When I woke up it was dark.

For the first few moments of consciousness, I began to panic. My chest started to rise and fall in heaves as I sat up from whatever soft surface that I lie on. The fear spread through me like wildfire, and in my groggy state all could think was of but one question: Was I blind?

"Help," I croaked, trying to move, but a dull pain in my side stopped me. And then there were gently hands on my chest, pushing me back down very carefully.

"It's okay Ellis, you're okay."

I swiveled my head to the direction of the voice. "Devon? Devon is that you? What's happening, Devon, where am I, why can't I see anything?"

A silence followed my query, and I sensed a tension in the air. "You're at the medical bay, Ellis. Your eyes are fine they're just… they're just bandaged up."

"Why are my eyes bandaged up?"

My fingers lifted, feeling around my face to confirm what I was told. Sure enough, a thick fabric was wrapped over my eyes all around my head. I didn't understand why I hadn't realize that it was there in the first place, but for now I was just relieved to know that I wasn't permanently visually impaired.

I could hear Devon wet her lips. "Because of the surgery."

My heart began to sink as she spoke. "What surgery…" I asked quietly, even when a small voice in my head seemed to already know what the answer was.

"I wasn't there to see what happened, the explosion at Jack's office, but the Doctor told me that you're right eye experienced flash blindness." She sounded uncomfortable, holding a significant amount of sadness in her voice. "He said sometimes they go away, because the eyes are able to readjust after a certain amount of time… but after looking at yours, he said it was permanent."

I stared into the darkness that clouded my vision, a hand reaching up to touch the place where my right eye was. "Am I blind in this one…?"

"You were. That's what the surgery was about. He had to take out your human eye and replace it with a robot one…"

The sinking feeling in my stomach smacked me in my gut.

Not this. Not again.

I was always afraid that something like this would happen again. That after another stupid incident I would have another body part replaced with robotics. After the first time, after I lost my arm and got a metal one, I told myself I would always be careful. I just couldn't let it happen again. It was too much. Losing my arm was a part of me that I would never get back, a part of who I was that was lost forever.

And now, almost half of my right side had been replace by robotics.

A wry laugh left my lips as I could feel moistness pooling behind the bandages. There was a change in the air, as if Devon was concerned at my behavior. I just continued laughing, crying through the left side of the fabric.

"At this rate I'll be a robot by next year."

"Ellis please don't do that."

"I can do whatever the fuck I want."

The air stung. A long scrape came to my ears before I heard the sound of heals walking away from me. Devon was my friend, but not even my friends could lighten my mood. Not at this time. I just laughed until I felt bad for myself.

I lie in my bed for what seemed like hours, my head tipped towards the ceiling. I stared into the abyss that was my vision, seeing things that weren't there, hallucinating colors when it was all just blackness. More than once I felt the tears sting, feeling sorry for myself like I used to back on Pandora. Feeling helpless and useless all at once. When I actually cried, it only made things worse as only my left eye would produce any tears. So no matter what, when I tried to push it to the back of my head or let my emotions wash over me to help me forget it all, the reminder that I was just going through the same thing as my arm came rushing back.

And just when my life was picking up. Just when things were finally getting better for me, the Universe had to turn around and spit in my face. I guess I just wasn't allowed to be happy. Wasn't given the right to ever enjoy myself.

It seemed like forever before I heard someone walking towards me. They weren't heels this time, but at least there was finally going to be some human interaction.

"Ellis, my dear, how are you doing?" A deep, dapper voice asked as they approached.

I didn't move my head and answered in a flat, sarcastic voice. "I'm fine Dr. Gen, how are you."

The doctor just laughed, ignoring my remark and put his hand onto my forehead. "You'll be pleased to know that the operation was a success! Your new eye has healed very well and we can start removing your bandages right now."

"Right now? But I thought I just got it."

"Oh, no, no, you got it three days ago! You've been asleep for quite a while now."

Slowly the doctor help me sit upright in my bed, rearranging the pillow behind my back so I could lean on it comfortably. "Three days? I can't have been asleep for that long, I have a job to do."

"Yes, yes, I know, but you don't have to worry about that. Handsome Jack gave you medical leave after he ordered me to give you a new eye. Oh, and the new arm."

On impulse my arm twitched, and I suddenly remembered that I had lost it in the blast.

What the hell?

"Handsome Jack… told you to fix me up?"

I heard a faint snipping sound. "Oh yes. Normally employees don't just get new robotic body parts after an accident, there's this whole week-long process where you have to send the request, receive approval, cover costs and whatnot. And Handsome Jack, being the rich, CEO of the company, just ordered me to give you the parts himself and, boom! You don't ever have to know what it's like to be armless or blind ever again!"

I was stunned. My boss got me my new robotic parts? Why would he do that?

"Alrighty, let's get down to it."

I felt a faint pressure on my temple as the doctor pulled at the bandage and snipped through it. He repeated the process through the next few layers before most of them slid of my face. Light poured at me from the other side of my eyelids but something didn't want to make me open them. I was afraid of what I would see, even what I wouldn't see. I just didn't want to use the new eye.

Using it felt like I would be accepting it.

"It's okay Ellis, you can open them. It works just fine, maybe even better than your original one. The one I put it was one of the best we had. By the request of Handsome Jack, of course."

Gently I let my eyes flutter open. It was bright at first, the starkness of the blackness still in my vision before slowly I readjusted. I flickered them left and right, up and down, around in circles until I was sure I couldn't feel a goddamn difference. I guess I at least had that going for me. A little less reminder that it was just another part of me that wasn't really me.

My arm was different, however. It was replaced with better tech, shiner metals and smoother surfaces. I didn't even know that people could get parts in this kind of material but here it was, gleaming in the light before my eyes.

"Oh, and before you look in the mirror to see if things still look the same, I should inform you that we had no grey eye colors. Or even blues that looked sort of grey. Had to settle for the lightest blue we had, but it's pretty blue, so you you'll look a little different. Don't fret though, it's actually a rather good look for you."

The doctor let me out of the medical bay that afternoon. He told me to go straight home, to eat lots of food and get lots of rest. But that wasn't what I wanted to do. I needed to do something else first. I needed to see someone first.

Immediately crossed the station to the elevator. I didn't let anyone or anything stop me, I ran past everything until I made it to his office. I spoke to no one, I stopped for nothing. Tunnel vision took me over as I had to go find Handsome Jack and talk to him.

When the elevator door dinged open at the top floor I stormed through. I barely caught the eye of Venus, who in surprised stood up from her desk as I passed by. She didn't try to halt me, and rightly so. I barreled my way to the office, slamming both doors against the wall as I entered. Jack sat in his chair, facing away from me but swiveled over once he heard the commotion.

There was something odd about his smile. It was slightly delayed. "Uh–cupcake! Nice to see you back from medical on your— sexy legs!" He swung his arms open wide, as if he were to give me a hug. I only approached him and slammed my hands onto his desk.

That was weird. He seemed confused for some reason, and the look on his face wasn't sitting well with me.

"Why did you give me the eye?" I demanded with a hard glare.

A brow raised on his masked forehead. "Excuse me…cupcake?"

"Answer the fucking question, Jack, why did you tell Dr. Gen to give me the parts!?" I yelled, hitting his desk with two fists and leaning in towards him.

Jack only leaned backwards in his chair, trying to look nonchalant as he cracked a weak, devilish smile onto his face. "Why, not?"

What the hell was wrong with him?

I threw my arms into the air in a frustrated growl and picked up some trinket off his desk, turning to toss it against the wall with my new metal arm. The object shattered into a million pieces, and when I turned to face Jack again, he was standing up, hand on his chin, studying me intently. He didn't even seem mad about whatever it was of his that I broke.

"You know… pumpkin, you're kind of hot when you're angry."

"Just tell me what your motive is!" I cried, clenching my arms at my sides.

"I don't have a motive." He replied. Part of his behavior was telling me that he was sincere, while the other part seemed as if he had no idea what I was talking about.

He was so fucking frustrating. God I wanted to strangle him.

I gestured to my arm and my eye. "Then why all this, huh? Why order the doctor to give me the new parts? I know how hard it is for an employee to get all this, why take it upon yourself to give me special treatment?"

"Cuz, uh…" He had stalled for a second, and quickly turned around. He faced the window as if he was studying it, thinking hard. What the fuck was this guy doing?"

"Jack, just tell me why you did it! Don't you think should know?"

It seemed like a while as Jack didn't turn around, just staring at the window as if he didn't know what to do. After a few deafening moments of silence, his shoulders sagged in a sigh. I felt slightly put off. Was Jack even capable of sighing?

He turned around. "Look, Ellis…" Since when did he use my full name? "I just, I did what I had to. You made sure I didn't get hurt in the blast, so I made sure you would get out of it better off than what you had before."

His heterochromatic eyes were weird, odd, almost alien, but I almost didn't noticed because of the words that left his mouth. It was so soft, sincere—it was almost like the words he spoke weren't coming from him. Like it wasn't Jack talking to me.

I fell into a stunned silence. He was repaying me for pushing him away from the explosion. My face fell, my arms suddenly heavy. I looked at the ground, an arm reaching up to run through my hair. "But—I didn't want this…"

The tension in the air changed almost immediately. "Didn't want this? Do you know how much your replacements costed?" He started laughing, leaving me confused whether he was angry or amused. "It was like a fortune! You know, you're kind of a bitch"

My head snapped up to face him standing in front of me, and my hand reached up to sock him across the face.

For a long moment we stood there in stunned silence. Me slowly coming to the realization of what I'd done; him standing with his face turned from the force of the punch. Slowly he turned his head back to me, hand reaching up to readjust his jaw.

"Son of a GUN that hurt!" He cried, his chest heaving with another laugh. I pulled back slightly, my brows furrowing with disbelief. "Damn Ellis that was painful!"

"I—I don't understand, shouldn't you be angry?"

"Angry? Why the hell for!" He was obviously in pain, his face scrunching slightly, but he was forcing himself to act as if he didn't mind. My own face contorted into an even more confused look. Who the fuck was this guy?

Jack laughed weakly some more, looking down at me. "Gotta tell you cupcake, this is a side I… haven't seen from you before."

I was so angry and confused at him. He made things so difficult when it came to him, so damn confusing that I just couldn't feel one emotion around him, just a swirl of everything building inside me, ready to explode at the right moment. I felt my breath growing ragged as I stared up at him, my chest heaving up and down in a rising hyperventilation. I was so ready to do something to him, something stupid, something angry, something—something—

My hands came up to grab him by the collar and pull him down forcefully and I kissed him.

I kissed that bastard hard.