"Because... she might find it creepy that I'm looking at her."
"My mom says proper eye contact makes for a good conversationalist."
"Well, I don't want her to know I'm looking at her when she's not looking at me."
Rodney cocked his head to the side, puzzlement in his eyes. You could almost hear his advanced brain working hard to decipher this, and he soon came upon on an idea. "Oh! Is this what my sister calls a 'crush'?"
Cody blushes. "Um, kind of."
"But don't you like Eva?"
The techno-geek tapped his fingers together. "Well, um... that is, I-"
"You should really spend time with both of them," Rodney suggested, smiling politely. "See, my sister had two guys she really liked. She had to think about it for a couple months before she picked one of them."
"But I'm in the middle of a major competition! I might not have months, or they might not!"
"Then you should spend as much time with them as possible," Rodney exclaimed, clapping his hands in excitement. "And I know how to help!"
He turned to look at Anita, and called out, "Hey, Anita, can you pull over?"
Rodney sat on Harold's lap, the child's hands on the wheel and the nerd's feet on the pedals. Anita was now sitting where Rodney was, next to Cody. They weren't going that fast now, but none of the teammates were complaining.
"Now I can add driver's ed to my list of skills," Harold said happily. "Thank you, Rodney, you're preparing me for my children!"
"You're gonna have children soon?"
"Well, not soon, but I'm sure when Leshawna and I get married, we could have Harold Jr. and Leshawna Jr.!"
"Aren't you going to name them something else?"
"I was hoping Aragorn and Leia, but I have to run those by Leshawna first."
As he and Rodney exchanged name ideas, Cody and Anita continued their awkward small talk. "I really," he said, "do like the Lord of the Rings trilogy!"
"Oh me too," Anita gushed, clasping her hands. "But you know, it's really six books, not three. Now what do you call six books?"
Her eyes looked up in thought. Cody took a quick second to admire how she looks, his hormones screaming. "Yeah, I'm not sure what you call that amount of boobs. ... BOOKS! I meant books!"
"Hmm?" Anita hummed, snapping out of her train of thought. "Yeah, books, were you thinking about the movies?"
"Errr... no... um... maybe."
(Janitor's Closet, Post Race Recordings)
Cody - \pounding his head\ "No no no! Stupid, stupid, stupid! If she heard that, it would have been over! Damn it, I need to pull myself together! I'm Cody, the Codester! The Code-Miester!"
\He sucks in his gut and pounds his chest.\ "I can handle a hot girl with a great body and a wonderful personality who likes geeky things..." \He swoons and gets lost in la-la land.\
Rodney - "Mom and dad explained to me what a crush was. I really liked Lindsay when I watched her on TV, because she has such nice eyes and a sweet voice. My brother Louis said I probably liked her for something else, but I didn't get that."
Anita - "So Rodney switched places with me so that I could sit next to Cody?" \She laughs happily.\ "Oh, he's such a little sweetheart! Can I adopt him, please?"
Harold - "I'm also considering naming our kids MacGyver, Neo, and Samus. I don't know how Leshawna will be with those, but hey, I'll let her pick a few names! I predict we'll have a big family, I can sense she'd be like that! She'd be the tough mom, and I'd be the cool dad who has the maddest skills in the neighborhood!
"I don't care what my sister says, I'd be an awesome father, and the world could stand my offspring!"
(Team 5 - Beth, Colin, Leshawna, Sakaki, Sebastian; monster truck)
"You drive like an old woman! Why don't you pick up the pace?!"
Colin was hollering from the back seat of the monster truck. Leshawna and Beth were looking rather fed up with his complaining, and Sakaki was shriveling up in the passenger seat up front. Sebastian, driving, was doing a rather good job at ignoring him.
"How about I start yanking those dreadlocks of yours to make you go faster?" Colin shouted, then he cackled. "Yeah, like a horse! I'll put a saddle on you, and yank your dreads to make you go faster! I could so make you my bi-grhgurk."
He collapsed in his seat, and snored. Leshawna flexed her fingers, and said, "What do you know? Knocked him out first try."
"Excellent job, Leshawna," said Sebastian, sticking a hand back for Leshawna to high-five him.
"Thank you, my brother, for teaching me how to do that this morning," she said, leaning back happily. "This'll be useful when my siblings get unruly."
"Don't abuse it now," he suggested. "With great powers comes great responsibility."
"Oh, now that's an original philosophy," Beth snickered, then giggled out, "Sebastian, the spectacular spider man?"
The conscious teammates shared a laugh, even Sakaki. The shy girl had been twiddling her fingers in thought, and finally managed to say, "Um... uh... umm... Sebastian?"
"Yes?"
"You know how you said yesterday that no one thinks they're wrong?"
"Hmm? You disagree?"
"Well," she nervously twiddled her fingers, "I just don't know how Colin cannot know what he's doing is wrong. When you and Leshawna were busy practicing that nerve pinch, he was yelling at the staff of the hotel."
"Oh yeah, he was shouting at everyone over everything," Beth said. "He found out that the staff had to tolerate us no matter what, because Total Drama's production was paying them. He insulted everyone, he bothered the waitress, and he was using the foulest language I've heard."
Beth and Sakaki shivered at the thought of the memory. Sebastian took a deep breath, drumming his fingers on the wheel. "Never met anyone as crude as him," he admitted. "I always thought they existed only in bad B-movies."
"He is a piece of work, ain't he?" Leshawna added, looking at her unconscious piece of work. "Though there are more like him back home where I live."
Sebastian smiled at Sakaki. "Well, why do you think he does the wrong thing but doesn't seem bothered by it?"
She blushed and covered her mouth with her fists. After fretting a few more seconds, she stammered out, "N-n-n-no conscience?"
"He isn't conscious now, yes," Beth said, poking Colin. She found this to be fun, and poked him more.
"W-w-well," Sakaki stammered more, "I j-just think th-that Colin is mean because he doesn't realize he's hurting people. And since he doesn't perceive that, he goes about hurting people."
"Hmm, I think that's a good theory," Sebastian said. "You'd make a good philosopher."
Sakaki's cheeks were on fire, and she quickly pointed all available fans at her, and turned the air conditioning up.
(Janitor's Closet, Post Race Recordings)
Beth - \giggling and snorting\ "I sense a new couple forming up! Yay!"
Sebastian - "Sakaki is what I like to call a quiet intellect. You can tell she's smart and creative, but she's so shy, most people cannot tell. I'd love to be able to talk to her more openly.... plus, she's pretty cute." \He grins as he taps the bridge of his glasses.\ "I hope she likes Chinese food, even though I think she's Japanese."
Leshawna - \flecking her fingers that she uses for the nerve pinch\ "I cannot wait to try this out more! So I gave Sebastian a little treat, and had Sakaki sit up there with them." \She grins at the camera.\ "It might be time for little ol' Leshawna to become a matchmaker!"
Colin - "Man, monster trucks are a lot less exciting than I thought they would be. I kept falling asleep in that ride! How the heck does that happen?"
Sakaki - \She taps her fingers together, and opens her mouth. Her face flushes bright pink, and then flees from the confessional.\ "Yeeek!"
(Team 7 - Arthur, Carol, Izzy, Justin, Owen; semi-truck)
Most people right off the bat would say it was a bad idea. A good deal of people would compare it to a 'disaster' or a 'death trap.' Some would rather drive with a rabid wolverine in their pants. Whatever the way to perceive it, it was better to watch than to be there.
Izzy was driving the semi.
"Fear the 'Semizzy,' foolish mortals," she shrieked, bouncing up and down in her seat. "The Semizzy will crush cars, small and large! This is Grand Izzy Auto!"
"Woohoo," Carol shouted right next to her, "this is awesome! Don't go too fast though, we don't want to alert the police."
Justin sat next to them, pushing himself against the door. More than once, he considered jumping out of the moving vehicle. To pass the time, he grabbed the radio and pressed the button.
"Arthur, Owen," he said, keeping his voice steady as he kept his distance from Carol and Izzy, "how are you two doing back there?"
"Oh, fine," Arthur could be heard saying, his voice full of sarcasm. "Just fine!"
"Why are you so upset, Arthur?" Owen asked. "I mean, it's fun back here."
"This semi is shaking and rocking," Arthur hollered. "Worse than last night! I don't even want to know what the hell you and Izzy were doing then!"
Izzy and Owen both laughed, and the others looked at them suspiciously. Carol rubbed her chin and asked, "Second base?"
"Maybe," Izzy said with cackle.
"Third base?"
"Possibly."
"Home plate?"
"What astonishes me is why we have to guess," Arthur grumbled. "C'mon, we were in the same truck as them! How could they possibly get that far without us noticing?"
"Well, it was dark," Justin muttered. "Thank God for that."
Arthur groaned in the cargo hold of the semi. "So," he said, using the word that usually meant a change in subject, "how goes our progress?"
"Well," Carol said as he pulled out a map, "we might want to consider taking a shortcut, since a lot of people cut us off earlier."
"Why don't we take this line here," Izzy asked, taking her eyes off the road for a few seconds. "It's almost right where we are, and judging from the path it takes, it leads us to where we want in a fraction of the time the roads would take us!"
"Excellent idea," Carol cheered.
"Wait a damn minute," Arthur could be heard. "What do you mean 'the roads'?"
"Um, Izzy?" Owen nervously laughed. "Aren't we staying on the road?"
Justin's eyes were widening as Izzy made a turn. He gripped his seat and muttered, "Girls, this is really a bad idea-"
"Can it, Mr. Model," Izzy shouted. "We're going in!"
"Carol," Arthur shouted over the radio again. "What color is that line Izzy wanted to go on?"
"Blue!"
"No! Don't tell me we're going into a ri-"
The semi-truck splashed as it plunged into the river. Roaring normally, it drove down the stream, a menace to the river's society.
"Drive drive drive the semi gently down the stream," Izzy and Carol sang, "run over the crocodiles, listen to them scream!"
Owen was crying in the back, hugging Arthur tight. "I'm not a good swimmer," he wailed to his captive. "If we sink, I might not be able to swim to the surface!"
"Mrrfffmmmrr," Arthur groaned, unable to speak with Owen's arm around his mouth.
Then Owen farted. He chuckled nervously when he saw Arthur's eyes go wide, and said, "Sorry! Fear of death makes me a little gassy."
He farted again. Arthur was slowly starting to pray that the river would be deep enough to sink them.
(Janitor's Closet, Post Race Recordings)
Arthur - \His hair is completely ruffled, and he looks a little green.\ "That was about as much fun as a bath in a septic tank. Why the hell did I have to be in back again? I used nuclear explosion in rock-paper-scissors, but Izzy said her Chuck Norris beats that. So damn unfair..."
\He shakes his right hand.\ "My hand is still throbbing when she roundhouse kicked it. I still cannot believe she did that."
Izzy - \singing happily\ "Driving a truck, driving a big ol' truck!
Wallowing down the riverbed, wheels driving through the muck!"
Justin - "All I could think of when Izzy went to drive into the river is that I might not see Beth or my family again! And if I did, I'd probably have worry lines so big, they'd cover my face and travel under my hair!" \He shivers.\
Owen - "Arthur seemed pretty miserable back there. Maybe I should have held him tighter for comfort."
Carol - "Hey, if anyone tries to put 'driving on a river' in my record, I can safely say that Izzy was driving that vehicle. I was just the passenger. Plus, we didn't sink, so how bad was it, huh?"
(Team 1 - Duncan, Eva, Xander, Yoshi; pink beetle)
The four were silent on the trip there. Though they had rested comfortably and eaten well, they still weren't very happy with their choice of vehicle.
Duncan was now driving, sitting as low as possible so he couldn't see the pink hood of his car. Yoshi sat in the passenger seat, working on a sudoku book. Eva and Xander were seated in the back, with her making quick glances at him; he was handsome in her eyes, and anything handsome to distract her from being in a pink shell hell of a car was good enough.
"I'm actually a little amazed," Yoshi said to Duncan after a long period of silence, "that you have a license, seeing that you were in juvie before the show, Duncan."
"Aw, it was before TDI. I finished it shortly after TDC," the punk said, smirking proudly.
"Still, amazing you had time to get your license."
Duncan chuckled, but said nothing. Yoshi immediately stopped doing his sudoku and looked up. "You do have your license, right Duncan?"
More silence ensued. Yoshi was starting to get worried now. "I repeat," he said, louder now, "you do have your license, don't y-"
"Hey Duncan," Xander interrupted the warrior in mid-interrogation, "you might want to consider pulling over."
"Why?"
"Engine's making funny noises."
"It's a funny car," Duncan muttered. "We don't need to pull over, we got enough troubles, what with the other teams driving race cars and Hummers!"
"Is your masculinity threatened by that?" Eva asked, chuckling darkly. "Frankly, I think the pink beetle suits you, Duncan, because you probably have a really un-masculine p-"
She was cut off when a loud explosion came from the hood, and smoke drifted out. All four jumped, and Duncan immediately pulled over.
"Now which of us jinxed us there?" Xander asked as they all stepped out.
"Ah, son of a bitch," Duncan snarled. "The engine is probably cooked."
"Should have seen that coming," Yoshi said with a sigh. "I mean, how long could this pitiful car drive without a break?"
"I hate this little piece of pink crap," Eva shouted, kicking the side and putting deep dents in the metal. "Now we've lost for certain."
"I wouldn't say that," Xander said. "We're about a hour drive from the nearest station. We just gotta push the car there, and pay for repairs."
"Are you crazy?" Duncan spat. "An hour drive distance? That'll take forever pushing!"
Yoshi glared at him. "Are you forgetting who's on your team, baka?"
"First, no, I didn't. And second, what the hell is 'baka'?"
Eva growled and shook her head. "Look, morons, put your manhoods to the side, and let's just get going. Xander and I will push. Duncan, you steer."
"Steer? The engine is blown," Duncan pointed out.
"Someone has to keep it in neutral, and steer turns, you dumbass!"
Duncan seethed, then got into the car with Yoshi. Eva and Xander began to push, and the progress went a lot faster than any of them could think of.
"Finally, the one good thing about this pink piece of crap," Eva said to her fellow pusher, "it's light, so this break down is a lot easier than if the Hummer broke down."
He didn't reply. Eva then noticed he was straining a lot, his right leg fumbling to push. He was already sweating.
"What's wrong with you?" she asked.
"Oh nothing. Just easier to do this when my bike breaks down," he grunted. When he tried push the car with his right leg with support, he hissed in pain and squatted down to grab it.
"Now I know you're lying," Eva snapped. "What's wrong with your leg?"
"It's normally not this bad," he grunted. "Damn it, I never had this much of a problem."
"Okay handsome, no need to prove yourself," Eva said as she pulled him up. "I know you're tough, but let's have Yoshi push instead of you."
"O... okay."
"Man. Your facial scar, your bad leg, you're a mystery," Eva said, quirking her eyebrow. "Did Chris pick you just because you're an enigma?"
"That, and I'm so damn handsome," he joked, grinning at her before heading over to the passenger door.
Eva chuckled, then tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Yes. Yes, you are."
"Pardon?" Yoshi asked, looking confused as he headed over.
"Nothing! Just push the pink piece of crap with me, noodle arm."
Yoshi growled at her as he began to push. "You know, one day, I'll prove that I'm stronger than you there! If I had used my left hand-"
"I'm not left-handed, and you cannot arm wrestle with opposite arms!"
"I know that, I'm not stupid!"
"Really? You could have fooled me!"
"At least I'm not stupid to keep denying I like someone!"
The pushing was getting much more difficult, but their frustration kept up their efforts. Neither noticed Duncan and Xander frantically waving and shouting for them to stop, because they were heading for a steep dip. Duncan had the break all the way down, but it wasn't stopping Eva and Yoshi.
"Why is everyone on my case about Cody and me?" Eva growled as she shoved the pink beetle. "It's my own damn business!"
"Because you keep denying it, and then you avoid him when he's around! At this rate, Anita's going to get with him in no time!"
"Oh, what could he possibly see in that big-breasted bimbo?"
"A lot more than that, and pardon me for asking, but aren't you a D-cup too?"
"You looking to get your ass beat?"
"Oh, think you can take me? I know martial arts!"
"That's it! Time to put up or shut up, you-"
They stopped when the pink beetle suddenly swooped down from their hands. Yoshi and Eva winced as the car shot down the hill, Duncan and Xander still in it. They heard the two boys scream as the vehicle raced down, out of control.
"... Oops," Eva muttered, wringing her hands nervously. To her surprise, Yoshi was laughing.
"Did you hear the way Duncan screamed?" Yoshi laughed.
The two cackled, and high-fived.
(Janitor's Closet, Post Race Recordings)
Duncan - "First those jerks insult me, then they almost kill me! I was thrilled that I was with tough people, but after the pink beetle was our car, everything went downhill. I wish Princess was on our team."
Yoshi - "Oddly enough, this is how I see my relationship with Eva for the entire show. We will fight and threaten each other, then someone else will get injured, and we'll laugh. She'll make a very competitive rival, right next to that Daisy girl."
Xander - "Hehe, that Yoshi and Eva, what a sense of humor. Luckily, Duncan got a hold on the steering wheel after he got a hold of his screaming." \He cackles.\
Eva - \She frowns angrily, drumming her fingers on her arm.\ "I guess I cannot avoid the interrogations any more, so I might as well go after Cody after today. It will be hard, but I know I can be more interesting than that Anita girl! And yes, I have D-cups too!"
\Eva looks around then sighs.\ "Oh, why the hell am I admitting that?"
(Team 6 - Jasmine, Hannah, Howard, Lindsay, Mandy, Tyler; small bus)
"We are so far behind," Jasmine wailed, gripping her beret. "I think they all passed us!"
"We slept in too late," Howard said with a sigh. He pat Jasmine on the shoulder. "Don't worry, we'll be fine."
"No, we won't," Mandy shouted, leaping up from her feet and startling the two. "We are behind, we're driving a slow vehicle, and Shub-Niggurath will send her dark minions after us as punishment!"
"Shub-what?" Jasmine repeated. [2]
"This is all your fault, Jesus girl," Mandy continued to rant, storming towards the front.
Hannah was busy driving, humming to herself. Without a CD player, she had to make her own music. "Would He wear a pinky ring / would He drive a fancy car? / Would His wife wear furs and diamonds, / would His dressing room have a star?"
"Stop singing church songs, you noob," the cultist girl hollered, startling Hannah. "Why don't you drive faster?"
"I can't, but I am taking a shortcut," Hannah said, smiling politely. "See, most of the others went on the straight freeway, but we're taking more of the mountain road."
"Why the hells are we doing that?"
"Because it's actually a lot shorter, but most of them want to drive on a straight freeway with their vehicles. We should be there-"
"Oh, I suppose God told you to take this path," Mandy snapped. "Well, Yig the lizard Old God told me that you're nuts! We so lost this contest!"
She spun around and threw her hands up, grumbling angrily to herself. She past by Lindsay and Tyler, who were making out again. "And you two," she shouted, "stop sucking face!"
"This team stinks," Jasmine grumbled. "What with the kissing couple, that religious fanatic, and Mandy. Not to mention the bus smells."
"What about me?" Howard asked, pretending to sound upset.
"Naw, you're cute," Jasmine said. "But you're pining for another girl. I wonder if she predicted how bad we'd do."
There was a wet slurping sound as Tyler released his lips from Lindsay. "We should stop for a while, dudes! Give the motor a break!"
"Good idea, face sucking infidel," Mandy exclaimed. She headed back up to the front and hollered, "Hey, Jesus Girl, stop the bus!"
"Is something wrong-"
"STOP THE BUS!"
Hannah pulled over to the side and stopped. Mandy yanked the door handle open, and stormed outside. "You stupid mortals are getting on my last nerve. Wish I had my rats with me."
"What... what is wrong?" Hannah asked, looking back at the others.
"Nothing," Jasmine snapped as she walked out. "Don't worry your head about it, you'll be out of the contest soon enough."
"Sorry, but yeah," Howard added as he stepped out.
(Janitor's Closet, Post Race Recordings)
Jasmine - "I think everyone was bitter on that bus because it brings back bad memories. The terrible smells, sitting next to the unpleasant creeps, the time Johnny threw up and they didn't clean that up for a whole week! Argh! Why? Why must the students suffer so? Wasn't anyone thinking of the teenagers?!"
Howard - "You know, maybe I was a little too harsh. I'm sure I could get Belinda's attention by the fourth challenge! Maybe even the third if we're on the same team"
Tyler - "That was an awesome challenge! I want more challenges like that!"
Lindsay - \She is tapping her lips.\ "I think Tyler and I kissed for too long, my lips feel fat. Now I know how that Tangerina Jumpy feels."
Hannah sighed heavily, then looked back at her only remaining teammates. Lindsay and Tyler had gone back to making out right away, petting each other. She decided though those outside were hostile, she might as well step outside to get some air.
They had parked on a cliff rest stop, one that had a railing around the edge. Howard had popped the lid to the bus, and was looking inside. Jasmine was watching him.
"Do you know what you're doing?" she asked him.
"Sure I do," he said, actually just looking around and unable to tell if anything was wrong, but trying to look impressive. "And I know that we have plenty of wiper fluid."
Hannah crossed her arms and looked over the cliff. It was a beautiful view, but the height was intimidating; she wondered if it was almost a kilometer.
"This place sucks," Mandy, close by, grumbled. She was standing right on the edge, looking over at the horizon. "Why do they call this 'God's country'? It looks like something Ithaqua would live in."
"Who?" Hannah asked.
"What, you disapprove of my Gods?" she snapped immediately. "I knew you wouldn't understand! Or tolerate!"
"I didn't say anything-"
"You stand there with your conservative blouse and your yellow hair," Mandy continued on. "You think you're better than me?"
"No, no I don't-"
"Liar! I know how it is with you heathen mortals! Always think you're better! Well, I've had it!"
She stormed over to the side of the cliff and kicked the railing. "I am so sick of being judged! I've been judged more than a kleptomaniac's life span."
"Mandy, wait," Hannah said, stepping forward, "you really shouldn't stand so close to the edge-"
"Now you're telling me what to do," the cultist shouted, then pointed a sign nearby. "That says it's a stable cliff viewing site!"
"But that sign says the last time the site was checked was ten years ago-"
"Quit telling me what to do!"
Mandy stomped her foot angrily. Hannah took a step back, intimidated by the angry stare (the cultist's red eyes, though artificial, were off-putting).
Time seemed to freeze when the ground cracked. Mandy looked down to see the ground breaking away where she had stomped. She could feel the side of the cliff collapsing underneath her.
She didn't even have time to curse or cry out when the cliff broke off under her, and Mandy felt herself plummet...
--
--
--
So what will happen to Mandy? Will one of her Old Gods save her? Will Harvey the Wonder Hamster save her?
Which team is going to win first place? Which two will come in last?
And the case that will cause the most frustration among all of you: who is getting voted off?
--
[1] - A very unsubtle way of hinting about a side story I'll write sometime soon. \wink wink\
[2] - Yes, Shub-Niggurath is the name of an Old God. Blame H.P. Lovecraft for the name, not me.
--
Next Up: The end of the race, and the second trophy ceremony!