I know I haven't updated in forever and you all probably hate me but I assure you something went terribly wrong for me last year and I completely forgot about any of this. Just getting my life back on track and getting back to my old habits. Sorry for frustrating you all!

6:52. I silently fumed as I recalled his words last night. You can trust me. Bastard. Bastard bastard bastard. I stormed up from my seat and collected my bag not even saying goodbye to my friends working at the diner. I know just the place to go. I'll show that ungrateful jerk. I stomped out to my car and drove to the 'ghetto' part of town looking for Jared's house. I parked in his driveway and stopped to breathe. Relax. The house was very small from the outside, just guessing here but it looks like one of those one bedroom apartments with a bathroom, living-room and kitchen. Very simple. I stepped out of the car and trotted up the cracked pathway and knocked on his door. I heard some loud banging and then a raging voice:

"Get the bloody hell of my doorstep Kyle or I swea- Oh." Jared pauses, his house is pretty dark and I can't see his face clearly, "Oh shit! I forgot didn't I?"

I give him a pointed look, "Damn straight you did, I don't even know why- holy crap what the hell happened to your face?" I was in complete shock, his nose was bleeding and he had a busted lip which was also split. His right was beginning to swell and a bruise was forming on his jawline. And just like that all my anger disappeared and a wave of concern overtook.

"It's nothing really, look you should go…" He trailed off when he realised the shock and worry on my face.

"Jared," I breathed, "What kind of mess did you get yourself into?" He didn't answer, I don't even think he has an answer, "I'm coming inside, let's get you cleaned up." To my surprise he didn't even argue, just stepped aside to let me in. "Can I ask why's it so dark in here?"

"The light was bothering my eye." He moves to a corner and switches on the light and I get to see my surroundings more clearly. I'm standing in Jared's little living-room, there's a decent sized couch in front of a small TV set with a small coffee table in the middle. Where are his parents? There can't be enough room in this house for his parents too. I decided not to ask. "It's not much," he shrugs, "But its home." Then I take a good look at him and I gasp.

"Holy.." He was wearing a black sleeveless shirt that exposed a lot of fresh scars which I'm assuming occurred just before I came. I couldn't see the other damage because he was wearing black track pants. "Was it Kyle?"

"More like his groupies."

"You can explain later, just rest and I'll get you cleaned up." He didn't say anything, just sat on the couch with his usual flat expression. I sighed and went to find the Kitchen; it was fairly small but it wasn't so bad that I couldn't move. I began rummaging through the cabinets, getting a bowl of water, a few towels; I started looking for and first aid kit or something. I found some bandages, tissues and that disinfectant stuff you put on scars. I put the stuff on the tray and took it to the living room. "You don't look too comfortable." I grimaced at the sight of him.

"They stomped on my shoulders." He winced.

"How many?"

"There was three of them."

"Jesus.." I muttered, "Ok just lean back and let me work my magic." He gave half a smile. I cleaned up his bloodied nose and his split lip. "What to do about all this swelling... aha!" an idea came to me, "Jared where's your bathroom?" he pointed to the right. I hurried to the bathroom and retrieved mouth wash from the sink. I dabbed a little mouthwash on the tissue and held it against his swollen lip.

"Ow!" He snapped.

I rolled my eyes, "You just got bashed, and you can handle a little sting."

I continued cleaning him up, wiping all the dried blood and reducing all the swelling. By the end of it I was sitting on the arm of the couch leaning over him and bandaging the final scar on his forehead.

"You're pretty much good as new," I murmured still analysing his face closely. His beautiful face. I felt myself go hot just thinking that. He just kept looking at me, letting me touch him, "Except for this bruise on your jaw." I turned his face to the side drawing my fingers along his jawline. Sexy Jawline. And then I just stared at him. And he stared at me. Both of with unreadable expressions except all I could think was how goddamn sexy he was and how I really really liked being this close to him.

Instead I got up and stretched.

"You still owe me an explanation."

"I owe you nothing." He winced again from the pain in his shoulders.

"Well you did stand me up," I stopped thinking now isn't the time to throw a fit, "Lay down."

"What?" He was clearly shocked.

"Lay down on your stomach and take off your shirt."

He laughed but there was some pain behind it, "Well I did say I could squeeze you in."

I rolled my eyes, "Just shut up and do it." I walked over to the kitchen and looked for some oil in the cabinets. I found a small jug of olive oil, eh this will have to do. Walking back into the living room, I find a shirtless Jared sitting on the couch. I clear my throat and try to cool myself down. He sees me and lays down on his stomach on the couch. I squish myself on the couch and pour some oil on his back and spread some on my hands. I start to massage his shoulders slowly, he gave a rough sigh and groaned.

"Thank you." He choked.

"Shh" I whispered, "You don't need to thank me." Then it struck me that I really meant it. It began to occur to me that I really do care about this boy. Why? He hasn't exactly been the nicest friend? Why am I starting to care about him so much? I dig my hands deeper into his muscles in a circular motion and I tried to pretend like I wasn't enjoying feeling him up. We sat in a long silence, me rubbing his shoulders harder and him groaning and sighing in response.

"My family died in a house fire when I was 11." He began and I nearly fell over in shock from his words, "We were a good family, always together, I even had a little brother. Jacob, he was 8." I throat began closing up, I couldn't even speak.

"We always used to fight, but I was his big brother, I could protect him from anything. Bullies, bad guys, but not when he needed me most. Not when I couldn't open his door and save him from burning to ashes." There was so much pain in his voice. His eyes were closed and I was still rubbing my hands along his shoulders.

"Jared, you can't blame yourself!" I didn't even know what to say. I tilted his face up to look at me but he just sat up and stared at the ground.

"Why the hell not?" He spat, "It's my fault, it's my entire fault, I was supposed to save him, and it was supposed to be me who died in that fire." Oh my god there was so much grief in his voice that I had to stop myself from bursting into tears. I laced my fingers through his and just stayed there.

"Jared, if it was meant to be you then it would have been you." I begin, "If Jacob was alive, and you weren't, would you want Jacob to waste his life blaming himself for your death? Or would you want him to take advantage of the blessing he's got, and make something out of his life."

"There's nothing to make out of my life."

"Don't make yourself out like you're worthless. You're so incredibly smart that it pisses me off you don't put it to use!" He just looked at me and smiled a real smile, not a smirk or his annoying grin, but a Jared Howe heart melting smile. And boy was it the most beautiful thing ever.

"Thank you." I just smiled back.

"Plus, wouldn't you want to have the feeling of your family back?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean wouldn't you like to start your own family one day, take back what you lost?" He just kept staring like I've said something completely new to him. "You can't do that if you're going around getting pummelled by twenty guys." He just gripped my hand tighter. We were so close; I could almost feel his breath. But he just looked at me and smiled.

I know it's a tad long but what do you guys think? Drop suggestions in a review!

-milo