Hello lovely readers :') this weekend you get two new chapters because I've been just so terrible with updating this one! If I get lazy just send me death threats or something?

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

When Blair woke, she found Chuck, gazing longingly at her, she'd briefly forgotten why his dark eyes looked so mournful, why he wasn't smiling. Blair propped herself up on one elbow and touched his cheek with her fingertips, she was curious to know why he looked so crest-fallen.

"What is it, Chuck? Is everyth- Oh." She threw herself back against the pillow and sighed. "I remember." She stole a glance at Chuck, who was still staring at her, his expression beyond painful.

"Do we really need to do this?" He asked her, a glimmer of hope shining in his voice. "I mean, we could just take things a little more slowly and see how it goes. We don't have to break it off!" Chuck was almost like a child, his voice full of false promise; making offers that he knew she'd never be able to accept. Blair huffed and sat up, resting her back against the headboard.

"I love you so much, Charles Bass. I want to marry you and live with you. I'd love those things more than all the shoes in the world!" He let her peculiar little comparison slide because she'd likely not eaten in the last couple of days.

"I love you too, Blair. More than you'll ever know. We'll have all those things, and all the shoes as well, if that's what you want." He promised her whole heartedly. "But can you do one thing for me?" He asked her.

She nodded and murmured a simple, "yes".

"Keep the necklace on." He begged her.

Blair's hand instinctively flew to her neck, where the diamond engagement ring was nestled at the bottom of a long silver chain, beneath her slip.

"I'll never take it off, if only to be re-sized when it finally ends up on my finger." She told him with confidence, clasping the ring in her fist.

Chuck stroked her hair and kissed her forehead softly. When he drew his lips away, he saw her staring up at him, eyes filled with unadulterated lust. Before either of them knew what was happening, they were ferociously kissing. Her mouth opened beneath his and his tongue invaded her mouth with more force than he usually demonstrated. He changed his stance quickly, so she was positioned on top of his chest. Neither of them broke the kiss as they explored each others bodies further, he pushed her slip past her thighs and bit her bottom lip as she raked her fingers down his abdomen. Chuck turned so that he was on top of Blair. He paused momentarily, searching for her approval, she couldn't form a coherent thought so she just nodded; it was enough in the way of permission for Chuck. Tenderly, he prised her knees apart and stroked them, burying his head below the duvet to kiss the insides of her thighs and flick his tongue against her. She cried out in pleasure but pulled him back up to her mouth for more greedy kisses. She dug her nails into his lower back and seized hold of his ass, squeezing it.

"Please. I need you now." She begged in a hoarse whisper.

He guided himself towards her entrance and teased her momentarily before swiftly thrusting into her. They both moaned in bliss and her back arched up off the bed. She looped her arms around his waist for support as he continued to push into her as far as she could take him. They made love until they were both too tired to carry on, for Blair and Chuck knew that sex changed nothing.

-
Chuck woke first, it was 4pm and their bodies were still entwined, just how they ought to be. But Chuck carefully peeled Blair off of him and covered her up with the soft duvet. The hardest thing he had to do was let Blair go, and now it felt like it was happening all over again. Chuck found a pen and paper in Blair's nightstand and wrote her a quick note. A tear escaped his eye and he quickly wiped it away before leaning in to kiss her forehead. Her sleeping form didn't stir, she only smiled in her sleep. With a final longing glance at the only woman he'd ever love, Chuck gathered his belongings and crept downstairs- a worried looking Dorota was there to meet him, the maid had an expression of compassion.

"Let me make some tea, yes?" She fussed, staring up at him. He simply shook his head and sighed.

"Thank you, Dorota, but I really should be going before she wakes. We both need to recover." He told her. Dorota nodded in understanding and watched as he disappeared into the elevator out of the penthouse, and what she assumed was out of Blair's life.

-
Blair woke with a start, she'd dreamed that she and Chuck were moving in together, into a beautiful brownstone townhouse, she was at least four months pregnant and they looked happier than ever. But when she turned over to find him and tell him of her dream, he was gone. A single piece of paper lay on her pillow and she noticed the bedrooms emptiness. Tears started to form in Blair's eyes as she reached for the note.

"My Dearest Blair," The note read.

"You must understand that leaving you this morning has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

But you are the only thing in the world that I care about, so if you asked something of me, I'd do it,

no questions asked. The events of last night were not a mistake, more of a momentary goodbye.

I'm not sure how long I'll be capable of living without you by my side, but we can try to remain

separated for the good of our relationship- one I still believe in with all of my heart.

If you ever need anything, I am at your ready disposal. You can call me anytime, anywhere.

I love you more than words can describe.

Stay true to yourself, Blair Waldorf

Yours forever

Chuck"

As she read the letter, Blair's heart felt as though it was tearing into tiny pieces. Chuck Bass had broken her heart far too many times, this time he wasn't even trying and she was still a mess without him.

She would not let herself lie in bed, feeling sorry for herself all day. The only way to feel better was to get up and do something. She jumped into the shower in her bathroom- remembering just what had occurred in her bedroom during the early hours of the morning. She couldn't help but grin impishly to herself as she rinsed the foamy shampoo out of her hair. Blair dressed in a white peplum top and pleated mini-skirt combination, her shoes were bright metallic shades and she braided her dark hair adorning it with one of her signature headbands- today a bejeweled, pink affair. She spritzed herself with Chanel No.5- a gift from Chuck since most of her supply had stayed in France- and made her way downstairs.

"Miss Blair!" Dorota exclaimed, somewhat shocked to see Blair fully dressed and ready to go. Dorota had planned to spoil the young Miss Waldorf rotten today, she was actually about to collect a box of 22 assorted macarons- Blair's most favourite indulgence.

"Yes, Dorota?" Blair responded in a cheery voice.

"Why you up?" Her maid questioned her. Blair smiled at Dorota, clearly she'd seen Chuck leave.

"I can't lose myself because I've lost Chuck. Besides, technically speaking, I've not lost him at all, we're simply on hiatus before we return to each other, have New York's most prestigious wedding and conquer Manhattan together!" She said dreamily. "Would I be correct to assume that you saw him this morning?" Blair inquired. Dorota shifted her weight.

"Yes. look very heartbroken when he leave." Dorota told Blair, with honesty. Blair's smile dropped as she thought of Chuck in pain, pain that she'd caused him.

"Oh, okay. Right. Well, I'm going to the atelier for a few hours- call me if I'm needed please, Dorota."

-
When Chuck arrived back at his suite in the Empire, he threw himself onto the couch, burying his face in the cushions scattered across it. He groaned loudly and kicked his shoes off, hugging his knees to his chest. He heard his phone buzz on the glass coffee table but didn't even bother looking to see who it was. He needed to mourn, forget and move on. Chuck lifted himself off of the couch and made his way to the mini bar, grabbing the carafe of whisky that sat behind the bar. The amber liquid served to soothe Chuck Bass in his worst of times, this was definitely one of those times, he decided as he poured the alcohol into a glass and necked it, glass after glass. When he was so drunk that he could hardly feel, Chuck remembered that he had some things of Blair's at the suite- and now would probably be a better time than any to return them? He stumbled into the bedroom that they once shared and opened one of her many bags, haphazardly knocking all of her cosmetics, jewellery and perfume bottles into it. Glass broke but he didn't care, he continued to shove any of her visible possessions inside of the bag. Once he'd zipped the overstuffed bag shut, he made his way to her home.

-
It was 11pm when Chuck got to Blair's. He burst through the elevator door to find Dorota carrying a tray of tea towards the stairs. She stopped in her tracks when she saw Chuck charge upstairs, taking multiple steps at a time.

"It very late! You must not go in there-" Dorota stopped when she could no longer hear footsteps. She huffed discontentedly, but instead of pursuing Chuck, she decided to return to the kitchen. She shut the door and decided to stay out of Blair's business, as she certainly would not be thanked by Blair for interruption.

Blair's door swung open just as she was tying the string of her silken robe. She turned around, expecting to see Dorota, but instead found Chuck, evidently completely intoxicated and carrying one of her luggage bags on his shoulder.

"What are you doing here Chuck?" Blair stared at him with confusion as he slung her bag to the floor with a thud and started towards her.

"I came to return all your shit." He slurred. Blair was taken aback by his mind-set, he seemed so angry. When he reached her, he pulled her so close to him that their noses were almost touching.

"Thank you." She whispered, unsure that she could actually speak without her voice betraying her emotions. She could smell the whisky on his hot breath and felt weak at the knees.

"You're most welcome, princess." He murmured, curling his hand around her waist. Blair knew it was wrong, that they'd be right back at square one, but she no longer cared. Sometimes, living in the moment was good enough for her where he was concerned.

"I've missed this." He purred, his voice thick with desire as he leaned in to capture her bottom lip between his teeth. She gasped and twisted in his arms. He pulled her robe apart, revealing her sweet, satin La Perla's to him. His hand explored every plane of her silky skin, from her abdomen to her thighs. He watched in the mirror as her eyes rolled back in her head when he kissed her neck. She turned to face him, burying her head in his neck and running her hands all over his shirt clad chest. He guided them to her bed without breaking contact. He sat down and held her hips as she stood above him. They stared at each other for a moment before she caressed his face.

"It's been barely eight hours." Blair sighed, leaning over Chuck so that they were now lying together. She wriggled beneath him as he tended to every curve of her body, kissing her neck, claiming her legs and nipping at her shoulder. She moaned contentedly and grabbed his hair in her fists, pulling it.

Unfortunately, her conscience kicked in and Blair couldn't knock the feeling nagging at her gut that she was making a mistake. With much regret, she roughly shoved Chuck off of her body so that she could sit back and get her thoughts together. He landed on the floor with a loud thump and when he eventually re-surfaced, Chuck looked the epitome of disgruntled.

"What the fuck, Waldorf?" He growled at her. "I thought we were having a good time!" He rubbed the side of his head and glared at her. Blair hopped off of the bed and went to help him up. He ignored the hand which she guiltily extended to him and exhaled sharply, pulling himself up from the carpeted floor of her bedroom. Blair sank back down on the bed.

"We can't do this. It goes against every rule we made." She explained. "Chuck, you didn't sleep with anyone for a whole year, I think you can go a few weeks." Blair tried to joke light-heartedly. He moved over to her and stood behind her, moving her hair from her ear, he leaned in and whispered

"I want you baby, why won't you come to me?"

Blair shuddered and it took all of her will power to refuse, but if they could ever have a chance at a relationship, one of them needed to be sensible. So Blair tore away from him and fiercely tied her robe at the waist- a flimsy scrap of silk which she was sure Chuck would much prefer that she shed.

"I don't understand why you keep denying me." He said, his tone slightly hurt. "Don't you remember what we had two years ago? A secret relationship. We can do that now. We'll have all the good parts of a relationship, like the sex, but none of the stress of being a public item." He thought that his suggestion was plausible and couldn't understand her refusal to agree to it.

"Of course I remember that." Blair snapped back at him. He was behaving like a teenager. "But do you remember how that ended? We'd be in a constant power struggle, Chuck and that's the very reason that I suggested we go our separate ways before coming together in Monte Carlo. Besides, if you only want me for sex then I'm sure you could find someone else with fewer strings attached."

Chuck scoffed, ignoring her last stab. "It only ended because you're obsessed with power!" He accused, knowing he would hit a nerve. Her expression dropped into a plea for him to stop but he didn't. "All you care about is being talked about. You say that I'm important to you, but if I was, you wouldn't care about being powerful and we could have the life that you claim to want!" Chuck was furious with himself but it didn't stop him. In truth, Blair needed to hear what he had to say. "You've used me like a doormat- You've used Serena like a doormat too and that's why she didn't tell you that she's on her way home!" He finished, his voice raised to a yell.

"What." Blair drew the word out slowly, scarily so. "How long have you known she was coming back?!" She screeched at him, thumping her fists against his chest in a fit of pure rage.

"Three days." He spat back at her, grabbing her wrists and pushing her attacks away.

"How dare you not tell me?" She shot at him, her eyes full of rage.

"She didn't want me to! And I understand why! Maybe she was right not to forgive you for all of your shit, Blair." Chuck cried, under the influence of alcohol or not, these were his feelings and he needed to expel them.

"Well if you've not forgiven me either then why don't you just go and sleep with Serena instead of coming over here like a pathetic teenager!" She was disgusted by his betrayal, they were supposed to tell each other things.

"You didn't seem to be complaining when you were moaning into my mouth!" He shouted. "But perhaps I will- all your other boyfriends did, so what's one more?"

Blair felt like he'd punched her in the gut. "Low blow, Bass. Even for you." She said, her voice was weak. "Why don't you just leave?"

"Wow, Blair. Way to take the moral high ground when it was you who left me hanging for Hum Drum Humphrey after I waited for you all fucking year. But do you know what? I think I will leave. Goodnight, Blair." Chuck hissed as he maneuvered his way out of her bedroom. Blair sat on her bed, head in hands as she cried softly to herself. She wasn't even sure why they were doing this anymore. It clearly would never work for them, they had six years of proof and the pain that ensued. But neither one of them could ever stop loving each other. They'd have to find a way to make it work or forever be in this limbo of a relationship.

-
Chuck was so angry that he couldn't even consider waiting for his car to collect him, so he walked. Chuck had never been a keen walker, but it certainly helped to calm him down and think over things. Now he was so unsure of who he was angry at, that he found himself walking up and down Blair's street. He needed to talk to her again, to apologise for all that he'd said to hurt her. But he wasn't sure if seeing her would flare up his anger once more and he'd truly ruin things; that was if he hadn't already. Just as he'd resolved to head back to the Waldorf penthouse to beg for forgiveness, his phone started to buzz. It was only then that he realised he had three missed calls from Serena. Answering the phone, he expected her to bite his ear off about not returning her calls. Naturally, he was correct in thinking so. She demanded that he come to the empire to talk to her, that she was waiting outside and whatever slut he was with could wait- she was family. Serena did make a lot of good points during her rant, but when Chuck snapped his phone shut, he was utterly torn. Apologise to Blair, the only woman he would ever love - a girl he had just emotionally destroyed. Or go and find Serena, his step sister and long time friend who had just arrived home on a plane after a stressful trip to Thailand?