One thing: Sorry it's taken a while to update. I went to a football game with the color guard and band at Qwest field. Team was playing and we went to support them. We lost 42-19, but they were the best in the country so we're actually pretty lucky. It was amazing to be in the Seahawks stadium! And then I had math homework. Damn responsibility. I changed this song a bit. There were bits that fit better than others, so it's in bits and pieces and skips around a bit. Hahah so here's the next chapter. I decided I would finally explain what happened to Edward. I'm happy because I made my friend cry! That's hard to do, so I am proud of myself! Hahah anyway…

Chapter 7: To answer you question, I just had to leave

Edward

I walk alone

Think of home

Memories of long ago

No one knows I lost

My soul long ago

Lied too much

I think that I've had enough

Am I too much

She said that she's had enough

Standing on my own

Remembering the one I left at home

Forget about the life I used to know

Forget about the one I left at home

So now I'm standing here alone

I'm learning how to live life on my own

Forget about the past I'll never know

Forget about the one I left at home

"On My Own" Three Days Grace

I walked along the river, looking down at the white beneath my feet, feeling that it was odd that I wasn't falling. I didn't feel supported by the blank ground. It just felt like nothingness. But that's because that's what it was.

The rain continued to fall onto my shoulders, never thickening, and never lightening up, either. I looked up to the white emptiness of the sky and could see the rain coming down to drench my face, but as soon as I would look down below me it was as if the rain wasn't there. I never saw it splash against the ground. It just…disappeared.

It hadn't stopped raining. Everywhere I went it rained. I was starting to get cold, but I kept walking, absentmindedly staring at the river.

I gasped at the sudden warmth washing through me yet again. The white faded again into the blackness of her room. She sat there, staring at the ceiling. I took a breath in and something stabbed through my lungs. At the same time and clenched my ribs she wrapped her arms around herself, the two of us trying to hold ourselves together. This was very different from the feeling of my heart inflating to give itself to her. This was the agony of separation. Having no heart at all. Nothing to give because it had already been given, and nothing to take because it had already been taken and ripped apart in the rampage that my loneliness had triggered. She writhed in agony just as I did. Just as I had under Jane's penetrating gaze so long ago. We both just dwelled in our agony for an immeasurable amount of time until the door opened, distracting the two of us.



"Mom," she murmured. "Mom, I want you to know that it's okay with me. If you…if you go with Dad. I'm fine. I'll be fine. I have Jacob. He'll be fine, too."

Bella and I looked dumbfounded, just watching with pain in our faces as the whole family filed into the room, calm masks disguising the agony that they held with the loss of me and the approaching loss of Bella.

They all hugged Bella at once and I shuffled one foot at a time over to the bed, trying to understand what was happening.

"We love you, Bells." Jacob said, his voice faltering, "Whatever you want is okay with us."

"Go be with Edward," at my name Esme's face crumpled into a grimace of pain. She wiped it away with a halfhearted smile.

"You have been a wonderful sister to me." Alice whispered, squeezing Bella tighter.

"I'm with Alice." Emmett bellowed, trying to hide his sadness with a laugh. His sentence choked off with the ghost of a sob. "I'm going to miss you."

"I love you, too, Bella." Rosalie added, "I thought you'd like to know that I won't forget you. Thank you."

And I want to thank you as well, Bella." Jasper said, calmer than the others. "I've had a great time with you. I'm glad we could get so close."

"You were a part of our family always, Bella. Never forget that." Carlisle put in strongly, "We've all always loved you like family. Thank you for being a part of our lives."

All of the vampires and the werewolf in the room let out broken sobs and hugged Bella one last time before exiting.

Bella began to choke out her own sobs once they left and the hole returned for the two of us, then suddenly she went limp and the warmth washed through me once more.

I heard her soft footsteps across the sand. They paused a few meters away as she dropped her towel by the curved tree where I had left my clothes. She began walking to the water's edge and my heart inflated to fill my entire chest again. I stared at the pallid light of the moon at the glow of it rippling across the low waves in the darkness. I felt the water running under my palms as I waited for her to join me, almost wanting her not to join me. I feared that tomorrow morning I would be staring at her dead beside me, and I just would not be able to deal with that. She was so sure that I wouldn't—that I couldn't kill her. I trusted her more than anyone else, and I wanted to believe her. But my trust in myself, in my control was so lacking…what if she was wrong…what if….

But what if she was right? What if I was just overreacting as usual? If I trusted her so much then why couldn't I believe her. I would try. And I would be careful.

I heard the water as she stepped in and I stiffened, if I could stiffen anymore. She walked carefully to my side and put her warm hand on mine.

"Beautiful," she said, gazing with me at the moon.

"It's all right," I answered truthfully. I turned slowly to face her, checking myself always, indulging in her scent, somehow intensified. I twined our fingers beneath the water.

"But I wouldn't use the word beautiful," I continued. "Not with you standing here in comparison."

She half-smiled, then her free hand came up and she placed it over my heart. I shuddered, my breath coming rougher as I thought again of the possibilities of what this could lead to.

"I promised we would try," I whispered, tense again. "If…if I do something wrong, if I hurt you, you must tell me at once."

She nodded slowly, keeping her warm brown eyes locked on mine. She took a step to me and the small waves lapped against my legs. She rested her head against my chest.

"Don't be afraid," she murmured. "We belong together."



I was suddenly overwhelmed with the conviction of her statement. Nothing else mattered as soon as she spoke the words. Her scent wafted through my nose again, but I knew I could handle this. I knew that we truly did belong together and nothing would ever change that. My fears dissipated and dissolved into the island air. My nerves came alive and the love I felt for overthrew every thought and every feeling but that.

"Forever," I agreed, and then I pulled us into deeper water.

Bella sat up and walked out the door. This time I followed her. She left the empty house and walked down the long driveway to the highway. As soon as she hit the pavement she was running. I followed easily behind her, not wanting to leave her company. She ran into forks and slowed to a walk again. She just strolled around town, watching the people walking by.

I was confused. Suddenly the people all left. No one was on the street. It was early morning so there had only been a precious few traveling. Her skin began to throw rainbows, like the sun was shining, but the problem was that the sun wasn't shining. The rain was still pouring down and splashing against the pavement. As she walked I watched her, wishing I could be walking with her, her hand in mine.

"Go." I said through my teeth, not taking my eyes off of the creature before me.

"Edward, I'm staying here." She asserted.

"No. Leave." A grown ripped through my throat at the thought of Bella being hurt by the creature.

"But…"

"I'll be fine." I promised confidently. I stood from my crouch and smiled at her, emphasizing my confidence. She hesitantly stood there, and after a few moments of deliberating, walked away.

I stared after her for a few moments, her perfect form loping away. My chest felt full all of a sudden.

'I love you, Bella.' I thought to myself as she faded into the deep darkness of the trees. I turned back to the creature a few feet from me. It was not the same menace as the one I had seen before Bella had left. This one triggered a burning hate.

"Caius," I said plainly, returning to my defensive position.

"Edward," he replied, a smirk stretching across his face. He deepened his crouch slowly.

I narrowed my eyes and waited.

A growl ripped its way through the creature before me.

"Die." He smirked and leapt for me.

The fight was even. I could hear his thoughts and know what he did before he did it, just as with everyone else, but after a while he just stopped thinking. He did anything. No technique, just knowing that he wanted to kill me. He had gone completely feral. The blows we had against each other sounded like thunder crashing through the trees. It was all lightning fast leaps and ducks and scratches, going for the throat, the limbs, trying to tear each other apart. Suddenly he had thrown his weight into me, thus throwing me against a tree. The tree snapped and fell with Caius and I on top of it. He smiled evilly and pulled me up by my shirt collar. I glared, trying to make sense of it all.

Bella ran into the clearing. Caius and I both glanced her way and he grinned. He laughed jubilantly and, with a screeching pulled my arms from my body. Then my legs. He continues to tear me apart, delighting in my screams. The fire he lit was just as excruciating as when I had first become a vampire. The next thing I knew I was in pitch black.

Broken sobs echoed from somewhere in the darkness, complete pain rippling its way through my chest and then a sharp tear as my heart was torn through, everything being ripped apart. My chest dug 

through viciously, eagerly. The sobs sounded like an angel. Through the pain I found it wrong for the angel to be crying.

I tried to tell her not to cry, but I couldn't speak. The darkness pulled my under and I accepted.

I couldn't move and I could do nothing but let my chest be gnawed at and shredded. I wished to curl myself over. To hold myself together, but I just fell apart, my breathing coming in shallow, rasping, loud gasps. Nothing could hold me together and I simply lay there, hearing silence, tasting emptiness, seeing black, and feeling complete agony. My lungs continued to struggle around the trauma caused by my broken—to say the least—heart. Until they fell apart too. The ravaging pain moved to my lungs, the searing pain continuing through them. I wanted to scream, though I knew it would never help. I needed something to distract me from this feeling. I was falling apart and I was falling under and there was nothing and no one to save me. I was alone in the darkness…the nothingness, and there was nothing I could do. My shallow gasps came louder and shallower, until my breathing stopped all together. And I finally realized how alone I truly was.