THE LOSS

Emily had been sick every morning for the past few weeks. She knew why. She was pregnant. It was not making it more enjoyable to throw her guts every morning in the toilet, but there was a reason, and a good one. She was twelve weeks pregnant, and though it was not expected, she was getting used to it, and she could feel her maternal instinct kicking in. Every morning, after throwing up everything she could, she was rubbing her still flat belly and talking to the baby, asking if it could stop getting mommy sick every morning.

Aaron was over the moon with the idea of being a dad. Of course, their job was going to make it hard to survive, and it had been only a year they were together so he felt it was a bit early. But after the shock of the news, he had hugged tight Emily, and had even shed a tear of happiness. He could still remember the day like yesterday.

The door of the Chief of Staff was closed and Aaron and Emily were sitting on the couch of her office. They were having lunch like they usually did. It was their little break away from the reality of the job, and they were trying to do it as often as possible, even if it was less often that they actually would like it to. They had ordered Chinese from the take-out not far from the White House, but today, they were eating in silence. They could have heard a fly in the office, and Aaron knew something was wrong. Emily was never silent when everything was fine. It was weird, but he did not really know how to react because he did not want to confront Emily with that. Usually, when Emily did not want to say something, she needed some time alone for herself and he knew she would eventually tell him what was going on. He wasn't really worried though, it usually was minor things and he knew everything was still fine in their relationship, it was just the way she was. But it had already been two days, he was starting to wonder what was going on.

"Em… What is going on ?" Aaron asked softly, putting a hand on her thigh.

"Nothing hon', I'm just tired…" Emily avoided the answer.

"It's been two days you're just so quiet, I know sometimes you just need time to talk, but you're starting to worry me."

Emily did not answer. She just sighed loudly and then started crying. Soft sobs at first, that became louder. Aaron took her in his arms and kissed softly her temple. He was rocking her back and forth just like a baby.

"Talk to me hon', talk to me" Aaron whispered.

Emily continued crying for a couple more minutes without being able to say anything. Then she tried to regain a bit of composure, and she sat up next to Aaron, cross-legged and facing him. She wiped the tears off her cheeks, took his hands in hers, and swallowed hard before talking.

"I was supposed to have my period last week. And it never came. So I took a test yesterday morning, and I am… pregnant" she said, looking straight into Aaron's eyes, hoping for any sort of reaction.

It took a while for Aaron to register what was going on. He was looking at her, but staring into space in the same time. He could hear Emily.

"Pregnant ?" he asked, needing confirmation on what she had said.

"Yes, I am pregnant."

Suddenly, he saw his life pass before his eyes, going through thousands of emotions in the same time. He did not even know it was possible to have so many emotions conflicting in his mind. After a moment that seemed like hours for both of them, he started smiling and a tear fell down his cheek. He took Emily in his arms, hugged her tight and kissed her.

"This is amazing Em!"

Of course, after that moment, they had talked a lot about their current situation, how early it was and if they could do it or not, what they would do with their jobs, when they would tell everyone.

Emily had confirmed the pregnancy with a medical appointment a week after, and they had decided to keep quiet about it until she would show. On this day, they were still the only two to know about it. They had debated longly whether they would tell their parents or not. Aaron had wanted to tell his parents, but he knew that as soon as his mother would know, she would tell everybody else. She couldn't held her tongue. So they had kept it their little secret, and even though they knew they wouldn't be able to keep it much longer, they had to say they enjoyed having some kind of privacy in this crazy world.

Of course, Emily, the caffeine-addict, had stopped drinking coffee, and that had raised suspicions. Every morning, she was bringing a mug of coffee at work, it was a well-known fact. So after two days "forgetting" her mug, the senior staffers had started questioning her. Since then, she had replaced coffee with smoothies or other juices that could boost her up but that didn't hold any caffeine. For everybody, she was still a coffee-addict, but Emily knew better, she could feel herself getting tired with every day passing without coffee.

This morning, Emily was sick again, and when Aaron woke up to the sound of her throwing up in the bathroom, he rose quickly to help her hold her hair and rub her back. He knew it was supposed to stop soon, and he was more than waiting for it to stop. It had been hard for her to wake up every morning like that, and he felt really bad for her. He was doing his best to soothe her, but he knew he couldn't do much about it.

After that terrible waking up, Emily managed to eat crackers for breakfast. It was mostly the only thing she could eat before 10 a.m., but she was thankful that she could at least swallow something. She knew many women couldn't eat a thing, so she felt blessed to be able to keep something in her stomach when going to work. In her office, she was hiding three packs of saltines, and if she had forgotten to refill her drawer, she knew that Aaron would have thought about it. It was weird, because she wasn't the type of person eating savory things, but since she was pregnant, she couldn't stand eating sweet treats anymore.

Emily and Aaron were in a meeting with the ambassador of Russia over a dispute in the Bering Strait when she started feeling it. It was just a little twinge in her belly, like a very small cramp. She had already felt it a couple of times, so she didn't worry much. Her doctor had told her it could be normal, especially since she was often tired and overworking. He had also told her to take it slow, but Emily was way too committed to her job to listen to that. Aaron was concerned, he could see that she wasn't taking things slow, he could see that she was getting easily exhausted. So even if she was attending all the meetings not to raise suspicions, Aaron had forced her to handle him things so she could rest, especially paperwork. She didn't like that, pregnancy wasn't an illness and she was determined not to let it impinge on her life.

So she took time to breath slowly, in and out deeply, and she took a sip of water. The pain faded and everything went back to normal. After the meeting though, she went straight to her office to drink a full bottle of water and lean on her desk, breathing deeply. Taking her jacket off, she was wondering why she felt so warm today, and she hoped that it was just the hormones talking, not that she was getting sick.

She was taking a call when Aaron knocked at her door, worried about her. He had seen that she wasn't feeling well during the meeting, so he wanted to check on her. But as she was walking around her desk to sit in her chair, Aaron noticed a small red stain on her skirt. His eyes grew wide, and he walked quickly to her, forcing her to end the call.

"Em, are you feeling alright?" Aaron asked worried.

"Yeah I'm fine. What is going on? I just had a little weakness in the meeting, but you know it can happen, I'm feeling fine." she said rising again to close the distance between them.

But when she started walking, she felt something wet running down her legs. A new twinge hit her, stronger this time, and she almost lost her balance, surprised. Aaron quickly caught her and they both looked down where her beige skirt was getting red from blood. She felt another twinge, stronger than the last ones, and it made her fall on her knees.

"Emily! Emily! Oh my God Em!" Aaron started screaming.

He held her tight as she was losing consciousness in his arms. His heart was beating fast, he didn't know what to do, what to say. His voice caught Seth's attention who was walking by Emily's office, and when he walked in, he saw Emily on the floor and Aaron holding her, panicking.

"What is going on?" he asked, running toward them.

"Please, call an ambulance" Aaron pleaded. "She's pregnant."

Seth opened his eyes wide at the revelation and reacted quickly, grabbing his phone to call an ambulance. Holding Emily's hand, he also called the medical service of the White House for them to take care of the Chief of Staff while they were waiting for an ambulance. He was shaking her hand, hoping it would wake her up, event though he knew it wouldn't.

"Nobody knows." Aaron said, his desperate look on Seth. "Oh my God she's losing the baby."

Aaron was panicking, he was completely panicking. He had lost total control of himself and was starting to cry, realizing what was happening. He had probably never panicked like that ever before, it wasn't his type. But the woman he loved was losing their baby. Suddenly, other people started entering Emily's office. Some were truly concerned, but others were just curious, and Seth rose to make everybody leave the room, while the medical service was coming to take care of Emily.

A few hours later, she woke up in a very uncomfortable bed in a white room. It took time for her to realize where she was, but suddenly, everything hit her. Aaron, exhausted from crying and who had fallen asleep next to her, woke up to her sobs. He quickly sat on the bed, on her side, and took her in his arms. She knew, she had understood what had happened, and they were both crying in silence, mourning the little part of them that had lost. Their hearts were broken and in that moment, they did not know how they would get over this, or even if they just could get over this.

"Is this real? Did I really lose the baby?" Emily asked, still crying.

"Yes, we did." Aaron answered, still holding her tight in his arms.