Hey everyone! I'm posting my official 1st UPDATE OF THE YEAR! Since I've been working on an 'advice fic' on how not to make a Sue, I just thought I'd point out some things about Mary Sue tests…they're kind of unfair! Now I'm going to prove just how mean they can be (hopefully without going off the deep end) and then go bonkers with the emo-icons! :)

Once, there was a young writer. Her name was Anna and she absolutely loved Fullmetal Alchemist. She frequently fantasized about being an alchemist, hitting it off with Ed and Al, and hey, maybe even Roy. One day, she discovered *this site*. She immediately signed up so she could post an awesome fanfic for the whole world (that includes Singapore, folks!) to see. When she wrote her story, she based the main original character, named 'Annie,' off of herself. No, Annie wasn't more beautiful [well, maybe just a little] or more talented than Anna, [well, except for alchemy], and she wasn't any more or less 'gifted' in any way that Anna already was. Problem was, Anna didn't know about "Mary Sues" in fan works, so when she started getting mean and nasty flames from people, she was confused...and not to mention, pretty pissed! [those flames sure can be harsh!] Finally, one of the 'nicer' reviewers suggested she take a Mary Sue Litmus Test. Taking the advice, Anna was none too happy with some of the results...like this one:
Annie isn't a character: she's you, or you as you'd like to be. She isn't really very cool: she blends into crowds, she hangs out on the fringes at parties, and wearing shades after dark makes her run into things. She may have sometimes thought that she was special, or destined for greater things, but probably dismissed the idea as a fantasy. She's got no emotional scars to speak of. And you've been pretty kind to her, always ready to intercede on her behalf and give her a nice easy victory.

You may have let yourself get a little too close to Annie. Maybe she's you as you wish you were, or maybe you're just afraid no one will like her and are trying to give her a free ride. Have some confidence in your writing! Annie is a good character. Give her room to be herself before you stifle her.

Wait! What? "you as you'd like to be?" And what do you mean "no emotional scars to speak of?" Sure, I've never been abandoned, or raped, or anything like that, but...none? What the hell kind of test is this anyway?

Now, admittedly, Annie did have some Sueness to her; most of the male cast, including some of the bad guys, thought Annie was kind of hot. She had skill enough to pwn almost anyone...whoa, what was that? Anyone? Uh-oh. Well, you see what I mean.

Of course, it was purelly understandable that Anna accidentally wrote up a Mary Sue...because she was a n00b! Nearly every newcomer to *this site* makes this mistake. Now granted, making her just like herself isn't really where she went wrong; it was making all the other characters wuv her and giving her OC pwnage enough to...break 2 rules in this fic (Oh Lord help us! Watch the OVA Anna!), not to mention she completely bipassed "Know Your Place, N00B!" on so many levels.

But was Annie an epic failure? Should our poor n00b just 'kill it dead' and start another character from scratch? NO!
Her OC just needed a little work. So one day, someone who actually had a heart came along and offered some advice. An angel among *this site*-ers, (s)he told Anna that if she tweaked her OC a bit, let other characters pwn her for a change, and equipped her with a set of flaws [like confusing Japanese honorifics (Edo-chan=yikes!), being the token pettanko, and having a crazy-painful weakness]. She also toned down Annie's alchemic powers; she used to be better than Edward. She used to be powerful enough to pwn just about everyone! [see "Enough With the Pwnage Powers!" and "Envy Pwns Your a$$!" for more details]. Now, she's reasonably skilled, but not too skilled, in alchemy; she's gotten her butt kicked a few times by a certain palm tree; and...Ed doesn't always get along with her. There's other stuff too, and it all helped make Annie a better character [her new name is Clair, by the way], and Anna a better writer.

The moral of the story? We all started out like Anna. We were all n00bs, but that doesn't mean we don't deserve a chance. And so do OC's. Happy New Year everybody!

So...what do you think? You weren't expecting that, were you? XD