Flippy didn't want to be in this situation at all. He didn't like it one single bit. He wished with every fiber of his being to be somewhere, anywhere else.
Flippy stood in front of the window of Abercrombie just staring, not moving a single muscle. He eyed all the clothes and all the mannequins and people like they were strange objects from another dimension, and the shoppers inside avoided walking past that window at all costs.
Flippy's date was tomorrow morning, and Splendid had asked him what he was going to wear. His honest, and sadly true, answer was what he was wearing then; blue jeans and his green army jacket. Splendid had slapped the side of his head and scolded him on being so horribly wrong that he was going to drag Flippy to the mall to get him an outfit himself. Much to Flippy's displeasure, he hadn't been kidding.
"Ready to go now," Splendid appeared beside him. He had gone to go throw away his soda cup across the street and returned to find Flippy exactly as he'd left him: looking stiff as a board and scared as hell.
"Nngh," Flippy grunted in response.
"Good," Splendid said, taking him by the shoulder and entering the store with him.
Upon entering, Flippy's senses were attacked by an array of things. Several girls rushed by talking and giggling and smelling so strongly of perfume he felt his face almost sink in on itself. Clothes and jewelry racks were all over, so many colors that it was hard to see straight. He trailed after Splendid, who was practically dragging him along now, and went face first into a mannequin wearing a provocative swim suit top and jean shorts. It knocked over to the side and he grabbed for it wildly, spinning on his heels and backing into a clothes rack. The hangers banged against each other and he pushed the mannequin off, falling through the clothes and crashing to the floor. When he looked up he saw a rather unimpressed Splendid standing over him, holding the mannequin in one arm.
"…Wow," was all he said before turning to replace the mannequin to its former spot and apologize to a concerned store clerk.
Flippy stood up, instantly hitting his head on the metal bar. He decided it was best to just stop all movement and sat back down on the floor, unwinding his arms from all the clothes and hangers. Flippy didn't go shopping for a lot of reasons; too many people, the prices are too high, there's always disgusting styles on display. But the number one reason was his uncanny ability to be an absolute klutz in shopping malls. He didn't do it consciously, it just seemed to happen. Even before he joined the army, Splendid would only go get clothes with Flippy when it was absolutely necessary and all his clothes were either full of holes or falling apart. After the time Flippy had set the dressing room sprinklers off and broken several glass display cases, Splendid was done with the whole shopping and being in public idea.
He stood over him now, extending a hand and hoisting his friend up.
"Please, and I mean PLEASE, try not to embarrass me too bad, okay," he hissed.
"Working on it," Flippy hissed back, dusting his shirt off.
The rest of the day consisted of two more stores and about $65 worth of new stuff. Flippy was so incredibly uninterested with clothes and fashion and whatever else was 'all the rage' that he was unsure what half the things were. But thankfully, Splendid had talent with style, and looking like a smug douche bag while effortlessly picking out the best stuff was just part of the package. Splendid was the most fashionable straight male Flippy had ever met. Cuddles had called him metrosexual once, but refused to explain what it meant when Flippy asked.
After two hours and only minor property damage, they sat in the food court with two bags and a tray of Chinese food.
"Do you really think that I'm going to able to pull all this off," Flippy asked quizzically, watching Splendid stab at the fried rice and orange chicken.
"It's not rocket science," his friend muttered back, licking his chopsticks.
Flippy wasn't a millionaire or anything, but he had a significant amount of money lying around from years of relative isolation. He was well off paying for the new outfit and had no trouble with mundane things like tickets and taxes. The idea of money and material possessions in general just didn't interest Flippy, so he never used them. When Splendid had seen Flippy open his wallet to pay for gas, his mouth had dropped and his eyes went wide. He shot Flippy a look of what looked like betrayal and then stalked off to the car. Now he sat in his living room, the bags untouched in the middle of the floor and the house completely still. Splendid had left about 30 minutes ago after giving Flippy a firm clap on the back and congratulating him on his expenditure into society, receiving a scowling but sincere thank you. All that was left of the day was a couple hours. Then it would be Tuesday, and Flippy would go out on his first 'date' since leaving for the army. And then everything would be great and awesome. All he had to do was get past the awkwardness of how he felt in the clothes. Slowly, he reached over and pulled out the faded jeans, the white V-neck shirt, and the plaid button up shirt. Then the black converse that he had to admit fit kind of nice.
It sounded stupid out loud, but Flippy didn't feel like he belonged in things like these. He knew he was a pretty nice looking guy and could pull of nice things like clothes and cool cars and girlfriends and such. But deep down, a little knot in his stomach told him he wasn't good enough. He wasn't supposed to be and never would be a part of a normal, functioning society. Why dress and act like they would? Why dress a wolf in sheep's clothing? When he was changing in the dressing room, taking off his shirt to reveal several deep, jagged scars that ran along his sides and back, Splendid hadn't said anything. He had seen them already and was so used to them it was like they didn't exist. But they did, and Flippy couldn't fool himself into believing they didn't when he saw the look on other peoples faces. A sales associate, a young girl around 18 with dark black hair and makeup that made her eyes look metallic, had walked over to hand Splendid a couple pairs of hangers when she turned and saw him. Flippy was walking out to showcase to Splendid the down right obnoxious shirt he had thrown his way, finishing fishing his arms through the sleeves, when she gasped and covered her mouth before apologizing and hurrying away. Flippy watched her go silently, stretching the fabric over his scar ridden abdomen and turning to look at Splendid who seemed oblivious.
"That one looks horrible," he'd said, touching his chin, "Here try this one.
Flippy scowled when he pulled the leather bracelet out of the smaller bag. He had put it on in the store with extreme difficulty, Splendid insisting that "Cool guys wear jewelry." He sat the bag down and ran a hand through his hair. He needed to be thinking of other things. He needed to be worried about Flaky instead of his Dolce and Gabana cologne. He flopped back down and stared daggers at the ceiling. To whoever it concerned, Flippy prayed for luck.
The next morning, the sun had decided to shine for about 20 minutes before retreating behind the clouds like a scared child. It cast a shadow on the town, one that threatened rain and wind and storms. Everyone was tensed for the thunder and lightening they expected to come at any minute. But it didn't come as Flippy got up from his bed and got ready, sliding into the new clothes after a hot shower and going out to his car. Splendid had sent him a text that morning that said, "Showtime", to which he replied, "I'm going to break a leg."
He left his house with a good 20 minutes to go pick up Flaky. He drove slow, trying to get his thoughts together and not let doubt cloud his vision. Of course, that worked for all of 5 minutes before he was running over every scenario in his head about what was going to go wrong and what was likely to happen WHEN things went wrong. He didn't even realize he was at Flaky's house until he was pulling into the driveway, his heart beating in his ears.
"Showtime," he whispered to himself, unbuckling his seat belt.