Heh, the review count is plummeting; as is the standard, to be honest...

Well, I have mucho more RE revision to do for tomorrow's exam (let's not forget that is what started the ball rolling here...), so without further delay:

DeviantART

Once upon a time, in a far off land, something strange and new was born to a mother of vast imagination and a father of unlimited web space.

It was christened "DeviantART"; and three good fairies came to bestow upon it three gifts.

The gifts they gave were called Slash, Hentai and Oekaki.

An evil witch, who was angry not to have been invited to the celebrations (and who had already destroyed fanfictionDOTnet), cast a wicked spell, intending to crash and destroy DeviantART.

On second thought, maybe she was actually doing everyone a favor…

Anyway, the fairies could not lift the spell entirely, instead changing it so that instead DeviantART often froze, timed-out, was down for so-called "System Maintenance", and frequently flashed up "FORBIDDEN" across the screen alongside a picture of some kind of weird-looking animal.

However, the witch sent in her minions to corrupt and rot DeviantART from the inside out. Soon, the site was inundated with Inflation, furries, random pictures of pets and friends taken on camera phones, obscure colored squiggles done on Paint, "recolors" of popular characters to create the look for OCs from various fan fictions, and emo "MySpace-style" shots.

The wicked witch, who was called neither Maleficent nor Elphaba, cackled and rubbed her hand together gleefully.

Her work was done.

"FEAR US, MORTALS!" One of the terrible creatures shrieked from where it stood on top of a bakery van. "BOW DOWN BEFORE US AND SERVE OUR NEEDS!"

"OR WE SHALL DESTROY YOU ALL!" Roared another.

"WE HAVE COME HERE FROM THE REALM OF DEVIANTART!" Bellowed a third. "HERE, TO THE REALM OF FANFICTIONdotNET, WHERE WE ORIGINALLY CAME FROM, BUT WERE SENT AWAY TO DESTROY DEVIANTART. NOW THAT WE HAVE DONE THIS, WE ARE BACK TO WREAK HAVOC AND TERROR HERE ONCE AGAIN!"

The people of Jump City looked briefly at them before going about their business, milling this way and that on the busy city street.

"IGNORE US, WILL YOU?!" Shouted a fourth. "HA, VERY WELL THEN! YOU SHALL ALL BE DESTROYED!!!11!"

"Naw, it's going down wit us first!" Cyborg declared boldly, as the Teen Titans showed up with their usual spot-on timing.

"This ends NOW!" Robin said, because he always said that; mostly to affirm his position as leader, and as the person the villain was going to have to answer to ultimately, being more widely recognized than the other four; and also having had a brand of bread named after him in the 60s during the "Batmania" hype.

"Dude!" Said Beast Boy, because he didn't want to be left out.

"Be careful," said Raven warily, "I've heard of these guys. They corrupted DeviantART, and before that, they turned fanfictionDOTnet into what it is today."

"A festering varblernelk pool of OCs and self-inserts, ridiculous romance/pregnancy fics, pointless fluff one-shots, terrible spelling, painful OOC-ness, obscure slash pairings, bad fan fiction, parodies of bad fan fiction and parodies of parodies of bad fan fiction?" Starfire rattled off.

"AHA, SO YOU KNOW OUR WAYS!" The first of the creatures laughed. "THEN YOU SHOULD BE RESIGNED TO YOUR FATES!"

"I don't understand," Beast Boy said. "FanfictionDOTnet and DeviantART are two different mediums. How can these guys have destroyed both?"

"HA, WE CAN MULTI-TASK!" Another monster called down. "BEHOLD, I AM SLASH! I STARTED OUT AS A GIFT TO PROMOTE EQUAL OPPORTUNITY BETWEEN SEXUAL ORIENTATIONS, BUT THEN I BECAME OUT OF CONTROL AND ABUSED! INCESTUAL PAIRINGS (such as Starfire and her sister, Inu Yasha and his brother, or Sasuke and his) AND MPREG ARE MY LOVE CHILDREN!"

"AND I AM BIZARRE FETISHES!" The first said loudly. "INFLATION AND FURRIES ARE WHAT IS HAPPENIN'. EVEN I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE LIKE TO SEE ANIME FEMALES BLOWN UP LIKE BALLOONS, OR HUMANOID ANIMALS GETTING IT ON, BUT IT IS MY DUTY TO CORRUPT PEOPLE INTO DOING SO!"

"AND I AM SUPER EGO!" Said the third creature. "I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR SELF INSERTS, OCS BASED ON THE AUTHOR THEMSELVES, DeviantIDs, MYSPACE SHOTS, SNAPS OF PEOPLE'S "ADORABLE" PETS, AND ALSO RANDOM VIDEOS ON YOUTUBE FEATURING PEOPLE MIMING ALONG TO POPULAR DISNEY SONGS. IT IS I WHO MAKES PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT THE REST OF THE WORLD SHOULD BOW DOWN TO THEIR SELF-AWARDED 'GREATNESS'!"

"THERE ARE MANY MORE OF US, BUT THIS GETTING BORING NOW!!!111!!" Chorused the rest.

The Titans all laughed for five minutes.

"We're immune to your terrible powers!" Robin told them. "Our section has already been ravaged by most of the things you've mentioned!"

"SLASH, DEAL WITH HIM!" SUPER EGO cawed. "I AM FAR TOO SUPERIOR TO GET MY OWN HANDS DIRTY!"

SLASH did so, because he was an UKE.

But his powers did nothing, and Robin laughed some more.

"Oh, come on!" He said dismissively. "Like that's going to work on me! I spent 44 years of comic book history wearing shorts and pixie boots!"

"They all say Spock and Kirk were the first," Beast Boy put in helpfully, "but Batman and Robin were around for twenty-odd years before them!"

"THEN I SHALL DEAL WITH YOUR FRIENDS!" BIZARRE FETISHES cried, blasting the other four Titans with his powers.

At once Starfire and Raven became vastly inflated, and Cyborg turned and professed his undying love to Beast Boy, who was… furry…

"Noooooooooooo!!!eleven!11!" Robin cried in despair.

"AND NOW WE SENTENCE YOU TO AN ETERNITY OF ROBINXSLADE SEMI-PORNOGRAPHIC DOUJINSHIS!" Bellowed SLASH.

"Nooooooooo— oh, okay…" Robin relented with a sigh.

"Hold it!" Shouted another voice.

Suddenly another team of Teen Titans appeared. It was the 80s New Teen Titans team, featuring their original versions, plus Wonder Girl, who was eternally hot but nonetheless omitted from the modern animated series.

"We always knew that giving us a Pokémon-meets-Sailor-Moon look and putting us on prime time TV was going to cause this kind of trouble," said Nightwing. His outfit was kind of dorky, but then again, it was the 1980s…

"But we were around before the internet was invented," added Wonder Girl, "and so we are unaffected by your diabolical powers! By Hera!"

"And now I will destroy you, because I am a warlike alien!" Starfire screamed murderously.

Looked like the inflation had gotten to her as well. Oh, no, wait…

Raven, who was weird-looking, had black hair, and didn't say "Azarath Metrion Zinthos", teleported herself to the left by a few feet, but didn't do anything else, because… she couldn't really, apart from heal.

"I'm such a monster!" Cyborg wailed.

"And I'm a bitch," said Terra. "I also slept with Slade in this version."

"I tell jokes to hide my pain," said Beast Boy. No, wait. Changeling.

Jericho didn't say anything because he couldn't speak.

"Titans, together!" Said Nightwing. He didn't say "Titans, go!" because that catchphrase wasn't invented yet.

Together, the New Teen Titans made the evil destroyers of fandom go away. They couldn't destroy them, because… well, because they were just always going to be there.

It was a fact of life.

Or something.

"It is alright, my minions," said the wicked queen, when they returned to report that they had been defeated. "There was nothing else you really could have done to that section anyway… A shame they cancelled the sixth season, though."

"IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE WE CAN DO FOR YOU?" Asked SLASH.

"Oh, yes." The queen grinned. "We have yet to conquer LiveJournal…"