Disclaimer: **Knocks** Darcy answers the door, she looks at The Woman at the other end, "Dude, I ain't buying whatever you're selling." she slams the door. The Woman knocks again, Darcy opens the door again. "But it's really important" The Woman counters, "Whatever dude, if you knock one more time..." Darcy leaves her threat uncompleted as she closes the door.
The Woman calls her bluff and knocks once more, Darcy opens the door, but this time she's armed with her trusty taser gun, she proceeds to taser her with manic glee "WarriorShock Bitches!" she yells as she closes the door. The Woman in excruciating pain mumbles "I...own...nothing."
"Greetings Jane, Erik..." Sif nods at Jane and Erik, they respond in kind. "and..." Sif looks around the living room for Darcy. Darcy appears at the doorway and smirks at Sif. "Greetings Darcy" Sif successfully hides her blush, those centuries of training and battle coming into use. "Hello you" Darcy drawls, while she observes Sif with barely hidden lust. "Nice to see the guns are out to play. You're pretty cut for a homeless alien." Darcy winks and grabs her phone "Hey Xena, smile for the camera."
Sif quietly berates herself for not wearing the collared shirt she was given, she was still in the state of dress, when Darcy appeared, so she was still in just the tank top and jeans. Sif was not going to give Darcy the benefit of catching her off guard again after last night's "Animal Planet" lesson. If this young Midgardian thought she'd got the better of her, she hadn't seen anything yet.
Sif proceeds to drop her shirt as nonchalantly as possible, she sits down on the chair opposite Darcy, pulls out her best killer smile – the one she uses to get The Warriors Three to do her bidding. She watches as Darcy sharply takes in her breath and fumbles with the camera, after a few precious seconds Darcy finally takes the picture. She looks at the picture, "Wow, she's all kinds of hot, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to tease her, th-... Wait, what's she doing now?!"
Sif gets up, walks around the table and stands in front of Darcy, she takes her all in, she leans into Darcy. Darcy gasps and closes her eyes, while Sif continues her journey, but instead of stopping at her lips – which Darcy was suddenly craving instead of Oxygen – Sif stops at her ear and whispers seductively "I need sustenance."
Sif pulls away with a smirk, she watches Darcy go through stages from barely contained want to not-so contained frustration as her brain finally connects the dots. "Yup, I should never tease Xena, Alien warrior Princess, she doesn't play fair."
Darcy adjusts herself before turning to Jane and Erik, "Xena needs to get fed."
++Lady Sif++
"Fair maiden, could I please have another of this excellent beverage?" Sif smiles at the waitress, she blushes "You can have anything you want." The waitress quickly scribbles her name – Sandy – and her number on a napkin, she comes*over their table – a bit too eager. She leans over Sif as she pours coffee into her cup, she subtly – as a cat on a hot tin roof - slips her number onto Sif's hand. Sif smiles as she looks at Darcy, who is sitting opposite her. Darcy tries to look nonchalant, but due to Sif's winning play in their previous tête à tête, she is still frustrated and maybe just a little bit jealous. Sif observing her uneasiness, walks up to the waitress, who is now at her station, they exchange a few words, she kisses her hand and walks back to the table.
Darcy is intrigued, "What did you guys just talk about?" she asks curiously. "I informed her that...what were your words, during that delightful Animal Planet lesson?" Sif leans forward, her tall frame easily letting her meet Darcy on the other side of the table. "By All-Father, I remember... I told her I was owned." on the last word Sif's voice drops into a husky whisper, she winks and Darcy blushes.
Jane and Erik feel like the proverbial third wheel on a very awkward date, since they are being ignored by the other two occupants, while all four are sharing the same table. "She might be an alien or a very well-trained homeless individual, but it looks like Darcy has met her match." Jane wonders. "This is just a crazy homeless woman, who knows a lot of Norse mythology. She might have been found in the middle of an intergalactic phenomenon, that doesn't make her an alien." Erik mentally concludes.
++Lady Sif++
Chuck enters the diner, he is pissed off – his golden goose has been taken away from him. He only had it for a day, but it was the best day's work, he had ever had and the goddamn government took it away from him! "Space debris, my goddamn ass! I know a Hammer when I see one. Ra-dio-ac-tive! Freakin' pencil pushers want it for ya-selves!"
"Hi Sandy, could ya give me ma usual please, extra hot." Chuck smiles at Sandy. "No problem Chuck" Sandy responds. Sif walks up to Chuck "My good man, which way?" she asks. "Fifty miles away west from here, but it looked like the whole damn Army camped there." Chuck responds. As Sif walks away, Sandy calls to her attention "Hey, whenever you're not..." Sandy looks at Darcy, then back at Sif "...taken. My shift ends at 6pm on weekdays and I'm free on weekends." she winks at Sif. Sif smiles and thanks her, while pulling a bow Fandral would have been proud of. Sandy blushes, Darcy pouts "Damn you Xena!" Sif approaches Darcy, Jane and Erik, "I apologise, I must depart and reclaim Mjolnir. Thank you for your hospitality." Sif leaves the diner, the others follow her.
Sif walks into traffic determined, her centuries of existence not helping her to understand the simple Midgardian rules of road safety and pavements. "Meow Meow... What's a Meow Meow?" Darcy asks, while she admires Sif's determined gait as she tries to catch up with her.
"You've got to be kidding me, she really believes she's the goddess of thunder and War, this madness must be stopped!" Erik shakes his head. "This could be the scientific discovery of the century!" Jane exclaims, barely containing her glee.
Darcy catches up to Sif, "Where are you going?" she asks. "Fifty miles west, to reclaim what is mine."
"I don't think the spooks will let you just take it..." Darcy tries to reason with her.
"I can and I will" Sif replies smugly, she believes her father has forgiven her, she believes All-Father has seen reason, forgetting her new found reason, her pride is renewed – she will leave this planet. She looks away from Darcy, before she gets distracted by her and looks at Jane, killer smile in place and says "If you take me there now, I will tell you all that you wish to know." Jane is about to lose her resolve "Really?" she asks hopefully. "Yes, all the answers you seek will be yours, once I reclaim Mjolnir."
"Again, what's a Meow Meow? And if you're high, I want some of whatever you're smoking." Darcy states hating the fact that Sif has blatantly ignored her. Erik takes Jane aside again, Darcy follows.
"Please don't do this" Erik pleads, "You saw what I saw last night, this no coincidence" Jane retorts, while Darcy sneaks a glance at Sif. "I am not talking about the crater Jane" Erik sighs, "I am talking about her...she's delusional talking about Mjolnir, she really thinks she's a goddess. These are the stories I grew up hearing as a child from my grandmother." Jane begins to see some reason, but decides that science needs this "I am just going to drive her... that's it."
"She's dangerous, remember what she did to the doctor?" Erik hammers the final nail, Jane sighs in defeat. Darcy tries to defend Sif, but Erik turns to her "Don't even think about it, we all know what you want." Darcy backs down, barely hiding her blush.
Jane walks up to Sif, "I am sorry, I can't take you" Jane sighs to Sif. "This is where we say goodbye" Sif replies, "Goodbye Dr. Jane Foster." she says as she shakes Jane's hand. She walks up to Erik "Goodbye Dr. Erik Salvig" and also shakes his hand. Then she faces Darcy "Goodbye..." she kisses Darcy's hand "...Darcy Lewis". Darcy replies with a shy thank you and she giggles when Sif whispers in her ears "We will finish our lesson, later...I promise." Sif stands up and then bids them all farewell with a curt bow.
Darcy responds with a bemused, but cute curtsey, Jane responds with a smile and Erik responds with an awkward bow, Erik gathers his colleagues before they can change their minds and they leave. Sif, now fully determined, walks on.
A/N: Can't believe I wrote the rough draft on actual pen & paper on the last Sunday of June – the first section, a mere 10 minutes after I woke up, and wrote most of the diner scene on the train ride back to Plymouth. It was a good Sunday... Well, that's why you get 2 chapters today, since I practically finished this chapter before I wrote Chapter 6, and even before I finished Chapter 5 all because of the incident...
*Err...umm...Sweet Minty Jebus...umm...Fwip Fwip?! Damn Tumblr and that gif...Anywho, that happened and I just thought I'd make it awkward by pointing it out, so we could all move on...
Sorry SnapTobiume10, the title happened as working title, but my head wouldn't let it go. Well...hopefully, I won't take too long before the next chapter.