Broken Promises: Chapter Seven - Let It All Out.


Two weeks have passed since Edward and I agreed to remain just friends.

It was proving harder than I imagined.

Don't get me wrong - I know it was my idea and I don't regret it. But Edward Cullen was turning out to be the best friend I could ever ask for.

He listened to me, helped me with schoolwork and of course, was there to bail me out when Alice tried to whisk me away on one of her many shopping trips.

Even though we are extremely good friends, I've still yet to let him in on my secrets.

Not a "I secretly watch Dora the Explorer" secret.

But my deep secrets.

We were laying on the hood of his Volvo one Saturday evening, just talking among ourselves and that was when he asked me.

"So why do you cut?" He asked almost too casually.

"Excuse me?" I asked him, shocked.

I thought he noticed on the plane, I wasn't exactly sure. But either way, I never thought he'd bring it up. Especially to my face and so casually.

"Bella." He begun. "I know you don't exactly trust me right now. After all the things you've heard, I couldn't imagine why you would. But, please know that I am here for you and if you ever need to talk or anything, please please know."

He took my hands at this point. He continued on. "Please know that I will be here for you no matter what."

I smiled at him and he squeezed my hand.

Followed, was a comfortable few minutes of silence.

I stared at him as he was staring up at the beautiful nights sky.

I took a deep breathe.

"I started when I was thirteen." I admitted.

He stared at me in confusion. "What?" He asked.

"It. This." I rolled up my sleeve on my left wrist, the one with the most marks.

I sighed and continued. "I started cutting when I was thirteen. Please don't think I'm an attention seeker or whatnot, Edward. Because believe me, I'm not. Why did I start? Problems, major problems. I was deeply depressed and I tried to kill myself many times Before. One night, I had this physical fight with my mother and I tried to hang myself with sheets from the bathroom. It didn't work, obviously. So I got the sharpest knife from the kitchen and it would look like I was trying to slice my arm off. Then as the years went on, I changed my weapons from knives to sharp pieces of glass and if I cut hard enough, I could make the blood pump out. And to me, it just feels like a release, Edward. I did it so much, so young that it's almost become an addiction. And I honestly... I just don't know how to stop."

There, I said it, I thought to myself. I told Edward, the playboy, my deepest darkest secret. Why? I honestly don't know.

He was quiet for a long time that I begun to think he had gone into shock and lost the power to speak or something.

I looked at him and he was staring at me with the most solemn of eyes.

His eyes conveyed so much emotion in them that it almost made me want to cry. Almost.

I only told him one of my secrets. One of many others I wasn't sure if I was ready to release that on him. Nobody deserved my problems dropped on them.

He scooted closer to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.

He kissed the top of my head and whispered into my ear; "You don't have to be scared anymore Bella. I'm here now and I'll make damned sure you won't hurt yourself ever again. I'm here, Bella, I'll protect you."

I nodded into his chest, not knowing if he was joking or being totally serious.

But I didn't care, I was perfectly content.

Later that night ...

Edward and I were walking to our dorm room, holding hands.

Before you ask, yes we're still just friends. But friends can hold each others hands, right?

Edward suddenly stopped to a halt outside of the door, me almost tripping over him.

"What's wrong, Edward?" I followed his eyes down to where he was staring and looked at the tall vase of flowers.

But not just any flowers - roses. Red and white. They looked really beautiful.

If only Edward culd make that kind of gesture... Woah Bella, stop yourself!

You do not have feelings for Edward Cullen, especially romantic ones.

I lied, I do have feelings for him. He's a really good friend to me and those are the only feelings I had and ever will have towards him.

"Wow, Edward." I joked. "What girl has got you all hot and bothered this time?!" I laughed.

He only gave me a glare.

I wondered what it could be that got him so worked up.

That Shoebe girl?

"What is it, Edward? Who are they from?" I asked.

He sighed and gave them to me.

"They're for you. Mr. Corny Secret Admirer strikes again." he informed me and laughed with no humour in his voice.

I read the card:

Dearest Bella,

Hello,.it's me again. These flowers are for you. Rose means beauty and with two different kinds of roses, two different kinds of beauty.

Both in and out.

So for now, just enjoy them and everytime you see or sniff them, you can be reminded of me.

Until we meet.

Your Secret Admirer. xoxo

When I finished reading it, I rolled my eyes and snorted.

I kept getting ongoing cards, letters, and presents from this so called "secret admirer."

At first it was flattering but then it started to get annoying.

If this guy liked me so much as he said he does - why not tell me who he is?

Why not give me a name, email or address?

It was almost like he was stalking me.

I don't know who this guy is. And I'm utterly convinced that it's not Edward now.

It doesn't seem like something he would do.

And if he was trying to get me to like him, he'd be a bit more poetic or something else with his words, I'm sure.

Or at least think of something more original than flowers and candy.

And plus, he was already pretty open with his feelings toward me. No need for cheesy secret admirers.

I tossed the flowers to Edward and told him to throw them in the trash.

He grinned and opened the door for me.

When we set foot inside, I flung myself on my bed and buried my head in my pillow and sighed.

The next thing I knew, I was dreaming.

A/N: Okay, guys. I'm on in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. And I wrote this the past week, on and off. And my friend Hailey is at school so I decided to type this up quickly.

It's good so far. I got a Twilight t-shirt and Twilight chocolateeee. I was so shocked when I found it, I thought it was going to be really hard to find and there it was at Barnes and Noble! I'm going to the Dark Room tonight, mm. Nervousness? You guys can look it up.