The blood started to form a dry crust over my knuckles as I walked past my house and towards Stark's Pond. The place was empty. Perfect. I sat with my back against a tree, staring out over the uninterrupted water. Everything was the same as before. It was as if the world didn't care. Angrily, I picked up a stone and threw it into the water. Ripples broke the smooth surface, imperfection in a perfect environment. Like me.
"Craig?" I whirled around and narrowed my eyes.
"What are you doing here." It was Kenny motherfucking McCormick.
"I came here to think," he said, sitting next to me. I turned away and flipped him off. Why the fuck did he have to follow me? We sat in silence for a bit, watching the ripples slowly fade away from the pond. "Why are you here?" He asked, lowering his hood.
"Thinking," I murmured quietly, fighting down my emotions. I'm not going to cry. Kenny looked at me, his blue eyes searching my face.
"About?" I grit my teeth.
"It doesn't matter." He opened his mouth as if to speak, but thought about it and nodded. A few moments later he spoke.
"I'm here because I figured going to school wasn't worth it since I'm not going to get anything out of it and somebody I want to get to know better, just walked off the bus," he said quietly, looking out over the pond and watching two dragon flies dart about.
"Oh." I hugged my knees to my chest and looked at the ground. Kenny hummed.
"Yeah."
"I'm here because the world's shit and my life just fell apart," I choked, fighting the tears that were forming in my eyes. Kenny looked at me again. Lowering my head, I squeezed my eyes shut as a single tear leaked out. Fuck.
"Just let it out, Craig," he said gently, placing his hand on my shoulder.
"Stripe's dead." I whispered, letting the tears pour down my face, "I'll never see him again. The only structure to my life is gone forever. I don't even know how I'll cope." Kenny swallowed hard and pulled me into his shoulder. I buried my face in his shirt and let the tears soak through as he rubbed my back. He smelt like smoke and aftershave - that cliche shit one that is supposed to make girls fly into your arms. I ignored the sarcastic comments I wanted to make and let myself relax into him. Each breath I took made the weight on my shoulders, slowly disappear.
"When did he die?" He murmured into my hat.
"Early this morning, I woke up and he was gone."
"Oh god and then Cartman - shit! That's why you got off!" He exclaimed, pulling me tightly against him.
"Yeah," I mumbled, "he's a total ass." Kenny chuckled lightly and lay back, pulling me down with him. 'Fuck - this is so gay,' I thought to myself, trying not to think about how a thin piece of fabric was separating me from his toned torso.
"Doesn't it feel better to let it out?" He asked, running his fingers along my shoulder and back.
"Yeah." I sighed, closing my eyes slightly as the tears dried on my skin.
We lay there in silence for a few minutes, Kenny staring up at the sky and me lying with my arm wrapped around him. "Do you want to talk about Stripe?" He asked, gently. I cracked one eye open and looked up at him through my eyelashes.
"No." I'd already appeared weak enough today. I sure as hell wasn't going to start talking about my feelings and memories. I'm not a girl. I also felt like if I talked about him, I would lose the memories and that was something I didn't want to happen.
"Okay," said Kenny, sighing to himself, "what do you want to do?" I yawned slightly and took my arm off him to rub my eyes.
"I don't mind - as long as we don't talk about him." He snorted.
"We won't. I'm tired as shit so we could sleep? And then maybe get lunch?" He asked hopefully.
"Yeah, sure, whatever," I muttered, closing my eyes and shifting into a more comfortable position, with my head on his shoulder and arm around his torso. Kenny let out a surprised and happy gasp, wrapping his arm tighter around me.
"We'll do that then," he whispered. I nodded and drifted off to sleep, the feeling of Kenny's fingers on my back making me feel warm inside.