Pacifier.
Ch. 7
Bath-time Madness.
Summary: Oh no! A malfunction with the Mask of Time has turned Jaller, Hahli, Matoro, Kongu, Hewkii, and Nuparu into toddlers! And the Turaga have to take care of them all and find a way to change them back! What cute chaos will ensure!?
Non-canon verse, obviously. Although this takes place while everyone is still on Mata-nui.
HUMANIZED!Bionicle.
A/N~ Wow, VERY quick update! Where's my reward? XD
A/N 2~ Now edited!
ALSO! To Wolf girl 811!
Dude, I would love you for life if you did a comic for this! You got my consent! And if you get a page or two done, please link me!
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"Bwahahahaha! I can't believe you fainted! Hahahahaha!"
"I did not FAINT!"
"HAHAHAHAHA!
Nuju pinched his nose and groaned. He was seriously not in the mood now. Quite frankly, none of them were. They were tired, nearly scared out of their wits when they lost their Matoran, almost dropped a few bricks in their pants when they found said Matoran, with a Muaka no less, and now they were down to their last shreds of sanity. And possibly got a few years shaved off their lifespans from stress.
Matau, however, didn't seem affected at all…
"You should have seen your face!" Matau cackled.
"Shut up…" Nuju growled, unconsciously tightening his hold around the white Matoran sitting in his lap.
"Alright enough already. Let's just try and move on here." Vakama said tiredly.
"And do what?" Whenua asked.
Their answer came in the form of a low, but very loud, grumbling noise.
They directed their attention to the noise, which happened to be coming from Kongu. His stomach, to be precise. Kongu himself looked surprised that he made such a noise. He looked down at his belly with shocked eyes.
"Hungwy!" he said with a pout.
The other toddlers seemed to agree with him, and started making their own announcements of wanting food. Dume sighed.
"Great, they destroy my office, wreak havoc on my Coliseum, now they're going to eat me out of my own home." He grumbled.
"Dume, they're children. They can't help doing what they do." Nokama chided.
"What do we even feed them?" Onewa had to ask.
Looking at each other expectantly, they shrugged. Nokama looked down at the little ones.
"Why not ask them?" she suggested.
"Alright…" Dume looked at them all, "Brats, what do you want to eat?" (1)
"Soup!" (2)
"Fish sticks!"
"Mac an cheese!"
"Chicken!"
"Nachos!"
"Cake!"
Well that went over well. Six different answers, six Matoran, six different tastes. Oh joy.
"…well, you two better get cooking!" Matau chimed, referring to Nokama and Nuju.
"Do we look like caterers to you?" Nuju snapped.
He and Nokama were the best cooks in their Toa days. But now a days (or at least when Matoro was still a grown Matoran) he mostly relied on the Matoran for his meals. More or less because he often forgets to eat, and Matoro has to nag him like his mother to get him to take care of himself. (3)
"Maybe…?" Matau tried with a stupid grin.
"Not happening."
"Perhaps a compromise?" Nokama suggested.
Well, that could work. There were plenty of foods pretty much everyone, both adult and child, liked. It was just a matter of finding which one. Maybe pasta? (4)
"CAKE!" (5)
…pasta it is.
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Originally, when they got their Matoran back, they were going to bathe them.
However, due to the antics of their dinner…they were glad they saved it for last. Never in their lives had they seen such abolishing table manners from such little Matoran…
Well, from most of them anyways, mostly Hewkii and Kongu. The latter of the two seemed to prefer to wear his dinner as a hat (6), and Hewkii seemed to familiarize meatballs with actual balls and found it amusing to throw them at people.
Jaller seemed to revert back to his bully streak and was constantly trying to flick noodles at Hahli. The Ga-Matoran was not amused and somehow got her fork caught in one of her pigtails.
Nuparu, being the growing boy he was, finished his meal in a heartbeat, and was now using his inventive skills to combine a couple of forks to sneak extra from Matoro's plate (7). He was actually getting more on Matoro than on his own empty plate. Matoro was just irritated and trying to have a peaceful dinner.
"I take it back…" Onewa grunted.
"Take what back?" Vakama asked.
"That promise I made to my mother that I would have kids…"
"Oh…"
Well, no one could really blame him…
They weren't exactly trained in the ways of caring for children. They were former Toa! They were meant to fight, to defend, and to, as Matau has claimed, kick ass. Not babysit!
Ironic really. They could stand and face against Makuta Teridax, encasing him in a seal, transform into vicious beasts and nearly lose their sense of humanity, and finally give up their powers to save their people, but they couldn't do THIS.
Now, taking care of toddlers it seems, was mission impossible to them.
It was almost a very sad thought, but it was fact. Sad fact, but fact.
"Can't get any worse can it?" Matau asked. (8)
"Catch!"
Matau just HAD to jinx it, as a meatball, courtesy of Hewkii, made contact with Dume's left eye, thus knocking him out of commission and onto his back with an indignant cry. Matau burst out into hysterical laughter along with Onewa. (9)
Vakama rolled his eyes, ignoring their immature antics as Dume sprung up and proceeded to chase them around the kitchen with a frying pan. He looked over at Nokama, Whenua, and Nuju.
"What should we do now? We can't keep an eye out on them forever! Our villages will start to suspect something once they find us and our right hand Matoran missing." He said worriedly. The others frowned at this, unsure.
"Good question. I'd say leave them with Dume, but, well…" Whenua paused, not even wincing when the sound of the frying pan making contact with something wrung through the air, followed by a pained squeak from Matau, "I think that would be a form of child abuse."
"We can't take them with us either though. Anyone could find out, and the last thing we need is to explain why there is an infant in the facilities." Nokama said.
"So what? We just take shifts here?" Nuju asked with a raised brow.
"It would be the best option. We don't have much a choice in the matter…" Vakama said solemnly.
The other two frowned at this, but had to agree. As Vakama said, they didn't have much choice…
"Alright…we take shifts to take care of them and try to find what the hell has caused all this, and then what?" Nuju asked.
"Hopefully reverse it. Or erm…in this case, move it forward. (10)" Vakama said meekly as a battered Matau and Onewa reentered the kitchen.
"Vakama, you come with the most idiotic-OUCH!" Nuju yelped and jumped with a start, covering his rear and finding a fork of all things stuck to him there. Plucking it out with a wince, he turned to the table of 'innocent' looking infants and silently demanded an answer. (11)
"…" Kongu didn't say anything, instead choosing to point at a rather distracted Hewkii, who seemed to have found a deep fascination with his reflection in a spoon.
Matau snickered beside him.
"Hehe, can't hit children Nuju~" he sang. Nuju gave him a blank stare…
Then he stuck the fork into his arm and hit him upside the head.
"YOUCH! What the-!? What was that for!?" the green Turaga shouted indignantly.
"Like you said. I can't hit children. So I'll settle for the next best thing, moron." The icy Turaga drawled. Matau gave him his trademark kicked-puppy look. Nuju ignored him while Onewa snickered at them.
Dume finally calmed and groaned at the mess.
"Can we please get these hellions out of here so I can get some peace of mind and possibly some of my sanity back?" he snapped.
"Nope!" Kongu chirped, giggling merrily from under his spaghetti hat. Dume fixed him with a death glare. But unfortunately the toddler just giggled more and waved a spoon at him, unfazed.
"Calm down Dume. Best we can do now is get them all cleaned up, find something in the library to help us, and maybe, maybe, get some sleep ourselves." Vakama started.
A small pause ensured, filled with a few exhausted sighs and sour looks. Onewa looked up at the others.
"So…who's on bath duty?" he asked.
…
"…not it!"
"Not it!"
"Not it!"
That left just Dume, Nuju, Whenua, and Nokama. Dume fixed them with an unimpressed look and crossed his arms.
"I have work to do. You three are on your own." And quite quickly for someone his age, he sprinted out the door and to parts unknown.
A bit of a stare off ensured, as well as a quick scan of the kitchen mess. Someone had to clean this mess. Someone had to clean the kids. Kids or kitchen?
…really, it was a no brainer.
"Well, have fun!" Two kids were shoved into each of the three startled Turaga's arms by Matau, "Don't forget to get behind their ears!"
"And try not to drown them!" Onewa added with an innocent grin.
The two rather chipper Turaga wandered off for the supply closet to clean up, leaving Vakama with three rather annoyed Turaga. The guys gave him irritated looks, Nokama giving a more pleading look for help.
"…uh…" he eyed the kids and nearly blanched. He wasn't sure if it was his own mind playing tricks on him, but he was pretty sure they were giving him evil scheming looks. This followed by some rather odd, though frightening, mental images of him either tied up, hanging over a boiling vat, or stuffed in a closet and gagged. (12)
The kitchen was looking awfully welcoming now…
"…have fun!" And he flees for the door.
Somewhere, out in their little world, someone died of laughter at their predicament from the smoldering look the guys were giving the back wall in which Vakama vanished behind…
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Hewkii, it turned out (though unsurprisingly), didn't like water. Never as a grown Matoran, not even now. He couldn't swim, so that was a major factor to his dislike of the liquid. But also base instinct played a role in it. (13)
Po-Matoran simply weren't built for water life, so to speak. Generations had gone by in many families, with not a single one of the family ever learning to so much as float in an inner tube. Mud puddles became substitutes for the water based game of 'Marco Polo'.
And unfortunately, they were stuck with the screaming little hellion. Somehow he was managing to get them more wet than he was…
"Damn it Hewkii just…! Hold STILL! It's not going to bite you!" Whenua snapped, trying to get the writhing Matoran into the bath.
"NOOOOOO!" The little brunette cried, clinging rather pathetically to the side of the tub.
The others, consisting of Jaller and Kongu (the bath wasn't big enough to put them all in, so they had to take turns in small groups) who went into the bath without as much a fuss, seemed to find this funny as they watched Whenua try to get a grip on the Po-Matoran with slippery wet hands.
Nuju was standing off to the side near the counter, trying to get the bulk of the mess off of the other two (Matoro and Nuparu) before they had their turn. He was silently envying Nokama at the moment. She and Hahli got their own bathroom, claiming it was best the little Ga-Matoran wasn't exposed to so much boyish-ness.
He raised a silver brow as Hewkii once again managed to slip from Whenua's grasp and hid under the sink. Again.
"Your parenting skills are of the utmost impeccable." He said sarcastically.
"Oh like you would be any different! This job would be easy for you with your damn mask!" Whenua snapped.
"True, but you lost the game, so mask power or not, we had a deal. You were just too stupid to realize this before it was too late."
The game he referred to was a three round game of 'knife, paper, stone'. (14) Whenua seemed to find it appropriate to keep using stone until he got it right. He lost two out of three rounds.
"I hate you…" Whenua grit out, trying to yank out the hiding Po-Matoran.
"The feeling is mutual, I can assure you. Now quit fooling around and get him in the tub already."
"You think I'm not trying to-OW!" Whenua fell back onto his rear, clutching his hand with a shocked expression on his face.
"What?" Nuju asked in a bored manner.
"H-he BIT me! The little brat bit me!" Nuju blinked. (15)
"Did he? Well, I'm impressed." He said. Whenua was livid now.
"You little-!" Whenua dove under the sink to try and restrain the struggling toddler, "I swear Hewkii, if you don't come out right now, I'm drowning you!"
"Whenua…" Nuju started.
"What!?"
"Kongu escaped."
"…"
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"You think the others are doing alright?" Onewa asked.
"Pft, are you joke-kidding? If they haven't by then drowned the kids, those kids will drown them!"
"Still, I somewhat feel bad…"
"Bad enough to go help them?"
"I said I felt bad, not suicidal."
Vakama sighed and shrugged, turning back to trying to scrape a blob of pasta from the ceiling of all places. He was actually quite impressed really.
He still felt a bit guilty for leaving the other three to their untimely demise. Nokama would no doubt be a bit bitter towards him for a while, much to his dismay. He was silently wondering just what Dume was up to right now…
'Probably plotting some means of sending the little ones to another island…' He thought. He sighed.
A sudden thudding noise, followed by a loud curse and splashing noise, made them all pause in their cleaning. They looked at each other and frowned.
"What was-?"
"Wind-fwy! Wind-fwy! Shit! Hahahaha! Hoo-hoo!"
Before Onewa could even ask, their answer came sprinting down the hallway in the form of a bubble covered Kongu, followed by an equally nude Hewkii and Jaller, the latter of which was wearing a towel as a cape. A very confused looking Matoro was sitting on said 'cape' and being dragged along, Nuparu following close behind and reaching for him like a cat chasing a string. (16)
And as fast (and randomly) as they had appeared, they vanished down the hall in a flurry of bubbles and giggles.
A somewhat awkward, if not confused, pause ensured. A moment later, Nokama peaked in with a now clean Hahli bundled in a towel and looking ready for bed.
"…did I just see the boys-?"
"Yes."
"…alight then."
They had a bit of another pause before they ultimately decided that it would make sense to check up on Nuju and Whenua to find out what happened instead of standing there like a bunch of idiots.
They went up to the bathroom where the two Turaga were supposed to be bathing the kids. But apparently, the roles reversed in this case.
They found Whenua and Nuju tangled up in the shower drapes, in the tub with the utmost murderous looks they'd ever seen. Predictably, Matau was starting to crack up.
"DON'T. Say. Anything." Nuju growled.
"I didn't speak-say anything…not a thing…!" Matau gave up the charade and burst out laughing, clutching his stomach in mirth as he doubled over.
"Erm…have fun?" Vakama tried. He yelped and ducked as a soap bar was chucked his way.
"Will you shut up and get us out of here!?" Whenua snapped. The tub was slippery and he and Nuju were too tangled in the curtain, and each other, to get out without help.
"Oh for the love of…" Nuju activated his mask, yanking the curtain out from around them, then, quite literally, kicked Whenua off of himself before lifting himself out of the tub and onto his feet.
"Ugh, where are the kids now?" he grunted, trying to wring the soapy water out of his clothes.
Their answer came in the form of a very loud, very angry, shout from somewhere in the north wing.
"WHAT THE HELL!? GET OUT OF MY FUCKING OFFICE!"
"FOCK!"
A nervous tension passed between the six Turaga, all too familiar with the angry tone by now. Whenua looked over at Vakama, Onewa, and Matau.
"For-fricken-get it. YOU three get the brats. I'm getting a stiff drink." He promptly marched out of the bathroom.
"What!? Why would we-?"
Onewa froze at the absolute death glare he received from Nuju. No one, not even Onewa, was capable of saying no to THAT expression. Not possible.
He looked to Nokama for help, his expression pleading with the blue Turaga to help him. Nuju never could say no to her after all.
"Sorry Onewa, but it seems Hahli needs to be put down to sleep now. Have fun." She left as well, barely concealing her smug smirk at their stunned expressions.
"VAKAMA! GET YOUR ASS UP HERE AND GET THESE BRATS OUT OF MY OFFICE BEFORE I KILL THEM!"
"AZZ!"
Seeing as they weren't going to be shown any mercy, the three Turaga sighed in defeat, and proceeded to make the journey into the 'lion's den'.
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It was finally, finally, the end of the day.
But even so, none of the Turaga dared to let out a relived sigh just yet for fear of jinxing it. They pretty much all walked on eggshells as they redressed their Matoran and prepared to put them to bed.
Luckily the Coliseum was such a large place with numerous rooms. One of them served very well for their infants, holding two large, low to the ground beds. They also made sure it was close enough to their own rooms to hear if they got up and tried to escape. The Turaga were apparently too exhausted to make the journey back home that night, and settled for staying overnight until morning to see who would take first shift.
And as exhausted as they were, they were very thankful the little Matoran seemed to be just as tired.
And once they were put to bed, and making sure that Kongu wasn't faking or hiding anything under his pillow (17), the Turaga quietly crept out of the bedroom, making sure to carefully shut the door, and tiptoed to their room.
They didn't risk relaxing until they were sure the infants wouldn't hear them. Once they were put down to bed, and they themselves were safely in their room, they collapsed in random areas of the room with tired sighs.
"I can't do this…" Matau whined, sprawled over an arm chair.
"Gee, I couldn't tell." Onewa grumbled.
"Ugh, shut up all of you. I'm too tired to deal with you…" Vakama groaned.
A collective groan was his response, and he chose to ignore it. They were all too tired to even so much as twitch a finger. In fact, they had been so preoccupied with the kids, they didn't even get a chance to get down to the library and find any helpful information. And they certainly were in no condition to do so now.
"Let's just…go to sleep and figure this out in the morning." Vakama muttered, shifting onto his side on his bed. No one needed to even answer an agreement to the plan. They didn't even bother turning out the light, instead deciding to drop off in a comatose state.
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About an hour or so passed after the Turaga dropped off to sleep. It was also when, during the night, the door to their room shakily opened by the hand of a tiny red-head Matoran standing on the tips of his toes to reach the handle. Looking around inside and finding their caretakers, he waved back to the door and was soon joined by five other little Matoran.
Excited chirps and cooing followed before Jaller put a finger to his mouth and shushed them. They couldn't wake them!
Calming and hushing, the Matoran broke up and scattered around the room, looking for their respective Turaga. It didn't take them long, and without even so much as stirring the knocked out adults, climbed up into their arms and snuggled into an arm or side. (18)
Not too long passed before they too fell asleep.
To be continued…
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Swoot! New chapter! Much longer than the others, so I'm quite happy. Lol
1)- This is Dume's nickname for them all. He's so mean XD
2)- lol bet you can't tell who said what. HOMG THERE'S A CHALLENGE!
Try and guess who said what in the specific order in which it was said, and get a giant cookie! 8DD
3)- lol Nuju's got a nanny. Oh role reversal much? XD
4)- I cannot think of a single person who doesn't like some form of pasta. It's a universal dish people! Gotta love the Italian!
5)- It should be obvious who's saying this lol
6)- No matter the food, it's hilarious and adorable when kids wear their breakfast/lunch/dinner as a hat.
7)- Well, he is a growing boy after all. Miners gotta grow up big and strong! XD
8)- VERY bad thing to ask in a situation like this.
9)- Dume got meat-balled XDD
10)- Du-du-dund, teesh!
11)- Silly fork in the butt is silly XD
12)- this is actually a very thinkable thought.
13)- Pretty obvious really, but yeah, I am pretty damn sure Po-Matoran aren't exactly too keen on water.
14)- A bionicle-verse version of 'rock, paper, scissors' in case you were wondering.
15)- lol Whenua got bit XDD
16)- I can guarantee, you will grin and or giggle at this mental image.
17)- babysitting Kongu 101. Rule #25, always check for objects and/or devises that may be in his possession when asleep or alone for long periods of time. Hell will happen if you neglect this.
18)- So CUUUUUUUUUTE~!
REVIEW PLEASE!