The service hadn't quite started when we entered the church. Billy and Charlie moved to the front pews straight away, to sit with the Clearwater's, but Jake lingered at the back with me.
"I should probably go sit with the guys." He mumbled apologetically. I craned my neck, the rest of the 'pack' was sitting in the second pew, in suits and various tribal decorations. Scanning the rest of the congregation, I saw Emily a few rows back, chatting quietly to her neighbor, dabbing at her eyes with a hanky.
"Oh, Jake, do you have a handkerchief?" I put a hand on his chest. His eyes narrowed for a second.
"Ummm, no." Oops, I had offended him. I shook my head.
"Don't be a dork. It's for the suit" I scolded. Opening my purse, I pulled out one of the big white handkerchiefs I have shoved inside. I had forgotten to give one to Charlie, but I quickly folded one into a point and tucked it into the breast pocket on Jake's jacket. His face smoothed out.
"Thanks." He smiled. Then he dropped his voice. "Maybe you wanna sit with Quil? He's in the second to back row, on your left… don't look!" I dropped my hand from Jake's chest, suddenly aware that I had laid it there too long. "I feel really bad for not sitting with him. Can you…" He trailed off.
I nodded. "Of course!" I patted his hand and gave him a little shove. He didn't seem like he wanted to move, but he lumbered off anyway, his long limbs looking momentarily awkward.
Quil looked up as I squeezed past people to get to him. His face was grim, eyebrows drawn. "Hi." He mumbled as I sat down. "You're still allowed to talk to me?"
"Oh Quil." I groaned, my heart aching. "I am so sorry. I know Jake wants to be back here too!"
He glowered. "So you're in on it too, now?" I nodded apologetically. His hands were trembling in his lap, I reached to take one between mine. I held a gasp between my teeth as my skin touched his. His hands were hot, burning, like he had a fever.
"Quil. Do you trust me?" I asked in a whisper, as the service began. He nodded glumly. I leant my head against his shoulder. "Trust me, Quil, you'll know soon enough. No one feels good about keeping secrets from you. I know that Jake and Embry miss you. You'll understand when… when it's your time." He opened his mouth to protest, but I cut him off. "And don't hate Sam. He isn't the brain-washing monster that we thought he was. He really is trying to help. Without him, Jake would be in a whole lot of trouble."
Quil's body slumped in the seat. We listened to the service for a while, my hand still clasping his, his skin still flaming hot. "How long have you been running hot like this?" I whispered.
"A couple of week's" Quil murmured back. "Mum reckons it has something to do with this massive growth spurt I've been having, gone through three pairs of jeans in the past couple of months." He sounded pleased. I smiled, thinking back to when I first met him, when he was wearing his tight shirt to show off his muscles. Getting bigger would definitely appeal to him.
"So. You with Jake now?" Quil asked, ignoring the dirty looks his neighbor was giving him for talking during the ceremony.
I shrugged. "I really don't know."
He snorted, his hand twitching in mine. "Get it sorted already. If I ever talk to Jake again, I'll strangle him if he's still pining over you." I could feel myself blushing, I straightened up, taking my head from his shoulder. I trained my eyes on the back of Jacob's head, wishing I knew what to do.
Harry Clearwater's children were standing at the front of the church, reading their last goodbye's to their father. I could see Charlie blowing his nose, and Billy was wiping his eye's with the back of his hand. On Charlie's left was a woman, bent over, sobbing with grief. Harry's widow. Despite not knowing Harry very well, I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I pulled one of my hands from Quil's and dug into my handbag for another hanky. When I heard him sniffing, I passed the handkerchief I had brought for Charlie, to Quil. The children, Leah and Seth, were singing a low, sad song, in their native tongue. Leah put her arm around Seth's shoulders as tears spilt down their cheeks.
I felt Quil tense up suddenly. Sam had risen to his feet, and the rest of the pack had followed suit. Slowly, in single file, they walked past us back down the aisle, and out of the doors. Jake caught my eye and shrugged as he past. Quil swore under his breath. "What the hell was that?" I gripped his hand harder as it started to shake again. "They walk out of a funeral, in some kind of freaky formation, and no one bats an eyelid." The seat beneath me started to quiver with the force of Quil's shaking. The woman next to Quil hushed him loudly, her small eyes flashing. His hand gripped mine spasmodically and I could hear his teeth grinding.
"Right, Quil, we have to leave." I stood, yanking hard on his arm. "Now. We have to leave now." He glared at me, reluctant. "Trust me, remember. Seriously. We have to get out of here." He lumbered to his feet as I apologized to the people we had to squeeze past. "Sorry, my friend is ill, he needs fresh air." Heads turned to look at our graceless departure, most carried disapproving looks.
We burst out of the doors, Quil's body shaking uncontrollably. He moved towards the main road, but I tugged him towards the trees that flanked the church. "No, this way." He followed me, wary. I stumbled through the trees, trying to get him out of sight, in case anyone passed by. "Hurry." I hissed, growing anxious as his tremors increased.
"Bella." Quil whimpered, fear evident in his small voice. "What's happening. I feel… I feel strange."
"Oh god. Quil. You have to calm down. Please. Deep breaths." His teeth were rattling together. "Clothes. Oh man. You have to get out of those clothes." His eyes widened with shock. I grasped him by the shoulders. Staring straight into his eyes, I tried to keep my voice from shaking.
"Quil. Listen to me. What I am going to say will sound crazy. Crazier than anything else you have ever heard." I grunted, absolutely sure that this was going to go badly. "You. are. going. to. turn. into. a. wolf. You need to get undressed, and you need to run, that way." I pointed away from La Push, into the heart of the trees.
"In-into a w-wolf?" he stammered, shock rendering him motionless.
"That's what the others couldn't tell you. Now get your clothes off, or they'll be ruined." I put my hands under his lapels and started to slide it off his shoulders as he stood frozen. "Please Quil, you'll be dangerous, you have to get away from people." That seemed to snap him out of it.
"Is this some kind of sick joke?" He growled, his hands coming up and wrapping harshly around my wrists. I winced as his grip threatened to crush my bones. "Is this something you cooked up with that stupid gang?" He shook and swore. He roughly threw me to the ground. His face grimaced, as if in pain. "Get me to run naked through the bush? How stupid do you think I am?" His head was rocking back and forth convulsively, his back doubling over.
I opened my mouth, terrified. I wanted to scream, but we were too close to the church, someone might see Quil change. I was shaking now too, my face felt cold, my blood drained. "Jake!" I called weakly "Sam, Paul, anyone! Help Quil!" Quil's teeth were bared, his eyes wide, scared, angry.
As I watched, his face started to change, growing longer, darker. Howls broke through the air, slow and mournful. The pack was paying its respects to Harry Clearwater. Quil's head whipped around, his nose, longer than before, sniffed the air. He dropped to his hands and knees, his eyes rolled back into his head. Still wide open, his eyes were just white and red, like death, his head swinging. I screamed then, scrabbling forward, trying to reach him, but my limbs were stiff. "Quil!" I shrieked. Strange, tortured grunts and cries were tearing from him. There was a rip as his body suddenly burst out of itself.
Scraps of cloth flew through the air as his body seemed to explode with fur. His wail changed into a snarl. The new Quil writhed on its side, confused. I called his name again, vaguely noticing that I was crying.
The baying grew closer, more frantic. They must have suddenly been able to hear Quil in their thoughts. Quil's body stilled for a second. I reached out, my legs useless. My fingers were an inch from the top of his head when he found his legs and threw himself upright, backwards away from me. Towering over me, he snarled. I instinctively reached up, begging, scared. Fear was all over the wolf's face, his paw came out in a flash, the tips of his claws raked down my wrist and the back of my hand, tearing the skin open. I gaped at him, his shaking form. A snarl ripped from his throat, his lips drawn back, he crouched, as though to leap.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I felt my entire system shut down, like someone had turned the switch off. I could hear Quil snarling, the snap of his teeth, the rustle of the leaves under his paws, but I felt no fear, no pain. My hands came up to my throat, and I mouthed a silent prayer, a declaration of my love for my friends and family, a plea to keep them safe. The howls had stopped, spasmodic barks were bouncing through the trees. I remember wondering what was taking Quil so long when there was a furious howl and a great thud. I opened my eyes to a vision of blurred fur and teeth flying through the trees in front of me. Another great furry form flew in from the trees and joined in the fray. I lay there, transfixed. Shock had turned me into a vegetable, I was seeing the world through cartoon glasses, the fight in front of me looked just like one of those daffy duck dust-ball brawl's, with paws and tails sticking out from the sides.
Another wolf emerged from the trees, this one skidded to a halt in front of me, his tongue lolling out. He barked once, pointing his nose towards the town. I nodded, and tried to struggle to my feet. I braced my hand beneath myself, and it failed. Surprised, I held it in front of my face. The skin was torn from the back of my hand, hanging in a huge flap over my fingers. Blood was running in thick streams down my arm and into the dirt. My dress was saturated at the cuff. I tried to flex my fingers, but they wouldn't move. I looked harder, wondering what the pearly lumps in my flesh were. My stomach lurched as I realized that the smooth ribbing beneath the blood was the bones of my fingers, radiating out from my wrist.
The wolf in front of me whimpered, then barked roughly, startling me, and within seconds the fight had stopped. The three wolves involved were bent down, noses pressed to the ground, as thought tethered to the dirt. I looked up at one of them, his dark dark eyes staring at me balefully. I whispered his name, Jacob, my sun. The earth started to spin, I felt my stomach pitch again, my face against the damp leaves. I felt fur against my cheek and hands lifting me from the ground. I tried to tell them that I was okay, but my mouth felt thick, the words were like rubber. I felt like I was at once a thousand feet above the earth, while also being buried beneath it. The last thing I felt was a hot hand on my face, before a black as heavy as lead pressed my eyelids shut.