Dull amber eyes glanced left and then right before the young boy slowly made his way across the street. Each step took him closer to an apartment complex which made him feel uneasy. He couldn't hold back a soft breathy sigh as it slipped past his lips. Ryoma didn't know how he felt about this entire situation, he honestly didn't. He couldn't find the right words to express what he wanted to say, nor did he think he wanted to tell anybody anyway. This act of duty which he was about to perform wasn't one that he necessarily wanted to undergo. It was more something that he needed to do just to make sure everything was real.
The two hour train ride felt like it had taken forever. With each stop that he sped past he felt his chest clench just a little bit tighter and his mind turn a little more muddled. Just a few months ago, he was a carefree tennis captain and all he had to do was go to school, go to practice, study and go to sleep. It was an easy routine to follow and one that he had wanted to go on for just a little bit longer. Then…everything seemed to happen all at the same time. He clutched at the small bag he held in his right hand, two little boxes wrapped up inside snug and ready to warm up the new apartment that his friends have rented together.
Together…
At the gates of the complex, Ryoma stopped walking. He turned his back to the complex and leaned it against the wall that surrounded the building he was supposed to enter. If he was completely honest, he still didn't know how he felt about the two people in his life who seem to have affected it beyond reason. The boy had never thought about what a relationship meant and how it felt to be in a relationship. How do you tell if you like someone in that way? How do you know which decision is the right one? He hasn't even thought about what he wanted to do once he graduated.
He hefted the bag from his side and clutched it to his chest. What was he supposed to say to Fuji? What was he supposed to say to Momo? It seemed like all the decisions had been made for him when he wasn't looking and life was running forwards, pulling him along without letting him take a breath. Those same dull eyes stared up at the listless, cloudy sky. How did everything happen so quickly? Didn't he get to have a say in all of this?
The restaurant they had chosen for the reunion was one that they had been to only a few times before. The boys had decided to give their usual sushi haunt a break and enjoy the dinner with Taka amongst them and relaxing for once. The night had gone smoothly, with everyone catching each other up on their lives and talking about where they would be heading with some of them heading into university and the rest trying to decide what they should do to prepare for university. It was a smaller reunion than normal, with only the nine of them eating around the big table instead of all of the extra people they usually invited. It gave them a chance to catch up more intimately, something that wasn't usually done.
"Oishi! That was my piece!" A childish voice called out over the chatter at the table. This was followed shortly by a softer feminine voice chiming that Eiji was welcome to the plate that on the table besides that one. A few other voices echoed that sentiment which was then followed by a round of laughter before the ex-vice captain spoke up.
"Please don't trick Eiji into eating anything strange tonight. I'm the one that's going to have to deal with it on the way home and look after him all night." The laughter and merriment continued in this fashion for a while longer, the topics becoming a little more serious now as they started to discuss living arrangements. Who was moving out? Who still lived at home? Did anybody have a girlfriend yet?
It was then that there was a high pitched but light tapping sound from one end of the table. All eyes turned to Tezuka who had started to lightly tap on his glass with a spoon. "I have an announcement that I would like to make to the rest of you tonight, if I may." The voice spoke with the seriousness captain tone that everybody had grown accustomed to over the many years of knowing the man. Besides him, Fuji sat with the gentle smile that usually adorned his soft features; the smile that nobody quite knew how to understand.
"Over the next few months, Fuji and I will be moving into our new apartment. We have yet to finalize the lease for it but we are hoping to get a place in the complex right by the university we are both wanting to attend. As soon as the details are finalized, I'll be sure to pass on our new address to all of you." There was a hint of a smile on the man's face as he spoke and with that, his announcement was over. There was a short pause before the table went up with cheers and congratulations were being called from all locations around the table. This was a moment that many of the members had been waiting for as they had all noticed the air between Tezuka and Fuji change slowly over the past year.
An announcement that everyone except for one person had been waiting for. At that moment, Ryoma's gaze caught Fuji's at the two of them shared a small pang of regret and a memory that the two of them shared and wanted to repeat but have now lost their chances of completely. The young boy opened his mouth to also give his congratulations when an arm clasped itself around his shoulders and a jovial voice called out from the seat beside him. "While everybody is making their announcements, I want to make one too."
An announcement…? Ryoma's eyes cast up urgently at Momoshiro, trying but unable to catch his attention before the other prattled on with his announcement. "Last week, Echizen and I shared a special moment." The boy's heart sunk but he could see the excitement and happiness that Momoshiro exuded. This wasn't something he should interrupt midway. He had learnt a lot about how to deal with people and society the past few years and this was definitely one of the situations where he wished he could be his former self. Tell the other off and stop the moment but before he knew it the announcement had continued to its end. "And while we're never going to be as embarrassing as our Golden Pair, Echizen is now my boyfriend."
A small chunk of food flew over the table towards Momoshiro at the last comment before there was a very quick hissed lecture at the childish action and a round of congratulations started up around them. The other boys clamoured to congratulate Momoshiro for finally having the guts to take the step he had been hmming over for a long time now but it was when Fuji looked towards Ryoma and started his congratulations that the young boy in question pushed his seat back from the table. He made a small gesture to Momo that he should stay and enjoy the moment when he got up. "I just need some air." And with that he left the table.
When Ryoma stepped outside into the cool night's air, he breathed in deeply with the hopes that it would take away all of the emotions that churned inside his body. He had no idea what just happened inside but he didn't like it. Everything felt strange and everything was moving too quickly. But before he was able to make sense of it, footsteps could be heard behind him and he realized Fuji had followed him out.
"Congratulations." The feminine voice spoke as he went to stand by Ryoma just by the entrance. The pair stood in silence for quite a few moments, both not knowing what to say.
"That's it then." The younger boy replied, unable to meet Fuji's gaze as he shuffed his feet slightly. This entire moment was awkward. Everything felt strange. What are you supposed to say when you're accepting congratulations of getting into a relationship from someone that you had just recently spent the night with. Someone you weren't sure how you felt about. That coupled with the fact that you were now dating someone who you also had no idea how you felt about and didn't know you were dating until the other person had announced it.
"What's it, then?" Fuji responded quietly.
"That night didn't mean anything to you, did it?" Straight to the point. By this point, Ryoma's patience was wearing thin and he had had enough of these emotions. Things should just go back to the way they were. Life was simple, all he had to think about was tennis.
"Echizen…" Then as quickly as that response started, Ryoma ended it. The way his name was said was all he needed to hear. The part of the name which Fuji had chosen to say explained everything. It was the heat of that one moment and that was how it would stay. He didn't know whether the feelings he felt at that time were betrayal or whether it was disappointment at himself for not being strong enough to make a decision. Now the decision had been made for him and there was nothing else he could do. All his life, decisions were made for him. What tennis he played, which school he played for and now who he was to date. All decisions made by other people. He turned away from Fuji and refused to hear the rest of what the other boy wanted to say and that was when the door opened once more.
Momoshiro stepped out of the restaurant with a big grin on his face. He glanced at the two who stood outside and without feeling out the situation called out to them. "Hey, the desserts are coming out, do you two wanna come back in already?" He moved towards Ryoma and reached a hand out to grab onto his boyfriend's shoulder. The hand was roughly smacked away just before it landed.
"Don't touch me. I never said yes. Why do you all constantly make decisions for me?!" The words rushed out of Ryoma's small body, smacking Momoshiro and Fuji right in the chest. But before either of them could react, the boy was gone. He no longer wanted to deal with any of it and the easiest way to deal with this was just to go home. Dessert wasn't worth sitting in a room with a boyfriend and a….what do you even call it? He didn't know and he didn't want to think about it.
When they went back into the restaurant, excuses were made about the young captain needing to do his homework and write up new training schedules for the team. Momoshiro having been convinced by Fuji that the best recourse now was to leave the youth to his own devices and think things through. They could always contact him the next morning. Nothing could be done now.
Ryoma had spent the next few days thinking over what happened at the restaurant. Then a few days after that, he met up with Momoshiro and the two of them continued on their friendship like nothing had happened at the restaurant. Neither said anything about their new relationship status although it was still implied that Momoshiro believed they were definitely dating. The relationship would move as slowly as Ryoma needed. That was all the young boy needed, a little bit of time.
Another little sigh made its way past the young boy's lips and he pushed himself off the wall. This time he turned back towards the complex and rung the doorbell. A few moments later, after giving his name to the intercom, Ryoma was buzzed in and he made his way up to the apartment that the two had managed to secure.
He tried to keep his spirits high. There wasn't any point in being upset or confused now that he had made this entire way to visit two of his seniors. They had been good to him throughout their time together in club and they deserved everything that happened. Ryoma took a deep breath and nodded to himself before he stopped at the doorway of his destination.
Just before he knocked on the door, however, he noticed out of the corner of his eye, a windowsill that peered out of the apartment in question. Along the sill, a line of little cactus had made their home. They were all there, all the little prickly plants that he remembered sitting by Fuji's bed. All of them except one. The soft round one that he had taken a liking to. The one that Fuji had watched him sit and be enamored by on the bed that they had shared that special night together. That little cactus was nowhere to be found and with that realization, the boy left the small gift bag hanging on the door and left to start the return trip home.
Obviously, Fuji had already made the move to forget that night ever existed.