A/N: Thanks for your patience and thank you for reading! This chapter went places I wasn't expecting (and ended up longer than I was expecting), but it's going to be good stuff down the line. Merry Christmas dear readers!

Christmas 2007

"It's too bad this isn't a longer flight," Brain whispered into Justin's ear, the tip of his tongue flicking the spot that drove Justin crazy.

"It's too bad this isn't a bigger plane," Justin replied before dodging another ear kiss. His jeans were already uncomfortably tight, and Brian's caresses weren't helping matters.

"Stop it," Justin laughed, gently swatting away Brian's hand as it crept slowly up his thigh. Out of the corner of his eye Justin saw a woman who was sitting across the aisle from them turn to look, her eyes widening as she raised her novel up to hide her face.

"I just can't help myself," Brain's mouth was back on Justin's ear. "It's been over a month you know."

Justin was perfectly aware. Aside from a brief, public reunion at the airport in New York when Brian's flight from Pittsburgh had arrived, they hadn't been alone yet. Justin was dying to put his hands all over Brian, and apparently Brian felt the same way about Justin but couldn't (or wouldn't) wait and wasn't taking into account their audience.

"Are you excited?" Justin grasped Brian's hand and snuggled into his shoulder, trying to distract Brian from sex; as if that were really possible.

"I thought it was obvious," Brian stuck his tongue in his cheek as he guided Justin's hand to his swollen crotch.

"I meant about seeing everyone," Justin pulled his hand away and swatted Brian's knee, laughing once more.

"I'm breathless with anticipation," Brian replied dryly, throwing his head back against his seat and looking out the window.

They were on their way to Toronto for Christmas. Mel and Lindsay had invited everyone for this year's holiday which meant a full house with not only the lesbians, Gus, and J.R., but also Michael, Ben, Hunter and of course Debbie and Carl.

"Well I can't wait to see the kids," Justin threaded his fingers through Brian's once more, "especially Gus. I wonder if he'll remember me."

"Who could forget you," Brian replied with a bit more sarcasm than he'd intended.

"Be nice," Justin lightly elbowed Brian in the stomach.

"It's been awhile. And he's only seven," Brian added. "Don't expect too much."

Justin sighed. Brian would never admit it, but he was terrified Gus wouldn't remember him, his own father. He'd been up to visit a few times since Mel and Lindsay had moved, but he had been even less of a presence in Gus's life than he'd wanted, and Justin knew that. He imagined being a long-distance father was even harder than being a long-distance lover. Gus had been supposed to spend a week with Brian earlier in the year, but he'd gotten sick and the trip had been cancelled. Brain never admitted his disappointed out loud, but Justin had heard it in his voice when they'd talked on the phone.

The older Gus got, the more Justin could see Brian wanting to be more a father and less a guest appearance in his son's life. He wished he could do something to make things easier – he wished he could convince Mel and Linds to go back to Pittsburgh. It wouldn't happen, though. Both women had found incredible success in Toronto, and the kids were very happy. Justin sighed inwardly.

"Well Lindsay told me he can't wait to see you," Justin said with a grin.

"I'm sure," Brian replied, his tone subdued and his expression impossible to read.

"Daddy!"

Gus's voice, unmistakable, echoed.

"Fuck," Brain murmured.

"I told her not to come," Brian added, smiling across the baggage claim at Lindsay as Gus waved and took off towards them, weaving through the waiting, hovering crowds.

Justin just smiled though he too felt guiltily disappointed.

Glancing at Brian, Justin saw the annoyance that had colored his face slowly melt away as his son came up and wrapped his arms around his waist.

"Guess he remembers you," Justin whispered into Brian's ear.

"Shut the fuck up," Brian softly teased before pulling Gus off him and leaning down to pick him up.

"Sonny boy! You've grown," Brian tousled Gus's wild brown hair before he pulled him into a hug.

Gus looked more and more like Brian the older he got and watching them together Justin felt an overwhelming amount of love for them both. He looked back to Lindsay who was now walking towards them when he noticed the same woman from the plane watching them and smiling widely. When she saw Justin looking at her she turned away quickly, but then looked back and smiled again. Justin returned a smile and nodded.

"I told you not to come," Brian admonished as Lindsay came upon them. He lowered Gus to the ground. Justin smiled at Gus as he looked back at him curiously.

"Gus couldn't wait to see you," Lindsay smoothed her son's hair before she followed his gaze. "You remember Justin?"

Shrugging, Gus smiled shyly up at Justin.

"Hi Gus," Justin said to the little boy, trying not to feel hurt that he didn't get the same hello Brian did. Then he felt guilty for feeling that way. He wasn't his father. There was no real reason that he should get such an adoring hello.

"We used to color together sometimes. When I was real little," Gus said suddenly, as he stared intently at Justin.

"Yeah, we did," Justin grinned. He glanced at Brian and saw him beaming at his son. It only made his aching groin swell more. God, he wanted to put his hands all over him, put his mouth all over him; let Brian fuck his brains out.

"Shall we go?" Lindsay grasped Gus's hand and started towards the exit.

Brian and Justin followed Lindsay to the house in their rental car. Brian had tried to convince Lindsay to let them stop at the hotel first so they could drop their stuff (and so they could have a quickie to alleviate both their extremely uncomfortable and aching cocks), but Lindsay (and Gus) had been insistent that they come over right away. It seemed as though Brian and Justin would have to wait even longer to be alone.

Everyone else was already at the house when they arrived, and it was a whirlwind of hugs and kisses and chatter – mostly from Debbie and Mel, and mostly directed to Justin. None of the Pittsburgh crowd had seen Justin for nearly a year because even though Justin made occasional trips to see Brian, that's what they were; trips to see Brian.

Gus, bored with the adult chatter and obviously noticing Brian's lack of involvement in the conversation, spirited his dad away – dragging him by the hand up to his bedroom chattering on about all the drawings he'd been doing and excited to show them off. Justin hoped Brian would take pause and enjoy spending one on one time with his son.

When it was time for dinner, everyone crowded around the dining room table. Brian shifted his chair as close to Justin as he could, letting the length of their thighs rest against each other. Justin played along, leaning into Brain's shoulder and occasionally letting his hand drop underneath the table to stroke Brian's noticeably swollen cock. Dinner was a cacophony consisting of Debbie insisting everyone eat more more more; J.R. screaming and throwing things at Gus; Hunter and Carl talking college football; and Mel and Lindsay rushing back and forth to the kitchen. Only Michael and Ben were as quiet as Brian and Justin. Likely they wanted to be alone as well.

Chaos ensued when Jenny Rebecca managed to throw the entirety of her dessert at the wall, splattering raspberries down the off-white paint and distracting everyone except Brian and Justin. Taking advantage of the moment, Brian grasped Justin's hand and dragged him quickly from the house. Outside the door, Brian rubbed his crotch against Justin as he pressed his mouth to his, opening his lips and letting his tongue dance around with Justin's.

"We're going, and I don't give a fuck what the munchers say," Brian panted as he pulled away. "Go get in the car."

Turning back to the house, Brian disappeared inside. Justin went to the car, cold and shivering. Ice was beginning to form on the windshield. A few minutes later Brian reappeared, their coats in hand.

"You felt sick," Brian shrugged as he tossed their coats in the backseat and started the car, blasting the heat which until the car warmed up simply blew cool air on them. "Mel was more than happy to excuse us from the rest of the evening's festivities, whatever the hell they are."

"Thank God," Justin groaned, his hand gripping the inside of Brian's thigh as he leaned over and gave him another open mouthed kiss.

"I don't think I can wait much longer," Justin whispered, his lips against Brian's.

They barely made it into the hotel suite before the bags were tossed aside and forgotten and they were tearing clothes off each other, heedless of romance or foreplay. Breathless and anxious, Brian turned Justin against the hotel door and in one swift motion slid on a condom and slid into Justin.

Fifteen minutes later they were on the bed, arms and legs wrapped around each other as their hands and mouths moved over one another. The initial need satiated, they were now ready to take it slow; and slow they did – all night.

The following day Brian and Justin took Gus out. Lindsay had given them a list of ideas for things to do with him around Toronto. The museum, the zoo, ice skating – all things he loved. They settled on the zoo. It was cold out, but not unbearably, and Gus was excited to see the Polar Bears. Brian showered Gus with anything and everything he wanted – cotton candy, hot chocolate, a polar bear hat and matching stuffed animal. The three of them wandered the zoo, sometimes Gus between Brian and Justin holding their hands, sometimes Gus wandered ahead of them in which case Brian and Justin would hold hands. For Justin, it was the first time that he and Brian had ever been out, alone, with Gus. Like as his parents. Justin had spent plenty of time with Gus in the company of other people, and a few times alone with Brian at the loft but never out like they were now. It was nice. In fact, Justin found himself wishing it wouldn't end. That instead of taking Gus back to Mel and Lindsday's, he and Brian could take Gus back to their home…but then he realized they didn't have a home. Justin had his apartment in New York City and Brian had his loft in Pittsburgh. They were lucky to see each other once every other month, let alone have a home to share together.

A profound sadness washed over Justin as he realized how much he still wanted so many things that he wasn't sure Brian really wanted or would ever want. Marriage; a home; a family of his own… He was content with things as they were for now, but Justin could feel a seed of restlessness being sown and it scared him. He couldn't live his life like this forever…but how long could he wait?

Brian was quiet too, most of the day. He was attentive to Gus and unusually affectionate towards Justin but Justin couldn't tell what he was thinking…and that made him nervous.

After they dropped an exhausted Gus off at Mel and Lindsay's that night, they rode back to the hotel in silence. They didn't talk, but Brian did reach out and grip Justin's hand, slowly stroking his thumb across the back.

Back at the hotel, Brian headed straight for the shower, shedding his clothes as he made his way through the suite. Justin followed behind, simultaneously collecting Brian's clothes while taking off his own. Depositing the pile of clothing onto the bed, Justin joined Brian in the shower.

"Today was a lot of fun," Justin broke the silence as he ducked his head under the stream of hot, steamy water. He hadn't realized how chilled he was from being outside all day until the warmth of the shower hit him.

"Yeah," Brian replied as he lathered up Justin's back with the "designer" soap that had come with the room.

"Gus is amazing," Justin said, closing his eyes as Brian's hands gently massaged his back and shoulders.

There was no answer from Brian as he continued to wash Justin's back.

"Hey," Justin turned to face him, taking the soap from him. "Talk to me."

Brian just shrugged.

"Bri-," Justin started but was cut off by Brian's mouth on his, tongue forcing its way in, the kiss hungry and aggressive.

Justin dropped the soap and reached his arms up to grab at Brian's head, meeting his advances with his own hungry appetite and momentarily shelving the talk they obviously needed to have.

Christmas went off without a hitch. The kids were thrilled, especially Gus. He was showered with more gifts than a seven year old could ever know what to do with but to his credit he was more interested in being near Brian. Justin watched the two of them over the next few days. Gus would sit next to Brian, look for his approval with anything he said or did, and the way he carried himself mimicked Brian as well. It was going to be heartbreaking for both of them when Brian and Justin had to leave.

The night before their flight back to New York Brian was once again unusually quiet on the drive back to the hotel. This time he didn't reach out for Justin's hand, though.

There were tears; Mel and Lindsay, Gus. Even Justin teared up, watching with the girls as Brian tried to pull away from Gus. The poor kid was nearly in hysterics he was so upset over Brian leaving.

"I'll see you soon sonny boy," Brian said, his voice thick with emotion and Justin's heart ached. It wasn't fair for either of them and Justin felt irrational anger towards Melanie and Lindsay for taking Gus away. That wasn't fair either, but it was the only place Justin could direct his emotions.

"Gus," Brian, who was on his knees with Gus's tiny arms wrapped tightly around his neck, looked up at Lindsay for help.

"Gus, let daddy go," Lindsay pulled him back and with Brian's help they managed to untangle the strong arms of the little boy.

"I promise," Brian leaned down and placed a kiss on Gus's head, "I'll see you soon."

Justin waited, knowing the words were there, wanting to be spoken. He willed Brian to be strong enough and brave enough to say it.

Pressing his cheek to Gus's head while his hands ruffled the same brown hair that adorned his own head, Brian looked pained for a moment before he closed his eyes and whispered, "I love you sonny boy."

Without waiting for a response and without looking back, Brian picked up his carry on and headed towards the security line. Justin met the teary-eyes of Melanie, Lindsay, and Gus and with a warm smile he turned and followed Brian.