Feliciano couldn't stand this feeling. He thought his chest might cave in on itself, it hurt so bad - was this why they called it heartbreak?

He hadn't meant to eavesdrop on Ludwig and Gilbert. It had just happened. And now, sitting here, curled up on a damp park bench in the chill of dusk, he was regretting ever going to visit Ludwig in the first place. It was just so unfair! Feliciano had never had anything but good intentions and nice things to say about Ludwig - and the other man had just stabbed him in the back, simple as that.

"Feliciano! What are you doing here?"

The Italian sat straight up and whirled around to see the one person he would have given anything to avoid.

"And why aren't you wearing a coat? Honestly, it's not summer anymore, you know . . ." Ludwig strode over, a characteristic frown on his face.

"I . . ."

"I just can't leave you alone, can I?" Heaving a sigh, Ludwig slipped off his own coat and draped it over Feliciano's shoulders. "Come on, let's get you home."

"N - no." Feliciano crossed his arms and settled firmly into the bench seat.

"Hmm?" Ludwig raised an eyebrow.

"I - I don't want someone who doesn't even want to be my friend take me home!"

". . . What are you talking about?"

"You don't even think of me as a friend! So I - I also don't want to be your friend!"

"What are you going on about now?" Ludwig asked. "Is this something to do with pasta again?"

"No - well, yes!"

"What's with this recent bout of insecurity? Didn't you ask me last week if we were really friends?"

". . . Yes, but . . ."

"And didn't I say yes?"

"Yes, but . . ."

"So what's the problem? You get the silliest ideas, I swear - "

"YOU LIED!" Feliciano cried. "You lied when you said that we were friends! Because I heard you when you were talking to Gilbert, and you said I was only good to have around to do cooking, so that means you really don't like me, which means we're not friends, so I don't want to see you ever again because it hurts - "

"Feliciano," Ludwig said sternly. "You were eavesdropping on me?"

"No," he said defensively. "I mean, not on purpose . . ."

"Well. I can tell you that this is all a misunderstanding, all right?" He crossed his arms. "If you'd heard the whole conversation . . . speaking of which, how much did you hear?"

"Well . . . just the part about how I'm only good to have around for food . . ."

Ludwig groaned. "Feliciano . . . this is a misunderstanding. I didn't say that I only liked you for your food. . ."

"West! I'm home!"

"Hey. I'm heating up some wurst, you want?"

"You bet your ass I do. Hit me with a beer, too."

"Get your own!"

"Ugh. You should be nicer to your older brother, you know that?"

"You should be nicer to me, then."

". . . Nah."

"Exactly."

"Oh, hey, West. What's with that flyer for the gay bar I found?"

"Oh, that. Er, I just . . . a friend gave it to me. It was a mistake, of course. I would never - "

"It was Feli, wasn't it?"

". . . Yes."

"Knew it. Why do you put up with him, really? I mean, I guess he's kind of cute. If you swing that way. But other than that . . ."

"I know what you mean . . . but . . . although there are times when I think Feliciano is only worth keeping around for the food he makes . . . it's just . . . there's something about him that just . . . I can't push him away. He may be clumsy, and careless, and stupid, and whiny, and annoying but . . . he is also very open and honest, and he tries to do the right thing, always, and he tries to be a good person, and he is really very kind. And, uh, well, like you said . . . he's not exactly hard on the eyes."

"God, West. Do you seriously like him like that?"

". . . Maybe."

"Oh hold up. Don't tell me that's why you asked me where Francis was the other day."

"What?"

"When you were looking for Francis . . . I mean, you normally can't stand him, and yet you were actually seeking him out . . . please don't tell me you were going to him for love advice."

". . ."

"Oh COME ON, West! I am your big brother! You couldn't just ask me? What is wrong with you?"

"But you're straight! How would you know anything?"

"How do you know I'm straight? Huh?"

"Because I do. Because you've been lusting after our cousin's wife since forever."

"Yeah, well . . . how do you know I don't suddenly have a boyfriend now? Who happens to be someone that we both know - "

"Because you don't. Look, Gilbert, thanks for offering to give me advice, but I don't want to hear it. I'm going to make this work without your help."

"So you see," Ludwig concluded, "if you'd just stayed to hear the whole conversation . . ."

"You really do like me!" Feliciano cried joyfully. "Oh, I'm so happy!"

He sprang up from the bench and hugged Ludwig tightly.

"Yes," Ludwig murmured, "I really do like you." Tentatively, he wrapped his muscular arms around Feliciano; the latter seemed to take this as a cue to nestle in tighter.

"Um," Ludwig said. Feliciano could feel the vibrations of the deep voice in the center of the deep chest, and he grinned; only a minute ago he'd been convinced that he would never again be able to be close to Ludwig like this, and now - !

"How much do you like me?" Feliciano pressed.

"Uh," Ludwig said.

"Hmm?"

"Well, I like you, of course," Ludwig stammered. "Um, you know . . ."

"Do you like me as much as I like you?"

"I - I suppose so . . ."

"So you like me a lot?"

"Yes . . ."

"I'm glad." Feliciano tipped his head back to gaze up at Ludwig. "So - "

"I really think we ought to get you home," Ludwig interrupted. Disentangling himself from the Italian's grip, he ruffled his hair. "Now that everything's cleared up, you don't have any objection to my walking you home?"

"Well, no," Feliciano said, disappointed. "But it's just - "

"Or - well - you could come with me while I do my grocery shopping. That's why I'm out and about, after all." He shrugged. "An extra pair of hands would be helpful."

"And - and could I come over to your house afterward?" Feliciano asked hopefully.

"Of course."

Feliciano beamed. "Well, then what are we waiting for! Let's go!"

"ANTONIO!" Lovino pounded relentlessly on the door. "Open the fuck up!"

The sound of that voice was enough to rouse Antonio; he'd been dozing off at his kitchen table, a mug of hot cocoa half-empty and cold in front of him, but now he stood up immediately and went to the door. He closed his hand on the handle, then hesitated.

"Open up, damn it!" Lovino yelled.

"Why should I?" Antonio asked softly.

"So I can come in, why else?"

"But why should I let you in?"

"Hey. You bothered me first, okay. So don't start complaining now, 'cause I'm just returning the favor." He huffed. "You wanted to talk earlier, you won't even look at me now. What gives?"

"I wanted to talk before I knew you were dating my friend." Just saying the words hurt - Antonio squeezed his shirt at the center of his chest, steadying himself.

"So how about now that I'm not dating your friend anymore? You wanna talk now?"

The door swung open; Antonio, pale-faced, reached forward and took Lovino by the arm.

"Why?" he asked in a low voice, his fingers biting into Lovino's flesh. "Why'd you do that?"

"Jesus, let go of me!" Lovino yelped, prying himself loose. "Why d'you think I came over here? I'm gonna explain, damn it! Calm the fuck down, will you?"

"No!" Antonio said. He wasn't calm, wasn't capable of calming down, wasn't himself. "I - you just - I thought I'd never - "

"IT WASN'T FOR REAL!" Lovino bellowed. "We weren't really dating, and we didn't really have sex, so will you please shut the fuck up and let me talk!"

"You - ?"

Lovino glared at him and led the way to Antonio's living room. "I'll explain. Douchebag."

"Hello?"

"Yo, Lovino?"

"Uh, who's this?"

"It's Gilbert."

"Gilbert who?"

"Gilbert Beillschmidt! Awesome older brother of Ludwig? Creamy white skin, blood red eyes, dashingly silver hair? Ringin' any bells?"

"Oh, crazy albino kraut."

"You mean crazy awesome albino kickass dude!"

"No, I meant what I said. So what's up?"

"Oh, I was calling about our brothers."

"What about them?"

"Well . . . they're getting a little too close for my tastes, lately."

"So?"

"So we should do something about it!"

"Why?"

"Because I don't want them to . . . you know. Be together."

"Why not?"

"Well. I mean, my brother is such a good, hardworking guy, and yours is just . . . unreliable. They'd be so bad together. And Feliciano'd probably run around with other guys or maybe other girls, 'cause he just loves to flirt, and then West would be really bummed out. And since we live together I'd be the one who'd have to cheer him up, and well, since he's pretty much my responsibility anyway, why not make sure the whole mess never even happens?"

"Bullshit."

"What?"

"You're talking bullshit. You don't give a damn whether or not they're happy together. There's some other reason."

"I don't know what you're talking about, I'm a good older brother - "

"BULLSHIT. Come on, you're the worst older brother I've ever seen, what's your real reason for wanting them apart?"

". . . You're so harsh, man. Alright, so maybe I just don't want Feliciano to move in here."

"Yeah, I had a feeling it'd be something like that."

"Well, can you blame me? It's always been me and West, just livin' like bros, and if Feliciano moved in . . . well, it'd just be ruined for one thing, and for another I might have to actually move out!"

"What's to stop those two from getting their own apartment?"

"My dad. He says if anyone's gonna move out it should be me. He's always favored West . . ."

"Hmm. Well, sucks for you. But what makes you think I share this opinion?"

"Huh?"

"I don't want them to stay apart. I want them to get together."

"What the hell? Why?"

"You're complaining that you don't want Feliciano to move in with you two. Well, I'm living with him right now. And let me tell you, he is obsessed with the blond kraut big time. He just will not shut up about Ludwig this, Ludwig that . . . and I, unlike you, actually want what's best for my little brother. So if he wants to move in with Ludwig, who am I to stop him?"

". . . So basically, you want to have that apartment to yourself?"

"Basically."

"Ugh. Well you're no help. I was gonna suggest, why don't you and I pretend to be together, and be like the worst couple ever, and then scare those two into not going out so they wouldn't end up like us."

"That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

"Hey, it's a start, okay? I seriously think they'd be terrified of going out if they saw us together."

"Are you kidding me? If Feliciano saw us together, he'd be overjoyed. He'd say, 'Oh, you've finally realized how nice those brothers are! Let's have a double date!'"

"I shudder at the thought."

"Same. But if anything, seeing us together would get them together faster, not break them apart."

"Okay, you know what? If you really think that . . . let's go out! I'll prove you wrong!"

"Sure. You're the one who's wrong, anyway, so I have nothing to lose."

"Cool. Man, as soon as West finds out - "

"Don't tell him yet, though."

"Why not?"

"Let's tell them when they're together, and then we'll see the immediate effect."

"Yeah, okay."

"Prepare yourself for a new housemate. A fluffy new housemate. Named Feliciano. Ahh, I'll finally be able to get laid~"

"What? We're not doing that!"

"I didn't mean with you, dumbass. I've just never been able to take anyone home with me with Feliciano around . . ."

"Oh, right. Good. 'Cause, no offense or anything, but there is no way I'd ever sleep with you . . ."

"Same."

"Good - hey, what the hell? You don't want to sleep with me?"

"Nah, you probably suck in bed. Plus . . . aren't you straight?"

"Yeah."

"Although I've never actually seen you with a girl . . ."

"There's only one girl for me. And she's taken."

". . . I see."

"So don't worry. This relationship definitely won't become real."

"It was just kind of a bet," Lovino concluded, running a hand through his hair. "I thought if we were together it'd make Feliciano and Ludwig get together faster, he thought it'd be the opposite. And if you think of it like a bet, then the prize the winner gets is not having to live with Feliciano."

Antonio slumped backwards into his couch; throughout the entirety of Lovino's rapid, confusing narrative, he'd been on the edge of his seat, brows knit and mouth drawn into a tense line. Now he felt like shouting with relief, though he opted instead to simply beam radiantly at Lovino. His boneless limbs were loose with the giddiness that coursed through him, but not for one moment did he stop to think about why exactly he was so happy.

"So that's what happened," Lovino said. "And no one but Feliciano and Ludwig were ever supposed to know about this little fake relationship me and Gilbert had."

The haze of euphoria cleared a bit. "Uhh . . ."

"And for some reason, I don't know why, I stupidly chose to tell you. And then you, I don't even . . . you fucking told my brother."

"Er . . . see, about that - "

"And then he basically said to me that he never wanted to associate with Ludwig ever again."

"That . . . actually has an explanation," Antonio said meekly. "I mean, it doesn't really have to do with you and Gilbert. He was upset because he was afraid Ludwig didn't really like him . . . I don't think he was right . . . but then, I don't remember, I guess it kind of slipped out that you two - "

Lovino sighed. "Okay, whatever."

There was a long stretch of silence.

"So . . . are you mad at me or not?" Antonio said finally.

"Mad?" Lovino seemed almost startled by the question. "Well it was just a bet."

"Just a . . ." Antonio gasped. He sat straight up. "Oh, Lovi. A bet. Of course! Ah, but it was just a bet? I'm sure you still want to win it, though?"

"I already lost, dumbass."

"But you could still get your brother to move in with Ludwig, potentially, no?"

"I guess . . ."

"Well. I made you lose the original bet, what do you say I help you win it back?"

Lovino narrowed his eyes. "What's . . . why?"

"Oh, just to undo the damage I've done." Antonio's eyes were sparkling, and he rubbed his hands together in anticipation.

"You've got some other motive, don't you?" Lovino said. He pointed an accusatory finger. "You just want to get some kind of revenge on Gilbert!"

"Oh, no, that's not it at all!"

"Then what?"

"Well . . . I was just hoping you might be able to help me out with a bet of my own," Antonio said hesitantly. His heart began to beat faster. "It's between me and Francis."

"Ugh. It's probably something perverted," Lovino said, wrinkling his nose in distaste. "Count me the fuck out."

"Lovi, please," Antonio pleaded. "I just need you to help me with one thing, for one night. And in return I'll help you get Feli and Ludwig together."

"What is it that you need me for?" Lovino asked suspiciously.

"Nothing too strenuous," Antonio said with a nervous laugh. Liar, he thought.

"And nothing too perverted?"

"It's fine, I promise!" Lies.

"So why won't you tell me?"

"It's a surprise, Lovi. It's part of the bet that I can't tell you beforehand." Lies.

"Okay, I'm not fucking doing anything until you get those two together. Then we can talk. Maybe." Lovino crossed his arms.

"Oh, excellent! I'm so glad!" Truth. "You won't regret this, Lovi!" Lies. Antonio gave an internal cringe, hoping he wasn't digging himself into too deep of a hole here.

"I better not."

a/n: fudgemonkeys this is so late. I actually wrote it a while ago, but I felt it wasn't complete, so I wanted to write more...but when that clearly wasn't happening, I figured I'd just post this sorry excuse for a chapter before November (aka tomorrow) rolled around, thus marking the beginning of Nanowrimo. Yes, there will be probably no updates until December. Sorry about that.

But regardless of whether or not you're following this story, or just read through it quickly, or whatever... thank you so much for reading this far! And thank you for reviewing. I'm sorry I haven't had as much time as I would have liked to work on this story... and I'm really impatient to write the last part orz... but yeah, thanks! :D

and I miss Francis and Arthur lol.