Quick heads up that this chapter goes some ugly places. There's some suggestions of sexual and other violence, however there is not rape or sexual violence. Regardless, I don't want anyone feeling blindsided.
Kara was already annoyed when she landed on Lena's balcony.
She had finally been released by the DEO after an hour - under protest - under their sunlamps, and had immediately swung by the hospital, even changing into Kara Danver's clothes to hopefully gain less attention. Questioning herself, she had gone so far as to pick up flowers, only to find that Lena had already checked out and left.
Checking her phone showed she didn't have any missed calls or texts, and a quick call to Alex confirmed that neither she nor anyone else at the DEO knew anything more about Lena's whereabouts. They hadn't picked her up or debriefed her, knew nothing after Kara had dropped Lena to the ED before returning for her own debrief and medical care.
All of which meant she'd either been kidnapped, or - far more likely - she'd checked herself out and gone home without so much as telling anyone.
Kara let her feet thud onto the balcony as she landed, enough to rattle the building but not damage it. It was petty - especially given she was doing her best to be discreet, since she wasn't arriving in her Supergirl regalia - but she was pissed off. And that didn't get any better when she went to the balcony door Lena always left open for her, and found it locked.
She very nearly treated it to a burst of heat vision. Instead she breathed deeply and rapped her knuckles on the glass. It rattled, too.
It took several heartbeats for Lena to appear. She was on the far side of the room, behind one of her obnoxious couches, and moving slowly. Still, she seemed to hesitate, lingering at the far edge of the room before circling around to the door and unlocking it, stepping back to let Kara slide it open.
She had one arm in a sling, white gauze holding up the plaster cast that wrapped her right wrist. It seemed out of place against the rest of her outfit, the sleeveless blouse and fitted skirt now smeared with dirt and blood. If she'd had time to shower, probably she would have already replaced it with one of her unending collection of silk scarves, something subtle but striking that enhanced her overall presentation. Probably that lack of time explained the state of her hair too, its clasp long gone but the pins still present so that it draped across her shoulders in a heavy mass.
Kara reached for a pin about to drop, confused when Lena swayed back out of her reach, until her eyes fell again to the plaster cast.
"Oooh, sorry," she said. "Does it hurt a bunch? Is it the same spot as last time? Alex said that was bad for a break, so it takes longer to heal. Did you get good painkillers at least? I hope so."
Lena stared at her. "It's fine," she said. "I've had worse."
Kara paused. Lena had yet to move aside to let her further into the apartment, and for the first time she realised the lights were off.
"Does your… does your head hurt?" she ventured. "Alex said you might have a concussion, and that you should take it easy. I think she was worried, actually, although she wouldn't say so."
Lena shrugged, finally stepping away from the door. She turned her back on Kara, making her way into the kitchen and opening what she knew was the liquor cabinet.
"No concussion," she said, emerging moments later with a glass of whiskey. Kara eyed it carefully, the way Lena held herself tight upright, and guessed it wasn't her first glass.
"Uh… should you be drinking? With your painkillers?" she asked uncertainly, finally moving away from the door.
"Probably not."
Despite her response, Lena took a gulp from the glass, her eyes meeting Kara's over the top. Kara took another step closer and then stopped, suddenly unsure what to do with her hands. Perhaps she should have brought the flowers after all.
"Well, you wanna tell me why you left the hospital without telling anyone?" she asked instead. "I came back to find you and was told you'd checked out. No text, no call… what was that about?"
That finally got a reaction, although Kara wasn't sure if it was the question or the tone. Lena turned to her, her face incredulous.
"As opposed to what?"
Kara felt her mouth drop open. "Lena," she started, circling around the couch towards her. "I already told you I'd come for you."
Lena stepped back from her, and she felt it like a slap. Kara froze, her hands open, but Lena didn't relent.
"Well, here I am. What do you want?"
Lena's voice was low and sharp, deadly. Everything that Kara had been taught to expect from a Luthor and nothing she'd ever seen from her lover; Lena's back straight against the wall, the glass held low and tight. Kara stared at her.
"What the hell, Lena," she sputtered. "What. the. Hell. I went to the hospital looking for you and you just left? Like that was normal?" Lena's face didn't change, and Kara tried again. "Okay, how about today? What the hell was that? You were just going to go with that guy? I know you carry but what the hell was the plan?"
For the first time Lena's face showed something, a flicker of confusion rather than the blank, defiant mask she'd worn a moment before.
"I didn't have a plan," she said, and Kara gaped at her.
"You - what. What? You were just going to go with him?" She could hear the edge of hysteria in her own voice, but she couldn't stop it.
Lena shrugged, one shouldered. "You were going to let me go, what's the problem?"
It was meant to sound indifferent, as disinterested as her posture - neither making eye contact nor even turning to face Kara. But her voice held a sharp note, some part of her control worn to fraying, and that was what Kara heard.
"When I thought you had a plan!" she exploded. "I thought you were trying to create an opening and I didn't even want you doing that! But what, you were just going to go with him?"
"He hurt you," Lena spat back, pushing out from the wall. "Over the alien detection device. Yes, I was going to go with him, because it was my fucking fault."
"He was going to kill you! Over that stupid device!"
"Yes, because I made a mistake. Because I miscalculated, and didn't understand what the response would be, and I thought it would be fine and it wasn't and I can live with that, I can bear that. The consequences are mine, but I got you hurt."
Lena had leaned forward when she argued, gesturing one handed as best she could, but now something flickered over her face and she stepped back against the wall. "Wait. Is that why you're here?"
"Yes, because I'm not hurt, you are," Kara snarled. "Half an hour under the sunlamps and I was fine, but he broke your arm, Lena! Again!"
That ugly thing flickered over Lena's face again. Anger, Kara would decide later, but mostly fear. But she didn't show it in the moment, only slugged back the last of her whiskey and dropped the glass so it bounced off the carpet between their feet. Then she started pulling at the buttons on her own shirt, yanking one handed so that they tore from the shirt and spun out across the floor.
"What…" Kara's eyes dipped to Lena's breasts, her bra bared beneath the torn neck of her shirt, then rose to her eyes. Her anger fled, leaving her bewildered.
"This is what you came for, right?" Lena toed off her shoes. The second one caught on her heel and she kicked savagely until it flew loose, leaving her inches shorter. She pressed suddenly into Kara's chest, the cast a harsh barrier between them.
Kara caught her, and then Lena was standing up on her toes to kiss her fiercely, her lips pressing hard and fast, nothing soft to them. Kara opened her mouth on a gasp, and Lena swept inside, pushing and tugging at her, her mouth hot and slick and demanding.
Kara kissed her back, hands rising to grasp at Lena's waist and then her hair, but her hands grazed the open sides of Lena's shirt along the way and she jerked them back, lifting them instead to Lena's shoulders to ease her back.
"Lena, no," she said, and Lena's eyes flashed and then burned. Her already high heart rate kicked into overdrive.
"Of course not," she sneered, stepping back. She yanked at her shirt again, tugging the sling over her head when it got in the way, and dropping both onto the floor. Then she knelt, her hands on Kara's thighs and her eyes furious. "Is this it? Submissive enough for you? Congratulations, you've finally got a Luthor on her knees for you, ready to be punished as you see fit. I won't drag you down any further, Supergirl."
Kara stared down at her. Shirtless, Lena's raven hair stood out against her pale skin with shocking vividness, making of it a dark depth in the dim apartment. Her lipstick was long gone, gnawed away in distraction and pain hours earlier. Only her eyes held colour in her white face, and even their deep sea green was muted in the greyness.
"Well?" Lena prompted. She rocked her hips forward, but swayed, fingers clenching on Kara's thighs to stabilise herself. "What are you waiting for?"
It was the loss of balance that gave it away. Lena could out-drink Alex, probably, and not so much as slur her words until she fell into an unconscious sleep. She had that much poise, that much practice, at not appearing sloppy in public. But it would still affect her balance, however slightly, and now she was looking for it Kara could see the way her pupils were large and glossy, more alcohol on her breath than the single glass explained. That was why she was giving away so much more than she ever would usually.
"Come here," Kara said.
Lena resisted initially, but when Kara put a hand on her head she let herself be guided, pressing the side of her face against Kara's thigh. She would have nosed up the bottom of the skirt, but Kara held her still with a hand in her hair.
"You thought I came here to punish you. For releasing the alien device to the public. And because I had to protect you."
Lena stopped pressing her face into Kara, going still. Kara let her be silent for a space of heartbeats, then nudged her gently with a knee.
"Yes," she muttered.
"And because I got hurt."
"Yes."
Kara sighed, loosening her grip on Lena's hair. She rubbed her thumb across her scalp, pressing into the divots behind her temples and trying to release the headache that showed so clearly on Lena's face.
"Did you ever stop to think that I get hurt every day?"
Lena tensed again, then let out a slow breath when Kara kept rubbing at her head. Her muscles didn't relax, but after a moment she answered.
"You choose to do that. To protect people. But I… I was responsible, and you got hurt… I heard your bone break, Kara."
Kara. Kara, not Supergirl. Well, that was something. She scratched at the base of Lena's skull, trying to think, and the kneeling woman squirmed against her, her cast scraping against Kara's knee.
Wait. Her mind raced back. To Lena's broken arm, the old bone scars she'd seen on that wrist, the matching ones on her ribs. All of them old, dating back to at least her childhood, and Kara'd wondered how she'd broken them and Lena had never said.
Jesus. Was that what this was? Had someone broken those bones on purpose, punishing Lena for her mistakes? Kara had hated Lillian Luthor before, thought her cruel and manipulative, but she'd never guessed that it might have gone this far. That she'd hurt a child.
"That - my bone breaking," she fumbled. "That scared you?"
Lena didn't answer, only released an exhale against her thigh. Kara tried not to notice the way it made her stomach clench, heat rising.
"But - Lena - I'm not hurt? Not really, his tech didn't really mimic kryptonite well. As soon as I got away from him I started to heal, and seriously, I've had much worse."
Lena froze, then pushed away from her leg. Kara let her go, her fingers catching and tugging sharply at a hairpin, but Lena didn't seem to notice.
"That's not the point," she said. She shook her head frantically, and Kara tried to remember if she'd ever seen her this discomposed, this disorganised. She gestured with her casted arm, wildly enough to make Kara flinch. "This won't be the only time. This is just the first time, the first time that I fuck up, and it'll happen again. It'll happen worse, and you should - you should go. Before I hurt you more. I won't meant to, but I will, and Kara, you - ," she shook her head, "you deserve better, you need better than a Luthor who will just drag you down."
"That's what you think," Kara said softly. She felt sick. "You think I came here to punish you."
Lena didn't say anything. Her eyes were a mess of defiance and acceptance. Then she closed them, and nodded.
"Okay. All right."
She didn't want to guess what Lena was thinking when she reached down and tugged her up from under the arms, putting her back on her feet. Nor when she tugged her to follow her, back through the still open balcony door. But they'd been through this before, and she'd said all that she could say.
It hadn't stuck, and now she was left looking for a way to get through to Lena - to communicate in a way that was felt more than spoken.
She could have used her superspeed to make a point, and didn't. Only brought Lena, still shirtless, out to the edge of the balcony, facing her outward and stepping behind her. Pressing her upper body down onto the wide railing, her broken arm pinioned beneath her, before Kara threaded her fingers back into her hair, just barely holding her in place.
"Is this it?" she asked. "What you expected from me?"
She leaned forward, pressing her weight into Lena from behind and bracketing her head with her elbows, trying hard not to put weight onto Lena's broken bone but knowing it was probably inevitable. Trying not to make this worse than it needed to be.
Lena gasped, and Kara spoke into her ear.
"Is this what you want? For me to bend you over here and punish you for doing something that might have hurt people?" She paused. "For me to make you stare out over the city while I f-fuck you? Fine. If that's what you want, what you really want, I'll do it."
She let go of Lena's hair, her fingers instead sliding over her scalp in a caress.
"But if that's what you want, we'll talk about it first. About boundaries, and limits, and - safe words? Safe words - and it's not going to be like this. Not where you're scared I'm actually going to hurt you, because I'm not, not ever, not for something like this. Because no matter what you think right now, you didn't do anything wrong.
"You didn't hurt me, and you didn't try to hurt anyone else. You did everything you could to make the tech safe, to make it into something that could help people instead of hurting, and someone took that the wrong way, and that isn't your fault." She hesitated. "Last night… do you know that was the only violent incident? The alien who came after you. There were protests and grumbling and a lot of nastiness on Twitter, but the only person who got violent came after you, not anyone else. And even that wasn't legit."
Lena breathed heavily, her cheek pressed into the cool brick. "How do you know that?"
Kara sighed. "Because of the kryptonite imitating tech. Think about it, does it make any sense that someone who objects to Luthor technology on general principle would have kryptonite imitating technology? So we looked into him - okay, Alex and Winn looked into him - and traced back a bunch of money and leads. And found out he'd been hired by one of your competitors to damage L Corp and improve their stock. He didn't even care about the technology, and neither did they, they just thought it'd be easy to make you look bad. Other people are unhappy, but no one else is angry enough to get violent just because one TV anchor decided to link you to everything your family did."
"But they aren't wrong," Lena argued. "The tech is - it's dangerous, and it's Luthor money, and I'm - I - "
"You are more than your family, and who they are and what they did to you."
Lena gasped again, her mouth pressing open against the railing of her balcony, and began to cry.
Her shoulders shook beneath Kara's, her whole body breaking into a tremor that felt like she'd been holding it off for days. And Kara tugged her up in a heartbeat, spinning her in her arms to press her face into her own shoulder, wrapping her arms fiercely around her.
"You are more than your family," she whispered again. "... you act like I'm the one who has to put up with everything, like I'll just disappear when you make one mistake, when you are the only person who could possibly understand and tolerate the way I disappear on a moment's notice. When you've tried so hard to protect my privacy, put up with my nerves and handled my overprotective sister. Darling, I already told you. You are more than your family, you are more than that to me."
Lena sobbed harder at the endearment, and Kara held her closer. She stroked her fingers repeatedly through Lena's hair, holding her in place with a hand around her waist as she began to pick out the pins that still held it back, dropping them on the balcony as she went. Lena gripped onto her shirt, fingers twisting in the fabric as she cried, and Kara smoothed her hair again and again until she began to calm.
"Thank you." Lena's voice was thready, her throat clearly worn from crying, but Kara heard her without trouble. She hugged her again.
"I'm here for you." She kissed the top of Lena's head. "Do you want to go inside? Maybe shower, your clothes are filthy."
Lena looked down, seeming to notice her own state of dishevelment for the first time. She flushed, hands coming up to cover her lacy bra, and nodded.
"There better not be any photojournalists around," she muttered, and Kara snorted.
"You didn't seem to care a minute ago."
Still, she wrapped her arm around Lena's shoulders, guiding her gently over the tiled balcony and through the sliding door. Then she turned the light on, and closed the door.