A/N:Okay, i owe you some explanations... Highschool sucks what the fuck can i tell you? Writing in a language that you don't dominate is still hard when it comes to writing down action sequences, worst is writing what happens BEFORE those sequences, lucky me, i got the best crew of supporting friends! So, thank you very much... wait let me get the list... thanks to my brother Sergio for beggining to read this crazy train heading for ka-boum ville, Nomad, Wolf, The Dude and Sheridan who came up with The Greasy Pennies' name and lyrics and YOU asswipe for anonimously reading this.
-Al.
Now let's keep going were we left off.
"So, wanna get "intimate" Rammy?" said Scott as he got closer to his girlfriend.
"Scott, did you forgot what happened last time we "got intimate" with a guest? Christ, i couldn't look Kim on the face for a week."
"But that was the other apartment! I mean... i don't think he would mind anyways right?..." said Scott as he began kissing Ramona's neck.
"Well, maybe if we keep it dow..." before Ramona could finish her sentence, a scream rang throught the house. Scott and Ramona quickly got downstairs to see Robert on the ground, pointing at the couple with a pistol on his hands.
"WHO'S THERE?!" yelled Robert before he realized where he was and lowered the gun.
"Dude, what is wrong with you?! Do you have a mental sickness or something?" asked Ramona angry.
"Well... I...Wait... i can-i can explain... just- jus-... SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! YOU CAN'T KICK ME OUT NOW PLEASE! THEY'RE CHASING ME! I KNOW IT! THEY'RE CHASING ME I SWEAR! you can't kick me out, please... im begging you, i have problems... but who doesn't... i'll pay this back, i swear, just give me some time... a little more time... we all do mistakes, but who doesn't?!" begged Robert as he nailed to his knees, begged and then hugged Ramona's legs.
"Get off me! Im not kicking you out!" answered Ramona as she (ironically) kicked Robert off her legs. "Just tell us what is wrong with you!"
Robert hesitated for a second before getting up.
"I... had a dream... i might have saw a man... that i might met in the past... a man that i MIGHT i killed years ago..."
"Wait you're a killer?!" asked Scott excited.
"Yeah, i am, and i bet you're laughting with this kid, but it's not funny, do you know how it feels to kill someone? To end their dammed existance right in the spot they're standing in?! Seeing them never get up again?! Do you?"
"Actually... i kinda do know."
"Wait what?!"
"Yeah, like seven people... a couple of years ago... it was a ride actually! That's how i met Ramona!"
"Are you fu-fu- fucking kidding me!?"
"Can we get back to when YOU were explaining why do you have a gun?! Or gee, i don't know! How about why are you having mental breakdowns like you were some kind of psicopath, which im pretty sure you are by the way! Look, Robert, you are a good guy and all, but you have an obvious problem. Tell us what's happening ok? We will understand, we've been there, well, i've been there. We are your friends. Tell us." said Ramona as she slowly grabbed took Robert's pistol off his hands.
"Ok... just let me calm down a little..."
"Look... It's hard to put this together so i'm leaving some details off, short version is that i used to live in Spain, yes, Spain, all the way up in Europe, well, i kinda worked for a company... who might had been doing evil things behind the workers backs... i eventually found out some time before doing a trip to México, and for what i barely remember... i got drunk, menaced my boss to call the cops, pissed on his desk and left. I completly forgot about that night, but my boss didn't. So he sacrificed a major "business" operation to get rid of the me. The night before the deal, some jackass dressed out like me and did nasty things to certain people, so when i woke up next day..."
Robert tried to finish the sentence but he clenched both his fists in anger and punched the wall next to him. "Fuck that hurts" he said as he sit back in his chair.
"Let's just say that's how i met that "Miguel" fella i talked about before. He saved my ass that day and got blamed as well so we became friends, we splitted last year in New York and then... well you know the rest."
"That explains a lot." said Ramona surprised.
"Also, it's worth mentioning that i had multiple drug addictions in my 5 years as a criminal." answered Robert now more calm.
"And that explains the rest."
"Look, you have to keep this as a secret, im retired, my career? it's over, but if people find out about this, it's bye-bye Toronto for me, so PLEASE do me this favour, i know i've been the worst roommate in the last 2 days, but i swear i'll pay you this back, all of it, when im done repaying you'll be on the fucking stars i promise."
"It's not like we were going to announce it anyways..." said Ramona as she rose both her arms in a "whatever" motion. "But ok, we both promise not to tell a word no matter what happens. Happy?"
"Pretty much. I better go to sleep again." Robert got up and walked back to the couch.
"Goodnight. And please don't make moaning sounds." said Robert as he pulled his pillow over his head and went to sleep.
"Wait... you heard it all?!"
Stills' Place, The Next day.
"Where did Robert got that guitar again?" asked Stephen "The Talent" Stills (I really ran out of ideas to write in here.) as he tuned his own guitar.
"I dunno, it was there when Ramona and i woke up." answered Scott as he tuned his Rickenbacker. (Reader's note: Didn't that bass break in Vol. 5?!) (RR note:Yeah... he fixed it, now shut up and read.)
"I know a guy. That's all you gotta know." interrupted Robert after he finished tuning his Gibson SG and plugged it to an amp. "Soooo, how do we do this again? Do you give me the tabs and i learn them or do just play some covers?"
And then, an awkward silence filled the room.
"Do you hear that Stephen? That's the magnificent sound of I. TOLD. YOU. SO." said Kim almost with a grin, breaking the silence.
"Well... this is where the bad news come in Robert." Stills sat on his amp and tried to explain himself. "You see, all of our songs have only one guitar... mine to be more specific. So, to prove yourself capable of becoming a member of Sex-bob-omb... you're going to fix that."
"And i suppose you are helping me with this right?"
"Right. Last thing i want is you butchering our repertoire."
"Are you guys going to play something or what?" asked Young Neil, sitting on the couch in front of them next to Knives.
"And what would that suppose to be, i only know punk songs and the entire Smashing Pumpkings' discography!"
"WE ARE SEX-BOB-OMB, AND WE ARE PLAYING "CHERUB ROCK"! yelled Kim at the top of her lungs as she clashed her drumsticks together, ready to play.
ONE,
TWO,
THREE,
FOUR!
Hours Later.
"Ok, you gotta tell me where you got that guitar man." asked Scott as he walked down the street back home with Robert.
"You know, i think you woulda figured it out by now kid." answered Robert in a mix of dissapoinment and surprise.
"Well... i..." Scott tried to form a sentence without result.
"Some people i know owe me cash or... "other things", i just had to make a call to a pawn shop and ask for the gibson guitar they always have on those joints. Easy."
For the next ten minutes the couple would be silently walking the long road back home, only interrupted by the occasional car. After much thinking, Robert decided to talk.
"Soooo... mind if i ask you a question?" said Robert as he pulled a carton of cigarretes from his jacket.
"You are already asking one." answered Scott.
"Real funny." he muttered before lighting a cigarrete.
"You can just ask me, i don't mind."
"Okay... got any advices for... well... dating?"
"Dating? Like , with girls?"
"YES. SCOTT, LIKE GIRLS." at this point Robert was already tired of the dumbass right next to him.
"Ey, chill! no need to be violent! Why do you need advices for that anyways?"
"How fucking dumb are you Scott? You tell me why i want tips for dating!
"Because... you wanna date someone?"
"Bin-fucking-go. Took you a while to figure out didn't you?"
"Why do you need advices for that!?" Robert facepalmed.
"Maybe because i wanna date someone? Maybe because i want to punch you in the face, or maybe i just like asking questions to a retarded canuck."
"Eh, no need to be a dick you know?... Wait a second, you wanna date someone? Who?! And why me?!"
"Yes, Knives Chau, and because you somehow managed to get Flowers in your bed, in that order."
"YOU WANNA DATE KNIVES?!"
"Ey! You reached Knives Chau, im kinda busy at the moment, so if you leave me a message i'll try to answer it later. Here comes the "beep"!" BEEP.
"Ermmm, hi, this is... Robert, the guy that Kim introduced to me the other night, soo, wanna hang up?" Robert could hear the giggles of his roommates right behind him as he spoke to the phone.
"Sure, i can hang up, where?" Knives' voice came as a surprise to Robert, who dropped the phone accidently on the floor. Ramona and Scott couldn't handle it anymore and began laughting loudly.
"SHUT UP!" he yelled before picking up the phone again. "Anywhere you want." he answered to the phone.
"Right, i forgot, you're not from here, sure, i'll give you the local rundown if that's what you want, meet me tomorrow at... i dunno, eight o' clock? Yeah, eight o' clock, i'll see you in your place." said Knives.
"Ramona's place." Knives began laughting as well from the other line. "Oh god, how did i forgot about that part...?" she said laughting. Robert hung up and slowly turned around to see both his roommates rolling in the floor laughting.
"We're really don't mean it... it's just so cute and funny at the same time!" tried to explain Ramona still laughting.
"And here it is! Sneaky Dee's! Good drinks, godawful food and free bands on Fridays!" said Knives to her partner hours later in front of the venue. The sign, along with the entire bar was covered up with graffiti, both on the inside and outside. The bar seemed almost full from the outside as every table was filled with patrons and drunktards.
"Right, so how do you know about this place again?" asked Robert as he and Knives got inside. The smell of fresh concert, drinks and chaos entered in both their heads in an instant.
"Well, Pilgrim and the guys hung up here all the time and they invited me sometimes, it kinda sucked, mostly because i was socially denied, but at least the drinks were ok. C'mon let's get upstairs, they're playing a show in there!" said Knives as she run upstairs excited.
"There's actually shows on this shithole?!" said Robert before getting hard looks from every single patron on the bar and staircase.
"Oh please, i've seen skateparks cleaner than this place."
"That's the joke asshole!" yelled one of the patrons.
"Look how i laugh. HAH. HAH." The patron pulled him the middle finger. Knives grabbed Robert by his shirt's neck and dragged him upstairs.
"So much for the "Canadian Kindness" part." he muttered.
"You know, they aren't going to be kind if your are a complete asshole with everyone."
"Right, eh?"
"Really? You are going THAT low?"
"I've been wanting to drop that one since i got here!" said Robert as the couple got to the upper floor, where the concert was about to begin.
A man came into backstage and grabbed the mic.
"Okay, testing... one, two... okay it works."
"WEEEEELCOME TO SNEAKY DEE'S INDIE FRIDAYS PEOPLE, IM GLAD TO HAVE YOU ALL HERE! TODAY WE HAVE A NEW BAND THAT HAS NEVER PLAYED BEFORE HERE! SO BE GENTLE! COMING FROM... WELL, NO ONE KNOWS! LADIES AND GENTLEMAN PREPARE YOR EARS TO THE SOUNDS OF... THE GREASY... PEANIES!" said the man before a group of poorly dressed "musicians" came onto stage. The bassist was dressed like a galm rocker, the drummer looked drunk and dressed like a junkie, and the guitarrist/vocalist was dressed like a greaser.
"Okay, fuck this, Knives, i got an idea." said Robert as soon as he saw the band grabbing their instrumments.
"Wait what? C'mon man don't judge the book by its cover!"
"Ey cool cats and gals..."
"Im in."
"Right, we're gonna need instruments, something that can knock down those asswipes... and booze. A lot. Of. Booze."
5 Minutes Later.
"I think my ears bleed." said Knives as she finished her bottle of beer and stood up from the chair she was sitting on. The upper floor was half empty, whoever didn't leave after the first 20 seconds of The Greasy Penies' first song was drunk up their asses or wanting to crack the singer's head in. The band kept playing godawful "music".
"Agreed. You located all our... tools?" asked Robert to his date.
"Well, those suckers have the instruments..."
"WALKING ON THE STREET!
HOT BITCH WALKS IN..."
"How in the name of fuck can they call themselfs Alt music anyways?!" yelled Robert.
"We are drunk enough to barely stand..."
"Oh please, i've been drunker than this!" Knives strongly stepped on Robert's foot before grabbing his head and bringing his face next to hers. "Please don't interrupt me again in your entire life Robert." Knives released Ro. "As i was saying... we could use some beer barrels to take care of those jackasses."
"Right... that... was..." Robert shaked his head and got back to his senses. "Ehh... i don't wanna go to jail yet Knives. Let's use something less... deadly... if... you're fine... with that." said the man scared.
"Did you really got scared by that you crybaby?"
"Can we just grab the amps they're using and knock them the fuck out?!"
"Sounds like a plan." the couple nodded and made their way onto the stage.
"REAL ARMADILLO!"
"Ready?" asked Robert.
"EATING MY VINILLOS!"
"Ready." answered Knives.
They both climbed into stage.
"EY, WE GOT 2 JUMPERS IN HERE! ROCK O-" before the greaser could even finish his sentence Robert headbutted him in the face, throwing him down to the ground and making the crowd go nuts.
The bassist swang his bass at Knives, who dodged it without problem and kicked him off stage with both her legs. The man fell on top of the crowd.
"BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM-" Knives turned around to see Robert hitting the drummer with his own drums in the face.
"DRUM SOLO BITCH!" he said before breaking the drum inside the man's head. He then grabbed the drummer's microphone and yelled to the crowd.
"Alcohol is supreme...-hic- i am a retard... AND WE'RE BOTH STEALING THE SHOW BITCHES!"
"Robert..." the man felt a light tap on his shoulder.
"What?"
"Look down." Knives pointed to the he the bouncers, bandmates, and drunk patrons that were climbing the stage to get the couple.
"Oh crap." he quickly grabbed the microphone stand and hit The Greasy Pennies' singer,who was trying to climb back to stage. Knives grabbed his hand and jumped off stage, dragging Robert with her, landing away from the danger zone. The man landed sideways, but quickly recovered and began running into the crowd of people that were standing between them and the staircase. Knives felt something grabbing her, a guard managed to catch her by the arm.
"Get off me you dumb...ass!" Knives kicked the man in the gut and hitted the man with the back of her hand, sending him flying on the air. Knives quickly catched Rob. "You ok?" he asked.
Then they went downstairs...
Into the the door...
And off we go.
Will continue on "Life Goes On, part 3" Shit is about to break loose.