Disclaimer: Anything you recognize as Rowlings is obviously not mine. There is no profit gained or involved in the writing of this story.
Much love to my beta, Lady Lynn aka redheadfaerie, for her patience with my repeated butchering of the English language. Extra thanks to her for her encouragement and saying this story is one of her favorites so far.
A little note from the author: I really hate the lack of organization fanfictionnet has, so I tend to stay away from here lately, but I'm grateful for each and every reader I have! This story has been added to the favorites list of 227 readers, so I'm thrilled that it's enjoyed so much! To those of you who have added the story to your favorites and/or me to your favorite author list, I'm both flattered and encouraged. I received a few e-mails about permission for fan-art and such, and I have to say- Please do! I would love to see drawings of this story or whatever else any others may have in mind.
I'd like to take a moment to thank each and every one of my reviewers -- granted, there's not as many as I would have hoped for, but I'm just happy it's been favorited by so many people, anyway.
Without further ado, many thanks go to: Black Mirror, Aruca, Karma's Slave, BringTheNight, JGirl1016, Faerie-Chell, jcmy1nonly, aurora, Serias, Pleiades81, Darkness-Lightness, Mia Kell, GroowyL, treeson, Just a Reader, VickieL, remuslives23, Monnbeam, Miss. Silver Star, doBBy loVe, queenelfina, diamond-helen, Hades666, AIDSwolf, and this-love-is-sirius.
Mia Kell - Don't worry about your English, love, you're great!
The Thief of Time
V: Of Puppy Love and Teardrops
by
TinkWolfe
"The clock talked loud. I threw it away, it scared me what it talked." - Tillie Olsen
The summer before sixth year, Lily took up the five-days-a-week babysitting job once again. Now that Severus was no longer in the picture, Hermione was just plain bored most days. Her parents had asked her and Lily why Severus didn't come around anymore, but the girls were vague, just saying that they didn't hang out with him any longer. Lily was gone weekdays, from around ten a.m. to six p.m., and conversation with Petunia was always clipped. Robert worked at an insurance company and Ivy owned her own florist shop. Sometimes, Hermione would go over to her mother's business and help out with orders, but it was pretty dull work. So, when Hermione couldn't take the boredom, and didn't feel like having forced conversation or getting her hands stuck with thorns, she went over to visit Molly while Arthur was at work.
"Where are you going?" Hermione heard a shrill voice as she left the house and shut the front door behind her. When she turned around, she saw Petunia standing on the lawn with Marge Dursley, the girl Sarah from down the street, a boy Hermione had never seen before whom she presumed to be Sarah's boyfriend since his arm was around her, and Vernon Dursley. Vernon was a dark-haired, big, beefy guy with hardly any neck.
"To visit a friend," answered Hermione vaguely. She was wearing a Sex Pistols t-shirt now that Sid Vicious had replaced Matlock, and it exposed a little strip of ivory midriff. Her boot-cut jeans were tight, and she wore knee-length, high-heeled leather boots. One thing she absolutely loved about living in the seventies was the Muggle fashion. The jeans, however, usually came up to the bellybutton, but she had transfigured all her jeans back at Hogwarts to have a lower cut on the waist. Lily had liked it so much, Hermione had to do hers as well.
Her jadeite eyes were thinly lined in black, but other than that, she only wore chapstick. She had never been a big fan of a lot of make-up. She wore a studded black belt, and her holly-and phoenix-feather wand - which never failed to remind her of Harry - was secured at her waist by it. She couldn't technically use it yet outside of Hogwarts, but she was never without it. In her jean pockets she had managed to squeeze in some Muggle bills and a small bag of wizarding money. Vernon Dursley was leering at her in a perverse way. The boy always creeped Hermione and Lily out, and he seemed to fancy the both of them.
"You have friends?" asked Petunia nastily, and her little cronies laughed. Hermione was positive she was only doing it because of the way Vernon was looking at her.
"You're right, Petunia," said Marge, who was wider than she was tall. She also had dark hair and hardly any neck. "She is weird. Why d'you have a stick in your belt?"
Hermione smiled as Petunia paled, finally noticing Hermione's wand in plain sight. "You better be a little nicer, Tuney," said Hermione. "Wouldn't want me to go and do something drastic, would you?"
"What's she talking about?" Sarah asked, but Petunia ignored it and started up a conversation with Vernon like Hermione had never said anything.
A few minutes later, Hermione was blocks away, by the abandoned house down the street of John's. They had never managed to make enough money to restore it, but it was the perfect spot for her to use. Hermione looked around once more, and when she was sure no one was in sight, she stuck out her wand hand.
There was a loud bang as the triple-decker, violently purple bus appeared out of thin air. Gold lettering over the windscreen read The Knight Bus. A conductor in a purple uniform and black, thick glasses leapt out of the bus and began speaking loudly.
"Welcome to the Knight Bus, transport for the stranded witch or wizard. Just stick out your wand hand, step on board, and we can take you anywhere you want to go. My name is Ernie Prang, and I will be your conductor this afternoon. Destination?"
"The Burrow, just south of Ottery St. Catchpole," answered Hermione.
"Eight sickles and two knuts, ma'am."
Hermione pulled out her little money purse and handed him the proper coins, and he stepped aside so she could climb up the steps of the bus. As she passed the elderly driver, she nodded a hello, and he nodded politely back.
There were squishy armchairs all over, and she could see a witch and wizard all the way in back, talking.
After another tremendous bang, the bus took off, and Hermione went flying down into an armchair. The armchair slid across the floor every so often, whenever the bus would stop or take off. The witch and wizard in the back got off at their stop about two minutes later, and another wizard came from upstairs to get off at his ten minutes after that. Hermione was starting to get queasy, but just when she was sure she was going to lose her lunch, the bus mercifully stopped and Ernie came over. "This is your stop, ma'am." he said, and Hermione thanked him when he helped her up. She walked on shaky legs to the door, and gave Ernie and the driver a few sickles on her way out as a tip. They both beamed and tipped their hats. She wasn't sure if you were supposed to tip them, but it didn't matter.
She took a few moments to settle her stomach once the Knight Bus took off, and when it had finally stopped squirming with discomfort, she made her way across the giant yard. Some chickens were chasing a gnome, trying to peck at it, and Hermione stepped over them as she passed. Her heels were sinking into the moist soil, and she found she had to lift her legs high like a horse as she walked to pull them free without damaging the grass. When she got to the old farmhouse, she knocked on the door. It swung open almost immediately, and when she looked down, she saw Bill's smiling face.
"HERMS!" he shouted. She cringed, because she truly loathed that nickname, but picked him up anyway.
"Come in, Hermione, come in!" Molly called, and Hermione stepped into the kitchen.
"I'm sorry to just show up without owling, Molly --"
"Nonsense!" Molly practically screeched. "You're welcome here any time, day or night, you know that." They kissed each other on the cheek and Hermione put the squirming Bill back on the ground, where he ran to go get Charlie. Arthur must have had the day off because he was sitting at the table, running his hand through his thick red hair. He hadn't started to lose it yet.
"Hey, Arthur!" said Hermione as she neared the table, and he looked up from trying to feed Percy, who was nearly one now.
He glanced up and smiled, standing up to give her a kiss on the cheek. "How are you, Hermione?" He was wearing blue robes; not shabby, but not tailored, so they hung a bit loosely on him.
"I'm good. Just bored out of my mind over at home," she said with a shrug, sitting down at the kitchen table with him. "How have you been? How's work?"
"Probably about as boring as it is over at your house," he said with a grin, wiping Percy's messy face. "It'll be another year before I can qualify to get into the Misuse department. That's if they even pick me."
"They'll pick you," said Hermione, confidently, and Arthur smiled gratefully.
"Of course they will!" agreed Molly. She seemed to be packing a diaper bag, and Hermione furrowed her brows.
"Are you guys going somewhere?" she asked, and Arthur nodded.
"We're taking the kids to the Muggle fair in Godric's Hollow. It's just an annual thing. Games, carnival food, small rides. Plenty of wizards go, too, because there's a quite a few wizarding families in that neighbourhood. I proposed to Mollywobbles there."
Hermione grinned when Molly blushed at the nickname. "I hope you guys have fun!" said Hermione. She should have owled ahead to see if they weren't busy, so it was her own fault.
"No, no, you're coming with us, Hermione!" said Molly, nodding her head while she zipped up the bag.
"Yes," agreed Arthur. "We were going to come get you anyway, but you saved us the Apparition."
Hermione smiled and promptly started helping get the boys ready, with a new spring in her step.
After practically wrestling Bill into his shirt, Hermione had both him and Charlie thrown over each shoulder as she walked down the stairs to the kitchen. They were laughing and trying to wriggle loose, but Hermione was too strong. She set them down in the kitchen, and Arthur handed Percy to Molly. Hermione picked up the diaper bag, and Arthur grabbed her upper arm.
"Ready?" he asked, and Hermione nodded. They disappeared with a pop, and Hermione felt like she was being squeezed through a tube. A moment later, they reappeared on grass. "Be right back," said Arthur, and he disappeared to bring the rest of the family.
Hermione took a look around and nearly gasped, because they were right in the area where she had first Apparated Harry to. There was no snow on the ground this time, of course, but as her eyes roamed over the street, tears rose, unbidden. She could distinctly recall how cold it was that Christmas Eve, and how it had looked like a winter wonderland all around. Their brush with death that night also came to mind...
She shuddered, pushing it from her thoughts. Instead, she focused on the beautiful summer afternoon.
Arthur and Molly appeared with a pop next to her. Molly was holding Percy, and Arthur had the other two boys. Hermione could hear noise not too far off from the narrow road they were on. There were cottages around, but it was quiet, like everyone was at the fair. Hermione took Bill's hand when Arthur set him down, and the three of them walked down to the centre of the storybook town, each with a tiny red-haired Weasley.
It was crowded, but not overly so. There were streamers wrapped around lamp posts and stands all over the place. The stands held games for everyone to pay, play, and win prizes of stuffed animals from the size of her fist to the size of Professor Flitwick. There were balloon and dart games, a beanbag toss, a bowling game, a penny pitch, a horseshoe game, a fishing pond to fish for prizes, a shooting game, and many, many others. There was a dunking game as well, and a man sitting above a huge glass tank of water would call insults and jokes out at you to provoke you into playing. If you hit the target, the man would fall in. He looked dry so far, so it seemed no one had won yet. One of the buildings was also set up as a haunted house, and through a path that led outside the square, you could see an open field filled with rides for the kids. There was also stands for food. Funnel cakes, cotton candy, fudge, seasoned chips covered in ketchup or cheese, hot dogs, cheese burgers, caramel and candy apples, and much more.
"Go have fun, love," said Molly, taking Bill's hand from Hermione.
Hermione looked confused. "What do you mean?"
Arthur grinned and shook his head. "You didn't think we asked you here to baby-sit, did you? This is a miniscule thank you to you for helping us out before and after Percy was born. We've not forgotten, you know, and we owe you more than you know --"
"I don't need your thanks, Arthur, I did it because I wanted to," Hermione interjected.
"And that's why we appreciate it so much. Now, go have fun. Play games, mingle with the teenagers your age," replied Arthur, and he reached into his pocket and pulled out his money pouch.
"No, no," said Hermione, firmly. "I've my own money."
Arthur opened his mouth to protest, but Hermione grinned and disappeared into the crowd.
She spent half an hour playing games. She discovered that she was absolutely horrid when it came to them, and she had a funny feeling it was because tossing objects was related to sports, which Hermione had always been rubbish at. At one particular beanbag game, where she had to try and toss it in one of the three holes, she accidentally aimed wrong and managed to whack the man running the stand right in the head. The beanbags were fairly heavy, and he had a little bruise already forming by the time Hermione had gushed her apologies and sped off.
As Hermione was passing a balloon and dart game, the man running it called out to her.
"Hey, beautiful, care to play?"
Hermione whirled around and made sure he was talking to her. He was quite handsome, she thought. His hair was brown and his eyes were blue, and he had a little tiered-goatee.
"You get five darts, all you have to do is pop three balloons to get a big prize," he tempted with a grin. Hermione looked up at the prizes he had, and they were giant stuffed animals. Bears, white tigers, unicorns, dogs, and cats.
She nodded and walked up to the stand, smiling like an idiot. "Are you sure you want me to play? When I played the beanbag game, I hit the man behind the stand in the head with one."
The man's brows rose high, but he laughed. "I'll take my chances for a pretty thing like you." He winked, and Hermione rolled her eyes playfully. "Three balloons get you a big stuffed animal, two balloons get you a little one from the bin, and one balloon gets you a comp ticket for a free cola." He lined up five darts in front of her and stepped aside.
Hermione picked one up and took her time, aiming for a red balloon pinned to the wall. When she threw it, the guy ducked dramatically just to make her laugh. She missed and hit the wall next to the balloon, pouting.
"Aww, don't pout, sweets," said the dart man. "You've still got four more tries."
Again, she took aim, this time going for a blue balloon. Again, she missed, and she frowned when it landed below her target. She had to make these next three for the big stuffed animal, otherwise she would be stuck with the lame prizes.
Hermione brushed her long bangs away from her eyes and tried to focus while she aimed. She was squinting and rocking the dart back and forth.
A body pressed against her back and hands rested on either side of her waist, and she nearly jumped out of her boots.
She whirled around, fully intent on stabbing the touchy feely man in the eye with the dart, but gasped when she saw his face.
"Black?" she asked, incredulously.
He was wearing a band t-shirt, jeans, and black work boots, but he was handsome enough to make it look like a Calvin Klein advertisement, and she couldn't help but let her eyes linger. Her lips quirked into a smile when she saw the sunglasses he wore - the rims were bright red, but he was the only man alive who could make them look good. She could see James, Remus, and Peter standing a few feet away, all wearing simple Muggle clothes. She could have kicked herself for not remembering that James lived in Godric's Hollow his whole life, not just when he was older.
"Hello, Hermione," he smirked, looking down at her with a knowing little glint in his fathomless grey eyes. He stepped back and Hermione nearly blushed. He was looking at her outfit the same way she had looked at his moments ago. His eyes travelled from her high-heeled boots, up her lowcut jeans, to the small strip of exposed midriff where her wand was stuck in her belt, and finally over her Sex Pistols t-shirt and up to her green, black-lined eyes. "I definitely prefer you in Muggle clothes."
"I'll be sure to wear robes around you all the time, from now on," she said, but the corners of her lips twitched when she fought down a smile. He saw it and smiled wide, running his hand through his shaggy black hair. After noticing she still had the dart in her hand, he nodded his head towards the stand, where the dart man was watching them.
"What're the stakes?" he asked.
She should've told him to piss off and go play with his mates, but he looked too cute when he was staring at her like that.
"Well, I got five darts. I have to pop three balloons to get a big prize, but I've already buggered up two."
He nodded with a small smile. "Alright, lets see it, then," he said, and motioned for her to continue where she left off before he had interrupted. Hermione sighed and turned around to face the stand. She furrowed her brows and aimed, but just as she was about to toss it, she felt Sirius come up behind her and grab her wrist. She made a sound of protest, but he shushed her.
"These games are rigged," he said into her ear, and she pursed her lips. "It's an optical illusion. You think you're staring at balloons nailed to a straight wall, but the wall is actually on a slant."
Her eyes widened, and she felt him move closer. His front pressed against her back, and his free hand went back to her waist. She could feel his hand on the exposed skin there, and it made her want to lean backwards into him, but she controlled herself. He smelled good, like expensive spicy aftershave and something sweet she couldn't quite place. The hand around her wrist moved to hers, and he took the dart from between her fingers. He was still pressed against her, but she was able to look up and watch him. His head was perfectly still, like a dog that had just seen a rabbit, and he squinted his grey eyes ever so slightly. She heard a little pop, and her jaw dropped when she realized he had just popped a balloon with her dart.
"How many do I have to get for a big animal?" he asked, looking towards the dart man.
"Three," the man snipped, obviously not at all thrilled that Sirius was there.
Sirius ignored the man's tone and smirked, picking up another dart from the two Hermione had left.
The sound of footsteps caught her attention, and Hermione saw James, Remus, and Peter standing beside them.
Peter smiled and said hello, which she returned, and Remus gave her a tight-lipped smile. Guilt swirled around in her stomach, knowing it was probably getting on his nerves to see Sirius pressed up against her.
"Hey, Evans," said James, glancing around the crowd. "Is.. is your sister here?" he asked, and she smiled at the hopeful sound in his voice.
"No," she answered. "I came here with the people I baby-sit for."
"Is she coming later?"
"No."
"So... she's not coming at all?"
"She said no, James," Sirius cut him off, smiling with amusement. James had the decency to blush, and everyone went quiet as Sirius aimed the dart.
With another pop, he burst the second balloon.
Hermione was getting excited now, because if he got the last one, she could pick out a prize from the huge stuffed animals. She wasn't sure why, but in the moment, it was a big deal.
Sirius picked up the last dart and Hermione leaned back against him. He faltered for a moment to look down at her curiously, but she only grinned. She really shouldn't flirt with him, she knew, but she couldn't stop herself. He was handsome and he smelled good, and he was trying to win her a prize. It would have been a romantic moment if his mates weren't right there watching.
"Do I get a kiss for good luck?" he asked, cheekily.
"You didn't need a good luck kiss for the others," said Hermione, staring up at him with a half-hearted glare.
"Yeah, but everything rides on this turn," he said solemnly, but the mischief dancing in his eyes belied his somber tone. "And I don't think it'll make it unless I get a good luck kiss."
Hermione huffed, but she couldn't hide her smile. Why did he have to be so bloody charming?
"I'm not kissing you on the lips," she relented, glancing down like a nervous schoolgirl.
"The cheek will do," he replied, leaning his head down to bare the side of his face for her.
Hermione moved her head up to kiss his cheek, but at the last moment, he turned his head and her lips pressed up against his.
"SIRIUS BLACK!" she shouted, smacking him on the chest. All the Marauders but Remus were laughing.
Sirius was still laughing quietly when he flicked his wrist lazily and tossed the dart, popping the balloon like it was the simplest thing in the world.
"I believe my girl gets a prize now," Sirius said to the dart man.
"I'm not your girl, Black," she said, but he pretended he didn't hear.
The dart man nodded and motioned towards the giant stuffed animals hanging from the top of the stand. "Which one's your favourite?"
She felt Sirius' arms hug her around the waist, and she really, really shouldn't have leaned back into his embrace, but she did.
"Hmmm..." she chewed her lip, looking up at all of them. One in particular caught her attention, and she knew Sirius would appreciate it. "That one's my favourite," she said, pointing up at it.
The dart man reached up and pulled down the giant, shaggy black dog and handed it to her. She felt Sirius pull her to him tighter when he saw it, and she grinned when he murmured, "That one's my favourite, too."
"What should I name him?" she asked playfully, while the five of them walked away from the stand.
"Padfoot," said Peter with a laugh, and she felt like transfiguring the damned thing into a real dog so she could instruct it to bite his face off. It seemed the feeling was mutual among the other Marauders, because they all shot him death glares.
"Padfoot...?" she asked, with mock curiously that she played off well. "Isn't that your nickname, Black?"
Sirius cleared his throat and nodded, glancing around at the other guys.
"Why do they call you Padfoot?" She knew precisely why, she just liked seeing him flustered.
"Peter just meant you should call the dog Padfoot because it's Sirius' nickname, and he's the one that won it for you. Right, Pete?" asked Remus, with a frozen smile that promised pain of death if the blond said otherwise.
"Y-yeah, that's what I meant," said Peter, smiling nervously.
They had completely ignored her other question about why he was called Padfoot, but she let it slide. She would just let them think they had successfully skirted the conversation.
"Why don't you call him Snuffles?" asked James, grinning at Sirius.
"I like Snuffles," agreed Sirius, smiling at Hermione.
Hermione smiled back and, for some insane reason, she leaned up to give Sirius a kiss on the cheek.
She wanted to run herself into a wall.
Talk about giving the poor man mixed signals! One day she's telling him he makes her sick and another day she's flirting, leaning against him, and handing out kisses. He just did crazy things to her, and made her want to kiss him and smack him at the same time. He was like a forbidden fruit; everyone wanted it, but no one could have it.
But, he liked her, and he chased after her, no matter how mean she was to him, and it was a feeling she wasn't used to.
Her other lifetime's relationship with Ron was still hazy, but she was pretty sure that he never went after her. In fact, he was a downright git to her because he didn't know how to handle his crush. She had made the first moves with everything in their relationship. First one to kiss, first one to touch, so on and so forth. Hermione had always been in control, even when she didn't necessarily want to be. They had married more as best friends than passionate lovers.
But Sirius was the polar opposite of Ron. He was handsome enough to render someone stupid, he was clever, and he was possessive. Not possessive in a scary caveman type of way, but there was something in the way he would look at her and touch her that clearly stated that she was his.
And, although she wouldn't admit it aloud, it was sexy.
"What was that for?" he asked, touching the spot she had kissed with a pleased grin.
"A thank you for winning me the prize," answered Hermione with an innocent little shrug.
Somehow, she ended up spending the afternoon with the Marauders.
She discovered that James had Harry's crazy sense of humour, and that he had nearly the exact same laugh as Harry had. Peter looked up to James and Sirius, which was made obvious when he would look longingly at them, like he wanted to be them. Remus' bad mood cleared eventually, especially after Hermione covered his face in kisses after he surprised her with a sundae when he went to get a cola.
Sirius had glared at the exchange, but nothing was said between the two. Hermione actually felt guilty about it afterwards. Was there tension between the two Marauders because of her? That wasn't her intentions, and she would have to set them straight if she saw any hostility arising.
Hermione was surprised to find that she actually got along with the Marauders well. Well, all except for Peter, whom she might have actually liked if she hadn't known about his selfishness, but she pretended to like him anyway. They had been cocky gits for a few years, yes, but they seemed to be maturing. James and Sirius reminded Hermione of her and Lily, with the way they would say the same things at the same time and finish each other's sentences.
The five of them had gone through the building converted into a haunted house, and the boys had spent the entire time trying to scare Hermione. They sat at benches and ate the carnival junk food, and took turns playing games. When they all went to the beanbag stand run by a man with a bruise who looked warily at Hermione, the Marauders had laughed until they nearly cried when she told them the story, leaving her to sulk. Sirius had cheered her up, though, jokingly promising that the next time he played the shooting game, he would be sure to take out the guy's eye so she didn't feel so bad.
A few hours later, James, Remus, and Peter were tired of walking around, and told Sirius they were ready to go.
"We're dead on our feet, Sirius," said James. "Ready to go?"
Sirius glanced at Hermione and shook his head. "No, you guys go, though, I'll be home later," he assured.
James raised his eyebrows and glanced between the two with a little smile, before saying goodbye to them. He even leaned over and gave Hermione a kiss on the cheek, which she surprisingly allowed. Remus looked put-out, but he gave Hermione a kiss on the cheek as well. Peter stepped forward, like he was going to do the same, but then seemed to think the better of it and settled for an awkward hug.
Hermione glanced up at Sirius once they were out of sight. "You could've gone with them, you know," she said.
"I know," he shrugged. "Didn't want to, though."
They were walking side by side. The crowds were dying down, and they sat down next to each other on an empty bench.
"Why not?" she asked curiously, putting the giant stuffed dog on the bench beside her.
He put his arms around the top of the back of the bench, and Hermione could feel his forearm brushing against her shoulders. "Because you're being nice to me," he said with a little grin.
Hermione felt a little coil of guilt spring up inside her. Had she really been that mean to him?
Technically, yes, she had, but it was only out of loyalty to Severus.
"Are you staying at the Potters for the summer?" she asked, changing the subject.
His easy grin faltered and he cocked his head back to get the hair out of his eyes. "I'm staying with the Potters indefinitely, actually," he replied, shrugging like it was no big deal.
Hermione vaguely recalled Sirius telling Harry that he had run away when he was sixteen to James' place.
"Why?" she asked, scooting closer to him.
"My family and I don't see eye to eye," he said, looking down at her. There was a chip in the armour he usually held up and she saw a bit of vulnerability in him. The fact that he was even discussing this topic with her surprised her, since she had a feeling he wouldn't tell just anyone about it.
"Don't see eye to eye on what?" she asked quietly.
"My family..." he faltered, and Hermione got the impression he was embarrassed to say it. "They're obsessed with blood purity... They think You-Know-Who has the right idea. My mum's pretty much insane with it. Don't get me wrong, there's a few good ones like Uncle Alphard and my cousin Andy, but the rest are out of their minds." He couldn't seem to bring himself to look at her in the eyes, and was instead staring at the heart-shaped locket resting against her t-shirt.
Hermione's heart ached for his situation. He abandoned practically his whole family because of his belief in equality.
Equality for people like her.
His family didn't know what they were missing. They would never know how loyal he was, and how much he love he was capable of.
"I always knew you were better than them," she said, and he finally raised his grey eyes to meet hers.
She felt him move closer, and he smelled so good she wanted to press her face into the crook of his neck and just breathe him in. She refrained, however, since that would just be creepy at this particular moment.
"Did you?" he asked with a small smile, his face mere inches from hers.
She tilted her chin up to answer, but she never got a chance to.
Because he kissed her.
And, due to a severe lapse in judgement...
She let him.
He moved his head down and pressed his lips softly against hers. She tensed in surprise at first, but after a silent argument with herself, she relaxed a moment later. One of his hands moved to her cheek, and she could feel the cool metal of his ring against her warm skin when he brushed his thumb along her cheekbone. She felt him run his tongue softly against her bottom lip, asking silent permission for entry, and she opened her mouth slightly to let his tongue penetrate her. One of her hands moved up to his shaggy black hair, and her manicured fingernails caressed his scalp, making him whimper his satisfaction in the kiss.
When his tongue brushed up against hers, Hermione swore she felt a jolt between her legs. It was an entirely new feeling; one that she had never felt before. Never before had simple kiss made her want to rub her legs together perversely to ease the wonderful ache that built.
Now was not a time for a battle of morals, but she couldn't help the thoughts that rose to the forefront of her mind, unbidden. If her past had never existed, was this her first kiss?
It certainly felt like a first kiss. She couldn't recall a time in her previous life when a kiss had felt like this. She had read about kisses like this, but never had the pleasure of experiencing one for herself. And was she terrible for wanting to consider this her first kiss? Was she wrong for wanting to forget her deleted past, and let go of the intimacy she had shared with Ron? Was it wrong to only want to think of him a best friend of another life? Was she a terrible person for letting go of the memory of Rose and Hugo so easily? Or was it still unhealthy to be debating about this, since they had never existed, and she would never bear them in this lifetime? Was it wrong for her to accept so easily that she wouldn't be their mother in this life?
Was she horrible for taking pleasure in the thought that Sirius Black was her first kiss, and for secretly wanting him to be her first everything?
But all thoughts were pushed to the back of her subconscious when Sirius held her by the chin and, quite literally, sucked on her tongue.
Merlin, he was good at this.
"EWW, HERMS!" a child shouted from nearby, and Hermione ripped her face away from Sirius'. She was lucky he hadn't bit off her tongue from the impact of her hands on his shoulders, pushing him away.
Arthur and Molly Weasley were standing not five feet away. A sleeping Percy was held by Molly, and Bill and Charlie were holding their father's hands. Bill had a look of repulsion on his face. Molly was blushing at having interrupted, and Arthur had a cat-that-got-the-cream grin. Hermione was sure her face was on fire, and she regrettably glanced over at Sirius, who just looked amused.
"Well, when I said mingle with the teenagers your age, I didn't think you would be quite so friendly," said Arthur.
Hermione let loose a little mortified laughter, not entirely sure what to do in this situation. Luckily, Sirius took over before she could spontaneously combust from embarrassment.
"Sirius Black," he said, standing up to shake their hands. Arthur released Bill for a moment so he could grasp the younger man's hand, but Arthur's face had hardened.
"Arthur Weasley. This is my wife, Molly." Sirius shook Molly's free hand, and a look of recognition crossed her face when she realized he was the boy from that day at the cafe. She gave Hermione a little knowing smile, but Hermione just glared half-heartedly at her.
Sirius seemed to notice that Arthur was no longer smiling. "Arthur," he said, and the redhead man glanced at him coolly. "I just wanted you to know that I don't associate with my family. I probably dislike them more than you do."
Hermione knew that Arthur was something of a distant cousin to Sirius, but wasn't recognized as such because of the Weasley's long-time blood traitor status.
The older man's shoulders relaxed and he looked relieved. It was protectiveness over Hermione that made Arthur react the way he did, knowing she was a Muggle-born. "Good to know," he said, in a much friendlier tone.
Bill tugged on Sirius' jeans, making the handsome man look down at him. "Are you her boyfriend?" he asked with a delightfully disgusted little smile, drawing out the word like it had cooties.
"Yes," replied Sirius, but Hermione said "No!" at the same time.
Arthur raised his red brows in Hermione's direction. She could have sworn she heard him say "Could've fooled me," quietly, and judging from the shit-eating grin on Sirius' face, he probably had.
"Ready to go?! I'm simply exhausted!" said Hermione, jumping up from the bench with frantic energy that belied her claim of weariness.
Why had she flirted incessantly with him today, and why had she let him kiss her? She had let the teenage hormones running rampant inside her get the better of her.
Arthur and Molly recognized the desire to get away as soon as possible in Hermione, and they looked at each other and nodded. "Yes, that's why we had come to find you, anyway. Erm, Molly and I will be waiting for you where we Apparated in. See you over there..." Arthur said, nodding goodbye to Sirius and nudging Molly to walk away.
"Well, I've gotta go," mumbled Hermione when Arthur and Molly disappeared into the crowd. She picked up the giant stuffed dog and gave Sirius a tight lipped smile, avoiding eye contact. She made a move to walk around him, but he sidestepped to block her way. Her eyes moved over his body, from his black work boots all the way up to his grey eyes. She had to tilt her head up at this close distance just to make eye contact with the tall man before her.
"We should go out some time, get a butterbeer or something. What are you doing tomorrow?" he asked. He was glancing over her face like he was trying to memorize it.
"Er, I'm busy tomorrow," she said hesitantly.
His tilted his head while he looked down at her, and she was reminded of a cute little puppy dog. "When aren't you going to be busy?"
The truth of the matter was that Hermione had absolutely nothing to do for the rest of the summer, but she wasn't about to let him know that. She had already unintentionally messed with his head long enough, and let herself linger on her silly crush all day.
She knew about guys like Sirius. Ivy had warned her about guys like Sirius. The handsome, charming, arrogant man who all the women adore would only break the girl's heart in the end. With just a kiss, he had made Hermione submit to him, and she didn't like that feeling. Losing control was not something Hermione Granger had ever done, and Hermione Evans wouldn't do it either as long as she could help it.
"I'm not," she lied, albeit badly, since her words were rushed and her green eyes kept darting around. "Busy, busy, busy. I've got loads to do before school starts again. I shan't have a moment for myself, I'm afraid."
Sirius raised his brows. "You're telling me that for the next month and a half, you aren't going to have any free time whatsoever?" The tone of his voice was borderline condescending, but she really couldn't blame him for being angry over the lie after she had just let him snog her senseless on a bench in the middle of a fair.
"Yes," she said, a little too meekly for her liking. She cleared her throat and repeated in a much more confident voice. "Yes. Very busy this summer."
He was quiet for a long moment. At first, he was looking at her like he was waiting for her to say Gotcha!, but when she never did, he clenched and unclenched his jaw.
The sky was a deep orange as the sun was slowly making its way beneath the horizon, and in the dying light, he really was breathtakingly beautiful. It only confirmed her belief that if she let anything happen between them, it would only lead to heartache. He would find someone better and leave her behind, or she would have a moment of weakness and confess her secret to him, and he would hate her because of it. And if there's one thing she knew Sirius Black could do to her, it was break down her barriers. She knew how easy it would be to fall in love with him if she gave herself the chance. If he could make her want to be consumed by him with just a kiss, she would surely babble her life story to him from just a well-placed touch.
He warmed her, excited her, and made her feel beautiful.
And because of that, he frightened her.
"Well, see you around," Hermione walked backwards with a big black dog under her arm, eager to get away, waving awkwardly and smiling maniacally with false nonchalance. "Thanks for winning me the prize! It was... er... nice... seeing you... and all."
He looked too stunned to move.
"Hermione," he called after her when he finally found his voice again, but she was already weaving through the crowd to the Weasley's Apparition point.
She reached the family of redheads, still smiling like a madwoman, and it was obvious the smile was forced.
"Are you alright, Hermione?" asked Molly, cautiously, sharing a look with Arthur.
"I'm fine." Her voice cracked, belying her words. Even little Bill widened his eyes in concern. Fortunately, Molly and Arthur didn't press the subject, and they Apparated back to the Burrow.
Half an hour later, Arthur finally Apparated her to the Evans' backyard. She thanked him hastily for taking her to the fair with the family, and gave him a kiss on the cheek before she sped across the grass and up the few steps to get to the back door. It was open, thankfully, and she stepped into the kitchen where Ivy was cooking dinner.
"How are you, love?" her mother asked distractedly, cutting a tomato.
"Good," Hermione lied, and walked briskly out of the room. Two flights of stairs later she was pushing open her bedroom door.
"Hey, Hermione," said Lily, who was laying on her stomach on her bed, kicking her feet and flipping through Witch Weekly.
Hermione stepped in without a word, shut the door, and headed over to her own bed. She almost put Snuffles on the floor, but for some reason she felt bad about it and ended up putting him on her bed instead.
Merlin, she was even calling the damned thing a him in her head.
Crookshanks jumped up on the mattress and mewed, forcing Hermione to pat his head, even though her heart wasn't in it and her mind was elsewhere. Something was sticking into her stomach, and she realized it was her wand, so she pulled it free and rested it on her night table. She was in the middle unzipping her boots when Lily, who had noticed Hermione wasn't quite herself, got off her bed to walk over to her.
"What's the matter?" she asked, concerned, sitting down on the edge of Hermione's bed. She glanced at Snuffles curiously.
Hermione yanked her boots off and moved to sit pretzel style in the middle of her bed. She pursed her lips, trying to ignore the situation, but one inquisitive look from Lily made the day's events tumble out.
"I went with the Weasleys to a fair in Godric's Hollow. The Marauders were there and I ended up spending the day with them." She took a deep breath, and in one word, she forced it all out fast: "ThenJames,Remus,andPeterleft,butSiriusstayedbehind,andhekissedmeandIlethim."
Lily's eyebrows had disappeared into her hairline. "Wait," she commanded calmly. "Rewind," she said as she made a backwards spinning motion with her hands. "Did you say Sirius Black kissed you?"
"Yes," confirmed Hermione, pulling Snuffles towards her with the vain hope that he could protect her from the wrath of Lily that was sure to come.
"And where did you get that?" asked Lily, pointing towards the huge, shaggy black dog under Hermione's arm.
"Siriuswonitformeplayingthedartandballoongame," she mumbled quickly, but Lily heard her.
"And you hung out with him all day, along with the other boys?"
Hermione nodded warily. She was expecting Lily to smack some sense into her, hex her for being such a fool, or at least knock her over the head with a pillow, but nothing came.
Instead, the redhead leaned forward inquisitively, and her green eyes darted around the room like she couldn't believe what she was about to say. "So how was it?" she asked conspiratorially.
Hermione's jaw unhinged and hung open. "What?" she sputtered.
"Was he a good kisser?" she asked with a mischievous smile, laying down on her stomach once again and making herself comfortable on Hermione's bed.
"He was..." she paused for suspense, glancing at Snuffles. Crookshanks was sitting beside Lily, with his squashed ginger face looking up at Hermione, almost as if he was in suspense for the answer as well. "...bloody fantastic, Lils."
Lily squealed and giggled rather girlishly, kicking her feet. "Tell me everything!"
Hermione couldn't help but absorb some of Lily's girlish excitement. "Well, first I took the Knight Bus over to the Weasleys, then they invited me to the fair with them. After we got there, they told me to go mingle and have fun, so I played a few games."
"What games?" Lily asked, and Hermione realized she really wanted to know everything.
"Basic ones. Watergun, pennypitch. Oh! I played this game where you had to throw a beanbag in one of these holes in the wall, and I accidentally hit the man working the booth in the face..." Hermione grinned when Lily broke into shameful giggles at the man's expense.
"So anyway, I passed this dart and balloon stand, and the guy working it -- who was really cute by the way --"
"What did he look like?" interrupted Lily.
"He was kinda tan, had brown hair, blue eyes. Looked a bit like Junior," she described. "He called me beautiful, and got me to play a game."
She paused for Lily's excited giggles, since she knew Sirius won her Snuffles at the balloon and dart game.
"So the deal was, I got five darts, and I have to pop three balloons in order to get the big prize. I buggered up the first two tries, and then as I'm about to throw the third one, a feel some guy press up against me..."
Lily squeaked, and Hermione couldn't help but giggle with her.
When had she become such a... girl?
Perhaps it was her lack of female companions last time that had sedated this side of her.
Hermione told the story in great detail. From Sirius asking for a good luck kiss, to James asking for Lily and being the only one who was able to sink the man sitting above the tank of water, which was probably due to his Chaser skills. Lily seemed to rather enjoy that part, since she asked to know what he was wearing while he did it and if he looked all serious like he did when he played Quidditch. When Hermione finally got to the part where they kissed, it sounded like Lily even sighed at how perfect it was.
"And what did you do after Molly and Arthur walked away?" she inquired, with her elbows on the bed and her head in her hands.
Hermione bit her lip, trying to best describe the train wreck. "I ran away."
"What?!" gasped Lily with horrified laughter.
"It was too intense, Lily, I had to get out of there," implored Hermione, running her hands over her smooth brown hair nervously. "I told him I was busy every day for the rest of the summer and practically leapt into the crowd to get away."
Hermione could see that Lily was trying very hard not to laugh at her sister's horror, but she was breathing heavily and turning pink. She gave up and let loose her giggles, shaking her head. "You told him you were busy every day for the rest of the summer?"
The brunette closed her emerald eyes in mortification. "Yes."
"What did he say when you told him that?" asked Lily. Crookshanks was laying down on the bed now, too, still quite awake and still looking like he was listening.
"Nothing. I didn't give him a chance to say anything. I just grinned like a maniac and hurried off."
"It'll be alright," assured Lily.
Unconvinced, Hermione tipped herself over so she fell on her side on the mattress, and buried her face into Snuffles.
He smelled like the cologne Sirius wore.
Hermione spent the rest of the summer trying to keep as busy as possible, which meant hanging out at the Burrow to help Molly or helping her mother out at the florist shop. On weekends, she and Lily either went shopping or saw a movie. They had even spotted Severus a few times, walking by himself, and whenever they passed him he would look at them with a sad expression, but they pretended they didn't see him. Sometimes, on days when Hermione had nothing to do, she wanted to go over to Severus' house and drag him out, to go to Diagon or hang out by the creek like they used to. But then she would remember how hatefully he had spat the word at them, and she resisted the urge. There wasn't a day that passed that she didn't think about the kiss with Sirius, but she always pushed the thought away as quickly as it arose.
Lily was seated beside her on the Hogwarts Express, but both girls were just leaning against one another silently, still tired from the night before. Petunia had had a sleepover with her friends, and they were so loud that they kept Hermione and Lily up half the night, even though Petunia's room was below theirs. Hermione yawned, and Crookshanks, seated on the other side of her, mirrored it. It was already dark, so they would be arriving at Hogwarts in an hour or so.
"I've gotta go to the Prefect meeting," said Hermione, begrudgingly getting up to meet the Head students and Prefects. Lily moved her legs so she could pass and told her to hurry up.
Hermione made her way down the empty train corridor and opened the door to the Prefect compartment. They were all already there, Remus included. He smiled and scooted over so Hermione could sit next to him.
"Right, so that's everyone, yes?" asked Amos Diggory, the Head Boy. He looked a bit like Cedric, but Cedric had been much more handsome. He was a Hufflepuff, just like his son would be.
Everyone looked around and murmured their agreement.
Amos, who turned out to be rather bossy, spoke over everyone, including the Head Girl, and handed out assignments. It was the usual stuff, like Hogwarts hallway patrol schedules, and how he wanted the Prefects to behave especially well while he was Head Boy. Hermione rolled her eyes, but said nothing, until he finally dismissed them and told the sixth year Prefects to check in the train compartments to make sure there wasn't any mischief going on.
The eight Prefects split the train into fourths so patrolling would be quicker, and Remus and Hermione ended up getting the compartments towards the end of the train. Remus got distracted in one particular compartment, when a Ravenclaw girl whispered something in his ear that made him blush, and Hermione rolled her eyes and left him in there, not in the mood to see any flirting. He would catch up with her when he realized she left.
Two compartments down, when she slid the door open, she froze. Sirius, James, and Peter had the compartment all to themselves. They were all already in their robes, and Hermione bit the inside of her lip when she saw Sirius. His hair fell over his eyes the way she liked it, and he was chewing gum. One of his legs was stretched out, and the foot was propped up against the seat across from him. James and Sirius were sitting a few seats away from each other, lounging like it was their train, with their arms draped over the back. Peter was on the opposite side, facing them, and they had obviously been in the middle of talking before the door slid open. Now, they were all silent, staring at Hermione.
"Patrols," she said, lamely, stepping into the compartment to look around, wand in hand.
James shifted awkwardly, and Peter looked like he had no idea why they went silent. She wasn't looking at Sirius, but she could tell his eyes were on her.
"How was the rest of your summer, Hermione?" Peter squeaked. Sirius had obviously told him nothing about what happened.
"Busy, busy, busy," said Sirius, in a tone that made it clear he was taunting her.
She heard James snigger, though he tried to stifle it. The Harry-look-a-like had definitely heard the entire story, just as Lily had. Hermione raised her striking green eyes to glare at the laughing boy, before they moved across the few seats in between to finally look Sirius in the face. He had a smile, but it was forced. She knew he was angry that she had shared a kiss with him and sped off, then when he tried to send a letter, she had simply told the owl to turn around with the envelope and not come back. This was just typical Sirius behaviour. When his ego was bruised, he injured yours back. It was childish to play the game along with him, but she wasn't about to let him make a joke at her expense.
"No, it wasn't," she said, turning back to Peter. She made sure her voice was heard nice and clear. "It was a bit boring, actually. No one of any interest asked me to do anything."
Peter gave her a little nod and smiled, still oblivious to the situation and unaware she had just verbally kicked Sirius below the belt.
When she looked back at Sirius, his forced smile was gone and he just looked downright fucked off. James, too, had his jaw clenched, and she knew it was because Sirius was a brother to him. Sirius stared at her for a few moments, as if he was going to say something, but in the end he just turned his head casually to stare out the window.
"Are you done in here yet?" said James coolly, taking Hermione by surprise with his tone. "I'd like to get back to the conversation we were having before you walked in and ruined it."
Peter's eyes widened, and he was glancing between James and Hermione in confusion.
Hermione felt her temper rising. The way he spoke to her shouldn't have made her so angry, but it did. He was just protecting Sirius, getting defensive for him since Sirius seemed to have just withdrawn from the conversation completely.
It wasn't James' fault that he knew nothing about Hermione. None of them did. He didn't know everything she had been forced to sacrifice, and what she was doing for them and their futures. What she was doing for his future son. They didn't know the constant guilt she felt and the arguments raging inside her all the time, and the confusion that never ceased over whether she should consider this a new life and start over, or if she should hang onto a time that never existed. He didn't know that she was sacrificing herself to save him and Lily from certain death, replacing The Chosen One so she could spare his future son seventeen years worth of misery, fear, torment, and pain.
He didn't know any of it. But she found that she couldn't push down the rage his words invoked.
Her jaw clenched and unclenched, and her grip on her wand tightened. James seemed to notice the change in her, and the way the very air around her crackled with raw energy, because his hand gripped his own wand defensively.
Hermione shook her head, with a small, unimpressed smile. "Relax, Potter. If I wanted to hex you, I would have done so already," she assured. "And you never would have seen it coming."
James snorted, looking at her with a little sneer she had only seen him reserve for Severus and the Slytherins. Now, she had wounded his pride.
"You have a lot of confidence for someone who turns tail and runs because of a kiss, little girl," he said, standing up just to press the intimidation tactic. But, even through her anger, she knew he would never do anything more than disarm her.
"Enough, James," said Sirius, looking between the two cautiously. Peter looked like he didn't know whether to be excited or frightened.
Hermione ignored the seated Marauders. Her focus stayed on James. "Don't talk about what you don't know, Potter," she spat. She had never, ever spat Harry's last name, and she had honestly thought she never would, but James' cockiness was disgusting. "You only know one side of the story."
"His side of the story is all I need to know," said James, and his voice had raised an octave.
"And that thick-headed point of view you have is exactly why my sister refuses to look twice at you," said Hermione, raising her voice to match his. It was cruel, but effective, because his look of contempt faltered a moment and the hurt showed through. It was gone as quick as it came.
"You have nothing do with the situation between Lily and I, so keep your nose out of it and mind your business!" His face was red now, and Sirius was on the edge of his seat, looking like he was ready to jump in between them at any moment. Peter had moved to the corner in case hexes were thrown.
"YOU have nothing to do with the situation between Sirius and I, you hypocritical little brat! Why don't you take your own damned advice?!" His eyes widened, and his jaw clenched. She had him pinned with the hypocrisy of it, but he seemed to need to have the last word. "Fine, I shan't mention it again. Hopefully Sirius will choose someone a little less frigid next time, anyway, instead of a little cocktease like you."
"JAMES!" roared Sirius, jumping to his feet, but Hermione crossed the few feet separating her from Harry's father and smacked him with all the strength she had in her. It was exactly the same way she had hit Draco Malfoy in her past life, and James was knocked back into his seat from the force of it. His glasses were crooked, and he was bleeding a little from where they had cut into his nose from the force of the hit.
She was trembling with anger, and she stepped forward, closer to him, but arms closed around her waist and she felt herself being physically moved out of the compartment. She tried to wriggle loose, but the grip on her was too strong. When they were finally out of the compartment, and Sirius put her down, she wrenched her arm from his grasp.
Hermione was fuming, staring up at him with an expression that could only be described as rage.
"Hermione," he started, stepping towards her, but she cut him off.
"Don't speak to me," she bit out. "Don't look at me. Don't ever utter my name to any of your jolly little mates again."
"But--"
"I don't want to hear it, Black," she said, backing away, still trembling with anger and an emotion she couldn't quite name, but she knew that her chest felt like a troll was sitting on it. Her throat felt like it was closing, and there were tears in her eyes. "I'm sure you and James had a good laugh about what a frigid little cocktease I am."
"I never said--" he began vehemently, imploring her to listen, but she cut off his sentence.
"I don't want to hear it!" she repeated. "Just leave me alone. I want nothing to do with you."
His jaw clenched and he shook his head sadly, but he respected her wishes. The light from the moon was streaming in and illuminating his porcelain skin, but he stepped backwards, putting distance between them. His handsome features were cloaked in shadow when he slid open the compartment door, and, without a word, left her in the dark corridor of the train.
Hermione shut her eyes and backed up against the window of the train, staring through the darkness at nothing in particular. Her breath was quick, and the heaviness in her chest wouldn't go away. Her eyes were still filled with tears, but she wouldn't let them spill. Distantly, she heard a compartment door slide open, and she glanced over to see Remus walking down the dark train hallway by himself. When he saw her, he grinned.
"I'm sorry, I tried to get away but that Ravenclaw girl was trying to get me to go on a date with her. I think she was trying to give me a love potion, she kept trying to get me to have some of her homemade pumpkin juice..." he trailed off as he got closer to her, and the smile fell from his face. He must have seen the tears in her eyes, because he put his hands on her upper arms.
"What's wrong?" he asked, and she looked up into his concerned amber eyes. "Are you alright? Did someone hurt you?"
Hermione shook her head no, but couldn't speak because of the knot in her chest. Something in her seemed to snap, and she took in a great breath because it was suddenly harder to breathe. Remus frowned and did the only thing he could think of to comfort her. He wrapped his arms around her and held her to his chest.
She hadn't let her tears fall since she had woken up all those years ago as Hermione Evans. She had tried to be strong, like she knew Harry would want her to be.
But there, under the light of the moon, she cried silently in Remus' arms. Her whole body shook, but she uttered no noise besides gasps for breath, and she finally let herself go.
She cried for everyone she had lost, from the ones that had died to the ones that she had unwillingly left behind. She cried for Harry, and the desperation he must have felt in order to do what he did. She cried for Ron, Rose, and Hugo, who she would never have in this life. She cried for Petunia, and the bitterness that had ruined their relationship. She cried for Severus, and the friendship she had lost. She cried for Remus, and the prejudice she knew he would have to face. She cried for Sirius, and the loneliness he had must have felt his entire life. She cried for her past life, which was nothing but memories of a time that never existed. She cried for her future, and the battle with evil itself that was coming too quickly.
And, finally, she cried for herself, and her burdening story that she would never be able to share with anyone.
Gah, that last scene was an emotional one to write, I must admit. Hope you all enjoyed the chapter. Reviews are appreciated and encouraged, so let me know what you think!