**A/N: Long author's note at the bottom to explain my absence. But I figured most of you would want to read what's next :)

Chapter 7- Gone

/ɡôn/ adjective. no longer present; departed.

He's gone. Those two words, those earth-shattering words continued to echo in Bethany's head as she stared blankly at the ground in a catatonic state. He's gone.

She felt as if someone had reached down her throat, took an iron hold grip on her heart and was constantly squeezing it. She could literally feel her heart being crushed into a million little pieces as the seconds ticked by and Jamie was still missing. He's gone.

Bethany was briefly aware that they were in the main control room at the Avenger's Facility, but she had no recollection of how she got there. But she didn't care. Not in the slightest. He's gone.

Someone was rubbing her back. Not Steve, her thoughts slowly stitched together. The hand was too large, too soft to be Steve's. She knew it was a woman's hand, but she didn't know who's. And she didn't care. He's gone.

Nausea welled up in her stomach as her emotions, her anxiety and panic for her son's health and wellbeing overwhelmed her again. She could feel bile rise up her throat, into her stomach and spill through her lips as her body began to shake. Someone placed a trash bin on her lap, but she didn't know who. She didn't care. He's gone.

She couldn't hold her tears back. She couldn't breathe. She felt like someone else was controlling her body, telling it what to do and how to act. She felt like she was falling before her side hit something hard. She couldn't seem to stop the shaking and crying. But she didn't care. He's gone.

Soft hands touched her face, lifting her head up to rest on something soft. She could hear voices but could not make out words. She didn't care. He's gone.

Then suddenly, everything left of her vision was replaced completely. She was in a hospital room, the colours surrounding her vivid, warm and welcoming. A sense of calm replaced her anxiety and panic. She heard a soft cooing sound from her arms, looking down to see a blue bundle in her arms. The child was barely a day old, his face still red and scrunched up, but in every single way, he was perfect.

"Hey," Bethany said softly to her boy, a tired smile on her face. Her legs were sore, her core aching, but her heart light. She felt like she was flying as she cradled her son to her body. "You're here. You're finally here."

To actually hold him in her arms, to feel his skin against hers and hear his soft mews… she had never been that happy before. It was like nothing she had ever felt before. As if her life was in a constant state of mediocrity until this very moment, with her beautiful baby boy. "Love doesn't seem to be a big enough word to describe how I feel when I look at you," Bethany whispered. "My sweet, baby. My Jamie."

His heavy eyes fluttered, looking up at his mother. Everything in this world was brand new to his sweet eyes. His eyes were filled with curiosity and wonderment whenever they flickered to something new, but when they were looking at Bethany, he seemed to know exactly who she was. That she would keep him safe.

"Yes, I will," Bethany cooed to him. "I'll keep you safe every single moment, of every single day. Yes…"

Jamie fussed slightly, struggling in the cocoon he was wrapped within. Bethany hushed him lovingly, rocking him gently in her arms, lifting his head up so she could place a kiss to his forehead. "Would you like me to sing to you?" Bethany whispered to him, softly brushing her thumb against his cheek. "I know you're sleepy. Will that help you sleep? Hmm?"

She took in a deep breath, racking her brain through songs that she felt fit the situation. Over the months, she had sung a wide variety of songs to her unborn baby, but now it was different. He was in her arms now. "I'm not a perfect person. There's many things I wish I didn't do. But I continue learning. I never mean to do those things to you. And so I have to say before I go that I just want you to know. I've found a reason for me to change who I used to be. A reason to start over new. And the reason is you."

Steve watched as Wanda slowly caressed Bethany's face. She had been one hundred percent unresponsive since he told her that Jamie was missing. She went from saying nothing, to crying hysterically, to making herself sick on a repetitive circle for hours before she fell from her chair. Steve had begged Wanda to use her magic over her, to keep her from suffering more than she already was. It seemed to be working as Bethany relaxed calmly in Wanda's arms, no worries present on her sleeping face.

Steve sighed, looking back to the large computer screen in front of him. They had been looking for Jamie for close to fourteen hours now and they were coming up blank. Steve's frustration was starting to get the better of him. He felt like he had failed his son once again. He willingly handed him off to someone who disappeared with him. He kept going through the entire scenario, trying to find subtle things he should have considered, seeing his mistakes over and over again.

"We'll find him," Sam reminded Steve, putting a comforting hand on his back.

"This is all my fault," Steve whispered, mostly to himself, but Sam caught it.

"No, it's not," Sam promised. "Listen, whoever did this, they had it planned out really well. They knew what they were doing, knew where you would be and knew the only way to make sure you'd leave him unsupervised. Sorry about that, man."

"That's not your fault," Steve sighed. Sam had been devastated when he heard that the kidnapper had programmed a photographic veil to look like him.

"Do you think it's HYDRA?" Sam asked suddenly.

Steve crossed his arms, closing his eyes and letting out a deep breath. He was starting to get a headache, but he kept pushing it back. His wellbeing was dead last on his to-do list. "I don't know. We know that they have an interest on Jamie, but they certified that they wanted to wait until he was older. I always assumed that meant when he was a teenager. I mean, they could have changed their minds. Or it could be someone else."

"Which doesn't ease your mind any less," Sam concluded. "Not knowing their end game."

"And the fact that there is more than one group of people interested in a toddler," Steve added before shaking his head. "He's a kid! He can barely walk without waddling and still hates bath time!"

He knew that people around the room were looking at him, but he didn't care. They were all there to help them find Jamie. "I know, man," Sam replied solemnly before pulling him in for a comforting hug. Steve didn't realize just how much he needed a hug, to spend just a moment leaning on someone else as the weight of the world was heavily weighing on him.

"Steve?" Kiley asked timidly. Steve pulled away from Sam, looking at the petite blonde who had barely stopped moving since the news reached her ears. But through it all, she had avoided him, like she was trying to stay out of his way. "The fourteen-hour mark just hit."

Steve nodded slowly. The police had suggested that they waited before they told the public and Steve had agreed for a number of reasons. Firstly, they were silently hoping for a ransom demand. It would be the easiest way to get Jamie back, and it would mean that these kidnappers only took Jamie for the money. Although, with how much effort went into their plan and on making sure that they remained hidden during those long hours, it didn't seem to be that simple. Secondly, they didn't want to prematurely contact the public and let them know Jamie was missing. It would lead to a lot of speculation that they just wanted to completely avoid. Thirdly, they didn't want to chance bringing the public into this jeopardizing Jamie's health.

But with fourteen hours passing and no demands or instructions being made, they had to start thinking about their next step. It frustrated Steve that they couldn't find him. They had the top security and surveillance system in the world, and yet none of their technology could pick up Jamie's whereabouts. Enough time had passed for Steve to know that Jamie could very well be anywhere. He felt sick thinking about how terrified the toddler had to be. He hadn't been without his parents in a very long time. Steve was trying to remember if Jamie had ever been left alone for that long.

"Release the photo," Steve instructed Kiley. She offered him a soft smile in return, a sad one that was trying to cheer him up, but it was obvious that she was just as heartbroken about the little boy being gone.

Steve slipped his phone out of his pocket, opening the lock screen and looking at the picture that he had previously sent Kiley. The police asked for the most recent photo of Jamie that showed his most prominent features. He had taken a picture of Jamie before they went shopping, clutching onto his elephant stuffed toy with a large smile. Steve could feel his throat tighten, but he pushed back his tears and need to desperately cry. He needed to stay strong right now. Bethany couldn't and one of them had to.

He looked back towards where Wanda was comforting his wife as she was lost in a dreamland. He hadn't seen her like this ever. He had witnessed her in a lot of pain in the past, but nothing like this. It was as if she forgot how to function. As if her ability to breath, think, speak and act relied purely on Jamie being in her arms. He couldn't help but wonder if she was like this when he went under. He really hoped not. But he understood why she was like that now. If he could, he'd be doing the exact same thing.

"We'll find him," Sam promised him, giving his shoulder a firm and comforting squeeze before walking off in the direction Kiley had disappeared to. Tony's raised voice caught his attention, but he didn't have the energy to tell Tony to stop yelling at the technicians. Every member of the team was there, except for Natasha who was still at Clint's farm, having extended her time away. Steve had considered calling her earlier, but didn't. As much as he wanted her support and fiery passion, he just couldn't bring himself to pick up the phone and call her. He knew how much Jamie meant to her and he didn't want to break another heart just yet.

Leaning against a wall, Steve looked at the photo album on his phone dedicated to Jamie. He knew he was purposely putting himself through torture, but he felt like he had to see Jamie's face. He picked out an older photo and smiled softly to himself. His sleeping face was resting casually, his lips parted softly and his curls wild.

When Jamie was just a newborn, still sleeping in the co-sleeper, Steve would feel a twinge of jealousy that Jamie was sleeping next to Bethany and not him. He understood why it was typical to place the co-sleeper next to the mother's side of the bed. After nine—or eight in Jamie's case—months of being inside their mother, with her through every moment of the day, every breath, every emotion, every shared memory, he could imagine that it would be difficult for both mother and child to be separated for just a few moments.

When Jamie and Bethany were soundly sleeping, Steve would carefully crawl out of bed, pull the blinds open a little to bring some light into their dark bedroom and sit next to the co-sleeper. On most days, Jamie would be facing his mother, and Bethany would be facing her son. It was as if the last thing they saw before they fell asleep were each other's faces, and hopefully the first thing when they woke up. But on some nights, Jamie's head would face the opposite way, giving Steve the ability to see his sleeping face much easier. His cheeks were always rosy while he slept, his breathing even and his fingers mere inches from his parted mouth. Sometimes, if he was confident enough that Jamie was deep enough in his sleep, he would reach over or through the bars of the co-sleeper and touch his soft hands, cheeks or beautiful blond curls. It was a father-son bonding moment that Jamie had no idea he was a part of, but Steve had always loved those little moments between them. He had never even mentioned it to Bethany. It was something he wanted just for him and Jamie, since he knew that Bethany and Jamie had little moments to themselves.

Bethany was aware of a hand slowly moving up and down her arm, but knew it was no longer Wanda's but Steve's. She let her heavy eyes flutter open, reality setting in. He's gone, her thoughts echoed, but she pushed them away. She didn't want to fall back into a depressed catatonic state. She began to sit up in Steve's arms, catching his attention. He released her body, but kept his hands close to her, watching what she would do. She settled down next to him against the wall, looking around the room. It was buzzing with activity, full of people trying to find their son, and here they were, leaning against the wall.

"I feel so helpless," Bethany admitted to Steve, gesturing to the room. "Just sitting here, doing nothing. But I can't-"

"I know," Steve interrupted, taking her hand in his and giving it a tight squeeze. "I was so angry. And then sad. And now… I just feel…"

"Helpless," Bethany finished. "I want to get up. I want to help. I want to strangle every person until I find him but I just—I can't. I physically can't."

Steve lifted their intertwined hands up to his lips, kissing the back of her hand. "We'll find him. Billions of people are now looking for him. We have the world's best resources. We'll find him, Beth."

"What if it's too late?" Bethany asked exasperatedly. "What if we find him and…" She trailed off, her mouth still opened, as if the words were stuck in her throat. "No, Steve. I can-I can't lose him!"

"And we're not going to!" Steve promised her. "We'll find him, okay? And it won't be too late."

"How do you know that?" Bethany cried softly.

"Because he's just a baby," Steve whispered.

"Like they'll care," Bethany sobbed, resting her head against Steve's shoulder. "Is it HYDRA?"
"We don't know," Steve told her. "Honestly Beth, we don't know anything besides the fact that whoever planned this had planned it out well. They were well-equipped and had planned this out very well."

"How did this happen?" Bethany asked rhetorically. "We protect the world, but couldn't protect the one thing that actually matters? I just keep thinking about how scared he must be. He doesn't know what's happening, doesn't know where we are or if he'll ever see us again…"

"He will," Steve promised her. She knew that he was being optimistic and positive to balance out her anxiety and worry.

"I'm sorry," Bethany apologized suddenly. When Steve looked at her in confusion, she elaborated. "Here I am, crying, useless and you're doing exactly what you should."
"Sitting up against a wall?" Steve asked softly, knowing that in a different situation, he would get a chuckle from her.

"It's a sign," Bethany whispered quietly.

Steve frowned again, shifting in his spot to look at her. "What do you mean? A sign for what?" Bethany was quiet, looking at her hands folded in her lap, just grazing her stomach. "Beth, we can't let this get in the way of us having another baby."

"I think we can, Steve. If we can't protect one baby, how do you think we will protect two? Or three?" She said exasperatedly. "It's not fair to bring another baby into this life of ours, knowing that this could happen to them."

"No," he shook his head. "No. We've always said we can't let this affect our life decisions."

"Steve, you wanted to wait because our life was too hectic," Bethany reminded him. "I think that falls under that category. Us saying that we're not going to let the world decide and actually doing it are two different things."

"But you want another baby," Steve began. "And so do I. It's our life-"

"Not when we add another baby to the picture, Steve. It's selfish of us to bring a baby into the world when this is what'll happen."

Steve sighed, putting his head in his hands. Bethany sniffed and wiped her nose. Things had been going so well that she had allowed herself to forget. She pretended that everything was normal in her life. That she, Steve and Jamie were the perfect little family of her dreams. But reality was setting in. Everything wasn't perfect. The world had it out for her. She had already hurt so many people in the past. Her baby, her beautiful, intelligent, loving little boy was out in the world somewhere, learning about just how much the world hated her.

"We'll talk about this later," Steve whispered to her. Bethany went to protest, but he interrupted before she could get a word out. "Bethany, I know you. You change your mind over and over again. This isn't the first time we've had this conversation. You deserve to have the family you want. When Jamie is back in your arms, and you're settled emotionally, we'll talk about what to do next. But until then, please just keep an open mind. This particular circumstance will never happen again."

"But another one could," She mumbled under her breath.

"No," Steve disagreed. "If we were careful before, imagine how impossible it will be in the future to even breathe on him."

"Yeah, because I'm never going to let him out of my sight again," Bethany vowed.

"I don't doubt that," Steve replied honestly.

"Steve!" Natasha called out, marching across the room towards the couple. Steve stood up and pulled Bethany up with him. The redhead pulled Bethany in for a tight hug before punching Steve's arm.

"Ow, hey!" Steve protested.

"That's for letting me find out through the television, you idiot!" Natasha yelled at him.

"I'm sorry!" Steve apologized. "I just—I didn't want anyone else to feel like this…"

Steve's words startled both Bethany and Natasha, but Natasha didn't let that phase her. "The elephant. Did he have it with him when he was kidnapped?"
"The elephant?" Steve asked, confused. "Uhh, yeah. I think so. Why?"

Natasha took a tight hold on Bethany's wrist, dragging her to the main control computer in the center of the room, pushing a technician away from the chair. "I placed a tracking device in the elephant," Natasha explained, Bethany feeling a flutter of hope in her stomach. Steve's hand reached down to intertwine with Bethany's hand in comfort. "It can only be accessed through the Facility's mainframe for security reasons."

They watched as Natasha began to type and play around under her Avengers account, Bethany feeling her throat tighten in anticipation. "There's a chance they ditched the toy, or even destroyed it or planted it if they found the tracking device," Natasha continued to explain. "But this is better than nothing."

"It's a start," Steve voiced quietly.

Bethany felt a comforting hand on her shoulder, looking over to see Tony there. "What's going on?"

"Nat placed a tracking device in the toy she got Jamie for Christmas," Steve explained. "He had it when I… When they took him."

Bethany noticed that Steve was beating himself up. He had handed their son off to the kidnapper willingly, but Bethany didn't blame him at all. If she had seen Sam or Kiley, or any of their friends while she was focused on getting Steve unpinned from the car, she would have handed him over too. She wouldn't have even thought about how convenient it was for them to be there, she would just be placed into survival mode. Bethany rested her head against Steve's arm, trying to silently show that she wasn't angry at him. She was angry, but not at Steve.

"It's honing in," Natasha announced, and it was as if the entire room grew quiet as they waited. Bethany felt sick to her stomach again. Anxiety was building up in her stomach as she waited for a location to center in on the screen. Despite the top-of-the-line computer programs, it seemed like it was taking forever for the location to load.

"Here," Natasha said, pointing up to the location. "It's in Brooklyn."

Looking at the location, Bethany knew with one-hundred percent accuracy that it was the location Jamie was at. It wasn't a plant; her son was there. "Steve," she whispered under her breath. Her heart was telling her to go to him right then and there. No plan, no comprehension of the specifics. Just go to her little boy. But her legs were winning out. Not because in reality, staying and conjuring up a plan was the smart thing to do, but because she physically couldn't move them.

"I know," he whispered. He recognized the location as well. It wasn't random. It was a place both of them knew very well. One that Bethany had forgot about and really shouldn't have.

"You two know it?" Natasha asked, confusion on her face.

"It's where Project Rebirth was done," Steve explained to their friends. "It's where I became… Captain America."

"Okay, let's suit up," Tony suggested, but Bethany shook her head.

"We can't go in all guns a blazing. They wouldn't be keeping Jamie in the first room. He's probably in one of the medical examination rooms, all the way deep into the building. It'll give them time to take him or…" Or worse, she thought silently to herself.

"She's right, we can't chance it," Steve added. "We have to be careful about this. Calculated. If we make even one mistake, we're in trouble. They'll know we're looking for them. They'll be on high alert."

"Why keep him in New York? Why not try to take him far away?" Wanda asked curiously.

"Two reasons," Bethany began. "Taking him out of the country, even the state, chances someone seeing it. A camera catching it. And also, it would be what they'd expect us to do. Look around the world, far away from home as possible."

"Not to mention that they know that facility is secretive. And holds meaning," Steve added.

"Do you think it's HYDRA?" Sam asked.

"I think it's still to early too tell," Steve answered honestly. "But they did know that building existed."

"Well, so did the rest of the world," Natasha justified. "When I released SHIELD's documents, it included a lot of the SSR's. It wouldn't have taken much to find it, if someone was trying to find it."

"It does give us an upper hand though," Bethany replied quietly. "We know the building. Not by a computer drawing up the images, but we walked those halls, Steve. Assuming things are relatively the same, we wouldn't be completely blind walking in there."

"But that's the thing. Can we really just walk in there?" Steve asked.

"You could try to work out a deal with them," Rhodey offered, but Bethany knew that there was nothing diplomatic about this. Even if she had to sell her soul to the devil in order for them to willingly hand Jamie back to her, she was out for revenge at this point. She had a thirst to spill the blood of every single person involved.

"No. In order to get him back, we're going to need a very carefully coordinated game plan," Natasha voiced before looking at Bethany. "This is a spy's work."

**A/N: OKAY. So I know I've been gone. Life has thrown me a curveball. Death comes in two in my family (always, it's creepy, I honestly don't know why it happens like this but it does) so after my grandmother passed from cancer, my great-great aunt passed as well. I'm 100% okay. Both of them were really sick and were not living life AT ALL so I'm happy that they are both out of their misery. Their death hasn't effected me negatively (probably my medication since I have an anxiety disorder) but it has taken a lot of time away from relaxing/ writing. That, paired with working and of course school, has been difficult.

I'm not giving up on the story however :) It's going to take a while in between updates while I get through the Christmas season (I have so many parties to attend, on top of exams and work) but hopefully I'll be able to get back to my normal self.

I have 200 words of chapter 8, so it won't be ready for a while, but hopefully this chapter helped ease some anxiety..?

Ashleymcd25: Sorry I couldn't update sooner!

Cleo9427: Haha, despite the fact that I've seen OTH, I didn't actually put two-and-two together in this case. I always needed ONE of Bethany and Steve's kids to be kidnapped at one point, and I chose Jamie. Could have easily been any child of theirs :)

lenabui98: Yes, yes the baby :(

MaddazaHatter: Sorry for making you wait! I'm trying, I promise!

AngelLove1728: :( Yes, Jamie.

Adela: Yeah, Bethany is a little off her rocker in this chapter. She picks herself back up in the next one though :)

anonymouscsifan: PHOTOSTATIC VEIL :) I was trying to figure out how to have Jamie kidnapped with little suspicion at first and I got really excited when I remembered the veil :) AND HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THE TRACKING DEVICE IN THE ELEPHANT?! My mom has been collecting them for a very long time, so she gets a new one every year... well, until about 5 years ago because we ran out of room to put them.

ellidraco1014: Sorry :(

ImsebastianstanButter: Welcome :)

infinateconstellations: Haha, welcome! Well, we know where he is now, but not who has him ;)