"Right, back to work!" Ethan said, filled with a sense of glee, he just wanted to get things back to normal. Cal didn't object- he knew not to push Ethan. He didn't want his having yet another panic attack.
Ethan walked up to Connie's office door at the end of his shift, scared of the conversation to come. He raised his hand to knock on the door, but froze when nearing into knock. He couldn't bear to hear the conversation that was about to happen.
Come on, Ethan. Get it done and over with. Man up! He tried to console himself, and to his surprise, he gave three sharp knocks on his bosses' door, before he could stop himself. No going back now.
"Come in!" A shrilling voice came from inside, which made Ethan shiver inwardly. He opened the door, and stepped in, a trembling bag of nerves.
"Ah, Dr. Hardy, please, take a seat." Ethan couldn't pinpoint the tone of her voice. It was either hiding anger, or hiding slight pity, either way, she was hiding all emotion. Nevertheless, Ethan sat down, nervously, and his gaze turned to his feet.
"Dr. Hardy, you haven't been yourself in the last couple of days, is everything alright?" Ethan gave a sharp nod, careful not to give anything away, not to give in.
"Well, Dr. Hardy, would you care to tell me what yesterday's incident was about? What about the panic attacks? Or the rudeness to my staff? " Connie interrogated a silent Ethan. a few of their colleagues were eve's dropping, intently, trying to work out what happened to Ethan. Everyone knew he was cool, calm, level-headed, and not violent, and didn't panic, at least not as much to suffer panic attacks. If they did find out, no doubt the whole department would in the end- the way gossip flies around.
Ethan gave a reply Connie was not expecting. "If you're going to do the 'good cop, bad cop' malarkey, don't do both parts!" Ethan nervously joked.
"Dr. Hardy! May I remind you that you are speaking to the clinical lead, and yesterday, you punched a member of staff? Brother or not, I could suspend you for this!" She was defiantly 'bad cop' now.
"It was nothing." Ethan murmured.
"Well, it certainly didn't look like nothing!"
"Can I just go now?" Ethan got up to leave.
"You will not leave. I am not done with you yet." Ethan didn't want to admit to anything, and instead just punched the wall by him, shocking Connie and those listening in.
"Dr. Hardy! If you can't control your anger, I'll have no choice but to suspend you!"
"SUSPEND ME THEN, I DON'T CARE!" Ethan shouted. Connie winced; she didn't want to be his next target.
"Right, you are going to tell me what's going on, before someone else gets hurt." Her tone lowered.
"NOTHING'S GOING ON!" Ethan said, still shouting.
"Maybe it was too early for you to come back." Connie reasoned. Good cop again?
"WHY WOULD IT BE? I'M PERFECTLY FINE." Ethan screamed, punching the wall a couple more times.
"You are clearly not." Connie tried to keep calm, finding it very difficult to. The staff that was listening in exchanged worried looks. What could be wrong with Ethan?
"Dr. Hardy, don't make me suspend you!" Connie's voice rose only slightly.
The realization of him being suspended hit him. "No! Don't," Ethan pleaded. He knew full well that if was suspended, he'd be more upset than ever. He realised he'd done wrong; and didn't know how to put it right. "It was my fault." He blurted it out before he had the time to think.
"What was?" There was no answer. Ethan had said too much already. "DR. HARDY?" Connie shouted.
"THAT JEFF'S DEAD!" Ethan punched the wall several more times before his hands were severely bleeding. He broke down in tears, collapsing onto his knees, crying, tears streaming down his cheeks. Cal burst in the office, grabbing his brother in a tight hug, rocking back and forth. The team outside exchanged looks of pity, Dixie looked more shocked than anyone.
"It's okay, Ethan, it's okay. It'll be alright." Cal consoled his brother.
"It was my entire fault, Cal! I should have died, not him. He's dead because of me, Cal." Ethan spoke into Cal's shoulder. Cal didn't reply. Instead he continued comforting his brother. The team looked sympathetically at him; a mess on the floor, even Connie felt sorry for the young doctor. She never realised how badly Ethan had taken the crash. Connie nodded to Cal, almost reading his mind.
"Let's go home." Cal stated to his brother. Ethan nodded. He struggled to get up, feeling weak and out of energy. He staggered slightly on his feet, but Cal had a firm grip on him. Eventually, he managed to find his balance, with his brother's support, and walked out, trying to avoid anyone's gaze, still teary, and distraught that he had given in to them.
"He really was affected, wasn't he?" Robyn blurted out once Cal and Ethan were out of sight.
"I didn't realise…" Rita added.
"No one did." Zoe reassured them.
"But, why would he convince himself of that?" Max wondered- aloud.
"Well, he was driving, wasn't he?" Ian asked.
"That's the reason." Dixie realised. "He feels responsible for all of this." After Dixie had said that, everyone now understood Ethan's current state.
"Let's hope Cal can convince him otherwise, eh?" Charlie added. The team nodded, and, after persuasion, managed to get back to work. Though, all scared for Ethan.
Haha, everyone knows now...that's kind of bad...
Don't read this next bit if you haven't watched 07 March Casualty's episode...I feel really sorry for Lily, I mean she literally collapsed with exhaustion! I wonder how things with Rita and Connie will go, don't you? Please review so I know what you think of this so far!