Lacunar

7. Plague

"How was the physio?" Bella asked as she popped a baby tomato into her mouth.

"It was good," Edward replied quietly. He took a deep breath before he spoke up again. "I don't want every conversation to be about me. I want more of you. I feel as if there are parts of you that are somewhat fresh to me... like I don't remember ever knowing it was there before."

Edward had continued to look back at old photographs, hoping that they'd trigger something in his brain. He incessantly held onto fervent optimism to, one day, regain the ability to fill in those miniscule holes in his memory.

"Okay. What do you want to know?" Bella asked, sipping her red wine.

"What was the last thing that we argued about?" Edward said without missing a beat.

He's thought about this for some time, Bella thought to herself.

"W-why do you want to know?" she asked, curious. "I feel like I can't even remember."

Edward stared at her for another second before looking away. "So we don't usually fight, then? Don't get me wrong; I hate arguments. I just thought that all couples had their fair share of bickering."

"We did bicker," Bella said. "We just... didn't bicker a lot."

"Maybe that's why I can't remember those negative recollections then," Edward surmised.

Bella swallowed thickly, trying not to think too much about the arguments that they'd had prior to Edward's car accident. However, her thoughts decided that it was an ideal time to torment Bella. She stared at the plate of food in front of her as a wave of queasiness rolled in her stomach.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked, reading her like an open book.

In the early stages of their relationship, Bella had found it fascinating that Edward could read her so transparently. It was the same, vice versa, for her. The two young lovebirds thought that this was sign of them being destined soul-mates. Together, they blossomed.

She always remembered what he liked.

He always treasured her opinions.

But as the relationship went on- playing out the ups and downs of marriage- they grew tired with each other. She detested his hasty assumptions and his lack of patience. Whereas, he thought she was unhealthily stubborn, always eager to deny the most obvious- so as to maintain her dignity.

Simple debates would become more argumentative and soon enough, close neighbors would pay them a visit, just to check that everything was okay.

Bella thought about excusing herself from the dinner table, under the guise of stomach cramps, but a heavy burden of guilt weighed down on her. It shackled Bella to her chair, pinning down her abdomen which made her even more nauseous.

She didn't want to lie to Edward.

She wanted to tell him the truth.

But he was still in the early stages of remembering. She didn't want to taint those ethereal memories that depicted the beauty of their relationship.

Not the flaws.

Not the ugly parts.

"I keep dreaming about our high school years and our wedding night," Edward said softly. "I can also remember our first few years of marriage. It's like a song that is always on repeat. It's as if my brain won't allow me to switch to different tracks in an album. It's so selective and... secretive."

Edward chuckled as he shook his head. Bella smiled but it didn't reach her eyes.

She knew that it was only a matter of time before the plague of bad memories would haunt them both.

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