Chapter 7
It wasn't until 9 o'clock that night that Harmony came back to the hotel. I was sitting on the large, cream-colored couch, watching "Wipeout", while Mrs. Bloemer busied herself in the kitchen, when Harmony rushed in through the door.
"Where have you been?" Mrs. Bloemer asked curiously, not in the slightest bit worried.
"I was hanging out with the guys," she answered quickly, walking into the kitchen.
I rolled my eyes, and shook my head, smiling, although I was extremely- annoyed wasn't the word, but I couldn't really explain it- with this secret. Sitting in the living room, I heard soft, excited murmurs from the kitchen, and tried to tune them out with the hilarious comments by the two John's.
Almost half an hour later, Harmony walked out of the kitchen, a secretive grin on her face.
"Am I ever going to find out what this huge secret is?" I demanded, and she smiled, winking. I rolled my eyes and followed her into the bedroom we shared.
Methodically, I changed into my PJ's, putting my right arm through the sleeve, then maneuvering my left arm through the fabric with the help of my right.
"So what did you and Logan do all day?" Harmony asked, smiling, as we climbed into our adjoining beds.
I paled a bit, reminded that I should hate myself, and replied quietly, "I told him everything; well, not about Hawk, but about Casey, and my mom, and Jason. And then he sang me a song that Big Time Rush are using, but haven't told Gustavo about it yet."
"You don't mean- oh Gosh, that's what we have to give Hawk, isn't it?" Harmony asked, horrified.
"Yes… no… I don't know," I rambled confusedly, "I don't know if I can do this, Harmony! I mean, Logan's so sweet, and he's getting over a breakup; I'd ruin his life if I ruined his band too! But you're my best friend, and I can't risk what Hawk would do if we don't!" I cried softly, not wanting Mrs. Bloemer to hear our conversation.
"Maybe we don't, then," she mumbled quietly.
"What?" I screeched, and blushed, lowering my voice, "What are you talking about?"
"You know that coming here with Hawk was a mistake, but coming to Hollywood, and meeting Big Time Rush wasn't. Maybe we were supposed to come here, but for a different reason; maybe we're supposed to protect Big Time Rush from Hawk," she whispered.
"But Harmony, you know what he'll do if we don't give him what he wants," I said dejectedly, and she nodded.
"I know, Lina, but this isn't worth it anymore. I like James too much, and you like Logan too much; we have to protect them," she replied determinedly.
I smiled and nodded in agreement; if Harmony was going to protect them, there was no use in obeying Hawk; I was only going to do it to protect her.
We talked for a bit after that; I told her about how I was completely falling for Logan, while she gushed about how she was completely falling for James; just another one of the hundreds of things we did together. It wasn't until that neither one of us could keep our eyes open any longer that we fell asleep, and I dreamt peacefully about Logan: his warm eyes, sweet smile, and amazing voice.
The next morning, I woke up extremely early: about 5 o'clock, wanting to sing. Creeping out of my bed, I put on my slippers and walked out the door, still dressed in my "I 3 Paris" pajamas. From the first day at the Palmwoods, I knew where the piano was; the instrument wasn't just a pretty piece of wood to me, it was a part of who I was. It was impossible for me to not know where the piano was in any place I went to. I knew it was hopeless and soon to be a disappointment when I slid onto the smooth bench, but I couldn't help myself. Slowly, hesitantly, I lifted my left hand with my right, and placed my cold fingers on the keys, nearly sobbing when my suspicions were confirmed: I couldn't feel the ivory surface; didn't have that overwhelming sense of calm I used to get just by touching the keys. Instead, there was nothing but grief.
"Pull yourself together," I muttered, annoyed, to myself. There was nothing I could do about my arm anymore, so there was no use crying over it; I could still sing; I still would sing.
Settling on playing the few complicated chords I knew how to play on my right hand, I began to sing softly, the melody of my new song dancing through the air.
You brushed my hair out of my face,
And you bent down for a kiss,
You'd say I was the most beautiful girl in the world,
But did you really mean it?
Now I don't need you to say I'm pretty,
Or make me laugh when I fail,
With every tear that falls, it hurts even more,
So I'm letting go of you
I don't need you to hold my hand
Every step of the way
With every smile you flashed at me
I sunk even more
But I'm gonna float back to the surface
Don't need your anchor weighing me down
As I sang those lines, a single memory of Jason and I floated through my mind. I remembered Jason as a child: his dimpled cheeks and sparkling light brown eyes smiling at me in elementary school when I cried the first day back after my brother's death.
Now I don't need you to say I'm pretty,
Or make me laugh when I fail,
With every tear that falls, it hurts even more,
So I'm letting go of you
I'm gonna find that guy
Who will whisper softly in my ear
Je pense que je t'aime
Who will chase me through the airport
Before I get on that plane
I don't need you to say I'm pretty
Or make me laugh when I fail
The tears are slowing, I'm leaving you behind
I've let go of you
I didn't realize I was crying until a warm hand wiped a tear away from my cheek.
"That was about Jason, wasn't it?" Logan asked quietly, taking my thin, delicate hand into his.
I nodded slowly, and leaned into his shoulder, breathing deep, calming breaths as I relaxed into his side.
"Do you still love him?" he asked softly, resting his cheek on my head.
"I don't know," I admitted honestly, a tear slipping down to my chin.
He nodded in understanding, and brushed my cheek sadly.
"Do you still love River?" I reversed the question, and his breath caught for a moment.
"I don't know," he answered also, sighing heavily.
This whole situation was messy; I was turning into Logan's rebound, while he slowly turned into mine. I wondered dejectedly if what I was beginning to feel for him was just my way of getting over Jason, and if I was his way of getting over River.
"You have an amazing voice," he whispered quietly, as if simply stating a fact.
I blushed and nodded in thanks, at a loss for words.
"I need to take you somewhere," he whispered, subtle excitement in his tone. He took my hand and guided me, still dressed in my pajamas, out the door, and into the rising sun.
"Where are we going?" I laughed, as he guided me into Big Time Rush's car, and we sped throughout L.A.
He simply stayed quiet, a small smile tugging at his lips, until we pulled in front of our destination: Rocque Records.
My heart stopped for a moment, until I realized I wasn't going to be working for Hawk anymore, so what could it hurt?
"You can't be serious," I laughed, and he shrugged, leading me into the past-band decorated hallway that ended at Gustavo's office.
"Gustavo, I, well, Evangeline, have something to show you," he announced, keeping my shaky hand clasped firmly in his.
"And what is that?" he asked groggily, sitting behind his desk with sunglasses that covered his most likely puffy eyes.
"You have to hear her sing," Logan demanded, and Gustavo raised his brow.
"Just one chance," he begged and Gustavo rolled his eyes and gave in, letting us into the recording booth.
Hey guys! Sorry I haven't been uploading as much lately; I've been working on tying up some loose ends on the book I'm writing, and working on getting published with my best friend, Sabrina. All comments, reviews, and tips are appreciated! I do not own Big Time Rush, or any of their songs; the first song in this book is one I wrote, the second non-Big Time Rush song was written by Sabrina