Chapter 7: Where I Can Be

(Sorry for the awfully long wait for this one. Enjoy! Love to all, Spunky)

Uryu sat quietly on his and Byakuya's bed with a large tapestry spread across the part of his lap not already supporting his large baby bump. His eyes focused intently on the pattern he was sewing, and he breathed slowly, trying to tune out a laundry list of worries that nagged constantly at his mind.

I just can't let myself get bombarded. I need to stay calm. I could go into labor at any time.

He glanced out the balcony doors at the very pale glow that marked the shielding Byakuya had placed around the estate and gardens.

We're very much looking forward to the birthing, but it's hard to fully enjoy it, knowing that once the first child comes, we will face constant danger. The noble lords are angry that Haschwalth let us go. They should understand that he didn't have a choice, but Bazz-B warned us they are out for blood…and the blood they most want to see spilled is Byakuya's. They will try to lure me back with our child, and they will use us to get Byakuya to come. We all know that is their plan, although I don't know how they plan to circumvent the charm that Byakuya wears.

I have to stop thinking about this!

He turned his attention back to the tapestry in front of him, then sighed unhappily as he realized he had made a mistake. His graceful fingers picked away the errant threads and he sewed in the correction. He held the pattern up to study it, then heard Byakuya's footstep at the bedroom door. A smile instantly rose on his lips.

"Byakuya."

His smiled widened as he noticed that his husband was wearing a soft, lovely red yukata that Uryu had made for him.

"That looks really good on you," he commented as Byakuya walked to the bed and leaned over to give him a gentle kiss of greeting.

"Thank you," Byakuya said, smirking very slightly, "I have a talented tailor."

Uryu moved a portion of the tapestry aside to make room as Byakuya slid into the bed and sat next to him.

"This is coming along well," he said approvingly, studying the area his husband was sewing, "I find it amazing how well you capture everything I tell you about the past. It is like your sewn images speak with every bit of the detail as those books that fill the archive. You know, I have shared pictures of your work with friends of mine on the Noble's General Council and several have asked if you would consider sewing pieces for their homes."

Uryu couldn't quite suppress a snicker at the thought.

"Not that I wouldn't sew something for a friend of yours," he mused, "but don't you think it's funny that the same families who wanted to see me punished for the atrocities of the war, are now wanting to hang my work in their homes?"

"A bit, maybe," Byakuya agreed, "however, it is a compelling sign of the way you are winning people over. A number of times in our recent council meetings, it has been noted that you are becoming popular among the younger members of the noble families."

Uryu gave him a curious look.

"Why?"

"Well, I think at first, it was out of sympathy for you."

"For me?" Uryu said in a confused tone, "They felt sorry for their enemy?"

"It is a sign that they did not actually view you as an enemy. Or, if they did, when they saw how gracefully you accepted the will of Central 46 and tried to embrace your role as my husband, they began to respect your strength. I have respected your strength for even longer."

"What strength?" Uryu laughed with an edge of sarcasm, "I'm out to here with this baby and I don't even have any powers."

Byakuya turned and took Uryu's face in his hands.

"You have taken what could have been a disastrous mistake and you have turned it into our dreams."

"We turned it into our dreams," Uryu corrected him, nuzzling the warm fingers that curved around his cheek, "I mean, you didn't really love me at the beginning. You owed Ichigo."

"I did," Byakuya agreed readily, "But I realized quickly that you are much more than a simple quincy, a human, a soul. You were strong when Ywach forced you to his side and purposely drove a wedge between you and all of his followers. You never gave up working against him, even when you were forced to let your friends think you had abandoned them."

"That wasn't strength. That was desperation."

Byakuya laced their fingers together, looking into Uryu's eyes.

"I understand."

"Do you?" Uryu asked uncertainly, "Someone like you would probably rather die than…"

"I once traded my reputation to fulfill a promise that my grandfather made to kill a family member who had gone astray. To even find him, I was forced to abandon my family and friends, and to take up a position close to an enemy."

Uryu's eyes widened.

"When the zanpakutou rebelled!" he exclaimed softly.

"I am surprised you had forgotten," Byakuya said, looking amused, "As I recall, you encountered Senbonzakura, who was forced to feign enmity with you and attack you and your friend, Sado. I heard from Senbonzakura, he found you formidable."

"He said that?" Uryu asked, smiling.

"He did," Byakuya affirmed, "He has been favorable to our joining, and it was his idea to shower us with sakura petals as we walked down the aisle."

"I thought that was your idea."

"It was his. He respects you, and he knows the content of my heart when it comes to you."

Uryu pushed his sewing aside, then turned and climbed onto Byakuya's lap, meeting him for several passionate kisses.

"How do you do that?" he asked, looking into his husband's deep grey eyes, "I'm probably at the weakest I've ever been, but you make me feel strong, Byakuya. You make me feel wanted, appreciated, loved. I want to make you feel that way too."

"You already do," Byakuya assured him, embracing him warmly and kissing him again.

"Make love to me," Uryu whispered, spreading his thighs invitingly.

"Are you sure it is all right?" Byakuya asked, "You are…"

"I'm about to have a baby. I'm not hurt or sick. I know you know that. It's fine. All of my healers have said it's fine for us to make love."

"You are right. I know that," Byakuya confessed, "Being with you and being so close to our dreams, just muddles my thinking."

"You?" Uryu laughed softly, "There's something that can make you unable to think?"

"Yes," Byakuya breathed into his ear, "You make me unable to think, Ishida Uryu."

"That's Kuchiki Uryu, isn't it?" Uryu teased him.

"You are a noble son and the rightful king of the quincies," Byakuya acknowledged, "No one can take your honorable quincy name from you."

"Central 46 did."

"Not to me, they didn't. You should be proud of your name, Uryu."

"I don't want to think about that now," Uryu said, shifting so that their hungry members rubbed gently against each other's, "I only want to think about you and me."

He shifted again, moving the last bits of their clothing out of the way and very slowly coaxing Byakuya into entering him. Uryu's eyes closed and he embraced the delicious heat of their joined bodies and the feeling of Byakuya's smooth hands sliding down his back and settling on his hips, encouraging their movement. Uryu's hands spread out on his husband's muscular chest, his fingers playfully teasing Byakuya's erect nipples until Byakuya's dark eyes clouded over, the hands on Uryu's undulating hips clenched, his breaths shortened, and his thrusts became faster and less controlled. Uryu writhed and moaned loudly, his heart pounding as he reached the edges of bliss.

Byakuya yielded an erotic sound from deep in his chest, pausing and shivering with contentment, before being taken with the long shudders of a powerful release. Uryu gave in readily, panting his husband's name as he collapsed and rolled clumsily onto his side.

"Are you all right?" Byakuya asked, sitting up slightly.

"F-fine!" Uryu laughed, "Sorry. I kind of lost it there for a second. It just felt so good."

"To me as well," Byakuya said, curling an arm around him and kissing him more lingeringly, "I love you, Uryu."

"I love you too."

Uryu blinked as he realized.

I didn't think about what happened before. I didn't think about it at all! All I was thinking about was how good it feels to be with him. I really enjoyed being with him.

"Uryu?" Byakuya inquired softly, "Is everything all right?"

Uryu gave him a genuine smile.

"Everything's fine," he answered calmly, "I was just surprised because I realized that I was able to let go of everything and really be with you."

"That is a profound step forward," Byakuya said, pulling him close and kissing his blushing cheek.

"I wondered if I would ever be able to enjoy sex without thinking about the past. I mean, I know it will still be there. It'll still come into my thoughts sometimes, but it feels good to be able to relax completely with you. I do enjoy making love to you, Byakuya. I feel bad that it's taken so long for me to be able to show you that."

"Do not worry about such things," Byakuya chided him, shaking his head and squeezing Uryu's hand, "I understand exactly how difficult it has been for you to recover from what happened to you before. Ywach was a monster, and he has hurt your family in unimaginable ways. You should not torment yourself about the time it took for you to recover. You have shown great strength and powerful resolve in rebuilding your life in the wake of the war."

"Well, you're a big part of why I could recover at all."

"I cannot take credit for…"

"Yes, you can," Uryu insisted.

"You would have fought your way back, with or without me," Byakuya said firmly.

"But, thanks to you, I didn't have to do it without you. Everything's changed because of you being in my life."

"You have changed my life also," Byakuya responded, holding Uryu close, "You are giving me the dream that I was sure had died with Hisana. I was very determined for a long time, that no one was going to invade my heart and cause me such pain again. It was not Hisana's fault, of course. But when she passed, it felt like the life drained out of my body too. It hurt to just breathe, to make myself get up and move each day. There was a heaviness of heart that fell over me. But that has lifted, and I cannot wait for the moment when you give me that happiness I was sure I would never have."

"I can't wait either," Uryu admitted, "Every time I feel a little pain or twinge, I wonder if it's time."

"It is difficult to be patient amidst the anticipation of that moment," Byakuya agreed.

"I just hope that it won't be like what my dad went through," Uryu said, his face clouding slightly, "I know Haschwalth and the noble lords are just waiting for a chance to take us back there."

"Try not to worry about that," Byakuya said reassuringly, "We are safe here at Sakura no Kaiyou. Tetsuya, Ichigo, and your friends, Sado and Orihime are here too. Rukia and Renji will join us here as soon as Renji has fully recovered. I apologize for us not being able to return to Kuchiki Manor for our child's birth, but making that trip now is just too risky."

"It's all right. This is a beautiful place for us to have our child," Uryu assured him. "Urahara Kisuke told me that he managed to learn a great deal from what your father remembered of his treatment," Byakuya added, "I think Hashwalth was aware this would happen, and he did attempt to conceal what he could, but the truth is, they gain nothing if our child is lost and they earn your enmity."

"They already have that for making my father have to be dragged to that place to have his baby," Uryu said, an edge of anger entering his words, "I'm not going back there until after our baby is born, and when I do, I am going to make it clear that I will not be controlled by them, or by anyone else."

"I am sure they will remind you of Central 46's order to have you bound in marriage to me."

Uryu shook his head firmly.

"If I hadn't been agreeable to the match, it wouldn't have happened," he said with certainty, "And I have never regretted for a second, agreeing to marry you."

"I only regretted that you were not given the choice," Byakuya replied.

"Well, I'll tell you right now that I would choose you anyway," Uryu insisted, "You shouldn't have any regrets anymore."

"And neither should you," Byakuya replied, continuing to hold Uryu against his chest and shoulder, "You should be able to fully embrace the miracle that you are bestowing on our families. Try to focus on that and let our protectors worry about the rest."

"I'll try."

Uryu went quiet then, resting against Byakuya's shoulder and trying to picture their child.

I'm sure our child will look beautiful, lying bundled in Byakuya's arms. And he'll look down at our son or daughter with those loving eyes. He'll be so happy! I want him to be. Happy is all that I ever want to make this man.

I just don't want to think about the rest of it…the threat that hangs over us, the hatred that the quincy noble lords feel for Byakuya, their intent to hurt him. I wish that all we had to do would be to decide how to decorate the nursery or how best to announce the birth. But, we come from powerful families who are tasked with leadership of our different societies. And our societies clash…

"Shh," Byakuya breathed into his ear, "Quiet your mind, anata."

He brushed his lips against his husband's lacing their fingers together.

"Rest."

It was easy to close his eyes then and to feel the deep comfort of Byakuya's radiant reiatsu.

It's warm.

He can be a cold person, but when Byakuya loves someone, there is no one more gentle and caring. This is a side of him I never knew until I fell into his path.

"Shh," Byakuya whispered again, "Sleep, anata."

Byakuya watched with approving eyes as Uryu relaxed in his arms and slowly dropped off to sleep, breathing easily and his body glowing softly.

You are safe here in these arms, Uryu. They will always be here for you. Let the worry go out of your eyes and your heart. Be at ease. I will hold you. I will protect you. I will never leave you.

I will love you to the end of our days…Uryu.