EPISODE 7
DAY 17 – HEROES
[Heroes return from Tribal Council]
Lucina: I don't know about you guys, but I'm sick of that place. We are going to win the next Immunity Challenge if it kills us!
Palutena: Glad you still have that fighting spirit in you. We need those vibes right now.
Villager: Last night's decision wasn't easy, but Pikachu and I finally decided it was best that we let Palutena stay. There's a good chance we'll be outnumbered at the merge, so we'll need to take advantage of her idol. I realize that if she had gone, there's a good chance that the idol would be re-hidden and one of us would find it. But we didn't want to take that risk. And we also didn't want to risk taking Donkey Kong into the merge with us. We trust Palutena a lot more.
Villager: Do you think there's any chance we'll merge after tomorrow's duel? And that the winner of that duel will return to the game?
Lucina: It's definitely possible. We just saw them merge at thirteen in Survivor: Cambodia.
Palutena: If that happens, we'd best hope that the winner of tomorrow's duel will forgive us for voting him out.
DAY 18 – REDEMPTION ISLAND
MC Ballyhoo: Come on in, guys! HA HA HA!
[Villains enter arena and sit down]
MC Ballyhoo: [as Heroes enter] Villains getting your first look at the new Heroes tribe, Donkey Kong voted out at the last Tribal Council.
[A few Villains exchange glances and give approving nods]
MC Ballyhoo: We will now bring in the competitors in today's duel, Mario and Donkey Kong.
[Mario and Donkey Kong enter the arena]
[Bowser growls]
MC Ballyhoo: So, Mario, I think it's safe to say that you two have historically had sort of a rocky relationship.
Mario: That would-a be-a putting it-a lightly. But we are-a more like-a friendly rivals now-a.
MC Ballyhoo: I see. Do you see it the same way, Donkey Kong?
Donkey Kong: Yeah. We realized that we have a lot of similar values. There was just some misunderstanding with Pauline because she's a very confused woman. But that doesn't mean I'll be taking it easy on Mario today.
MC Ballyhoo: Then this will be an interesting match! Now, you may be wondering why the arena is completely empty right now. Well, for today's duel, you'll be doing something a little different. Come on in, guys!
[A troop of Ukikis emerge from the woods and enter the arena]
Mario: Mamma mia!
Donkey Kong: What in the…?
MC Ballyhoo: That's right. Today's duel will be fairly straightforward. A dozen Ukikis are going to chase you guys around the arena and try to pin you down. You may not step outside the boundaries of the arena. We have specifically selected those monkeys that do not have a favorite. They will try to get whoever they can. Though they might be more likely to leave you alone if you make it clear that you're not someone to be messed with!
[Mario swallows a Fire Flower while Donkey Kong tightens his tie]
MC Ballyhoo: Get pinned down for five seconds and the duel is over. Your Survivor journey will come to its end. All right, let's get started!
MC Ballyhoo: Survivors ready… GO!
[Ukikis charge at Mario and Donkey Kong]
Donkey Kong: Go where, exactly?! AHHHHHHH! [runs away, half the Ukikis chase him]
[Bowser and King Dedede start laughing hysterically]
Mario: Oh no! [the other Ukikis charge towards Mario] Well, take-a this!
MC Ballyhoo: Mario is shooting fireballs at the Ukikis! He's already given major burns to two of them!
Palutena: Oh my goodness!
MC Ballyhoo: Don't worry, kids. We're Nintendo characters. None of these injuries will last long.
Donkey Kong: Come on guys, don't you want to help out your fellow primate? I'm running out of steam here!
[Pikachu and Villager try hard not to smile]
MC Ballyhoo: While Mario is fighting, Donkey Kong is simply running in circles around the arena while six monkeys follow. Careful not to step out of bounds!
Mario: Mamma!
MC Ballyhoo: One of the Ukikis snuck up behind Mario while he was shooting fireballs and tripped him! The monkeys are now piling on top of him!
[Bowser falls out of his seat laughing]
MC Ballyhoo: Meanwhile, it looks like the Ukikis chasing Donkey Kong formed two groups and have now managed to corner him! Both castaways appear to be in trouble.
[Mario manages to lift up one his hands just high enough to shoot a fireball out of it]
MC Ballyhoo: WHOA! Mario hits one of the Ukikis square in the face with a fireball! His arm is now completely free, and he's shooting fireballs at the other five Ukikis that are trying to keep him down! He looks like he's breaking free!
Donkey Kong: BANANA SLAMMA! [pounds ground]
MC Ballyhoo: And Donkey Kong manages to knock all of the monkeys chasing him to the ground! He hops over them and charges towards the center of the arena! Meanwhile, Mario is trying to shake off one last Ukiki that's clinging to his leg!
[The Ukiki bites Mario's leg hard]
Mario: Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow! [loses Fire Mario status]
MC Ballyhoo: WHOA! By giving Mario a good enough injury, the Ukiki has caused him to lose his fire abilities! Fortunately for him, the other monkeys that were after him are still trying to get back on their feet after getting roasted!
Donkey Kong: [picks up three of the injured Ukikis off the ground] Come on, guys! Go get him!
[The monkeys look very angry and attack Donkey Kong instead]
Donkey Kong: Not me, you idiots! [quickly unties his tie]
MC Ballyhoo: Three burned Ukikis have climbed onto Donkey Kong, and it appears that he is trying to fight them off by using his tie as some sort of whip! It doesn't appear to be working! Meanwhile, Mario's still trying to fight off one!
Mario: My aching leg-a! Please-a have-a mercy on-a me, my-a simian friend-a!
MC Ballyhoo: The Ukiki doesn't seem to be listening!
[Mario manages to punch the Ukiki in the face]
[Lucina starts to laugh]
Lucina: I know I sometimes seem heartless when I laugh at violent jokes, and it probably looks even worse when I laugh at real creatures getting injured. But sometimes when a punch like that comes out of nowhere, it's just hard to resist! In my defense, though, I'm aware that everyone will be fine when this duel is over.
MC Ballyhoo: Mario has finally broken free while the monkeys that were knocked over by Donkey Kong are pulling each other back up! All six of them are now charging after Donkey Kong!
Donkey Kong: This… is… so unfair! [gets knocked to ground]
MC Ballyhoo: Donkey Kong is squirming all over the place as nine Ukikis attempt to pin him down. The Ukiki that was after Mario has come to his senses and has rushed over to join them! The other two monkeys don't look like they're getting back up. Medical!
[A team of Toads remove the two heavily burned Ukikis from the arena in stretchers]
Donkey Kong: Well done, Mario. [collapses]
Bowser: NO! This can't be happening!
MC Ballyhoo: Donkey Kong has stopped squirming and the Ukikis have him fully pinned down! 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… and it's over! MARIO WINS THE DUEL AND WILL STAY AT REDEMPTION ISLAND!
Mario: Oh-a yeah! I'm a superstar!
[Bowser begins to cry]
Palutena: Congratulations, Mario! That was good karma in action!
MC Ballyhoo: Ukikis, it's time to get off of Donkey Kong.
[The Ukikis climb off of him and visit their buddies in the medical tent]
MC Ballyhoo: Are you all right?
Donkey Kong: Yeah, it only hurt my pride.
[Mario stretches out his hand and pulls Donkey Kong up]
MC Ballyhoo: I must say that I don't think we had anticipated how ugly this turned out thanks to Mario's fireballs. I anticipate lawsuits. It is very unlikely that we will do another challenge like this in the future. But don't worry, we've got plenty of Burn Heals. Those Ukikis will be fine. So, Donkey Kong, what happened out there?
Donkey Kong: I took some Ukikis that weren't in great shape and tried to get them to go after Mario. It was a careless move that came out of adrenaline and not thinking straight in the spur of the moment. They were understandably upset with my insensitivity and went after me instead. Like Palutena said, it came down to karma.
MC Ballyhoo: So are you saying that you got what you deserved?
Donkey Kong: Um… yeah… I guess so.
MC Ballyhoo: Well, it's been a pleasure to have you here, Donkey Kong, but I have to send you on your way. Drop your buff in the fire on the way out.
[Donkey Kong tosses his buff in the fire and turns to the Heroes]
Donkey Kong: No hard feelings, ladies. I still want you to beat the Villains.
Palutena: Thanks, Donkey Kong.
[Donkey Kong leaves the arena]
Donkey Kong: Well, it was a great experience. I might have lost my cool a couple times with Kirby and with the Ukikis, but I still feel like I retained my title as a hero. And I've still got my trademark tie. Anyway, I hope Mario can somehow win this whole thing. He's a worthy rival.
MC Ballyhoo: Bowser, what's going on?
Bowser: It's just… [sniff]… so frustrating!
MC Ballyhoo: You mean Mario winning?
[Bowser covers his face with his hands and nods]
[Mario rolls his eyes]
Mario: See-a what I have-a to deal-a with? Mamma mia!
MC Ballyhoo: Well, it looks like you won't be getting any congratulations from Boswer, but you have it from me. Good job on your third win in a row, Mario. Head on back to your campsite.
Mario: [nods] Thank-a you.
Lucina: So the merge didn't happen. Though it's not like I really expected it to. Our little band of five needs to pull together to win the next Immunity Challenge. I'm not going back to Tribal Council.
DAY 18 – VILLAINS
[Villains return to camp and Bowser lies down in the shelter]
Bowser: Mario wins! Mario wins again! Oh look, Mario wins three in a row! This is how it's been my entire life. Everything goes the way of the golden boy, Mario. He's got the charisma, the dexterity, the nimbleness… and of course those mean he gets the beautiful princess. If Peach could just look past my frightening demeanor and see me for who I am…
Viridi: Then she'd see the creep that's kidnapped and locked her up repeatedly. News flash, Bowser. That's not a good way to get women to like you. Unless that woman is Pauline, I suppose.
Bowser: Can't you be a little more sensitive to the pain I'm in right now?
Mewtwo: Cry me a river, build a bridge, and get over it. Seriously, we get it, you're jealous of Mario. But there's no chance that he'll win this game.
Bowser: You're just saying that.
Mewtwo: If you'd quit whining and think for a second, you'd recognize the situation he's in right now. We're going to win the next Immunity Challenge. One of the Heroes will get sent to Redemption Island. Even if Mario wins and MC Ballyhoo tells us that we're merging, and that he's back in the game, he'd still be outnumbered. We'd have the seven of us against five Heroes. We'd probably send him straight back to Redemption Island the first chance we got.
Bowser: R-really? Okay then. But what if we don't win the next Immunity Challenge?
Ganondorf: Then one of us will have to beat Mario at Redemption Island to keep our numbers up. Otherwise, we'd merge with six Heroes and six Villains.
Bowser: SEND ME TO DEFEAT HIM!
Ganondorf: Relax. We won't worry about that yet. Let's focus our energy on winning.
Ganondorf: Should we lose, the plan is still to vote out King Dedede. But Bowser is so unbearable that I'd be tempted to grant him his wish. It might be fun to watch Mario destroy him for the hundredth time, even though it would be bad news for the rest of us Villains.
DAY 19 – HEROES
Villager: We've got a lot of free time on our hands out here, so we decided to mix things up today with a game of soccer. We saved one of the durians that the Pianta gave us and used it as the ball. It was a great way to pass the time.
Lucina: Too bad we've got an odd number. How will we make the teams work?
Kirby: Aye-ay-aye!
Villager: Kirby says he'll be the referee.
Palutena: Sounds good. So how about Lucina and me against you two?
Villager: Works for me. Let's get 'em, Pikachu!
Pikachu: Pika!
Lucina: Won't this be difficult with teams of two, though? We'll need one goalie on each side which means only one on offense.
Villager: We can do without goalies. Let's just make the goals narrower so it's not too easy to score.
[Villager redraws the lines in the sand]
Lucina: Fine by me. Start us off, Kirby.
[Kirby grabs the durian as the two teams take their sides. He throws it into the center of their makeshift court]
Lucina: Got it!
[Lucina kicks the "ball" over Pikachu's head towards Palutena]
[Palutena gets the ball in her possession and makes her way towards the goal. Villager gets in her way.]
Palutena: Lucina! [kicks it towards her]
[Lucina gets the durian and kicks it towards the goal]
Lucina: Score! That's a point for us!
Villager: I'm not so sure about that. Look at the trail in the sand. It went right over the line at the edge of the goal. But enough of the durian was outside the line that I don't think it should count.
Palutena: I guess that's up to our referee to decide. What do you think, Kirby?
[Kirby looks very nervous as everyone turns to look at him]
Palutena: Poor Kirby had to make a choice that I'm afraid might reflect how the vote will turn out if we're sent to Tribal Council again. We had our two "sub-alliances" on opposite teams, and the swing vote ended up as the referee. Kirby ultimately decided that that first goal didn't count. Was that a fair call, or does it show that he wants to join their alliance?
DAY 19 – VILLAINS
Bowser: So I was just kind of chilling in the shelter and trying to avoid work, and then it hit me: I've still got this idol clue to look at! So I pulled it out and got confused very quickly. I realized I needed Viridi's help.
Bowser: Uh, hey, Viridi, can I talk to you for a second?
Viridi: Oh… sure, I guess.
Viridi: I was thinking, "Wait a second, is Bowser about to talk strategy with me?"
Bowser: We should probably talk somewhere more private than this shelter.
Viridi: Okay.
Viridi: Wow. He really is. That's a first.
[Bowser and Viridi walk along the beach]
Bowser: So that cup I won from the Mario Kart race had an idol clue in it.
Viridi: [raises eyebrows] Awesome. Good job keeping it a secret.
Bowser: I know, right? I wanted to scream out and brag to everyone that Bowser found an idol clue! Gwa ha ha! But I worked really hard to control myself.
Viridi: I guess when you're Bowser, just keeping your mouth shut at the right time is an impressive feat.
Viridi: So what does it say?
Bowser: Well, that's the part I'm confused about. The King of the Koopas has enough servants to handle all the reading for him.
Viridi: [sighs] Let me see it.
[Bowser hands Viridi the clue and she reads it to herself]
Viridi: Well, it looks like this is the polar opposite of the clue I've got. While that one was so vague it was worthless, this clue tells us exactly where the idol is!
Bowser: Really? I mean, of course it's a good clue! Bowser's the one who found it!
Viridi: Comments like that don't even annoy me anymore. I've just basically accepted that Bowser lives in his own universe, and there's no need to bother trying to talk sense into him.
Viridi: They even drew us a map. It's at the base of this tree. You have to remove a rock and then dig where the rock was. It's about a foot underground. Wow. That's much deeper than I would have expected. No wonder we've had so much trouble finding it. I'll bet Mewtwo and Ganondorf haven't found it yet, either.
Bowser: Well come on, then, let's go find the idol! GWA HA HA!
Viridi: Keep your voice down! So much for doing a good job of keeping it a secret.
Bowser: RAWR! How much deeper do we have to dig?
Viridi: You say that like we've been digging for hours. Relax, this shouldn't take too long.
Bowser: I don't like getting dirt under my fingernails!
Viridi: Fine. You don't have to dig anymore. I'll finish the job myself.
Bowser: All right! I'm going back to sleep!
[Bowser runs to the shelter]
Viridi: Well, I guess that means this idol is mine! Shouldn't be much deeper… ah, here we go.
[Viridi digs a little more and pulls the idol out of the ground]
Viridi: Really? A 1-up mushroom? Oh well. I've got some safety now. Maybe we can use this to vote out Ganondorf or Mewtwo.
MC Ballyhoo: Come on in, guys! HA HA HA!
[Heroes and Villains enter the challenge area and see two piles of coconuts and two large nets attached to levers]
MC Ballyhoo: Welcome to your seventh Immunity Challenge. You've been out here for 20 days now. You've lost a lot of the energy you had when you first got here. We'll see what impact this starts to have on your performance. For today's challenge, one member of each tribe will hold onto a rope attached to a lever that suspends a large net in the air. Members of the opposite tribe will try to shoot coconuts into their net, giving them more weight to hold up in the air. All shots must be made from behind this line, and yes, we have technologically advanced ways of telling at exactly what point you've flown or levitated past the line, which is not allowed. This will continue until someone lets go of their rope and drops their net. The tribe that holds on the longest will win Immunity. Losers will be headed to Tribal Council tonight, where one of you will be sent to join Mario at Redemption Island.
Bowser: Grrrr… Mario…
Ganondorf: Cool it, Bowser.
MC Ballyhoo: You will also be playing for Reward, and I won't bother asking if it's worth playing for.
Viridi: Thank goodness.
MC Ballyhoo: The winning tribe will five large pizzas delivered directly to their camp, along with five two-liter bottles of soda!
[The Heroes get excited while the Villains pretend they're not excited]
MC Ballyhoo: Now, I need you each tribe to select one superstar to hold your net up.
Palutena: That'll be you, Lucina.
Lucina: You sure? Okay, I'll do it.
MC Ballyhoo: So it's Lucina for the Heroes. Villains?
[Villains huddle]
Ganondorf: I take it you'd like to do the honors, Mewtwo?
Mewtwo: Actually, I'm afraid that using my psychic abilities to hold up the net might be too risky. If I got hit by a coconut, I'd likely lose my focus and drop it. That's not how we want to go down.
Ganondorf: [nods] Good point.
Walhart: If I may, I'd like to point out that they don't call me Walhart the Conqueror for nothing.
Viridi: I'm pretty sure you made up that name yourself.
Ganondorf: Probably, but you can't deny that he's powerful. All right, Walhart, show us that you've earned your title.
MC Ballyhoo: So who's it gonna be?
[Walhart raises his hand]
MC Ballyhoo: WHOA! So it's a battle of the Fire Emblem characters! Now, Villains, you have to sit two people out. You cannot sit out the same people in back to back challenges, so King Dedede must participate.
Mewtwo: We're going to sit out Viridi and Bowser.
Bowser: WHAT?! [breathes fire]
Ganondorf: It's too dangerous to let you participate. You're not focused on winning this challenge. You care too much about getting sent to Redemption Island to defeat Mario, which would require us losing.
Bowser: Crud. He saw right through me.
MC Ballyhoo: All right, let's get started.
MC Ballyhoo: Survivors ready… GO!
[Lucina and Walhart get themselves in comfortable positions while the other start firing shots]
MC Ballyhoo: Sure enough, Mewtwo and Palutena are already beginning their tricks. In the blink of an eye, Palutena has already used her staff to warp four coconuts straight into the Villains' net! But now she has to wait for it to recharge. Meanwhile, Ganondorf has made a shot and Mewtwo is levitating a coconut towards the Heroes' net. It appears to be a slow, but very efficient method. And he drops it in!
[Ridley grabs several coconuts in his talons and flies a little ways above the nets]
MC Ballyhoo: WHOA! Ridley's in the air and he's firing several coconuts at once! That could help the Villains a lot, but he'll have to be extra careful not to cross the line. It's easier to make that mistake in the air. Ganondorf and Villager are on fire, nailing one shot after another!
[Kirby is standing just behind the line. He turns and faces the pile of coconuts, then inhales very strongly.]
MC Ballyhoo: What's this? Kirby has swallowed maybe seven or eight coconuts all the way from the line! He is now shooting them from his mouth one at a time… and a few of them land in the Villains' net! Amazing! So fun to see the ways is which these Nintendo characters use their unique abilities to their advantage!
[Pikachu finally reaches the line with a coconut and attempts to shoot it. It doesn't go nearly as high as it needs to.]
MC Ballyhoo: NOOOOOOO… looks like Pikachu's having a hard time shooting coconuts that are just as big as he is! King Dedede looks like he's having issues as well, as he has yet to successfully land a shot!
Palutena: Pikachu! I have an idea! [whispers something in his ear]
MC Ballyhoo: What's Palutena telling Pikachu? I guess we'll wait and see! Lucina and Walhart are both showing their first signs of fatigue! Ridley's back up in the air with several more coconuts… NOOOOOOO! Ridley, our super advanced technology has detected that your left wing briefly crossed over the line! If it happens again, we have to pull you out of the challenge!
Ridley: [looks at MC Ballyhoo] HYYYYAAAAARRRRGHHHH!
MC Ballyhoo: These are the rules! Don't complain to me! Anyway, Mewtwo's still levitating one coconut at a time very slowly towards the Heroes' net. But WHOA! Pikachu just threw a coconut at Mewtwo! It hit him, causing him to lose focus. The coconut he was levitating crashed to the ground!
Mewtwo: NO WAY! That can't be allowed!
MC Ballyhoo: I'm sorry, Mewtwo, but there's no rule against it as long as you don't cross into the other tribe's lane! It appears that this is how Pikachu will keep himself useful when he knows he can't reach the net!
Pikachu: Pika pika! [smiles]
MC Ballyhoo: It appears that Palutena's staff is at least partially recharged. She warps one… two… just two coconuts straight into the Villains' net! King Dedede finally makes his first shot! Ganondorf still making this look easy! Villager doing the same, making yet another shot! Palutena misses! She doesn't seem to be very useful outside of using her staff. There appear to be about the same number of coconuts in each basket at this point! It's anybody's game! Kirby's still rapid-firing coconuts from his mouth while Ridley is rapid-firing them from the air… but NOOOOOOO! Ridley, you crossed the line again! You're out of the challenge!
Viridi: WHAT?! How in the Underworld is he supposed to know when he's crossed the line when he's that high in the air?
MC Ballyhoo: That was a risk he chose to make! Ridley, stop it! I said that you're out!
Ridley: HYYYYAAAAARRRRGHHHH!
MC Ballyhoo: Toad, if you will.
[One of the camera Toads pulls out a stun gun. He stuns Ridley in midair, and the giant creature crashes to the ground.]
Palutena: Oh my goodness!
MC Ballyhoo: Don't worry, everyone, he's only stunned! He'll be okay! We had to do it because he wasn't leaving the challenge voluntarily! But the challenge still continues! Pikachu takes a shot at Mewtwo… and it hits! The coconut he was levitating drops… but Mewtwo quickly regains his focus and picks it up again! It looks like Mewtwo's figuring out how to handle the shots from Pikachu without being slowed down too much. Pikachu might need a different strategy!
[Walhart shifts his position slightly]
MC Ballyhoo: Walhart is showing his first signs of fatigue! Lucina is still sitting firmly in one place with her eyes closed, looking very strong. But I doubt she's feeling comfortable! King Dedede lands another one! Perhaps he's getting the hang of it. Ganondorf just barely misses! Kirby is still swallowing large numbers of coconuts and firing them from his mouth rapidly! With Ridley out of the challenge, this could help the Heroes get a leg up over the Villains since they don't have anyone that can fire so many at once so easily!
Palutena: WARP!
MC Ballyhoo: Palutena warps one more coconut into the net, but that's all her staff can do right now! She then fires a shot… and makes it! I think that's the first one she's made without her staff! It is now clear that Walhart has more coconuts in his net than Lucina does! Walhart appears to be in serious pain, but he's still holding on! Lucina is starting to show signs of fatigue as well! We may be getting close to the end of this challenge! Ganondorf is frantically shooting one coconut after another, and most of them are going in! Mewtwo's still levitating them in, but it takes longer than shooting them. Meanwhile, the Heroes have Villager nailing one shot after another while Kirby continues to shoot them in large quantities, with maybe half of them landing in the net each time!
Walhart: [groans] Please… forgive me…
[Walhart lets go of his rope and the net full of coconuts falls to the ground]
MC Ballyhoo: And that's it! HEROES WIN IMMUNITY AND REWARD!
[Lucina lets go and lays down in the sand as her cheering tribemates surround her]
Palutena: Amazing job, Lucina!
Villager: You're so strong!
Lucina: Thanks, guys. I knew we really needed this win.
[Walhart lays in the sand, too afraid to look at the other Villains]
Bowser: [hops up off the bench] Yeah! IT'S BOWSER TIME!
[Everyone gets quiet and looks at Bowser]
Ganondorf: All I could think was, "Bowser, please don't say what I think you're about to say."
Bowser: It's time for Bowser to go defeat Mario once and for all!
[Ganondorf facepalms]
Mewtwo: You can't be serious. Why would we bother voting out someone as pathetic as you? You're worth a million coins to anyone who gets to sit next to you at the Final Tribal Council!
Bowser: Because if you don't, I'm quitting the game!
Mewtwo: Oh, good grief…
MC Ballyhoo: WHOA! Is Bowser serious? I guess I'll find out tonight. Meanwhile, the Heroes will be enjoying pizza and soda at their camp, immune from Tribal Council! Congratulations, guys.
[MC Ballyhoo hands Immunity to Villager]
Villager: Take it, Lucina! You won it for us!
Lucina: [pulls herself off the ground] Uh, I think I'll let you carry that back to camp. I'm a little sore right now. And you did a really good job making those shots. It was a team effort.
MC Ballyhoo: Ho ho! The Heroes sure seem to get along well. But the Villains…
Ganondorf: You are the most pathetic life form I've ever had the misfortune of associating with, Bowser!
Mewtwo: We'll knock you unconscious and drag you through this game if we have to!
Bowser: RAWWWWWRRR! Why do you guys care so much? I mean, I know I'm a huge help in challenges, but still… [breathes fire]
Viridi: [steps between them] Whoa, guys, let's not lose our heads just yet!
Viridi: Seriously, these guys need to be more careful with what information they leak to the other tribe.
MC Ballyhoo: Ho ho! Heroes, you can head on back to camp! The pizza and soda will be delivered shortly.
Palutena: Thank you! [Heroes leave the challenge area]
MC Ballyhoo: So, clearly you guys aren't taking this loss very well. King Dedede, now that the Heroes aren't around, can you help me understand what's going on?
King Dedede: Bowser really wants to get sent to Redemption Island so that he can be the one to take Mario out of this game. Mewtwo and Ganondorf aren't happy because they know I'm the biggest threat! They wanted me gone! HA HA!
Ganondorf: Not only that, but we know that Bowser will lose to Mario. There's no reason to believe that his hundredth battle with his "rival" will have a different result than usual. If Mario got back in the game, the tribes would be even with six each. We want to have the advantage. And with Bowser threatening to quit if we don't vote him out, voting out King Dedede would lose us two members of our tribe. If King Dedede than lost to Mario, the Heroes would be up six to five.
MC Ballyhoo: Sounds like you're in a tough situation.
Ganondorf: No kidding! [scowls]
MC Ballyhoo: Well, once Walhart and Ridley have regained the ability to walk, you may head back to camp. I'll see you tonight.
DAY 20 – HEROES
[Heroes return to camp]
Villager: Looks like it's here already! I guess we each get a full pizza to ourselves!
Palutena: Yes, I suppose we do. We might want to save some of it for later, though, if we can.
Lucina: How quickly does pizza go bad?
Pikachu: Pika pi!
Villager: Pikachu wants you to stop worrying and start eating.
Palutena: [giggles] All right. You don't have to tell me that twice.
[The Heroes distribute the pizzas and soda and start eating]
Lucina: You know, this sounded like such a small reward compared to some of the others. But I think it's all we really need right now. Just some decent tasting food.
Villager: No kidding!
Palutena: Not only was the pizza delicious, but it gave us a little more time to bond as a group. There have been signs of a division in our little band of five, but hopefully we won't have to turn on each other any time soon. We're expecting the tribes to merge after this next Redemption Island duel, which will be critical in determining how the rest of this game plays out.
Palutena: So do you think the Villains are sending Bowser to square off against Mario?
Lucina: I guess they have to. If they vote out anyone else and then Bowser quits, it could swing the numbers in our favor.
Palutena: I think you're right. So, if Mario wins…
Villager: If?
Palutena: [smiles] Okay, when Mario wins, do you think he'd be willing to rejoin us after we voted him out?
Pikachu: Pi! Pikachu! Pika pika!
Villager: Pikachu says it's hard to say because he'd be in a tough position no matter which side he joined. And I have to agree.
Lucina: Even if Mario joined with us, it would still be a tie. We need to think about which Villains could potentially be persuaded to join us.
Palutena: Well, they would need a good reason to join us. With Bowser gone, I'm not sure there would be anyone left on that side that would join us out of anger with their tribemates. They would need reason to believe that they wouldn't get voted out immediately after we voted out the other Villains.
Lucina: We'll just have to look for openings on the other tribe. We still don't know much about how their alliances look over there. We'll have to do some scouting.
Palutena: I'll try to find out what I can from Viridi. She'll work with whoever she needs to when it's in her best interest to.
Villager: Sounds good. And maybe Kirby can work on King Dedede. He's probably the dumbest one they've got left. Who knows what he might do? Are you cool with that, Kirby?
Kirby: [smiles] Aye-ay-aye!
Palutena: Great. Maybe what we can do… is pretend that there's a division in our tribe.
Lucina: Elaborate.
Palutena: Let's tell the Villains that Kirby and I are on the bottom of this alliance, and that we feel we'll be in trouble if the five of us make up the final five. I could say to Viridi, and Kirby could say to King Dedede, that if they join with us to vote out the other Villains, we'll join with them to vote out the three of you once it's down to just the seven of us. That would give them reason to believe that they could be guaranteed final four by flipping.
Lucina: That's… genius! Though how would Mario factor into all of that?
Palutena: I don't know. We can figure that out once we know where his head is at.
Villager: I also think it sounds like a great plan. Though it might be too complex for King Dedede to follow.
Lucina: I could try to get to Walhart. Though he's not exactly the brightest bulb either.
Palutena: Well, I guess we'll just wait and see how it all plays out.
DAY 20 – VILLAINS
[Villains return to camp]
Viridi: Have fun reading the rest of this episode, ladies and gentleman. It wasn't a pretty afternoon.
Bowser: But I'm the only one who can defeat Mario! I know his weaknesses better than any of you! Send me to defeat him or I'm quitting! RAWRRRR!
Mewtwo: Bowser, we've heard enough! Let us think about it for two seconds!
Bowser: BUT YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME! IF YOU VOTE ANYONE ELSE OUT, I'M QUITTING THE GAME! THIS IS WHAT I CAME HERE TO DO! I'M GOING TO DEFEAT MARIO ONCE AND FOR ALL!
[Bowser begins to jump up and down]
Bowser: I'M QUITTING! QUITTING! QUITTING! YOU CAN'T STOP ME! YOU CAN'T STOP ME! RAWWRRR!
Mewtwo: THAT'S ENOUGH! IF IT WASN'T AGAINST THE RULES, I'D PSYCHIC CHOKE YOU TO DEATH RIGHT NOW! YOU NEED TO STOP THROWING TANTRUMS AND LET KING DEDEDE AND VIRIDI GIVE YOU A THERAPY SESSION WHILE THE REST OF US FIGURE OUT HOW TO DEAL WITH THE SITUATION YOU'VE SO PATHETICALLY PUT US INTO!
[Bowser stops screaming and starts crying]
Ganondorf: King Dedede and Viridi, if the two of you don't mind, we'll be more likely to spare you tonight if you can work on calming this reptile down while the rest of us have a private discussion.
King Dedede: No way! I'd rather...
Viridi: Zip it, Dedede! We'll calm him down!
Ganondorf: Thank you.
[Mewtwo, Ganondorf, Ridley, and Walhart are gathered around the well]
Ganondorf: First of all, Mewtwo, that was an amazing job. I didn't think it was possible to shut Bowser up like that.
Mewtwo: [takes a deep breath] I didn't do it for your praise.
Ganondorf: Wow, Mewtwo is such a jerk sometimes. Granted, I've probably caused more destruction in my lifetime than anyone on this tribe. You might call that being a jerk. But the difference is that I can contain my anger and act in a civil manner when the situation requires it. To win Survivor, you have to pretend you like people that you actually hate. Mewtwo doesn't even try to pretend.
Walhart: So what are we going to do tonight?
Ganondorf: I had wanted to vote out King Dedede, since I view him as more likely to turn on our tribe than Bowser. But that may not be an option when Bowser is threatening to quit. If Mario beat King Dedede at Redemption Island and we merge, there would be six Heroes and five Villains. Mario might be willing to join us, but that's not a risk we can take. It's best if we outnumber the Heroes at the merge and vote them out one by one.
Mewtwo: But Mario will defeat Bowser easily if we vote him out, which means we'd merge at 6-6.
Ganondorf: True, but that's still better than them leading us 6-5. And there is still a chance of Bowser winning…
Mewtwo: No, there really isn't.
Ganondorf: [pauses] Okay, so perhaps there isn't. But look at it this way: If we vote out King Dedede and Bowser quits, we go into the merge with eleven players and a 6-5 split in one direction or the other, depending on if it's Mario or King Dedede that wins the duel. If we simply vote Bowser out, he would lose to Mario and… wait a second…
Mewtwo: We'd be guaranteed a 6-6 tie, which isn't any better than having a 50-50 chance of being either up one or down one.
Ganondorf: Yeah, that's what I just realized. But that's assuming that a Mario vs. King Dedede matchup is 50-50. I would guess that Mario has a better chance at winning than King Dedede does.
Mewtwo: I guess I can't disagree with that.
Ganondorf: Exactly. So there would be a better chance of going into the merge down a player than up a player. But if we simply send Bowser to Redemption Island and he loses, we still go in with six members of each original tribe. Plus, there is still that very small chance that Bowser would beat Mario and…
Mewtwo: IT WON'T HAPPEN!
Ganondorf: Even if it doesn't, it's still a better option than losing both Bowser and King Dedede! You just don't want to give Bowser what he wants, do you?
Mewtwo: [pauses] I'll admit that might be clouding my judgment right now. I don't think I could live with myself if I let Bowser think for one second that his childish behavior got him what he wanted.
Ganondorf: I'm not happy with it, either, but we've got to be smart about this.
Mewtwo: Do we even know that Bowser really will quit?
Ganondorf: I guess we can't know for sure. But I wouldn't put it past him.
[Mewtwo sighs]
[Viridi is telling Bowser a bedtime story]
Viridi: …and so, thanks to the valiant efforts of the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement, the human race was wiped off the face of the earth. Greenhouse gases returned to their natural levels, there was no more pollution in the lakes, and the planet lived happily ever after. The end.
Bowser: Wow, that's such an inspiring story. I sure hope I get the chance to eradicate one of those humans at Redemption Island tomorrow.
Viridi: Well, I don't know that getting rid of one human would make much of an impact on the environment.
Bowser: But this is Mario we're talking about.
Viridi: I guess he is a rich, greedy capitalist. I wouldn't be surprised if he were opposed to environmental regulations on businesses.
Bowser: Yeah, whatever you said!
[Viridi starts using a voice that one would use talking to a little child]
Viridi: But da Bowser is way better for da enviwonment dan dat fat Italian plumber, isn't he?
Bowser: [nods] Yeah!
Viridi: Awwww, and he cares about dose poor wittle working class Americans making minimum wage, doesn't he?
Bowser: Yeah!
Viridi: And dat's why he wedistwibutes everyone's coins when someone lands on a Bowser space in Mario Party, isn't it?
Bowser: YEAH!
Viridi: Good wittle Koopa king. Now it's time for da Bowser to go nighty-night.
[Viridi tucks one of the pillows that they won in an earlier Reward Challenge under Bowser's head. She lays a blanket over him.]
Viridi: Good night, my wittle pumpkin.
Bowser: Good night, mommy.
Viridi: That was so painful that I think I'd rather get voted out than have to do it again. Luckily, I'm pretty sure Ganondorf and his allies will have no choice but to grant Bowser his wish. I won't have to play my idol, Bowser will get voted out and crushed by Mario in a duel, and then I'll work some magic at the merge.
[Viridi and King Dedede meet up with the other Villains in the woods]
Ganondorf: How did it go?
Viridi: I told him a story and tucked him into bed. He's asleep now.
Mewtwo: You… tucked him into bed?
Viridi: I guess he resorted to a state of childlike dependency.
[They all look at each other and erupt in laughter]
Ganondorf: That's just too good to be true!
King Dedede: You should've seen it! Viridi's a natural mother!
Viridi: Well, you know, I do refer to my Forces of Nature as my "children," but I hadn't dealt with anything like this before. I don't know how I did it.
Walhart: Are you even… able to have children?
[Everyone stops laughing and gives Walhart puzzled looks]
Walhart: I don't mean to sound like a creeper or anything. I'm happily married to Robin. I was just curious, given your… uh…
Viridi: Body of an eight-year-old?
Walhart: You said it, not me.
Viridi: That's classified information.
Ganondorf: And that was the end of that conversation.
[Villains enter the Tribal Council area as dramatic music plays, and they take their seats]
MC Ballyhoo: Welcome back to Tribal Council. Bowser, before we get to anything else, I need to ask about your meltdown after the challenge ended. Is it true that you're thinking of quitting?
Bowser: It's true that I'll quit if these guys try to vote out anyone besides me.
MC Ballyhoo: And why would you do that?
Bowser: Because I'm having a difficult time out here. The only way I'll be able to carry on through the rest of the game is if I personally defeat Mario.
MC Ballyhoo: But what if Mario ended up back in the game, and you could face off against him in Individual Immunity Challenges?
Bowser: [shakes head] That wouldn't be good enough. I need a one-on-one duel against him. I'm so tired of Mario winning.
MC Ballyhoo: With all due respect, Bowser, what makes you think this time will be different? You've squared off against Mario many times in the past, and you don't have a very good track record.
[The other Villains giggle]
Bowser: Hey, this time will be different! I can feel it! GWA HA HA!
MC Ballyhoo: Well, Villains, I feel I should let you know that per the rules of Survivor, I could not stop Bowser from quitting if you were to vote someone else out. And we wouldn't be able to bring that someone else back into the game because once the votes are read, the decision is final. Their only hope would be to win at Redemption Island. Knowing this, Ganondorf, how does Bowser's threat affect tonight's vote?
Ganondorf: [sighs] It changes everything. We had no plans to vote him out because we aren't threatened by him.
Bowser: You should be!
Ganondorf: [ignores Bowser] But simple math tells us that losing two tribe members is worse than losing only one, especially when we know that our numbers are close and a merge is on the horizon. We've also considered the possibility that Bowser wants us to vote for him because he has a Hidden Immunity Idol.
[Viridi's eyebrows raise]
Bowser: WHAT?! That's ridiculous!
MC Ballyhoo: So you're afraid that you'll all vote for him, and then he'll pull out an idol and have the power to vote one of you out?
Mewtwo: That's the idea, though we're not really "afraid" of it happening. I believe that Bowser really is as stupid as he acts, and that would mean there's no chance of him finding an idol.
MC Ballyhoo: WHOA! Harsh!
Bowser: Grrrr… can we get to the vote before they change their minds?
MC Ballyhoo: Very well. It is time to vote. You're up first, Walhart.
[Dramatic music plays as Walhart approaches the voting area]
[He is followed by Ganondorf, then Viridi]
[Viridi holds up her vote – Bowser]
Viridi: I sure hope those guys haven't come up with some reason to vote out anyone besides you.
[She is followed by Mewtwo, then Ridley, then Bowser, then King Dedede]
[King Dedede holds up his vote – Bowser]
King Dedede: You are just an imbecile. It will be a relief not to have you around.
[King Dedede sits back down]
MC Ballyhoo: I'll go tally the votes.
[MC Ballyhoo grabs the votes and brings them back]
MC Ballyhoo: If anybody has a Hidden Immunity Idol and you want to play it, now would be the time to do so.
[Ganondorf and Mewtwo glance at Bowser, who doesn't move. Ganondorf lets out a sigh of relief.]
MC Ballyhoo: Okay. Once the votes are read, the decision is final. The person will be asked to leave the Tribal Council area immediately. I'll read the votes [opens jar]. First vote: Bowser.
Bowser: Yeah! All Bowser, baby!
MC Ballyhoo: Second vote: Bowser. Third vote: Bowser. That's three votes Bowser.
[Bowser stands up to grab his torch]
MC Ballyhoo: Fourth vote: [pauses] the spelling is atrocious, but I believe it says Mewtwo.
Bowser: WHAT?! THAT CAN'T… oh wait, that was my vote. Never mind.
[Mewtwo rolls his eyes]
MC Ballyhoo: [pulls out another vote] Seventh person voted out of Survivor: Nintendo… Bowser. That's four votes, that's enough. Bring me your torch.
Bowser: Yeah! You know it! Thanks guys!
[Bowser brings his torch to MC Ballyhoo]
MC Ballyhoo: Bowser, the tribe has spoken.
[He snuffs his torch]
MC Ballyhoo: You will have a chance to get back in this game. Grab your stuff and head to Redemption Island, where Mario awaits.
Bowser: I'm coming for you, Mario! [heads to Redemption Island]
[MC Ballyhoo faces the remaining Villains]
MC Ballyhoo: You've expressed concern about the number of Villains that will enter the merge. This should make tomorrow's duel that much more interesting. Grab your torches and head on back to camp.
[Villains leave Tribal Council]
[Bowser shows up at Redemption Island]
Bowser: GWA HA HA! I knew I'd get my way!
Bowser: Guess who's here, Mario?
Mario: OH NO!
Bowser: Yeah, you'd better be scared. It's just you and me tomorrow. It's time to settle this once and for all!
Mario: I believe-a that he said-a that the last-a several times I beat-a him.
THE VOTES
Bowser: Mewtwo
Ganondorf: Bowser
King Dedede: Bowser
Mewtwo: Bowser
Ridley: Bowser
Viridi: Bowser
Walhart: Bowser