"I want to watch." Kurt only realized how dirty that sounded when Dave began cracking up laughing. He immediately felt heat surge into his cheeks. "I didn't mean—! God, you've got such a dirty mind!"

"I was gonna say the same thing about you, fancypants!" Dave managed to gasp between fits of hysterics.

Kurt harrumphed, crossing his arms. "Maybe you're more the frat boy than I thought." He waited, not patiently, until Dave's laughter died down into chuckles. "I meant, watch you do math." That effectively killed the mirth on the other side of the table. "I'm curious what you actually do. I've never seen a genius at work. Well, except maybe in a mirror..."

"Shit, Kurt, don't call me that."

"What, genius?"

"Yeah."

"You've used that word yourself a few times in self-description."

"I know, but it just makes me feel... weird. Like I'm better than everyone else. And I'm not."

"But you are better than almost everyone else — at math. Ignoring your strong points isn't humility, it's self-deprecation."

"You don't know how good I am. I don't really know how good I am."

Kurt pursed his lips. "Somehow I think you have a better idea than that. Regardless, that's another reason I want to watch: I want to get an idea of what high level math looks like, even if I don't understand it." He hesitated, wondering if he should say the rest of what he was thinking. A wild impulse pushed it on. "And I want to see how it makes you feel when you do it, and why."

Dave snickered. "You're getting close to dirty again."

"And you're trying to deflect. It's not going to work, mister, not on me." Kurt folded his hands in front of him. "Seriously, no pressure. Just do whatever you would usually do with it, except with an audience. I promise, I won't interrupt or ask stupid questions."

"I still don't know if I get why you're so interested."

"Because you say you love math. I want to find out why. I certainly don't like it a lot, so I'd like to have a better idea of how you think."

There was a long silence. Finally, Dave sighed. "You're just going to nag me until I say yes, aren't you?"

Kurt raised an offended eyebrow. "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. I do not 'nag'."

"Yeah? I've listened to Finn talk about living with you. Why don't we ask him together about that?"

"Because we already know what he'll say... if he knows what's good for him."

They both laughed at that, together. It felt good.

Dave finally said he'd think about it, and Kurt didn't bring it up again. He knew he'd have to tread carefully in this arena, but he really hoped he wouldn't have long to wait — and he didn't. After the next tutoring session ended, Dave began unpacking as Kurt was packing. He raised a curious eyebrow as Dave laid out a familiar looking notebook and folder. "I thought..." Dave cleared his throat, looking around; fortunately, they had their normal privacy. "I thought I could work on one of my projects. If you wanted to see what I do in my free time."

Kurt immediately sat bolt upright in his chair. "I'd like that," he said, trying to tamp down his excitement. "I'd like that a lot."

Dave's cheeks reddened slightly as he opened both notebook and folder. "I have four projects going on right now," he said, the speed of his words rising, his eyes glued onto the paper in front of him. "This one deals with ergodic theory; I haven't done a lot in arithmetic combinatorics lately, so I thought I'd—"

"You don't have to explain, Dave. I don't think I'd understand it anyway," Kurt said with a laugh. "Ignore me and do what you'd normally do. I'm not even here. Just... be you."

Dave nodded, slowly and reluctantly, then picked up his mechanical pencil. Kurt watched as he began writing down numbers and symbols onto a blank page in the notebook. His hand was jerky and hesitant at first; his eyes kept flickering up at Kurt before returning to the paper. Kurt had expected that, though, and waited patiently. It only took about ten minutes for the hesitancy to give way to flowing writing, for flickering eyes to stay laser focused onto the pages in front of him.

Kurt watched, fascinated, as the pencil danced across the page, scratching out numbers and symbols in formulas so arcane they might as well have been Hogwarts magic to him. But even that was nothing compared to the change in Dave himself. He was, for the lack of a better word, intense. Numbers flowed out of his mind through his hand like water, pausing only occasionally for thoughtful taps on the page before losing himself once more.

Dave was mostly silent, only interjecting a few words under his breath here and there, usually either numbers or curses: "Fuck, I almost missed..." or "Shit, then..." or "Oh, hell, yeah..." Perhaps his frat boy persona wasn't completely fake. Or else it had just been in place so long that it had leaked into the rest of Dave's life. He chose to believe the former; the latter was too depressing.

As Dave impatiently flipped to a new page so hard that the crackle of paper was like a gunshot in its sharpness, Kurt's mind compared the scene before him to someone playing the piano — or better, conducting an orchestra: he was watching virtuosity at work. Numbers were Dave's notes, graphs his staff, and he was playing the hell out of them. It didn't matter that, unlike music, he couldn't appreciate the results: talent recognizes talent, he always said, no matter what the form. Thus he knew exactly what was going on with Dave: the library — perhaps even the rest of Ohio — had ceased to exist. He was in his own little bubble of numerical contentment. He was in his element.

He was, for the first time in Kurt's sight, Dave. And it was fascinating.

For over half an hour, Kurt watched in rapt attention bordering on awe as the notebook pages filled, hearing each intake of breath at a new insight, or relieved exhale as a long formula finally finished. There were no smiles on Dave's face, no declarations aloud of how good he felt; he was lost completely in a world of 7's and k's, blazing his own paths through them like a colonial cartographer. That, Kurt couldn't help but think, was the best expression of joy he could ever see.

It was only when Dave's cell phone went off, jumping across the table, that he snapped out of it. Kurt silently cursed the interruption as Dave looked at the screen. "Finn," he said; Kurt's mind filled with images of him bitchslapping Finn on the back of his head. He could hear his stepbrother yowl and ask what the fuck that was for, and Kurt just saying that he deserved it, without further explanation. There was a 50/50 shot of the fantasy becoming reality in the near future. It took even more effort than usual to force the scowl off his face before Dave looked up from the quick text he sent in response. "I should go." He began gathering up his work, then paused. He looked up at Kurt. "Well?"

"Well what? What did I think?"

"... Yeah."

"If you want my honest opinion... I think what I saw was beautiful."

Dave grimaced. "Don't make fun of me, Kurt."

"I'm not." Kurt cocked his head and tried to look as sincere as he could (difficult, since he didn't even know what sincerity looked like). "I know you've been mocked for what you can do, but please, at least do me the courtesy of not lumping me in with whatever Neanderthals and harpies did that to you. I think there really was a lot of beauty in your skills at math, even if I can't understand any of it." He hesitated, wondering whether there was a better way to put what he wanted to say. Oh, hell with it. Dave's ego could use a little boosting anyway. "If nothing else, I thought that the obvious joy it brought you was beautiful." Dave ducked his head, his cheeks already turning red. "So why do you like it so much? Besides being so good at it? Or maybe it's because you're so good at it...?"

"That's part of it, but it's not just that. Numbers... they just make sense, you know? They're black and white, right or wrong. One plus one is always two."

"Unless it's one point infinite nines."

Dave snickered. "Hey, you know that one! And you said you didn't like math!"

"That's Professor Schuester's fault, actually. He brought it up last term during one of his classes. I still don't get it, honestly."

"Anyway, seriously, I think that's what I find so relaxing about math: it's logical. There's nothing to interpret, and it's usually pretty stable. It's approachable. It makes sense." He paused. "Unlike most people."

Kurt nodded, a bit of that sadness creeping back in. "I think I see. It's comforting to you."

"Yeah, I guess you could say that."

"So when did you first figure out that you were... well, special?"

Dave was silent for a few seconds before he spoke. Was he searching his memories, or was he reluctant to answer the question? Did it matter? "I think it was all the way back in kindergarten. Remember when I said I used to borrow my older brother's math books? I sort of did that before I started school. I mean, I couldn't read most of it, but obviously, I understood the numbers, and sometimes my brother would sort of have me follow along with his homework. I think he did it mostly to relieve boredom, but my mom also thought it was 'cute' that I was so interested. Jack was a shit teacher, of course, but on some level, I just got it. I got the basic ideas and the concepts, and it was so easy. It wasn't until I got to kindergarten, and I saw the other kids having to actually think about addition when I was already doing multiplication and division, that I realized that it wasn't that easy for everybody. At first, I thought it was pretty cool that I could get my homework done in no time and get happy face stickers on all my math problems, but then..." He shrugged with exaggerated casualness. "You know the rest."

"They took the pride from you," Kurt said, feeling unreasonably angry at a bunch of children he didn't even know. "But even they couldn't take away the joy. Because I saw it myself."

"Ugh... 'Joy'. That's twice you've used that word."

"Why, what's wrong with it? Too fruity for you?" That got a little bit of a smile out of Dave. "I used it because there was no other word I could think of to describe it. It's what I feel when I get up on stage. That's you when you do math."

Dave shrugged. "It's relaxing. Math has gotten me through some pretty shitty times, especially that year I figured out I was gay."

"I can't believe you got through your entire childhood keeping this a secret."

"Ehh, it was easy. Honestly, I'm kinda embarrassed by it."

Kurt glowered — not at Dave, but at those faceless brats who tried to smother this wonderful talent. "Because you were teased about it."

"I guess, but not completely. I dunno. I kinda feel like... What's it called when someone is a genius in one really specific thing, but a total moron in everything else?"

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "An idiot savant?"

"Yeah. That. I feel like an idiot savant sometimes."

"Well, I feel like you need more self esteem."

Dave shrugged again. "Sometimes I don't see the point of me being this good with math," he said, completely failing to respond to Kurt's basic point — that had to be significant somehow, right? "I mean, why me? Isn't there some kid in New York or China who could do a ton more with it than me?"

"Number one, you're already doing a lot more with it than some people," Kurt said. "Number two, the only person preventing you from doing 'a ton' with it is you."

"Oh, so now it's my fault?" Dave asked, anger creeping into his voice.

"I didn't say that. I'm saying that I think you have more control over your life than you seem to believe."

"Yeah, and I'm the one who'll have to deal with whatever decision I make. Not you."

"That's true," Kurt admitted. "But you don't seem to think you're brave enough to do that."

"Brave?" Dave snorted. "I already told you I'm a coward. I've been hiding like a little bitch since second grade. That really sound brave to you?"

"You kept going with mathematics when you could've abandoned it entirely out of shame, even if you didn't tell anyone. You went to an LGBT event even though you were afraid of being seen. That really sound cowardly to you?"

Dave opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out. He closed his mouth, then tried again. Still nothing, except a jerky rasp from his throat. One more try, and he finally succeeded. "What, you think you know me and my life? A few months ago, you didn't even know my name."

"That's true." A smile slowly blossomed on Kurt's face. "In fact, that gives me a marvelous idea!"

"Oh, god, what did I do?" Dave whispered in horror.

"Bowling?" The crash of pins nearly drowned out the word, but not enough.

"Bowling." Kurt strode up to the counter. "Two, please."

"Lane eight," the bored man behind the counter said. "Need shoes?"

"Yes. Unfortunately." Kurt wrinkled his nose as the man shoved a pair of rental shoes across the counter; he picked them up using as little surface area on his fingers as possible. "So what size do you wear, Dave?"

"Um..." He approached the counter and stood next to Kurt. "What the hell are we doing here, anyway?"

"Bowling," Kurt repeated, giving him a "were you paying attention at all?" glance. "Now are you just going to stand there, or are you going to get your shoes?"

"Uh..." It looked for a moment like Dave couldn't genuinely decide, until he finally got his shoes from the impatient counter guy. As the two tromped up to lane eight, Dave burst out, "You know what I meant."

"By what?" Kurt asked casually, slipping on his rental shoes and thanking all the deities above that he was wearing one of his older pairs of socks.

"I fucking know we're bowling," Dave said as he wrenched his shoes off his feet, leaving Kurt glad he was sitting far enough away to be away from any... scents. "What I want to know is why."

"Why not?" It didn't escape Kurt how coy he was being, and how irritated Dave was getting, but after having spent months talking to this guy, his instincts told him that this was just the way to get past those defenses he'd built up over the past decade. Bait him, get him interested, keep him from being locked in his own head...

Dave groaned. "Stop playing dumb, goddammit. Why would you invite me to go bowling?"

"Well, why would you accept? Maybe that should tell you something about listening to what you want."

Dave growled in frustration. "You—! You keep answering my goddamn questions with either non-answers or more questions! I accepted because you dropped this on me and I was so confused I didn't have a chance to think!"

"So you say," Kurt said with a shrug. He went to the bowling ball racks and experimentally lifted a couple before he settled on one with a nice art deco-style motif, much more interesting than he usually found at places like this. "I don't see why you're so worked up about this." Actually, he did, but again, bait him, make him confront what he was feeling instead of running from it.

"Because it doesn't make fucking sense! Why the hell would you want to do this?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Because—!" Dave stepped in front of Kurt; he loomed in his frustration, shadow falling over Kurt's face. Kurt couldn't suppress a brief thrill of fear. "Because there's no reason you should want to hang out with me!"

"None at all?" Kurt asked, his voice soft in contrast with Dave's snarling. "Don't you think you're good enough to have friends?"

"But that's just it! We're totally fucking different people! We have, like, nothing in common!"

"We have a few things in common," Kurt pointed out, "more than me and Finn." Dave stopped cold at that reminder. "And while we may not be friends yet, we're certainly much more than strangers or acquaintances at this point, don't you think? Given that, I'd like to get to know you better. And before you ask me why," he quickly added, shutting Dave's opening mouth, "it's because you're an interesting and decent person, and you and I both know there are too few of those in the world. We may have been thrown together by chance, but I never let an opportunity pass me by. Look at it this way: the better I know you, the better I know your limits, so I don't accidentally push you too hard." A thoughtful look came over Dave's face at this, encouraging Kurt to continue. "If you're afraid to be seen with me..."

"No!" Dave said at once, eyes widening. That reaction, almost instant, would occur to Kurt again later.

"It's okay if you are," Kurt said reassuringly. "But I wouldn't worry about it. Look around you." Dave did; there was laughter, shouts of triumph, screeches of dismay as balls rolled into gutters, but no eyes on them. "Even if someone we know did notice us, it doesn't mean anything. Nobody thinks any less of Finn, and he's my stepbrother." He reached out, gently touching Dave's left upper arm in what he hoped was a reassuring gesture. "Look, Dave, there's been a lot of tension in our... association together, for obvious reasons. I just thought it might be easier for both of us if we could actually relax around each other. Who knows, we actually end up having fun in the bargain, and we'd both get something out of this besides math. What do you think?"

Dave was a stone statue, still looming over him, but Kurt was no longer afraid, so he too didn't move. Finally, Dave's shoulders slumped. He nodded, and went to the ball rack. "Will you at least let me go first?"

Kurt bit back a smile. "Of course."

As it turned out, Kurt was a little shakier on this whole bowling thing than he'd anticipated, and Dave was a predictably poor winner. "Hey, good work, Hummel," he sneered. "You almost broke into triple digits that game!"

"Bite me," Kurt grumbled as he replaced his ball and finally, finally got out of those awful rental shoes.

"Hey, this was your brilliant idea. But it was nice; I haven't bowled since high school, so I was really rusty." Dave grinned toothily.

"Shut up. Next time, I'm picking something not competitive, if this is the way you're going to act."

The good humor immediately shattered from Dave's face, replaced by shock. "Next... time?"

"Of course. Despite your grandstanding, I had a good enough time. And I've learned a few things about you... Apart from your being an arrogant jerkass when you're winning. That I already expected."

"Oh, yeah?" Dave asked with a hint of a grin back on his lips. "Like what?"

"Well, you surprised me a little when you helped that woman with the crutches..."

Dave flushed. "Yeah? I call that being a decent fucking human being." He turned away a little; his profile was stark against the harsh overhead lights. "I wasn't one for a long time."

"So you're trying to make up for it. That's a lot more than some people do."

"Just be glad you didn't know me back in high school. You would've hated my fucking guts."

"I have a feeling I wouldn't have hated you nearly as much as you hate yourself now." Kurt tried to make his voice as gentle as he could, but even then, Dave still visibly shuddered. "That was then. This is now. You're trying, and that deserves a lot more credit than you seem to think. I think that makes you a person worth knowing. Thus... bowling." Kurt grimaced. "This time. I was going to suggest karaoke, but I didn't want to scare you off."

It took visible effort, but Dave actually laughed. "Oh, so you can be the 'arrogant jerkass', right?" he said, complete with finger quotes.

"I am not 'arrogant'! I'm self-confident and secure in my talents!"

"Sounds like an arrogant jerkass to me."

"Just for that, next time, if we do anything competitive, you get a massive handicap. We'll see how much you're laughing then!"

Dave snickered. "Okay, fine, I guess that'd be fair. Or more fair, anyway."

"You'll rue those words, Karofsky."

"Make me."

Despite the jocular tone in which those words were said, Kurt could hear the probing challenge in them. So he said the only thing he could say:

"I will."

"I haven't had the chance to engage in much activism," Kurt said as Dave opened the door to the Multicultural Center for him, "but I've been eager to change that ever since I came here."

"Sounds like something I want to do someday, but not yet." Dave sighed. "Not 'til I actually get the guts to... Shit, I can't even say it without panicking a little."

"You're not a coward, Dave," Kurt said almost automatically. "Everyone's lives are different. Just because I was out so early doesn't mean that you're somehow defective for not being out. Besides, you're coming with me to this meeting, aren't you? Even if you don't end up volunteering, you're showing your support in your own way. That's not nothing."

"If you say so."

"I do."

There was enough of a crowd present to warm both the room with body heat and Kurt's heart with hope for the future. How could he have ever thought, even for a moment, that the toxic atmosphere of high school was all he'd ever face? But then, that was easy to think while you were steeped in it. To be able to breathe clearly, even for a little while, was the greatest blessing he could ever imagine. He could only think that Dave felt much the same way, if his stories of his smothering in Lima were any indication.

"Hey!" Spencer Porter emerged from the crowd, shaking both their hands in turn. "Glad you guys could make it."

"Glad to be here," Kurt said. "Good crowd."

"Yeah, it is! Since I'm just a freshman, I'm not very high up on the totem pole, but I'm still helping to organize this drive, so I'm really grateful that you two showed up. The more the better." He nodded towards Dave. "Hey."

"Hey." Kurt had to actively keep himself from rolling his eyes; it was almost incomprehensible that gay men could still be such... such bros. "Am I the only one here from my frat?"

"Yeah, so far. In fact, I think the only Greek guys here are from mine." Dave visibly relaxed. "Like I told you before, I'm probably not going to invite the other frats until later in the year. Besides, if any of them actually do show up, at least you'll know they'd be cool with you, right?"

"That's what Kurt said. I think you're both right."

"He did, huh?" Spencer gave Kurt an odd look. "Anyway, I got work to do. See you guys around. Thanks again for coming."

"See you." They watched Spencer vanish into the crowd. "Hey, Kurt... You think you're going to volunteer for anything?"

"Maybe. It depends on the scheduling. I have even less free time than I had last term, and I didn't think that was possible. What about you?"

"I... I don't know. I mean, I know straight guys care about this kind of thing too, but if I wasn't out... I'd feel kinda... kinda phony, you know?"

What do you think you're being with math? Kurt wanted to ask, but shoved it back before he could. "I understand," he said instead, because that at least was true. "But maybe interacting with other people who care about us, gay and straight, will help."

"Maybe. I'm just glad they'll be strangers, because if I saw anyone I knew, I'd probably—" He never finished the sentence, but he didn't need to. His sudden whiteness was finish enough. Silently cursing the gods of chaos, Kurt slowly turned to see who Dave had seen that he obviously knew.

Rachel was entering the room, with Finn in tow. Kurt felt a little hope, but not as much as he'd expected. After all, it was one thing when a family member was gay, especially when you always "knew"; it could be quite another when it was a new friend whom you thought you knew... Kurt was pretty sure Finn wouldn't react badly, but he was only pretty sure; he couldn't help feel guilty about that.

Fortunately, neither of the two was given much time to panic or stew; Rachel saw Kurt almost at once. She waved and dragged Finn towards them before anyone could react. "Kurt!" She hugged him; he gamely returned the hug as best he could. "Is Blaine here already?"

"I haven't seen him yet, but he said he would be." Kurt tried to peek at Finn and Dave out of the corner of his eye as best he could; the two were staring at each other. Dave's lower lip was trembling, his hands balled into fists, while Finn was just gaping like a dead fish.

"So, uh..." Finn said, "you two... know each other?"

Ah. Of course. There was an aspect of this discovery Kurt hadn't considered. "Not very well, but yes," he managed to say. "He's been... helping me out with something. And I have too. About something he knew about himself." Dave winced, but the cat was mostly out of the bag anyway at this point; even if Dave could've waved off his own presence to Finn, his being with Kurt was a dead giveaway. He just mentally crossed his fingers and hoped that he was right about his stepbrother...

"Oh. I see." Finn met Dave's eyes strongly, steadily. "Mind if we talk a little, dude?" He then reached out and gripped Dave's shoulder. The gesture could've been threatening or comforting, but from Dave's reaction, it was clearly the latter. He let out the breath he was holding.

"Go on, Dave." Kurt rubbed Dave's arm right under Finn's hand encouragingly. Dave looked over at him, his eyes moist, unspoken words plainly on his lips. Instead of speaking, he just nodded, then he and Finn retreated to a quiet corner of the room. As soon as they were out of earshot, Kurt turned to Rachel. "What's he doing here?" he hissed in an angrier tone than he'd intended.

Rachel blinked. "I thought he could use a little more education, given that I have two fathers. He speaks very highly of you all the time, but it can be different when it's family." Kurt's spine shuddered at the implications of Rachel having shared similar thoughts as he. "He'd also told me about Dave, but I didn't think..."

"Neither did I, at first," he admitted.

The two glanced over at the corner where Finn and Dave were deep in conversation. "I think they'll be okay, don't you?"

Kurt exhaled. "Yeah. Yeah, I think so." He turned back to her. "So you're actually considering introducing Finn to your fathers?"

Rachel brightened. "Yes! At least, I think it's inevitable by this point. Speaking of which, I heard you talked to Chandler recently! What do you think?"

"I did. I'm sorry, Rachel, but I don't think I'm interested right now. Besides the fact that I have absolutely no time for dating, we're... too much alike, you know? I think I'm more inclined towards someone who'll complement me, but is a little more different from me. I just think it's more interesting that way."

"I see. So what are you looking for in a match?" Kurt raised a skeptical eyebrow. "I'm not going to start shoving blind dates at you! I just want to know so if I do encounter a potential boyfriend, I'll know whether to bother to bring him to you or not."

Kurt hesitated, unsure if he wanted to follow through on this line of conversation. Oh, hell with it. What can it hurt? As long as Rachel didn't ask any specifics about the kind of guy he'd had crushes on before... He glanced towards Finn and winced. "Okay, fine..."

Little did he know, at least then, the convergence his conversation and his stepbrother's were taking.

"Seriously man, it's cool. I've... I've learned a lot from Kurt."

"So have I."

"He taught me a lot about gay guys, and... I swear, I won't tell anyone. And you're still my friend. Even if I don't understand everything about gays, I think I understand enough. If you ever wanna talk to someone about it... I mean, a lot of what I'll say is just stuff Kurt's told me, but if you need it..."

"I... Thanks, dude. That... that really means a lot, you know? That you care..."

"You kidding? Of course I care. It's no problem. Seriously. But is this why you've been acting kinda off lately?"

"I... guess."

"So what are you here for, anyway? Looking for a guy?"

"Shut the fuck up! I am not! I'm not even out yet; what the hell would I be trolling for a guy for?"

"But you want to, right? What kinda guy you looking for?"

"Someone... strong, I guess, inside and out. I mean, physical strength is great for aesthetics, but I'd really like someone who has inner strength too."

"Oh, geez, I dunno... Someone who'll be patient with my bullshit, for sure. Someone who actually cares about other people."

"Someone who has a lot to offer to the world, and wants to share it. That's what I want to do, so I suppose I'm looking for someone who'll at least understand it, even if he doesn't march lockstep right alongside me."

"Someone beautiful... Someone who knows what he wants and how he's gonna get it... Ambitious, I guess. I like that. I respect that."

"I'd love him to be talented in some way, I suppose, like I am. Not necessarily in the same way, but someone..."

"Special?"

"That's a good word for it. Just someone who's not part of the crowd somehow. I stand out, so I'd love to have a partner who does so as well."

"Someone who appreciates romance like I do, I guess... Stop smirking, Hudson, so I'm a softie, sue me. Someone who's loyal... but strong enough to fucking demand the respect he deserves."

"He'd have to be intelligent, of course. Someone capable of deep compassion and empathy."

"Someone who wants to grow old with me. Who knows who I am and likes that guy."

"That sounds lovely."

"I suppose. But..."

"Where'd I find someone like that? At least someone like that who's interested in me?"

"I don't think I'll be finding anyone like that anytime soon."

"Maybe you will. Or you have, and just don't know it."

"I hope so. I really do."