jade

soon i get in the house i crack again . am i crying this much?i look like a pregnat women.i look around to see if anyone is home of course if they care if i want to kill myself or some bitch wants to make me suffer until i die . this sounds like saw high school version.i look at my wrist to see the band-aid i pull that off and look again .still are here my old ones yeah i´m a fucked up person .when i was 13 i started to refuse that i was growing up and blaming everything on me so i started cutting to calm down .i always waited until i was in bed to cut me that way i will think about the pain and no about my misery that´s why i love some pain so much it calms me down.i still do it sometimes but i´m older now and i have to start acting like that . beck was the one who made me stop and he knows all the reasons why i started doing that but besides that he doesn´t know anything about me .i prefer that way everyone has the right to secrets right?i mean i think beck tells me everything he has problems too his parents used to fight a lot because of his choices but now that his dad sees that beck can be a famous actor is all supportive .hipocrisy i never stand that why people want to be something they are not?i rather being call emo,goth or freak that being something i´m not but in these days anyone gets that not even my freaking mother accepts me by what i am.

know i realise i´m standing in the middle of my living room rambling.i´m gonna take some pills to sleep or something who makes me forget this all week and go to bed .i serious can´t take this anymore i´m gonna have a panic attack if this doesn´t end soon.

me

with this jade get up stairs put some pj´s on and started drifting into the sleep land.

beck

i just waked up but i´m still tired i´m just gonna do something to get me sleeply. let´s make a resume of my week:

i stoped my ex-girlfriend who i love to death for killing herself

my current psycho girlfriend (this gave me chills down my spine) attacked my ex-girlfriend and let her to die alone

i haven´t talk with anyone besides jade and tori for the last 5 days

i can´t sleep a whole night because i only think in a way of puting tori in jail or kill her whatever sounds better and i can´t stop worrying about my ex-kind of-girlfriend sanity and i think i´m starting to lose my own.

i can only talk with my bests friends when the crazy is around

well is going pretty good so far .thank god tomorrow is saturday holly blessed weekend.

tori

so jade went home again and beck wasn´t anywhere to be found .you got to be kidding me did he seriously take her home again?but this time i didn´t do anything what happen?ha like i care.i need to talk with beck tomorrow i´m gonna land foot on his house (or r.v.) and not leaving until he talks with me if i live that means i went jade´s house hehe (evil smirk)

andré

some crazy stuff is happening i always was a calm person who cared for my friends why did i have to been put into this if i know this by now i will never get closer to tori in my fact i think i will runaway from her she has a twisted mind.i mean tones of people hates jade and anyone stabbed her .but i don´t think this is all about beck maybe has some mind problems i´m not jealous or anything hell NO!if i have my ex-girlfriend and my fake girlfriend in a fight because of me i would freak out thank god beck is the more calm of all of us and he seems to be trying to handle the craziness (inside the possible) well enough with this i´m gonna sleep.

cat

why *sniff* can´t i *sniff* talk with *sniff* jadey? huahuahua (ps i don´t know what to put to make her sound she is crying but she is) i think *sniff sniff* i hate tori! HA i have never *sniff* hate anyone *sniff sniff* in my life.i can´t *sniff sniff* even talk with robbie or andré or even beck *sniff*without being scared *sniffff*I WANT JADE BACK I DON´T MIND if IS SHE CUT ALL MY PINK CLOTHES EVERYTHING IS BETTER THAN THIS .

robbie

what is going on lately? ever since jade and beck broke up everyone is sad and tori looks like jade but freak version she is always making sarcastic answers and always staring at beck she looks like a fan girl or something is anoying because in jade we have always meet her like this and i know that her life wasn´t easy i really don´t know her story but i have heard that she has been trough some kind of problems and why did jade stopped hanging out with us?is not like i love her company but i think i actually miss her and cat is always sad without jade they are ou were really best friends well enough sad things c´mon rex let´s go sleep

rex

shut up you sissy!

i´m back!yeah i know i only said i was updating when i had 10 reviews but my love for writing talk louder and some words of encouragement .i don´t know if anyone reads this but if you do YOU ARE AWESOME!(also i´m writing this at 3:30 am so is better )i am happy today so i make you happy too .at least i hope i do... anyway review

see you soon