A/N:
You guys have no idea how happy it makes me that you are enjoying the story! This story has gone in a lot of different directions since I first planned it out. A lot of the changes you haven't seen yet, but it's changed quite a bit. Much of that is due to your reviews and comments. I read every one and defnintely make adjustments to future chapters. So, please let me know your thoughts!
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Chapter 6:
April 2009- Seattle
EPOV
I had gone out with Emmett and Lauren and Tanya. We were planning on meeting Jasper and the girl he'd been dating for an after dinner drink. I had been working non-stop and was exhausted, but I needed a night out with my friends in order to feel normal. I also wanted to meet the girl that had Jasper walking around with that stupid grin on his face.
As we sat at the bar waiting, I saw the girls' faces change to recognition, indicating Jasper's arrival. I stood, politely, and turned to greet him. My face fell and time stood still as my eyes fixed on his date.
Bella.
"Bella, I'd like you to meet my friends. This is Emmett and his friend Lauren, and this is Edward and his friend Tanya," Jasper said, energetic as usual.
Jasper's her boyfriend? Jasper?
She looked as stunning as I remembered. I hadn't seen her in five years but I had certainly thought about her plenty in that time and she was just as breathtaking as she had been so long ago. This was like something out of a nightmare that she'd be standing in front of me as my good friend's girlfriend. I instinctively put out my hand to shake hers but she looked just as frozen as I was. She reluctantly outstretched her hand as she spoke softly.
"Actually…we've…uh…met before. It's been a while though," she said meekly.
Yes Bella, we've met before. We've touched before. We've kissed before. We've loved before.
Emmett obviously recognized the girl who had captivated me all those years before and jumped in, saving me from my humiliating display.
Emmett hugged her tightly as I watched, still in shock over seeing her again.
My body heat had risen drastically when I shook Bella's hand. The same electricity was still present even after all this time. I could still feel it linger in my palm. I needed to do something to ease the tension that I was feeling and desperately hoped that no one was picking up on.
"It has been a while. It's nice to see you, Bella," I said as calmly as I possibly could.
I would have given anything to know what she was thinking at that moment. Did she feel the electricity too? Her face blushed and I felt all the emotions from five years before coming to the surface. I'd tried to suppress my feelings for her when I came back to the States. Our situation was futile back then, yet I had not had a relationship with anyone in the last five years that could compare to what we had. Living without her had been the hardest thing I'd ever had to do and now she was standing in front of me, unknowingly taunting me with my best friend.
After the introductions were made, we all sat down and I tried to make the conversation seem natural. I would occasionally catch Bella's glance and we'd both look away. Jasper touched Bella as any boyfriend would, but my blood was boiling at the sight. I was insanely jealous, even though I knew I had no right to be. I was only halfway paying attention to the conversation, feeling overwhelmed with emotion.
God, I need another drink.
Bella started talking about her work as an art consultant and I hung on her every word. I remembered fondly how passionate she was about it and was glad to know that she had ended up in a field where she had so much talent. I wished I hadn't missed the last five years.
Tanya chimed in about visiting Bella at her gallery and it immediately became clear to me that it must look like she and I were a couple. Bella's glances told me that she believed that as well.
I wonder if that bothers her, the way seeing her with Jasper is bothering me.
Although I enjoyed Tanya's company, we had never dated, much to her dismay. Our families had been friends forever and always hoped we'd end up together. Tanya had pursued me when we were younger, but it was never going to happen. I felt sibling devotion, not romance, with her. We ended up as each other's dates a lot, both of us being single, but we were just friends.
Jasper and Bella got up to dance as I glared from my chair. His hands caressed her back as his lips grazed her shoulder. He pulled her close to him as they swayed to the music. My body heat rose again wishing more than anything that I could have her that close to me just one more time. I remembered vividly dancing so close with her, feeling her breasts against my chest and inhaling the scent of her hair. Her skin had been so soft against my touch and against my lips. Her graceful fingers had spread wide caressing my hair as I spun her around the dance floor. And then she was gone and so were her touches.
I was young when we were in Europe and didn't realize that love like that didn't happen everyday. My past experiences before Europe didn't compare. I thought I had been in love but no one had made me feel the way Bella did.
I had no way of knowing at the time how profoundly Bella had changed me. No one I dated could compare. I had resigned myself that no one ever would and I only hoped that I could still find a way to move on and be happy. I hoped Bella would be happy too. As much as I couldn't stand the thought of her with someone else, she deserved happiness.
After returning to Los Angeles, it took me a while to even be interested in another woman. I ended up dating as I felt I should, but no one made me feel the things that Bella had. No one understood me the way Bella had. We had shared something wonderful and unique. Would Bella have any idea how much I still cared for her? How much I had always cared for her?
Why would she? You haven't seen or talked to her in years.
I shouldn't have been shocked that Bella had a boyfriend. I guess I secretly hoped that she'd have waited for me and that she'd recognized just how special what we had was. But, of course, that was selfish and unrealistic. She was beautiful and smart and lit up a room. All the times that Jasper had talked about her suddenly came to my mind. I realized then that it wasn't shock about her having a boyfriend that was coursing through my body, it was jealousy.
After his first date with her, he had come home and wouldn't shut up about how great she was. The thought of Bella being that girl that he gushed about made me crazy. I'd never been more thankful than I was at that point that Jasper wasn't one of those guys who talked about his sex life. I couldn't handle knowing details about him being with my Bella. Thinking of him touching her made me see red.
I wanted desperately to do something, anything, to get Bella back but I couldn't do that to Jasper. He was a good friend and didn't deserve that. I suppose it was payback for being such a fool all those years before. Because of my stupidity then, now I would have to suffer by watching my Bella with my best friend.
Bella and Jasper left the bar and I pounded two more drinks to help numb my head. My memories and my emotions were too much to handle. I couldn't think about it anymore. Tanya was completely oblivious to my agony, but Emmett was not. I could see him eyeing me throughout the night and knew that he'd caught on. The girls went to the restroom before we left and Emmett saw his chance to confront me and wasted no time.
"So Edward, Bella and Jasper?" he started, "What are the odds?"
"A million to fucking one," I said, shaking my head and running my hand through my hair. "Why did it have to be Jasper? Fuck." I could feel the hostility rolling off of me.
"What are you so upset about? She's some girl you hooked up with five years ago for like two days. Do you really still have feelings for her?" Emmett asked bluntly.
I could tell that Emmett was just trying to bait me so he could gauge my reaction, but I couldn't stop myself after hearing those words about Bella.
"Fuck you, Emmett. She's not 'some girl' and it was more than a hook up and you damn well know that. Shit! You'd think I'd be over her, but seeing her with him…fuck," I wiped my face with my hands in frustration.
"Edward, I do know what she meant to you. I remember how devastated you were after we got back from Europe. But, she's with Jasper. You can't do anything that would fuck things up between them. You have to get over it."
"I know I do," I sighed. "I just didn't expect to see her again, let alone with him."
The girls returned from the bathroom, rescuing me from my conversation with Emmett. I knew that the conversation wasn't over, but it bought me some time. I drank a little more, okay a lot more than usual as the night wore on. We all said goodnight. I knew I would see Bella again and I wasn't looking forward to it being as Jasper's date. What a shitty friend I was, thinking of only my own discomfort instead of being happy for them. They deserved happiness.
I barely got any rest. Thoughts of Bella kept floating through my head. Memories of our time together were so vivid. I could almost feel her soft skin as I kissed her below her ear in my dreams. I woke with dread knowing that she was probably being kissed and it wasn't by me. Around six, I gave up trying to sleep. I left our house early to get some coffee hoping that it would make my hangover go away and that this would end up being some bad dream that never really happened. I wasn't prepared to face Jasper and I didn't know if Bella had stayed the night. I'd never seen her stay over before obviously, but I couldn't bear to run into her coming out of Jasper's room with him. That would most certainly push me over the edge.
After what I thought was a safe amount of time, I returned to our apartment and unfortunately ran into Jasper in the kitchen. He looked sullen, drinking a cup of coffee and reading the newspaper.
"Hey Edward," Jasper said, peering up over his paper.
"Hi Jasper."
I had no idea what to say to him. "I fell in love with your girlfriend in Europe and think I might still love her," just didn't seem like the right approach.
"Last night was interesting," he said. "I thought things went well, at least at first. What did you think of Bella?"
You really don't want to know.
"Well, I knew her before. She was nice back then and she didn't seem to have changed much," I said, hoping he'd drop it.
"That's right. How weird that you knew Bella before you even moved here."
"Yeah, we met when I went to Europe with Emmett and Demetri right before you started at UCLA," I said, keeping the details brief and looking around the room nervously. "Is…Bella here?"
"Bella? No, she's not here." He shook his head and furrowed his brow. "She called me this morning to meet her for coffee and when I got there, she broke up with me."
Holy shit.
"I'm sorry. That sucks," I lied.
"Yeah, tell me about it. The worst part is that I have no idea what happened. I thought we were doing well." He shrugged. "I thought we were having fun last night. Hell, I don't know. I guess I should have seen it coming. She was acting weird when I dropped her off. She didn't even kiss me goodnight."
Thank God for small favors.
"I didn't notice anything either. You guys seemed to be having fun to me."
Could this conversation get any worse?
"She's amazing, and I could totally picture myself with her." He looked distraught as he spoke. "I really thought she could be 'the one', you know? I'm at that point in my life where I'm ready to settle down. I'm sick of random dating. I know what I want and she has it all. Ah, who the hell knows…"
I tried to be empathetic to Jasper. I felt bad that he was hurt by the breakup but I couldn't help but feel happy that he wasn't dating her anymore. I wondered if it had anything to do with me. The timing would certainly be coincidental- one night she's happy with Jasper, then she runs into me and suddenly she breaks up with him. It was probably wishful thinking, but it gave me a glimmer of hope. Hope for what, I wasn't sure. I wouldn't hurt Jasper so nothing could come of it.
You're such an asshole.
I wandered into my room and dug through my pants from the night before. Bella's business card stared back at me. I wanted to call her. I wanted to hear her voice. I had no idea what I would say, but I had to see her. I felt like I owed her an explanation. I wanted her to know that I hadn't forgotten her; that my memories of loving her were some of the fondest of my life.
I walked over to my closet and pulled down the tattered shoe box that I'd carried around with me for years. Sitting on the bed, I carefully opened it and thumbed through the countless letters that had gone unmailed- letters to Bella. I wrote tirelessly about my hopes to see her again but never found the strength to mail them. The letters contained all of my thoughts about Europe and my life without her and even my choice of cities for my residency. I confessed that I had loved her in Paris, but was too afraid to tell her. The situation between us back then made it difficult for both of us. She had no idea that the letters existed, nor would she.
I nervously grabbed my cell phone, slumped down on the bed and dialed the number. I could feel my heart pounding through my chest.
"Thank you for calling the Alcala Gallery, this is Bella Swan." Her voice was just as low and silky as I remembered, and it made my heart pound even harder to hear her.
"Bella?" I said as my voice cracked. "It's Edward."
There was a long silence on the phone. I could hear her breathing and clearing her throat, formulating a response.
"Hello Edward," she replied softly. "What can I do for you?"
"I just talked to Jasper…I…can we meet…I just…there are things that need to be said." I stammered.
She sighed deeply. "I don't know, Edward. What's there to say?"
"Please, Bella. I haven't seen you in five years. I was completely thrown for a loop when you showed up last night."
She chuckled lightly as if she could identify with my feelings.
"Tell me about it," she exhaled a long soft breath, "since the last time I talked to you, you lived in Los Angeles."
"Will you please meet me?" I pressed, hoping I sounded sincere and not totally desperate.
The silence seemed like forever. "All right, Edward, I'll meet you," she said finally. "I get off work at 6:00."
I was relieved that she agreed to meet me, but now I was even more nervous. We arranged to meet at a coffee shop around the corner. I had no idea what I was going to say, but I wouldn't let her walk out of my life for the second time. That much I knew.
"Edward?" she asked before hanging up.
"Yes?"
"Will you just answer me this one question?" she asked nervously, stumbling on her words.
Anything for you.
She continued, "You've been living in Seattle for months now and have never tried to contact me. Why now?"
Right then I knew she had been thinking of me too. And I was going to make sure she knew the truth.
When my voice came out, I didn't recognize it as my own, "You're wrong Bella. I did try to contact you."
