Chapter Six:

Crack the shutters open wide, I wanna bathe you in the light of day

Alec felt like he'd been hit by a bus. He forced his eyes open and cursed as sunlight poured in. Bleary-eyed, he struggled to orient himself.

This isn't the Institute. But if this isn't the Institute, then where –?

Oh shit.

Magnus.

As some of the events of the previous night flooded back to him, he emitted an audible moan.

"Good morning, sunshine."

Alec rolled over gingerly and felt the whole room roll with him. Fighting the urge to vomit, he tried, somewhat unsuccessfully, to focus his eyes on the warlock next to him. At least Magnus didn't look like he'd been hit by a bus.

"Kill me," he begged him, "kill me, now."

"Well, that wouldn't be any fun for me, now would it?"

Alec shot him a glare, the most convincing one he could muster in his debilitated state. Magnus most certainly did not look like he'd been hit by a bus. Clad in his housecoat, his hair was wet and freshly combed and the scent of mint toothpaste was wafting towards Alec, doing nothing for his nausea.

"What the hell happened last night?"

"It would appear," Magnus was containing his amusement remarkably well, "that you fell into the bottle. Probably more than one, if we're to be entirely honest."

"I hate you."

"On the contrary, my dear. You love me."

Alec groaned. He'd forgotten about that.

"Fortunately for you," Magnus continued, "I love you, too, and have no desire to watch you suffer any further."

A cool glass was pressed into Alec's hand.

"Drink this. It'll help."

Magnus helped him into a sitting position and brought the glass to his lips. Alec swallowed all of the purple grape-flavoured liquid and immediately felt drowsy. As his limbs grew heavy, Magnus guided him back to the bed. The last thing that Alec remembered before falling back into the void of sleep was the brush of Magnus's lips against his cheek.

*

The next time that Alec awoke, the room was stationary and he no longer had to fight to steady himself. Magnus's bedroom was not quite as bright as before, but he could tell by the angle of the sunlight that warmed the room that it was still morning. Magnus was gone.

Slightly apprehensive, he swung his legs off the side of the bed and padded out of the bedroom. As the door swung open, his nostrils were filled with the scent of breakfast being cooked downstairs. By the time that he reached the kitchen, he was wringing his hands anxiously.

Magnus was standing at the stove with his back to the door. Alec watched him for a moment and then, drawing a deep breath, sneaked up behind him quietly. He embraced him from behind, nestling his chin on Magnus's shoulder. Magnus started as Alec's hands stopped and rested on his flat abdominal muscles.

"You scared me," he admitted, turning slightly.

Alec smiled shyly against his neck, "'Morning."

Magnus strained his neck to make eye contact. "You look significantly better than you did the last time I saw you."

Alec snorted lightly.

"I'm serious."

"I don't doubt it," Alec squeezed him gently, almost imperceptibly. "I really appreciate what you did for me, you know."

"You're welcome," Magnus smiled and continued stirring the eggs he was scrambling. "Would you mind popping in a couple of pieces of toast?"

Alec dropped his arms, reluctantly, and did what he asked. When their food was finished, they loaded their plates and took them to the small breakfast nook off the kitchen and sat down. They ate in companionable, if not slightly awkward, silence until Magnus pushed his plate away.

"We need to talk."

What did you expect? He broke up with you, remember?

Alec's heart hit the floor. "We're back to that, again?"

Magnus looked down at his hands.

"Damn it, Magnus –"

The light streamed it, playing in Magnus's dark hair, bringing out all of its dimensions, making it even more lustrous than it already was.

Fuck you for being so attractive.

"Alec, you –"

"– I came here because I made a mistake." Alec was raging now. "I know that now. Can't you just let it go?"

"Alec. We need to talk about what happened last night."

"I mean, honestly – why d'you always have to –" Alec stopped, "oh. Last night. Right, sorry."

Magnus was smirking. "Testy, are we?"

"Maybe."

"Listen, Alec, you can't do things like that. Do you not understand how dangerous was? What if something had happened to you?"

Guilt flashed across Alec's face. "Magnus, I'm really sorry."

"I'm sure you are, but Alec –"

"No, I am. I know that it was irresponsible. I just feel like I need to explain myself."

Magnus waited expectantly.

"I always knew that I was different. I wasn't like other people. I tried so hard to be, but I couldn't. It didn't matter what I did, nothing worked. I thought that there was something wrong with me, Magnus," his voice broke and his brows furrowed as he struggled to keep his emotions in check.

Magnus laid a warm hand onto Alec's and squeezed a silent show of support.

"As I got older, when I realised that I was gay, I felt a little bit better. I knew that I felt different from everyone else because I was different, it wasn't something I'd made up in my head," he paused again before continuing. "But at the same time, I felt like I'd done something to deserve it. I felt like I was being punished. "

"Alec."

"I did. I was so ashamed of myself but it was like no matter how hard I tried to stop being like that, I couldn't."

"Of course you couldn't." Magnus had gone a sickly colour beneath his tan and when he looked down at their hands on the table was not surprised to see that their fingers were now intertwined tightly.

"And then I met you."

"You met me and –?"

"And I fell in love with you and my whole life changed. I've never let anyone in before. Even when I thought I loved Jace. It wasn't the same. I think that on some level I knew that and it scared the hell out of me," he admitted, shaking his head slowly. "And before I knew it you were gone and it was my fault and I hated myself for being responsible for it all. I can't do it again, Magnus. I can't go back to that."

Magnus leaned toward him. "You don't have to," he whispered against his mouth before meeting Alec's lips as gently as he could.

Alec sighed softly and kissed him back desperately. Their hands had somehow separated and he now had one hand resting against Magnus's heart, could feel it beating confidently within his chest.

Something must have broken Magnus's concentration for he pulled back suddenly and stared at Alec. His hand came up again to steady Alec's own. He had not noticed that he'd been shaking slightly.

A/N: I know it's been a while since I updated and I'm sorry. I had three papers to write and I was sick :(

This chapter's a little short but I felt terrible having not written in so long.

I promise that the next chapter willl be longer and up much quicker than this one!

I've got the story pretty well plotted but I would be curious to know where you guys think that it's going.

Questions, suggestions, comments, criticisms? I'd love to hear them all - the good, the bad, the ugly - so feel free to leave me a review ;)

Mortal Instruments belongs to Cassandra Clare.