9. We Picked the Wrong Father of Lies

It had, of course, been a ploy. The entire thing was a setup. Adam Milligan was not, in any circumstance, Michael's vessel. He could barely hold the Archangel for a day, let alone the battle of Armageddon.

So when Sam Winchester said yes, Michael was afraid. He thought Dean would fail him. He thought he would fail his father. For a second, he thought Lucifer would win. He truly did.

An hour later, Lucifer came to him. Even Lucifer didn't want to fight the final battle, when it wasn't a fair fight. It seemed that both of them wanted this to be worth something. If this was to be their last 'Sunday dinner', in the words of Gabriel, they would be equals. His brother spoke of a plan so ingenious that Michael had to follow it.

They met in an old, abandoned field in the middle of nowhere. As they waited, Lucifer tried to convince Michael, one last time, to join his side. The Archangel refused, as he always had.

Lucifer fought back, but this time he was less energetic about it. He'd been expecting that.

Then Dean Winchester arrived, and Michael almost grinned.

They'd expected that too.

"Hey, we need to talk." Dean said, leaning against the Impala. He acted like this hadn't been expected. He looked so sure of himself.

"Dean, even for you, this is a whole new mountain of stupid." Lucifer said. It was, in fact, true. It didn't matter though. In some ways, Dean Winchester could be insanely smart. In others, he shows up to Armageddon with a Chevy and a six pack.

"I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to Sam."

"You're no longer the vessel, Dean. You got no right to be here." It was almost painful to spit out such a lie. Michael was not like his brothers. He couldn't lie so easily. It was hard to be so false, when you're made to be perfect.

"Adam, if you're in there somewhere, I'm so sorry." This ignorance of the Angels inside the vessels was getting annoying.

"Adam isn't home right now." True. He'd sent him to his mother, just as he'd promised. He didn't lie like Zachariah. Just like he didn't lie when he said he'd kill Zachariah if he failed. Luckily, Dean did it for him.

"Well, then you're next on my list, buttercup. But right now, I need five minutes with him." Dean said, seeming to be in complete control of the situation. He was getting on Michael's nerves.

"You little maggot. You are no longer a part of this story!" He had to get back to the plan. All he had to do was get Dean here, and start the fight with Lucifer. Then, maybe-

"Hey, Assbutt!" And everything was on fire.

He came back into existence to find Dean and Lucif- no, Sam together. Sam had the rings in his hands. That was right about when the plan fell apart.

Sam dropped the rings on the ground and started chanting in Enochian (Who taught him Enochian?)

"Sam! It's not gonna end this way! Step back!" He pleaded. He couldn't fail. He couldn't fail his Father. If he did, he would never be forgiven. He couldn't do that to Heaven.

"You're gonna have to make me!" Sam said. He couldn't. Unlike his brothers and sisters, he had qualms about hurting humans. He couldn't do that to them. They were innocents, right? Heaven doesn't hurt innocents.

"I have to fight my brother, Sam! Here and now! It's my destiny!" Michael pleaded, knowing it wouldn't get through to the Winchester.

Sam leaned back, and Michael rushed to grab him. He couldn't fail.

Sam grabbed hold of him, and they fell into the pit. It was over. The plan failed.

'Please, Michael. Yes, dammit. Yes. Just bring back my brother. Michael? Bring him back. Michael!'

Michael and Dean Winchester were linked. They always would be. Michael could hear Dean's every thought. He always had.

So when he heard that prayer, he smiled. The plan hadn't failed. It worked.

Dean Winchester just did his part far too late.

Lucifer laughed about that for the next millennia.