Name: Shattered Glass

Author: Sdfreeze

Chapter 7

Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer

7

I sat in the back of lab, arriving late and leaving early, to avoid having to face Edward. He came over a couple of times, but I never left my room and he never tried to come in. Work was crazy with the move to the new place, and took a lot of energy to get it reopened. Edward worked very hard along side of us, but I managed to always be in a different area than where he was working.

After several weeks Alice approached me about going on a date with a friend who was in town for the weekend. She promised it wouldn't be anything with potential and only wanted him to feel part of the group. I reluctantly agreed. I was stunned when I showed up at the bowling alley to see Edward there, with a date.

"Bella, this is Mike Newton," Alice said, "We all went to school together."

I smiled politely and tried not to be disgusted when he looked me up and down. "Do you know how to bowl?" he asked.

"Yeah, I've been a few times."

"Enough for me to bet money on us winning?"

"Absolutely not," I warned him and his smile faded a bit.

I walked over to get my shoes and overheard Edward arguing with his date. "I'm not wearing shoes other people have worn first, no telling what diseases they have," she said as she walked away.

I chuckled and Edward turned to look at me. "Better wear a condom," I said softly as I reached for my shoes.

"I suggest you stay sober tonight, because Mike sure won't," he retaliated.

The night was so uncomfortable. Edward's date bowled in heels, and complained about the weight of a child's ball. Mike was so competitive and took pleasure in making fun of anyone who didn't throw a strike.

I watched as Mike pumped his fists into the air to celebrate the spare he picked up, and then downed most of the beer directly from the pitcher. Edward leaned over the back of my chair to whisper, "makes you want him, doesn't it?"

"Hey, I didn't pick my date, what's your excuse?"

"Victoria is an acquired taste," he laughed.

"Sure you don't mean a monetarily expensive taste," I said, then instantly regretted it.

"Your claws are showing," Edward laughed.

I stood angrily and headed to the bathroom. There is nothing more disgusting than a bowling alley women's room. I was scrubbing my hands vigorously when Victoria came into the room. "I hate bowling," she whined.

"Why did you come?" I asked her pointedly.

"Serious? Do you see who I am with? I would go to the roller derby if Edward asked me."

"What's so great about Edward?" I asked trying not to show any interest.

"He is only gorgeous, rich, and obscenely gorgeous and rich," she laughed thinking her comment was funny.

"What's his major?" I asked her, wanting to see if she knew anything else about him.

"Who cares," she said as she rolled her eyes at me.

I suddenly felt sorry for Edward. She only wanted someone on her arm she could show off, not anyone she was actually interested in. Surely Edward could tell the difference. I was really hoping he didn't share his story with her. She wouldn't appreciate everything he had gone through, and the thought suddenly hit me….I never appreciated him either.

I marched back to the table and asked Edward if I could speak to him privately. He followed me outside and had a smirk on his face. I almost lost my nerve to talk to him and had to force myself to say something nice and not the smart ass comment his look evoked.

"I just wanted to tell you thanks, for all the stuff you have done for me. I really like living with Alice and Rose and you helped me make it through some pretty tough nights. You went to a lot of effort and I never said thank you."

He looked at me sideways and waited for the punch line. I simply stared back at him without offering anything else.

"What brought this on?" he asked.

I looked at my shoes and admitted, "I think people see you only on the surface. You have a lot underneath and I think you should know that is the best part of you."

His face pulled into a huge smile and he laughed, "Sure you don't want to rephrase?"

I thought over my sentence and felt my face redden. "And now you've ruined it," I said as I headed back inside.

"Wait," he laughed and grabbed my arm. "Don't go inside; let me say something to you."

"I didn't bring you out here to say anything to me. I just wanted to say thanks, that's all."

"I am dating Victoria because I am trying really hard to move on. You won't go out with me and you know that is what I want. But if you are ever ready, please let me know."

I stared at him as I shook my head, "Edward, Victoria is not someone you should be dating, and I am not saying that to make you available for me. You deserve better."

"Mike Newton is not anywhere close to what you deserve, yet here we are," he challenged.

"I don't want a relationship, Edward."

"Really, when I kissed you, asleep and awake, your body was saying differently."

"Come on, I don't want to do this. This was not why I asked you to come out here."

He looked at me for several minutes. I realized I was not being held to the spot and could go back inside whenever I wanted. I tried to make my legs move; it would be so easy to just turn around. I took a deep breath and Edward took a step toward me.

"Don't" I whispered.

"You're going to have to say it like you mean it, Bella." He took another step in my direction and I still couldn't move, so I closed my eyes.

I felt his hands on both of my cheeks and could feel his warm breath on my face. "Open your eyes, Bella."

I slowly opened my eyes to see his face right up against mine. He leaned his forehead on mine and whispered, "Ask me to kiss you."

My heart was beating out of my chest and my legs were shaking so badly I thought I would fall down. He smelled like beer and peppermint and my face was on fire where his hands touched my flesh. "Ask me," he said again.

"Kiss me," I moaned just as the door flew open and Victoria walked out. We both jumped back and I instantly headed inside to leave Edward to deal with his furious date.

I walked to our table and both Alice and Rose gave me an odd look. I grabbed the pitcher of beer and poured a big glass, downing it quickly. Mike swiftly filled it again and I glared at him before drinking it down in one gulp.

"Hold up there, Bella," Jasper warned.

"I'm of legal age, and you're not my father," I said to him as Mike howled and refilled the glass. Just as I brought it to my lips someone grabbed the glass from my hand and began pulling my arm, leading me away.

"Hey," I yelled out to see Edward's angry face turn to mine.

"If you think I'm letting Mike take advantage of you tonight, you are crazy."

"Mind your own date," I said with malice.

"I'm taking her home and then I'm coming over to talk to you. I would really prefer you not be drunk when I get there." He dropped my arm and walked away. I was terrified to have to face him. I couldn't deny it any longer that I was attracted to him and I obviously had no self control when he was around.

I wasn't ready for a relationship and I knew I would have to find a way to make him forget about the possibility of having one with me. I turned to look at Mike and I knew he was the answer. If Edward came over to find me all over Mike he would forget about me forever. I just didn't know if I had the guts to do it.

The sight of Jake's mangled body came into my mind and I found the courage to do whatever I had to do to get rid of Edward forever. I walked back to the table and sat next to Mike and smiled seductively at him.

His eyes were dilated and he smelled like stale beer. "A cabs outside, want a ride?" I asked him.

"I'll give you a ride, baby," he said as he stared at my chest. I felt sick inside, but I stood and held out my hand for him.

"Bella, what are you doing?" Rose asked me.

"What I have to do," I replied.

I saw her grab her purse and pull out her phone and I hoped she was calling Edward. I needed him to see what I was doing, and the sooner he saw, the sooner I could put a stop to it.

I had to practically carry Mike from the car to the elevator, but once the button was pushed he threw himself at me. His hands were all over my body and I kept trying to push him off of me. He was rough and overpowering and I was beginning to get scared. When the elevator door opened I was relieved to see Edward standing there waiting.

I expected him to grab Mike off of me, but he looked into my eyes with such a hurt expression it made me begin to cry.

Mike finally looked at him and slurred, "You're going to have to wait your turn, dude."

"Get off me," I screamed at Mike, as I tried everything I could to get him away from me. "Edward, help me," I yelled.

"Help you, isn't this little display for my benefit? Isn't this what you wanted me to see?"

I began flailing my arms to get away from Mike and out of the elevator; Edward finally stepped forward and pulled Mike away. I ran to my apartment and leaned against the door inside as I sobbed in shame.

Alice and Rose came home and held me as I admitted to them my plan. They didn't judge me or try to talk me into anything. They just listened and ran me a hot bath. I was lying in the bubbles with the lights out, still gasping for breaths from my hard crying, when Edward walked in and sat on the ledge of the tub.

I lowered myself deeper into the water and he only rolled his eyes. "I did all of this, too. I withdrew from the world, I got mad as hell at the world, I used alcohol and drugs to disappear from the world, and I slept with anything that moved to get back at people who dared to love me. None of it works."

"I don't want you to love me," I said as I gasped for another breath.

He got onto his knees and leaned his arms into the water to run his fingers up my arm and hold my hand. "It's too late, I already do," he admitted.

I closed my eyes and felt my lips quiver. He reached out with a wet finger and touched my lips. "I know you're not ready, and I will give you all the time you need. If you never love me back that is okay. I will treasure your friendship."

"I want you to find a wonderful woman, Edward."

"I have," he smiled.

"I have too much baggage," I said honestly.

"Then let's dump some of it. Tell me about that night."

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. He smiled gently and ran his finger down my cheek. "Start with the fight."

"He asked me to marry him," I began quietly. "I had told him so many times I didn't love him that way, but he bought a ring and proposed anyway. I was so angry and I yelled at him. He told me he was sure I could learn to love him and begged me to give him a chance. I told him to stay out of my life and never speak to me again."

"He knew you didn't mean it, Bella. Hell, look at how many times you told me to leave you alone."

I laughed and it felt so good. "I did mean it when I said it to you," I teased.

"Tell me about the phone call," he pushed.

"A neighbor heard over her CB radio that a Forks officer had been shot. She called to see if it was my father. My mom had gone after Jake, so I jumped in the car and headed off to find her. It was Christmas season and every house on the block was lit up. I didn't even realize I didn't have on my lights until I screeched around the turn. My mom went under the car, but Jake flew into the windshield. His smashed face was staring blindly right at me."

The warm bath water was suddenly ice cold and I was shivering uncontrollably. Edward grabbed a blanket off my bed and wrapped my wet body before carrying me to the mattress.

"Did you go to the funerals," Edward asked.

I only shook my head back and forth. "I'm such a coward," I whispered against the blanket.

"You need to go to their graves, Bella. It will give you closure."

"No," I said in a panic.

"Yes," he said forcefully. "Jake was a good guy, and you had a wonderful mother. They deserve to be honored."

"They won't want me coming there," I said adamantly.

"I spent a lot of hours with a priest and I learned only love continues on, everything else is temporary, but love is eternal."

I didn't know if his words made sense, or I just wanted so desperately to believe him, but I decided to give it some thought. I wiped the tears from my face and tried to smile at him. He chuckled and stood up to grab my brush from my desk.

I turned over and let him brush my wet hair and marveled at how gentle he was. "Tell me about your parents," I said to him.

"I am so lucky to have two sets of great parents," he said lovingly. "Edward and Elizabeth Masen were my biological parents."

"You changed your name?" I asked in shock.

"Edward Masen died, years after the car crash. Edward Cullen rose from the ashes. I could tell you storied to curl you toes, but that was long ago and I don't even remember being that person. Carlisle and Esme Cullen brought me back to life and taught me what love is all about."

"You are lucky," I smiled.

"I would love for you to meet them," he said and kissed the back of my head.

"I can see it now, hey parentals, this is a girl who killed her mom and best friend, we have tons in common."

He laughed at my inappropriate joke and added, "I planned on saying, this is the whore I met in the elevator, but whatever."

I turned around to glare at him, but his beautiful face with a large smile, caught me off guard. "Can I admit something to you?" he asked.

"Okay."

"I wanted to kill Mike."

"Well, five more minutes and I would have let you," I said as a shiver went through me.

We stared at each other and I watched as he swallowed deeply. "I better let you get dressed," he said in a whisper.

"It's nothing you haven't seen before, so grow up," I repeated the line he had used on me before.

He put both hands on my face and pulled me so close to his mouth, "Ask me," he breathed.

"Kiss me," I said as I pushed my lips to his. He rolled me onto my back and I managed to get my arms free from the blanket and pulled him over me. We just couldn't seem to do the whole tender, slow thing. We instantly became frantic and I heard his shirt tear as I pulled it off his body and over his head.

The blanket had been pulled to my waist and the top halves of our bodies were pressed tightly together when Edward suddenly pushed away from me.

He was struggling to steady his breathing and kept running his hand through his hair in frustration. "What's wrong," I asked him.

"We have to slow down, we're not ready for this," he said, trying to convince himself.

I knew he was right, emotionally I had a lot of work to do, but physically it was impossible not to want him. "You are seriously going to have to stay away from me, because….."I bit my lip to make myself stop talking.

He turned to look at me and his body began falling towards me as I reached out for him, "No," he said suddenly and jumped up. "Get dressed and I will wait for you in the other room."

He walked out as I lay stunned, still half wrapped in the blanket.