Truth or Dare: Naruto Style!
By nightsilencesister
Chapter 7: Gai vs. Cats and Two New Characters
(A/N: This is chapter seven. We'll see what happens to Gai in this one.)
Disclaimer: For the hundredth time, I do not own Naruto!! (Actually, it's the seventh.)
Gai began to wake up from his slumber. (A/N: That sounded odd.)
His vision was blurry. He saw somethingsomething orange. (A/N: "Jaws" soundtrack starts playing from out of nowhere.)
Is that Naruto? He thought to himself. His eyes opened wider. It appeared to be...
What else? A cat. (A/N: Soundtrack ends)
Gai screamed like a little girl and fainted. (A/N: Ha ha ha sissy.)
The cat jumped off the bed and turned back into Naruto.
"Well that plan sucked, he said. "Who came up with that idea?"
"You did, idiot!" Sakura yelled as she hit Naruto on the head.
"Oh yeah. So what are we going to do?!"
"I think I have an idea," said Kakashi. "Okay, everyone, listen carefully."
Later...
Gai woke up (again) and scratched his head.
"Eh? What happened?" he asked himself. Suddenly, he heard a scream outside the door.
"Oh no! That sounds like Lee! I'm coming, my honorable pupil!" he yelled as he ran out the door. When he got out, he nearly fainted.
Apparently Kakashi's plan was to pretend that Lee was being "attacked" by a vicious cat (a.k.a. Naruto), so that hopefully Gai would rescue Lee and be freed of his stupid fear.
"Gai-sensei!! Help me!!" cried Lee.
Gai began to sweat. Should he rescue his student, or get away from his worst nightmare?! Stay tuned for the next chapter to find out!!
Just kidding. That would make this chapter too short and stupid.
So, anywho, as Lee was being mauled by cat Naruto, Gai began to choose. Suddenly, he got an idea. (A/N: Ho boy, this'll be interesting)
Gai ran to the store and asked the cashier, "I need a cat carrier, knight armor and a kitty treat!"
"Sir, I don't know who you are, but this is a furniture store," said the cashier. "I suggest you go across the street to the Store of Cat Carriers, Knight Armor and Kitty Treats."
"Uh, thanks!" yelled Gai as he rushed to the Store of Cat Carriers, Knight Armor and Kitty Treats.
"Whatever," she said.
When Gai got back to the hospital, he was carrying a cat carrier, a box of Kitty Treats, and wearing a full suit of armor (with a cup holder!)
"Vile feline! Today you meet your match!" shouted Gai, pulling out a large sword.
"Um, Gai?" said Kakashi.
"What is it, humble peasant?"
"You're a NINJA. You could use your ninja skills to beat the cat, you don't need your armor," replied Kakashi.
"…"
"Do I know you?"
"Uh, it's me, Kakashi. REMEMBER?"
"Well, anyway, peasant--I mean, 'Kakashi'--stand back while I slay the cat!" He roared as he lunged for the cat. "Lee!! I'm coming!!"
Gai tried to slash Naruto, but he freaked out at the last second and jumped away. Gai barely missed Lee, of course.
Lee fainted as cat Naruto turned into ninja Naruto.
"Gasp!! What trickery is this?!" exclaimed Gai.
"I think that helmet's on too tight," announced Hinata. She walked over and pulled the helmet off.
"Huh? What happened? I put on the helmet, and then everything went weird," said Gai.
"Hey Gai, do you still remember me?" asked Kakashi.
"…"
"Uh, anyway, we'd better revive Lee. Does anyone have any water?" asked Kankuro.
"Hey! A bucket of liquid that came out of nowhere! I'll go get it," said Naruto, running over to the bucket.
But, before Naruto could get his hands on the bucket handle, an obese angel appeared, eating Kentucky Fried Chicken. (A/N: Yeah I'm kinda craving chicken right now…)
"Holy smokes! Who the heck are you?!" demanded Naruto.
"I am Angel One Steaksauce, but you can call me A1 Steaksauce. Yeah. It's that important. Anyway, Naruto, I was sent by nightsilencesister to tell you to NOT GET THAT BUCKET OF LIQUID!!"
"Er, why not?"
"The author wants to keep it a secret because that would totally spoil this part of the chapter, and fewer readers will read the story. JUST DON'T DO IT, MAN!!"
"Oh all right and HEY WHAT'S THAT?!"
"What?!" yelled A1 Steaksauce. When he turned back, Naruto was gone, and so was the bucket of water.
"Go ahead, Naruto Uzumaki! I don't care what happens to--wait for me!!" shouted A1 Steaksauce, trying to catch up.
"Hey guys, I'm back," said Naruto.
"Finally! Come on, we've got to wake up Lee," declared Sakura.
Naruto dumped the liquid, but instead of liquid, out came--NEJI!
"Oh #&!! I have GOT to listen to that angel next time!!" yelled Naruto.
"What?" said Neji.
"Um, nothing…"
"Anyway, NARUTO, YOU ARE SO DEAD!!" roared Neji as he ran over to totally annihilate Naruto.
Almost immediately after Neji lunged, A1 Steaksauce dumped a cup of water onto Neji.
"Darn it! CURSE YOU, YOU STUPID OBESE ANGEL!!"
"Who are you calling stupid and obese?!" shouted A1 Steaksauce. He grabbed a brick and threw it at Neji's head, just before he completely melted. (A/N: If you're a Neji fangirl, then sorry about the brick.)
"Whoa, who are you?!" asked Temari.
"My name is Angel One Steaksauce, but you may call me A1 Steaksauce. Yeah. It's that important," answered A1 Steaksauce.
"Can we call you A1 instead?" questioned Shino.
"That works too. I'm an angel of nightsilencesister, and she says that you guys are playing Truth or Dare. Can I join?"
"Sure," replied Gai.
Just then, Lee got up, but then he saw Gai's sword.
"SWORD!!" he screamed, and then he fainted again.
"Uh, what just happened?" asked Shikamaru.
"I think Lee has acquired a new fear of swords because Gai nearly killed him with one," replied Kakashi.
"Gai, you'd better hide your sword when he wakes up," said Naruto.
Gai threw the sword out the window, which stabbed an old lady walking by. (A/N: That's why, kid, you should never throw swords out windows. It could hurt someone!)
"Oh! Sorry, ma'am," called out Gai. "Didn't mean to stab you!"
"Um, she's already dead."
"Oh. Whoops."
Suddenly, a blonde lady appeared below and bellowed, "Hey! That was my next patient, you fools!"
"Hey! It's Granny-Tsunade!" said Naruto. "Hey! Wanna play Truth or Dare with us?"
"Sure, why not. Her treatment was gonna be, like, 3 hours, so have some spare time since she's, ya know, dead. Lemme get Shizune and Ton-Ton."
She ran off to another building of the hospital.
So, everyone went to one of the hospital rooms to continue (finally) their truth or dare game. (A/N: If you're wondering where the doctor went, he flew off to fight crime to make use of his powers.)
That's about it. Chapter 8 will be here as soon as possible (or something).
Fin