The Speeches

Once the photos were taken, it was time to serve the dinner. When they had gotten to the main of Herb Crusted Cannon of Lamb, Rhodey had gotten up to prepare for the speeches.

"Okay everyone. Listen up. No I am not taking the speech right now, you have to listen to this soppy lot first. Okay, first up is the man who has given our Pepper away in the absence of her father. May I introduce Commander Steven Rogers."

Rhodey sat down as everyone applauded Steve standing up, "Okay, I am not the greatest at giving speeches. Today I know what I want to say. When Pepper asked me to give her away, I honestly was honoured, mainly because Pepper is an amazing woman who I hope, along with my own wife Wanda, and my friends, my daughter aspires to be when she is older. When I first met Tony, I think we would both agree that it took a while for us to… get on. It's surprising what some situations can does to make people bond."

"I'm not entirely sure an alien invasion sounds like the most appropriate place for bonding," Tony commented.

"I sort of meant that game you made us play that got you extremely drunk," Steve added. "Anyway, I cannot really say much else other than that I wish them all the luck and happiness in the world. To Pepper and Tony." Everyone raised their glasses of champagne. "Okay, moving on. We now have the man of the hour: Tony do you want to start?"

"Oh right. Um… I thought I had said everything I could in the vows, but I think there might be some more things that I could have said in the ceremony but the person who was supposed to be officiating the wedding told us to keep it short for some reason. Anyway, the first people I would like to thank are the bridesmaids, most notably our dear friend Natasha Romanoff who was chosen to be Pep's maid of honour. You ladies look splendid, and I am certain you did an excellent job help. I would also like to thank my own party for their continued support throughout this engagement, my best man Rhodey especially today. Most of all, I would like to thank Pepper, for agreeing to even marry me in the first place. I think we can both agree it was not the proposal I was planning but it turns out I did not need to plan what I was going to say in the first place; and I still stand by what I say: all that really mattered was that you make me happy, when I never thought I could be happy in a committed relationship. You make me happier than I thought I could ever be. I love you Pep, more than I can possibly say. Right, now we move onto the speech that we are all looking forward to: my best man Rhodey."

Once Tony had sat down, Rhodey got up with at least three sheets of paper. Everyone was curious about what sort of story could take up such length, especially since it was back and front.

"Right, so when these two became a couple, they looked like two seals trying to pass a grape between their tongues. I think today we can agree that nothing has changed. For those who might not know, I'm James Rhodes, the guy Tony selected to be his best man. Which makes sense, considering that it's been that way since the day we met. Loyal, caring, sincere, honest, a great, great man but that's enough about me though, I'm here to give a speech about Tony!

"Of course, the biggest responsibility for anyone in my position is the speech itself. As I've known Tony for such a long time, there's a time honoured tradition of dragging up embarrassing stories from his past. I must say if that's what you're looking for that today I'm afraid you're going to be disappointed. The truth is, I've stood side by side with him for many years now, through thick and thin. And in all that time, I've never seen anything but a man of integrity, honour, and impeccable good character. In addition I was usually with him, up to my neck in it so I think it's best to leave a lot of those memories well alone!

"I thought therefore that I would concentrate on trying to understand why someone has honourable and beautiful as Pepper would marry Tony? You'll be pleased to know that I'll add a sprinkle of character assassination for good measure. So what is so special about him? I'd like to share with you my thoughts.

"One reason to marry Tony is that he is exceptionally skilled; Tony can offend anyone on any topic at any time. People know this and steer clear of him at parties. Often, as a sign of respect, they don't even invite him anymore. Now Tony isn't known for his tact, but did you know it's possible to tell when Tony has offended someone - his lips will have moved.

"Another reason to marry Tony, he's a good looking guy. Unfortunately with Tony's obvious good looks comes a certain degree of vanity and when he was learning to drive, he particularly struggled with the Mirror Signal Manoeuvre thing. With him it was 'Mirror, Signal, Mirror, Manoeuvre and Mirror' again.

"He's hardworking and dedicated to the world of work. Tony has always given a hundred percent to every role. He started out as a loud mouthed, socially inept teenager. But even in that lowly role, he achieved a level of excellence. He was the most loud mouthed, most socially inept, adult you could ever imagine, and he's gone on to excel in those qualities ever since.

"Pepper, you're very lucky to have Tony as your partner in crime. Not only does he fight for his own goals, but I know he'll always put his best into making you happy and into achieving your shared goals.

"And Tony, you're very lucky to have someone who can dish back that trash talk and get as competitive as you during a game of Who Can Sass the Hardest. The answer turned out to be Steve Rogers if anyone wanted to know. Pepper is great at nursing your ego after it's been brutalized during another failed hobby. In all seriousness, you two make a great team. Your commitment to each other and determination to get the most out of life is an inspiration to us all.

"Ladies and gentleman, please join me in wishing Tony and Pepper every happiness life has to hold. To the seals."