I CANNOT APOLOGIZE ENOUGH. But really you guys, I am sorry for the break between updates. This story just wont come out. I know where I want to go I just can't figure how I want to get there. Please don't think I don't plan on finishing it. I do. It just may take a while.

This chapter isn't as intense as far as triggers and such, but it does get intense.

It's been about a week since the big smoothy incedent. Prim has stuck by my side at all times to help fend off Glimmer. She hasn't been herself lately. She's still overly happy and spunky, but everything she does is a bit, tired. At first I blamed it on long volleyball practices, but then she got to looking a bit pale, and theres a ghost of sadness in her eyes. Barely visible. But there. Every time I ask her what is wrong she smiles and says 'nothing'.

But today when I asked it was different. There were no excuses. No fake smiles. She just gave me a small half smile and told me her mom said I could spend the night tonight if I wanted to. That shocked me. Her mom never lets anyone stay over on school nights. I nodded and said I'd be over at 6:00.

It's 6:03 and I'm knocking on the door.

Mrs. Hawthorne answers. She's smiling, but the same sadness can be seen in her eyes. When I walk in everything seems normal.

Vick and Rory are playing wideo games and laughing at each other. Posy is engrossed in her coloring. Gale is ranting about economy collapsing and running off and living in the woods. Prim is laughing at him and telling him how dense he is. I walk in and Prim waves. Gale turns and smile a mega-watt smile, "Hey Catnip! It's about time you came to see me, I was begining to think you didn't love me anymore!"

I shake my head and give him a side hug, he kisses the top of my head. That's how it is with Gale and I. Comfortable. He's like my brother. I'm like his sister. End of story.

Prim and I make our way up the stairs to her room while we wait on the pizza Mrs. Hawthorne ordered.

"Hey Katniss?" She's painting her nails 'Party Rock Pink.'

"Yes Prim?" I'm picking 'Party Rock Pink' off of my toes.

"Remember when we were young and we had sooo much fun playing dressup?"

I can't help but laugh, "Prim, you had fun. I was your life size Barbie."

I smile at her and she rolls her eyes and sticks out her tongue.

"I just thought it would be fun to do it agian, like old times." She smiles that smile that means I could fight her, but it would be a losing battle.

So I nod.

And she squeals in delight and pulls me from her bed and into the chair in front of her dresser.

I have to admit, it is kind of fun. Rue brushed and curled my hair. We laughed when she teased it and I looked lilke someone from Jersy Shore. We ate pizza. Lots of pizza. Prim spews out makeup tips as she brushes and buffs away at my face. Life feels easy again. Like when all we had to worry about was cooties and cookies. I'm reminded why we're best freinds. We fit. We balance each other. It's just easy.

When Prim tells me it's time to find something for me to wear I scoff.

"What?" She casts me a look.

"Prim. Please. There is no way I can fit into any of your clothes."

"Katniss. Please. Trust me. Stand up and close your eyes. No peeking."

I sigh and stand. Prim strips me of my outer clothes and slips something over my head. There's a soft zzziiip, and I'm being shoved into the chair again. I yelp and my eyes pop oben, but I'm qickly instructed to 'keep 'em closed.' Prim slips my old Vans off and slips what I assume are heels onto my feet. She helps me to my feet and I wobble a litte, but am able to walk the short distance she leads me.

"Okay. Open."

I do. And my jaw drops.

It's the dress. The one from the nurses office.

"Why Prim? Why the hell would you put me in this dress."

"Because! You needed to see it Katniss."

"See what? That grey makes me look like an elephant? Thanks Prim." I kick the heels off and shove past her.

"No Katniss! So you could see that-" she grabs my hand and I hiss and jerk away form her. The same hand with the gash that I've been trying to hide. I've worn fingerless gloves or long sleeves every day to cover the bandage. Today was fingerless gloves.

"Katniss..."

"No Prim it's not what you think-"

"Katniss. Take off the glove."

I stand there.

"Take. Off. The glove."

I pull it off and when she sees the bandage her eyes meet mine, full of tears and anger. She grabs my wrist.

"This." She points at my hand, "I'm trying to show you that this, isn't worth it Katniss." She drops my hand and sits on the end of her bed. "God Katniss! I just wish you could see the person that I see. That we all see! The people that matter." By now she's crying. "It breaks my heart Katniss. You are so beautiful. So kind. You have so much value as a human being. But you refuse to see it." She turns me to the mirror again. "This." She picks up my hand. "This is not an answer Katniss. You promised me you wouldn't. We've had this talk. I'm trying to show you the wonderful person you are Katnis, but you won't open your eyes, and I'm running out of time." She stops suddenly. Her back turned to me, head down. I can see her shaking. She's crying again.

"Prim...Wha-what are you talking about?" I can't seem to make myself move. I feel like my blood has been replaced with ice water. There's a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Kat, I went to the doctor the other day about my legs..."

"But those were just shin splints. The coach said-"

"Katniss they weren't shin spints." Her eyes are so broken. Her face is red from tears and emotion.

"Prim...what are you saying."

"I have cancer Katniss. Leukemia."

Not really much to say here.

Reveiw please darlings.